What did Kermit the frog say at Jim Henson's funeral?

Nothing

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Jim Bob and the Blow Job Frog

A man is selling frogs in a box for $100 each. A sign says “Blow Job Frogs $100”.

Jim Bob walks up and looks in the box “No way one of those frogs is worth $100.”

Salesman “Take one down the alley and try it; If you don’t like it put it back and leave.”

Jim Bob does and comes b...

Why are there no Jim Jones jokes?

The punchlines are too long.

Jim and John wanted a drink real bad, but they barely had money between them.

Jim had an idea. He bought a large sausage.
They went into a pub and ordered 4 drinks each.

Jim said, "Don't worry, I have a plan. I'll stick the sausage through my zipper & you go on your knees and put it in your mouth. The bartender will get mad and throw us out."

They did ex...

Jim, who was late to everything, was drafted. Sure enough, in boot camp, he was last in line to get a rifle.

When it was his turn, the quartermaster said, “I’m sorry but we’re all out of rifles.” Jim said, “How can I do the drills then?” The quartermaster replied, “Take this stick and when it’s time to shoot, yell ‘Bangety Bang Bang!’ Go get a bayonet on it and maybe it’ll look better.” But, again, Jim was...

It was on this day in 1978 that cult leader Jim Jones carried out a mass murder/suicide of over 900 of his followers in Jonestown, Guyana. Horrifying. There's a joke about it but it's wildly innappriopriate.

And anyway, the punchline's too long.

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Jim Bob stays out too late

Jim Bob stays out drinking.

Jim Bob went to a bar after work and time got away from him. He stayed out too late and began to panic because his wife was going to be furious. Jim Bob became so nervous he vomited all over his shirt.

“Oh No! I’ve really done it now!” Jim Bob exclaimed in ...

Jim Bob Trains A Parrot

Jim Bob is walking to work and passes a pet store. There is a new parrot on a perch outside of a pet store.

“Squawk! Hello handsome!” Said the bird to Jim Bob.
Jim Bob smiles and goes inside to buy the bird.

“$1000 dollars” said the owner. Jim Bob doesn’t have the money but the ow...

When John Kerry was running for Vice President he told Drew and Jim to load his baggage onto his plane until he got back. Then he forgot about them.

The Carey's carry on carrying on Kerry's carry-ons.

What did Jim Carey say when his typewriter broke?

I'll writey then!



My girlfriend just came up with that on a juice run to the kitchen :\]

The best part about Jim Jones jokes

Is that theres always two punchlines

Jim, Scott, and Alex check into a hotel.

Jim, scott,and Alex check into a hotel and find out they’ll have to walk up 30 flights of stairs because the elevator is broken. To pass time while they walk, Jim decides he’ll tell jokes, Scott will sing songs, and Alex will tell sad stories. So Jim tells jokes for 10 flights, Scott sings songs for...

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Carl is in the 10th year of a life sentence when he gets a new cellmate, Jim. After taking some time to size Jim up and decide that he can trust him, Carl tells Jim about his plan to escape.

“You see," Carl says "for the first 5 years I was inside, I trained my digestive system to follow my command. Now I can eat something and it comes out broken down into it's components.”

Jim is skeptical, but intrigued.

Carl continues, "For the last five years, I've been swallowing piec...

I named my toilet "Jim" today

That way it sounds a lot better when I go to the Jim each morning

Jim and Mary were both patients in a mental hospital

One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into
the deep end.
He sunk to the bottom and stayed there. Mary promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Jim out.
When the medical director became aware of Mary's heroic act he i...

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In order to identify the body formally, the Los Angeles County medical examiner called in Bubba’s two close friends Jim-Bob and Joe-Bob

The medical examiner showed Jim-Bob the body and he responded with a sharp intake of breath and then said, “Oh jeez, he’s burnt to a crisp. Could you roll him over please sir?”

So the medical examiner rolled the body and Jim-Bob responded immediately saying, “No sir, that ain’t Bubba.”
...

Jim had just turned 21, and wanted to buy a horse for himself

Jim strode into a stable, looking to buy a horse. “Listen here” said the owner, “I’ve got just the horse your looking for, the only thing is, he was trained by an interesting fellow. He doesn’t go and stop the usual way. The way to get him to stop is to say "heyhey", and the way to get him to go is ...

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Jim moves to a small village for a new job...

... And the village has no women - only men and animals.

Jim asks a villager, "There are no women? How do you live without sex?"

The villager points to a horse and says, "Oh, we just use that horse over there."

Jim, now absolutely revolted, walks away in disgust. He thinks to hi...

on a nice summer evening, Paul, Jim and Harold went fishing at the lake.

Suddenly, Paul starts struggling and pulling.

"That's gotta be a big one!", he says.

With a strong tug, however, Paul is pulled from his feet and falls in.

After a minute, he hasn't resurfaced, leaving the other 2 men utterly confused.

"Maybe we should pull him out", Haro...

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A husband leans over and asks his wife, "Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago?"

"We went behind the village tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you."

"Yes", she says, "I remember it well."

OK, he says, "How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old time's sake?"

"Oh Jim, you old devil, that sounds like a...

Jim was out shopping with his young daughter and ran into an old college classmate.

"This is Beth," Jim said proudly, introducing his kid.

"And what's Beth short for?" The friend asked.

Puzzled, he replied,"Because she's only three!”

Jim wants to sell his car and consults his friend Tommy.

Jim’s car is getting old so he’s decided to put it up for sale but consults his friend Tommy before making the advert.

Tommy asks him, “How many miles are on your car Jim?”.

“132,000, she’s getting old” he says.

Tommy looked shocked as he wanted his friend to get some money bac...

"Can you fit any more Milky Way Chocolate Bars into your desk drawer there, Jim?"

"Nope, all outer space."

There once was a small mining town in which a man named Jim worked long and hard hours in a dark mine shaft.....

One day he and his fellow co-workers got paid and decided to have a night out on the town. They went to bars and burnt most of their money drinking, except for Jim. Jim had saved his money for something special, a brothel.

Jim walked into the brothel and boisterously exclaimed: "Show me to y...

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A reporter walks into a bar

A reporter walks into a bar in a small Louisiana town. He's been sent by his editor in the big city to get a human interest story, and so he walks up to some burly guy in overalls and offers him a drink in return for the story of the best day of his life.

"Best day? Well, that must've been th...

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Jim decided to propose to Sandy, but prior to her acceptance,

Sandy had to confess to her man about her childhood illness. She informed Jim that she suffered a disease that left her breasts at maturity of a 12 years old. He stated that it was OK because he loved her so much. “I too have a problem. My penis is the same size as an infant and I hope you could dea...

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A Father Jim has to drop a deuce during confessional...

...he pops his head of the curtain and calls over one of the alter boys - Timmy. I need you to cover for me.

Timmy walks over. I don’t know what to do.

The priest points to a list on the wall. One side has the offense and the other has the consequence.

Just lower your voice a...

Two boys were misbehaving... ...so their mother went to the local priest to look for advice. The priest thought it would be best if the boys learned integrity, by way of understanding that "God is everywhere, and He sees everything you do so you shouldn't misbehave."

The mother and the priest thought it best that the priest talked to the boys, so the mother agreed to take the boys in one at a time to talk to the priest.

She brought the first boy (Ray) to the church and left the second boy (Jim) at home. She took Ray into the priest's office and stayed out...

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Poor old Jim finds out his wife is cheating with his best friend.

He wants to hire a hitman to put an end to their affair. The private investigator Jim hired recommends a guy who's supposedly the top in the field. Jim only has a few thousand dollars in savings, though, after the lengthy surveillance campaign, and he worries it won't be enough.

"That's okay,...

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Two Assholes

“Bubba died in a fire and his body was so badly burned that the morgue needed someone to I.D. the body. So they called up his two friends, Jim-Bob and Billy-Joe, to come and try to I.D. the body. Jim-Bob went in and the mortician pulled back the sheet, and Jim-Bob said, "Yeh, he's burnt pretty bad. ...

Jim’s car is swerving all over the road so a cop pulls him over,

“Step out of the car” says the cop, “I am going to need you to take a breathalyzer test.” “I can’t”, Jim responds “You see I have very bad asthma, that can set off an attack.”

“Alright,” says the cop, “then you’re going to have to take a blood test.” “Can’t do that either,” Jim responds, “I...

What do you call Jim from The Office rolling down a hill?

A tuna roll

A woman calls her mother and says: "Mom, I've got a new boyfriend. His name is Jim and he's a postman in your neighbourhood."

- Jim? But he could be your father!

- Yes, he is a bit old, but age is just a number!

- Darling, I don't think you understand what I mean...

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There are 2 farmers, Jim and Bob, sitting in a Bar having a beer..

Jim turns to Bob, and says, "You know what, I'm going to go to college!" He then leaves the bar and makes his way over to the local college. He is met with the Dean of Administration, who is explaining to Jim what classes he is going to take.

"Alright, Jim. You are going to take 4 classes," t...

Two men, Jim and John, are walking their dogs when they pass by a restaurant.

“Let’s go in and get something to eat,” Jim suggests.

“We can’t,” responds John. “Don’t you see the sign says No Pets Allowed?”

“Oh, that sign?” says Jim. “Don’t worry about it.”

Taking out a pair of sunglasses, he walks up to the door. As he tries walking into the restaurant, t...

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The Pearly Gates

Three couples are returning from a night out on the town when their car crashes. They all find themselves facing St. Peter at the Pearly Gates.



St. Peter looks at the first man and says, “Steve, it says here in the book that you’ve been a chronic gambler all your life. Your gambling c...

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Jim is in a bar men's room finishing having a pee. He zips up and washes his hand and is about to leave when he sees a man with no arms by the door.

"Hey mate, can you help me out here?" the no armed man says.

Jim grimaces but decides to help the man out. They walk over to a urinal and Jim unzips the man's pants. "Yeah, just take the old boy out for me, will you?" the man says.

Jim pulls the man's underwear down revealing the no ...

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Best friends???

Frank and Jim, are walking down the street when Jim turns to Frank and says, "Frank, if you had two of those top-of-the-line Mercedes Benz cars, with all the gear, electric windows, CD player and all of that, exactly the same, would you give me one?"

Frank says, "Jim, how long do we go back? ...

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Three Hobos are hunkered down around a jungle fire by the railroad tracks

Reminiscing about the windfalls they'd found in their years riding the rails and living the vagabond life. The first hobo said:

"This one time, a train stopped, and I found a whole case of pork and beans. Took some strength to haul it off and hide it, but I had enough chow to make it through ...

Jim walked into a bar......

Jim, walked into a Bar and aggressively shouted his order to the bartender

”Please give me a plate of chicken wings and then give everyone half a kilo steak and mutton, cause when I eat,
I want everyone to eat!”

The bartender complies to this by giving Jim a plate of chicken wings ...

An old dying man invites 3 of his friends to his deathbed and asks a favor...

He says, ‟We have been as brothers for longer than I can remember, and while I was ont rich in life, I'd like to bring some wealth with me as I die. If you could each leave $5,000 in my coffin, it would bring me great peace.”

The three men saw no fault in this, as they were all very rich, and...

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I saw my friend Jim at the bar the other week looking almost exactly like Brad Pitt.

I came up to him and said.

"Jim! How'd you end up looking like that pal? Who's your surgeon?"

"No surgeon man, a wizard. He told me of this enchanted pool past the three mountains to the east. You will see a cliff with a pool underneath, jump off the cliff and shout what you want to l...

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Two rednecks discussing the election

Jimmy Bob: I don't believe Biden won by those margins. I voted, my wife voted, my sister voted, my aunt voted, and my daughter voted!

Bobby Jim: Dang, and y'all still lost?

Jimmy Bob: You betcha, our two votes didn't count for shit.

Jack and Jim are busy stocking the aisles at Sams Club...

They're stacking pallets of Lipton's. They're about to put the last pallet on top when the forklift breaks down.
"Oh NO!", Jim exclaims, "How will we get this last pallet on top without killing ourselves?"
"Don't Worry", says Jack," just go pick up one of those disposable Bic's on the sh...

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It was Friday night. Frank, Jim and Ed were at the game ready to watch 26 infected zombie girls tear each other to pieces.

Tied around the inside of the arena, the infected girls are labelled A-Z, with fresh meat tied to their backs to entice them to fight. The winner is the last one standing.

Over 50,000 spectators watch from the stands behind a wire fence, betting slips in hand and eager for the fight to begin....

My coworker Jim sits next to another coworker, Collin. One day, Jim replaced the nametag on his cubicle to also say Collin

I asked him, "Jim, your name isn't Collin. What's going on?"

He replied, "We're trying to Collin-ize the area."

(True story)

Michael: What do you call a terminator that doesn't let you finish your sentence?

Jim: Wha-

Michael: An interrupter.

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Jim and Bob, are sitting at their local bar having a few beers.

Jim turns to Bob and says, "You know what, I'm tired of going through life without a real education. Tomorrow I think I'll go down to that community college and sign up for some classes."

Next day, Jim goes to the college and meets Dean of Admissions, who signs him up for the four basic clas...

Slim Jim

Is just a short form for

Slimothy Jimothy.

It’s nice to see that celebrities have taken up book writing during the pandemic

One Direction by Kanye West

Guitars by Mel Gibson

Mining by Brad Pitt

Pear Cider by Katy Perry

Ship Building by Tom Cruise

How to Move Things by Jim Carrey

Escape from Prison by Morgan Freeman

American Motors by Harrison Ford

Wild Animals by Wi...

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Jim and bob are working

Jim and bob are working for the same big international company. They get underpaid and the workload is huge. At some point during the friday lunch Jim just has enough and goes "That's it! I'm going to quit and I'll show them who's boss."

He stands up and like a mad bull rages towards the CEO ...

Jim and Steve are die-hard capitalists...

They go for a stroll together through a cow pasture, and Jim tells Steve that he will give him $20,000 to eat a pile of cow flop. Steve considers the suggestion, says what the heck, and eats a pile. Jim, laughing, gives him the money, and they continue on their merry way.

After a few minutes,...

Right before surgery the surgeon says: "Relax, Jim. It's just a small scalpel incision. No reason to panic."

The patient replies: "But, Doctor, my name is not Jim." The surgeon says: "I know. I'm Jim."

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A cruise on the Pacific goes all wrong, the ship sinks, and there are only 3 Survivors: Jim, Tom, and Susie.

They manage to swim to a small island and they live there for a couple of years doing what's natural for men and women to do.

After several years of casual sex, all the time, Susie felt absolutely horrible about what she was doing. She felt that having sex with both Jim and Tom was so immoral...

Dave and Jim are golfing.

Ahead of them are two women. They're not bad, but not playing as fast as the two men, just enjoying the day.

Dave says, "Go up there and ask if we can play through."

Jim climbs a rise to the next tee, then immediately runs back. "I can't talk to them! One of them is my wife and the ...

Did you hear the Jim Beam warehouse was destroyed in a fire?

It burned all the way down

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My first attempt at a joke in English (I'm Italian)

A group of friends is playing poker.

Now it's Michael's turn to give cards. He's got a broken hand in a cast, so he starts to shuffle them clumsily. He's really pissed at his condition and gets mad.

His friend Jim then interrupts him and says:

"Look, the problem is not the broke...

Can we request jokes?

Have a co-worker about to hit his working anniversary and I'd love to have a couple of jokes about people who work at a place for a long time.

Jim has worked here for so long that he used to take support calls on a rotary phone.

Something like that?

Dad: “GO TO YOUR ROOM NOW!”

Child: *Storms off* “JIM MORRISON WAS OVERRATED!”

Dad: “WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT SLAMMING THE DOORS!?”

My uncle worked in Hollywood and told me how sad it was at Jim Henson’s funeral.

Kermit was speechless.

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Jim was feeling self-conscious so he wanted his wife to reassure him by proving she can pick his dick out of a line-up

He sets up a wall with 4 glory-holes. He and 3 of his friends each stick their dicks through one of the 4 holes. The wife takes a look at the 4 penises and says "Jim, your penis is number 3". She picked correctly. Jim pulls his dick out of the hole, runs to the other side of the wall and embrace...

A drunk goes in a bar and asks for a shot of Jim Beam.

The bartender pours it and the drunk pushes it aside and asks for another shot of Jim Beam. The bartender pours it and the drunk drinks it. The bartender says, "I watched what you did and I don't understand why you pushed the first one away and drank the second one!" The drunk stated," I've been goi...

When I was a boy, sometime in the mid-90s, I had absolutely zero friends. My concerned mother brought in the neighbor kids for a dreaded 'play date'..

It started out just awful. Everyone ignored me and horsed around. Once they started trying to wreck my moms furniture, I had to take out my secret weapon.

My dad had scored an early VHS release of the last years most popular movie. I could have been the only one in the country with this mo...

Who’s a better boxer, Jim Jones or Mike Tyson?

Jim Jones, he knocked out over 900 people with just one punch

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Jim and a little girl are playing. Jim pulls down his shorts and says,

"I have one of these and you dont." The little girl starts crying and crying and runs home to her mother. The next day Jim and the girl are playing together again. Once again Jim points to his private parts and says, "I have one of these and you dont." But this time the little girl just keeps on pl...

I decided to stop calling the bathroom 'John' and renamed it 'Jim'.

I feel so much better saying "I went to the Jim this morning”

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English Literature Class

Professor starts the literature class. "Today's lesson is metaphors. A metaphor conceptualizes and exaggerate a big thing into a small creative image. As an example you can say 'The snow is a white blanket' instead of saying that snow is white. Can anyone say a similar metaphor ? "

"Tom Crui...

Jim asks his formerly obese friend Phil how he has lost weight so fast

Phil replies, "I tell you my secret. There's this clinic I went to. They have a special program that makes you lose weight incredibly fast. Here's the address."



So next weekend Jim has his first appointment at the clinic. He is welcomed by the doctor who sends him upstairs to the firs...

Arnold's is long , Jim Carry's short Madona doesn't have one and the pope has but doesn't use it?

Surname...

Jim had been out for a few days with the flu. Back at work,...

...he ran into a friend of his, who asked him, "Jim, how are you feeling?"

"I'm better, thanks. You know, it was a wonderful experience," Jim replied.

"Wonderful? How can the flu be wonderful?"

"Well, I learned that my wife really loves me. You know, whenever the mailman came by...

A dozen eggs

Jim's friend tells him:
"I have a joke for you: how many eggs can you eat in the morning, on an empty stomach?"

"I don't know", answers Jim, "I'd say a dozen".

"No, just one!" answers his friend. "After that, you're not on an empty stomach anymore!"

"Funny one!" answers the m...

The Dr. gave Jim a call and said, “Hey Jim, I’ve got good news and bad news.”

“The good news - You have 24 hours left to live.”

“Oh my gosh, doc, what could possibly be the *bad* news!?”

The doctor replied, “I forgot to call you last night.”

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Jim was out drinking at the bar, when all of a sudden he pukes all over his shirt. "Dammit!" Jim yells "My wife is going to kill me when she finds out I was drinking and puked all over my self!"

"I have an idea" the man sitting next to him said "Here." and hands Jim a $50 bill.

"What's this for?" Jim asked.

"When you get home tonight, just tell your wife I threw up on you as you passed me on the street and I gave you the money for cleaning.".

"Great idea" Jim replies...

Jim the security Guard is working at the Mexican/American border, and stops a car at a checkpoint.

The driver shows the guard his license, visa, and passport, but is clearly nervous and is sweating bullets. Jim pops the trunk open to reveal four large bags. He opens them, only to reveal that each and everyone of them is filled with dirt.



One week later, Jim stops the same driver. O...

Did you know that Jim Carrey lost the use of his left hand for a month in 1997?

He was all righty then.

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Jim, Jeff and Joe are having a few beers at the local watering hole....

and seeing as their wives aren't around to tell the REAL truth, they start talking about what happens when they get in an argument.


"Well, when Jessica and I get in an argument about what to watch on TV, I tell her I bought the damn TV so I get to pick what we watch and when we watch it...

Kermit the Frog has been really rude ever since Jim Henson’s death.

He doesn’t talk to anyone.

Everyone thinks Muhammad Ali was the best boxer in history, but Jim Jones had a way higher number of KO's...

900 with just one punch.

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Dirtiest joke on The Tonight Show (SFW)

Alan King was on The Tonight Show and told Johnny Carson that he was going to tell the dirtiest joke ever told on network TV and the censors wouldn’t bleep a single word. This was many years ago, so I’ve likely changed a few minor details.

Jim was a successful stockbroker, but finally grew w...

What the last words Jim Bowie's ex-wife said to him?

Remember the alimony

Resilient Jim

A man walks into a bar. All the guys around him recognize him as Resilient Jim, the toughest guy in town.

Resilient Jim sits down at the bar and orders a Scotch, on the rocks.

A man walks up and sits next to him. "Jim, is it true you once crashed in the Arizona Desert and walked home,...

I would tell a Jim Jones joke...

But the punchline is too long.

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(This is actually a joke by Jim Morrison) A Friend Of Mine Wanted a Duck Hunting-Dog...

...so he went to an old-timer to ask for some advice. He told him to find a dog with a tight asshole so that when the dog goes in the water, it won’t flood in his asshole causing him to sink. So my friend goes to the kennel, checking all of the dog’s assholes. The kennel owner sees him and asks what...

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A nurse is making her rounds in the nursing home....

she walks into Bob's room. He is sitting on the edge of the bed acting like he's driving a car. She asks him what he is up to.
" I'm driving to Chicago for a business trip," he replied.
The nurse continued her rounds and came to Jim's room. Jim is face down on his bed humping it furiousl...

Big Jim could tell how any animal was killed and with what weapon...

Big Jim would go to the tavern every night and proclaim he could tell how any animal was killed and with what weapon. If he could do it, he would get a free drink. After a long night of correctly identifying deer killed with arrows, and bears taken down with guns, Big Jim was exceptionally drunk and...

Friar's Flower Shop

Two brothers, Joey and Jimmy Bagadonuts, owned a flower shop in a small town in New Jersey, and business was great. They were the only game in town, until one day, two friars moved in across the street and opened their own flower shop. Having higher quality flowers, as well as the religious aspect, ...

Jim had a pregnant wife who was soon to give birth.

One day, he’s on his way home from work, when he gets the call that his wife has gone into labour. In a panic, he races to get to the hospital, but swerves his car and crashes into the ditch. When he wakes up, he finds himself in the hospital, with his brother Jack, an irascible practical joker, l...

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The 1st day at school: the new student named Jose Armando, the son of a Mexican restaurateur, entered the 5th grade. The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American history.Who said 'Give me Liberty, or give me Death?'"

She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Jose, who had his hand up. "Patrick Henry, 1775."
"Very good!" apprised the teacher. "Now, who said, "Government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth?"
Again, no response except from Jose :"Abraham Lincoln, 1863....

Why did Jim buy his friend a space heater?

It was a housewarming gift!

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A polar cub goes to its mom.

\- Mom, is dad a polar bear?

\- Yes, my darling.

\- Is uncle Jim a polar bear?

\- Yes, son.

\- What about aunt Cindy?

\- Yes, she is a polar bear too.

\- Grandpa? Is grandpa a polar bear?

\- Yes. Grandpa is a polar bear. Same with grandma.

\- A...

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So there's these two friends named Bill and Jim.

Jim has Chihuahua and Bill has a German Shepherd. These two guys go for a walk with their dogs every Saturday evening. One Saturday, as they were passing a popular bar, Bill asked Jim if he wanted to go get a drink.

Jim replied, "Um Bill we have dogs lol we can't go in there fam."

To t...

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Farmer Jim goes to the country fair

And there he sees a milking machine, he likes it so much that he buys it.

Tomorrow morning he sets up the machine but decides to test it out himself, so he puts his dick in it.

He comes once, twice, three times.

When he had enough he took the manual to see how the machine tur...

Jim was a cannibal

One day he got into an argument with someone so he killed and ate them.

A few days later he was at the doctor's office with terrible indigestion.

The doctor said "It appears that you ate something that disagreed with you".

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A guy goes into the bathroom at a bar.

He's using the urinal when this really short guy starts using the urinal next to him. The guy can't help but notice this little guy is hung like a donkey. Having had a few drinks, he comments on the dudes huge member.
The short guy laughs and in a thick Irish accent he says, "Aye. I'm a leprecha...

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Jim walks into a bar with his arm in a sling.

He sits next to his friend Bill and orders two shots of whiskey.

Bill asks him, "How'd you break your arm, Jim?"

Jim downs a shot of whiskey and says, "Well, you see, about two years ago--"

Bill interrupts him, "Woah woah, two YEARS! You didn't break your arm two YEARS ago!"
...

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Jim, the foul mouthed 1st grader.

Jim's a special boy. His teacher knows he's had it rough and understands why he's a disruptive and crude child yet she avoids calling on him when his hand is raised; he's got a terribly foul mouth.

While reviewing the alphabet, the teacher was asking the students for names of animals with co...

One day Jim exists his house and

He sees John with a huge rock in the yard. "Where did you get the rock?" Asks Jim. John answers that there is a goldfish in the pond nearby, and if he manages to catch him, it will grant him a wish. The only problem is that the goldfish has hearing problems, so he will need to speak clearly and loud...

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Todd comes into work one morning just grinning, and struts straight over to his coworker Jim.

"Damn, man! You know that new secretary, Tiffany? I banged her last night, and I gotta tell you! She was so hot in bed, she was even better than my wife!"

Jim high-fives him and they head off to work.

A few days later, Jim comes strutting in, grinning, and walks straight over to Todd.<...

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