DMX meets Prince Phillip at the Pearly Gates after DMX dies at 50 years old.
Prince Phillip scoffs at him. "50?!".
DMX says "Nah man, you got me confused with that other rapper."
My account got hacked. If you get a DM about meat from me, don't click on it.
It's spam
Elon Musk's DM to a hot girl: "Will send pics of my rocket. Lots of thrust. Gets up fast! Wink. Wink." Girl responds…
"Would be nice if it didn’t explode after 2 minutes."
DM me if you want to turn your $100
Into my $100
How did the horse slide into the other horse’s dm’s?
hay
What do you call someone who breaks up with you via DM?
DMX
What does Julius Caesar mainly use his iPhone for?
CarPlay, DM
Chemistry joke.
A Chinese chemist took part in a chef competition in UK. His English was barely passable during the presentations, but his cooking skills were great, and he went on qualifying. In the last round, he got tied with another contestant for the first place. So an innovative tie-breaker was devised. Each ...
If anyone can teach me a chord that has a root, a minor third, and a perfect fifth
send me a Dm
Looking to play a game of D&D. If anyone is interested, please
DM me
Playing D&D with the kids... (Long)
Kids need a 4th party member, no one around, I should join. Roll a all charisma character.
...
DM: City guard catches you stealing, what do you do?
The rest of the party panics.
Me: Is the head guard a woman?
DM: Yes.
Me: I will seduce her and ask her not to...
What is it called when you need to get a hold of someone's private messages for incriminating evidence?
Carpe DM
What do you call a personal message that motivates one to feel alive and do things?
Carpe DM
A fun story about Dungeons and Dragons
I remember reading this great story, goes somewhere along these lines:
The party is traveling on a mountain in a blizzard, and every member rolls to see if they fall from the cliff. A dwarf warrior doesn't pass the check due to his armor, and falls.
DM: You fall from the cliff but hav...
How do Instagram models get paid?
Per DM
Did you hear the joke about censorship?
You might expect to simply see the word \[removed\] here, but actually most censorship is self-censorship whereby people edit their own work to pre-empt any conflict with the censors, so please DM me for the answer to this joke
I think I forgot my gmail password.
Yo CIA could you DM it to me?
Sign above an Instagram entrepreneur's door:
"Carpe DM"
I'm going to buy my Dungeon Master a goldfish
So I can carp a DM
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
Oh no!
Jack decided to go skiing with his buddy, Bob. They loaded up Jack's station-wagon and headed north. After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard. They pulled into a nearby farmhouse and asked the attractive lady of the house if they could spend the night.
"I'm recen...
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