Greatest Strength

Interviewer: What would you say is your greatest strength?

Applicant: Yes.

Interviewer: What?

Applicant: Sorry, I thought you asked if I was listening.

Two boys were arguing

Two boys were arguing when the teacher entered the room. The teacher says, “Why are you arguing?”
One boy answers, “We found ten dollars and decided to give them to whoever tells the biggest lie.”
The teacher gets angry and says, “You should be ashamed of yourselves. When I was your age I didn...

A German tourist driving through France gets pulled over for speeding, and the French police officer starts questioning him.

FPO: Name?

GT: Hans Schmidt.

FPO: Age?

GT: 36

FPO: Occupation?

GT: No! No! I’m only here on vacation!

I crashed my AMG GT into a tree

Now I know exactly how the mercedes bends.

For $1,500,000, a hot young movie producer buys himself a brand-new 2011 Ferrari GTS.

It's the most expensive car in the world, and he wants to show it off, so he takes it out for a spin.

At the first light, an ancient Moped pulls up next to him. The elderly cyclist stares at the sleek, shiny surface of the automobile and asks, "What kinda wheels ya got there, sonny?"

T...

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Eddie had forgotten his wedding anniversary

His wife was really pissed. She told him,

“Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 4 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE.”

The next morning Eddie got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough the...

Husband - My wife is missing. She went out yesterday and has not come home...

*Police Sergeant*:
What is her height?

*Husband*:
Gee, I'm not sure. A little over five-feet tall.

*Sergeant*:
Colour of eyes?

*Husband*:
Sort of brown I think. Never really noticed.

*Sergeant*:
Colour of hair?

*Husband*:
Changes a couple times a ...

A woman goes to a Porsche Dealership

A Woman goes to a Porsche Dealship to get a car

\-I need a car, said the woman

\-Of Course! what do you have in mind?

\-Looking for a convertible

\-Then you might be interested in the 911 GTS Cabrio

The price was very expensive but she still bought it

weeks ...

The Difference Between Republicans and Democrats

A young man, down on his luck, was hitch-hiking through New England. A well-dressed man driving a Lincoln pulled up, lowered the passenger side window, and asked, “Do you vote Republican or Democrat?”

“Democrat,” said the hitch-hiker. And the Lincoln sped off in a cloud of dust.

The ne...

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Should have kept his mouth shut.

A young man with his pants hanging half off his rear, two gold front teeth, and a half inch thick gold chain around his neck, walked into the local welfare office to pick up his check.

He marched up to the counter and said, "Hi. You know, I just HATE drawing welfare. I'd really rather have a ...

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Two salesmen walk into a train station

The old salesman sends the younger one up to get their tickets

Behind the counter is a stunning beauty with big tits and a beautiful smile

The young salesman stammers "I'd like two Pickets to Tittsbugh...I mean two tickets to Pittsburgh please"...she laughs, hands him the tickets and h...

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Expensive cars and their radios.

A lady bought a new $130,000 Mercedes-AMG GT car and proudly drove it off the showroom floor to take home. Halfway home, she attempted to change radio stations and saw that there appeared to be only one station. She immediately turned around and headed back to the dealer.
Once at the dealer, she ...

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