I like my coffee how I like my slaves.

Free.

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Some workers were building a house in the middle of the summer

Suddenly one of them stops and says to the others:

-Hey, why the fuck are we working and sweating under the hot sun and our boss just sits under that tree and does nothing?

Other worker also stops and says:

-You're right, he just sits there and looks at us

A third worker ...

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A Science-Minded Deviant

There's this scientist that loves dolphins. He loves dolphins so much, he wants to figure out a way to make them live forever. For years he slaves away in his basement laboratory, and he believes that he has found a compound that when given to dolphins, will make them live forever. The only probl...

A collection of jokes from Ancient Rome

Jokes of the Ancient Romans



Some provincial man has come to Rome, and while walking on the streets he was drawing everyone's attention, being a real double of the emperor Augustus. The emperor, having brought him to the palace, looks at him and then asks: "Tell me, young man, did you...

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Wolves are like sex slaves

My wife says I can’t have one

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2020 one-ish liners

2020 so far:
-Welp, I guess somebody finally fracked their way through the wrong Native burial site.

-You think 7 years bad luck for breaking a mirror is bad? You should see what happens when you let polar ice caps melt.

-Nobody’s trying to keep the Jews as slaves again are they? ‘...

All numbers are equal

Long ago in the Kingdom of Natural Numbers, there used to be slaves. The citizens appreciated the number 2 so much, to a point that they would determine one's social class by his/her divisibility by 2. And those not divisible by 2 - sorry, then they're slaves.

7 was born an odd number. That's...

I'm proud to announce that our slaves are finally free.

And that's a great price!

What do you call a fast food chain run by slaves?

Three Guys

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A tomb raider goes into a pyramid

She enters the pyramid after hearing that the pharaoh holds a great artifact. She hops and dodges all kinds of traps until she gets caught by a zombie slave.

Slave says: I'm going to make you a slave.

He forces the raider into the slave room where he jumps on her in sexual intent. She ...

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Two men are walking through the desert and stumble across a big rock

- Hey, what a weird rock!

- Yes, it looks like a pyramid!

They both dig and discover a huge pyramid.

- Shit! It's a giant pyramid!

- What do we do with this?

- We should notify the American archaeological team. These people are professional and I'm sure they'l...

Unpaid interns are like slaves

No pay, they just get experience in the field.

I believe slaves should have gotten reparations 150 years ago. I don’t believe their descendants should get them.

That ship has sailed.

There’s a queen a king and a Mongolian slave Child in a hotel. How many people are there?

None the queen is a bed the king is also a bed and slaves are property.

An unpaid internship is nothing like actual slavery

Slaves are given food and housing.

They say Harriet Tubman escorted 300 slaves to freedom via the Underground Railroad...

If you do the math, that's only 180 people.

A Husband and Wife are in church listening to a very long and drawn out sermon

After quite a bit of time, the wife gets tired and dozes off. The husband notices this and goes to poke her with his finger to wake her up. At the same time, the priest asks a question to the audience.

"Who freed the slaves from Egypt?"

"GOD" Exclaimed the wife to the husband, very ir...

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What does ISIS think of their sex slaves?

They're the GOAT.

What did the slaves owners use to purchase their slaves?

A MasterCard.

What time do wage slaves wake up for work?

Poor thirty

In Medieval Europe, there once was a triangular lake.

This triangular lake was quite large; so large, in fact, that three separate kingdoms were built on each side of this lake. These kingdoms were very different one from another.
The first kingdom was the richest - smooth stone walls built like a fortress, lavish houses for all, and a generous king...

Dad's favorite ship joke.

A ship's quartermaster descends into the galley to address the rowers. "I have good news," he said. "Today, all of your food and alcohol rations have been doubled." As he said this, a cheer went up from the slaves and they eagerly grabbed at their oars.

"One more thing," he added. "The captai...

The teacher pulls Johnny aside after a test...

“Johnny I have a feeling that you have been cheating on your tests,” she says. “You know I can’t condone cheating.”

Johnny was astounded and asked the teacher to prove it.

"Well,” said the teacher. “I was looking over your test and the question was, 'Who was our first president?', an...

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I Wrote This On The Toilet

Toss and turn I clench my cheeks,
I'm half awake and half asleep,
My stomach growls and up I sit,
To take my nightly sloppy shit

And as I stumble in the dark,
I concentrate lest I should fart,
For if I do disaster strikes,
I'll shit my pants in this cold night

A...

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Then one stormy Christmas night, Santa came to say:

"Rudolph... man, you're like the only one I can talk to. I mean... I work all year, you know? For these kids? Do you know what it takes? Goddamn elf slave labour. Slaves, Rudolph. How can a man live with that? Then I deliver the gifts and the adults call me a red-faced Commie."

"I'm old, Rudy...

If you can't beat them...

Then what's the point in having slaves?

Slave Driver

Old Joe was well off, he owned his own land, and on that land, a huge farmhouse.

The farmhouse was much too big for himself and his lady to upkeep, so he sort some help at the local slave market. He put them up in his converted barn, and paid them all a small allowance each day.

His go...

A young Jewish boy goes to a new school in a small American mid-west town

The teacher asks the class, “Who was the greatest man that ever lived?”
A girl raises her hand and says, “I think George Washington was the greatest man that ever lived because he is the father of our country.”
The teacher replies, “Well, that’s a very good answer, but that’s not quite the ans...

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