Why do late night comedians skew left wing?

Because the right wing viewers have to work in the morning.

Ben Shapiro dies in a plane crash. Wanna know why it crashes?

LEFT WING DESTROYED

What do you call a left wing hater of EA Sports?

Anti-FIFA

Left wing or Right wing, it doesn't really matter.

If either is harmed the plane will crash.

Right wing terrorism and left wing terrorism are similar

But left wing terrorism is worse. Because right wing terrorism burns foreigners, and left wing terrorism burns cars, and it could have been my car.

I would never get on a plane with Ben Shapiro

He would try to destroy the left wing.

I tried to make a paper plane out of a newspaper.

The right wing was fine but the left wing was trash.

What's the difference between the USA and a bird?

On a bird, the left wing and the right wing work together to benefit the whole bird.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Cringe Airlines

What happens when you combine Fox News, CNN, and a Fleshlight.

You get a plane

The right wing, the left wing, and the cockpit.

Why can’t Ben Shapiro fly an airplane?

He always destroys the left wing.

What’s the difference between the political left wing and right wing?

It’s the big plane called Air Force One in the middle.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A woman walks into a pet shop looking for a bird. The employee of the pet shop walks up to her and asks, "What are you looking for?"

The woman explains she wants a bird who can sing. The employee explains "We have one, but he only sings Christmas songs". The womans says "well I'd love to see it!" The employee walks into the backroom and brings out a pretty, brown parrot. "His name is Chet and he only sings when you light a fire u...

I was recently on a charter flight with my hockey team where they seated you according to what position you play.

Damn near froze to death on left wing.

"We're going to be together for the rest of our lives!" smiled my wife as we flew on our dream vacation to Hawaii...

"You seem pretty sure of yourself." I replied.

"I am!" she said, gazing out the window. "The left wing's fallen off and the engine's on fire."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Difference in Grandparents

There was this loving grandfather who always made a special effort to spend time with his son's family on weekends.

Every Saturday morning he would take his 5-year-old granddaughter out for a drive in the car for some quality time -- pancakes, ice cream, candy -- just him and his granddaught...

A man walks into a pet shop

He'd like to buy a pet for his lonely, widowed mother. The shop owner shows him all of the usual stuff,
hamsters, puppies, kittens, etc. and the man tells the owner that he's looking for something unique.

The owner takes him to the back of the shop and introduces him to raggedy looking par...

I guess politicians are just a bunch of chickens.

Ya got the right wing and the left wing.

American politics is like a penguin.

It has both a left wing and a right wing. But are only good for flapping and making noises.

Recent events reminded me of this joke:

A jet is flying across the country when the passengers began to feel shaking.

The pilot announced, "Uh Folks, we just experienced some turbulence, which caused some engine troubles on our left wing. Luckily, this jet is equipped with 4 engines, and we still have 3 functional engines! Because ...

What do politics and airplanes have in common ?

You need both right and left wings, or you crash.

Three pilots are bragging about the size of their planes...

Three pilots are bragging about the size of their planes. The British pilot says: "Well, our planes so huge that they carry 3 football teams and 3000 fans!"
The American pilot says: "Pff, OUR planes are so huge they can carry 5 baseball teams and 5000 fans!"
They look at the German pilot. He s...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Have You Heard About the new KFC Hilary Clinton Special.

its 2 small breasts, 2 large thighs and 2 left wings

Did yo hear about the Hillary special at KFC?

Two fat thighs and a left wing for $2.99

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why Pro Athletes Can't Have Regular Jobs... (long but good)

1 Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson on being a role model:
I wan' all dem kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I wan' all the
kids to copulate me."


2 New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the upcoming season:

"I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, which...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A local restaurant is having an election special...

You get two small breasts, two fat thighs, and one left wing.

Side-note: don't like Trump either don't obliterate me.

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