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Left Wing Jokes

Why do late night comedians skew left wing?

Because the right wing viewers have to work in the morning.

Ben Shapiro dies in a plane crash. Wanna know why it crashes?

LEFT WING DESTROYED

What's the difference between the USA and a bird?

On a bird, the left wing and the right wing work together to benefit the whole bird.

What do you call a left wing hater of EA Sports?

Anti-FIFA

Why shouldn’t you ride in an airplane with Ben Shapiro?

Because he’s always trying to destroy the left wing.

A plane is flying over the Mediterranean

A pilots voice comes on
And says a terrible thing has happened.

We’ve lost both engines and we’re gonna have to land in the Mediterranean.

The plane will stay afloat for a very short time.

And we’ll be able to open the door just long enough that everyone can get out.
<...

A British Airways plane...

Makes a crash landing in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean

Somehow everyone survives, and the pilot comes over the speaker system... Ladies and Gentlemen, please listen to my instructions very carefully, those who can swim I want you out on the left wing, those who cant swim, I want you out on...

I tried to make a paper plane out of a newspaper.

The right wing was fine but the left wing was trash.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Cringe Airlines

What happens when you combine Fox News, CNN, and a Fleshlight.

You get a plane

The right wing, the left wing, and the cockpit.

A man walks into a pet shop

He'd like to buy a pet for his lonely, widowed mother. The shop owner shows him all of the usual stuff,
hamsters, puppies, kittens, etc. and the man tells the owner that he's looking for something unique.

The owner takes him to the back of the shop and introduces him to raggedy looking par...

Left wing or Right wing, it doesn't really matter.

If either is harmed the plane will crash.

Fox News has determined the cause of the recent plane crash.

It was the left wing.

"We're going to be together for the rest of our lives!" smiled my wife as we flew on our dream vacation to Hawaii...

"You seem pretty sure of yourself." I replied.

"I am!" she said, gazing out the window. "The left wing's fallen off and the engine's on fire."

What’s the difference between the political left wing and right wing?

It’s the big plane called Air Force One in the middle.

American politics is like a penguin.

It has both a left wing and a right wing. But are only good for flapping and making noises.

I was recently on a charter flight with my hockey team where they seated you according to what position you play.

Damn near froze to death on left wing.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you enjoy your ride?

A loving grandfather always made a special effort to spend time with his 5 year old granddaughter on the weekends. Every Saturday morning he would take her for a drive in his car for some quality time --ice cream, pancakes, the park, the zoo-- just him and her.

One Saturday, however, he had ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Have You Heard About the new KFC Hilary Clinton Special.

its 2 small breasts, 2 large thighs and 2 left wings

I guess politicians are just a bunch of chickens.

Ya got the right wing and the left wing.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A woman walks into a pet shop looking for a bird. The employee of the pet shop walks up to her and asks, "What are you looking for?"

The woman explains she wants a bird who can sing. The employee explains "We have one, but he only sings Christmas songs". The womans says "well I'd love to see it!" The employee walks into the backroom and brings out a pretty, brown parrot. "His name is Chet and he only sings when you light a fire u...

What do politics and airplanes have in common ?

You need both right and left wings, or you crash.

Did yo hear about the Hillary special at KFC?

Two fat thighs and a left wing for $2.99

Recent events reminded me of this joke:

A jet is flying across the country when the passengers began to feel shaking.

The pilot announced, "Uh Folks, we just experienced some turbulence, which caused some engine troubles on our left wing. Luckily, this jet is equipped with 4 engines, and we still have 3 functional engines! Because ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why Pro Athletes Can't Have Regular Jobs... (long but good)

1 Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson on being a role model:
I wan' all dem kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I wan' all the
kids to copulate me."


2 New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the upcoming season:

"I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, which...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A local restaurant is having an election special...

You get two small breasts, two fat thighs, and one left wing.

Side-note: don't like Trump either don't obliterate me.

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