Why did the flight of mi-24s get confused when a bee flew into the lead helicopter?

Because the lead helicopter is now beehind.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Considering it's history, West Virginia is mis-named

they should've called it "Left Virginia".

I wanted to make a post with a joke about musical notes. I first attempted to use Do or Mi, but in the end I went with

a Re post.

So a politician dies...

And ends up standing in front of the pearly gates. Saint Peter looks at him for a second, flicks through his book, and finds his name.

‟So, you’re a politician...”
‟Well, yes, is that a problem?”
‟Oh no, no problem. But we have recently adopted a new system for people in your line of wo...

The Ohio and Michigan Institute of Lions and Tigers and Bears.

OH,MI.

After a misunderstanding, a suburban Vietnamese bakery tried to Ban Mi

I said let's just let Saigons be Saigons.

What do cats in china say?

Mi Hao!

What do you say to a cow that does somewhat decent on an exam?

Medium well done.

Side joke: It made very few mis steaks

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Last week, an asteroid named 2019 OK passed close to Earth at a speed of 88,500 kilometres (55,000 mi) per hour.

Scientist say that if it had passed even closer its name would have been 2019 OFUCK.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Hello! Mr. Hussein?

Saddam Hussein was sitting in his office wondering who to invade next when his telephone rang.

"Hallo! Mr. Hussein," a heavily accented voice said. "This is Paddy up in County Cavan, Ireland. I am ringing to inform you that we are officially declaring war on you!"

"Well, Paddy," Sadd...

What did the cheese say to when it saw itself in the mirror?

Hallou mi

A college student writes a letter to his parents back home.

Dear Mom and Dad,

$chool i$ really great. I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard. My profe$$or$ are al$o $uper cool! With all my $tuff, I $imply can't think of anything I need, $o if you would like, you can ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you. Mi$$ you guy$!
<...

It looks like this election won't end with a bang

But with a WI/MI/PA

The Post Office has been mis-delivering mails lately...

...this issue has to be seriously addressed.

My wife said she is leaving me because I always mis-quote the Terminator films.

She'll be back.

Mi amigo Jesus is a great work out partner but...

He just won't shut up about how he invented *Cross-Fit*

What did Yoda say when he moved to Menominee?

Now in U.P. MI !

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a peanut butter jelly sandwich in Flint MI?

Pb and j

I was mis-sold a house.

The wife was so upset she didn't even let me keep the saddle.

What's a Canadians favourite alcoholic beverage?

A mi-moose-a!

Why did all the residents of Flint, MI switch from the hip hop station to the classic rock radio station?

They wanted to get the lead out.

A Mexican is strolling down the street in Mexico City and kicks a bottle lying in the street.

Suddenly out of the bottle comes a Genie. The Mexican is stunned and
the Genie says, "Hello master, I will grant you one wish; anything
you want."

The Mexican begins thinking, "Well, I really like drinking tequila."
Finally the Mexican says, "I wish to drink tequila whenever I want,<...

What did Yoda say when he saw himself in 4K?

“Why does Reddit keep making the same joke about MI accent?”

Why wasn't I allowed in the Vietnamese Restaurant?

Because they "Banh"ed Mi

how does a chinese cat say hello

mi how

TIFU by mis-targeting my torpedo

Whoops, wrong sub.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Les Mis Joke (from r/Lesmiserables Joke by u/shepy66

Ok, so there were these two guys at a high school, a really weird, lame, goth kid from France, and a really popular rich kid named John. Nobody actually new the French kid's name, but he was strange enough for people to make up their own. Creep, Emo, Lame-ass, Weirdo, and plenty of other (and much w...

A lady came into work today.

And she purchased an energy drink and a pie.

I said “so just the drink and the mince and cheese pie?”

She said “no, actually it’s a steak and cheese pie.”

And to that I said “oh sorry, my misSteak and cheese”

My mis STEAK... and cheese.

I’m telling everyone

The Bacon Tree

Two Mexicans are stuck in the desert after crossing into the United States , wandering aimlessly and starving. They are about to just lie down and wait for death, when all of a sudden Luis says.........

"Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell. Ees bacon, I theenk."

"Si, Luis, eet sure sme...

Why did the bee get punished?

Because it mis-bee-hived.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My turn to translate a joke (from french)

So the school inspector enters a spanish course, and takes a sit in the back of the room, next to little Johnny.

The class begins, and the spanish teacher asks :
“Who can translate this sentence?” and writes the sentence on the board : “Mi perro es moreno”

Only little Johnny is rais...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A woman tried to stab her husband's penis but missed and stabbed his thigh. She was later charged with…

…a mis-da-weiner

An innocent man was killed by a vampire hunter.

It was a terrible mistake.

How do chinese cats say hello?

Mi Yao
[this is my first post here be nice pls]

It could happen

Ah Mis’sippi Highway Patrol trooper pulled a car over on Hwy 82 about 2 miles east of tha’ River Bridge at Greenville ‘bout 4:00 yesterday afternoon.

When the trooper asked the driver why he was speeding, the driver said he was ah Magician and ah Juggler and he was on his way to Columbus, Mis...

What did the Italian Dictator say to those dang Allies?

Get off Mi-Lan!

I used to date an opera singer, but it didn't work out.

She was all mi, mi, mi.

What a jamaican reccomends for a healthy diet

Everybaddi needs to eat a three fruits a day maan, an mi hav a way to learn while dem doin dat yaknow? Ya kyan always remember to eat dem fruits by remembering di presidents maan.





George Bush? Im be a banana man.





Barack Obama? Im apple.



<...

How do start a rave in Ethiopia?

Staple a piece of toast to the ceiling.

My wife doesn't like the term "handjob",

so, I just call it Mis-handling!

What do you call it when you have a problem with beef?

A mis-STEAK.

(Submitted by my 10 year old.)

It’s not fa la la la la, la la la la.

It’s la la la la sol, fa mi re do.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two men and a wheel of cheese

Two men and a wheel of cheese (Long)

*** This joke is better said than read, but imagine the accents and it’s funny as heck (I think at least...)

A Mexican man is down on how luck. His hours were cut at work so he is having trouble making ends meet. Because he’s a man of faith, he de...

Found this in my timeline...

I was fed up with being burgled every other day in my neighbourhood. So, I tore out my alarm system & de-registered from our local Neighbourhood Watch.
I've planted a Pakistani flag in each corner of my front garden and a large Black Flag of ISIL in its centre.
Now,the Yorkshire police, th...

Knock knock!

Who's there?

That's me!

Who's me?

My cousin, I'm Hu?

No, who are you?

Yes I am Hu, who is me.

I thought your cousin was me?

No you are you, I am Hu and my cousin is Mi!

Look just leave the Chinese food on the doorstep and leave!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A British Jew is waiting to be knighted.

He is to kneel before the Queen and recite a sentence in Latin as she taps him on the shoulders with her sword. However, in the excitement of the moment, he panics and forgets the Latin phrase. Thinking fast, he recites the only other foreign phrase that comes to mind, which comes from the Passover ...

What’s a selfish person’s favourite musical note?

Mi

I was making too many puns in r/sandwiches...

the mods had to banh mi

Why was the greek god arrested?

cuz it committed a misDEMETER

Did you know that Do and Re are being taken off the Solfège scale?

Mi either.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A night of drunken sex cost the Chinese man his relationship.

He woke up and realised: it's not Yu, it's Mi.

Teacher: Simon, can you say your name backwards?

Simon replies: “No Mis”

The waiter gave me a ribeye that I didn’t order

It was a mis-steak

What do you call it when a couple think that smoking while pregnant doesn’t harm the baby?

A mis-conception

What kind of food should you order while in r/Pyongyang?

The banh mi

I keep ordering things that aren’t on the menu at this Vietnamese Sandwich Shop...

The lady behind the counter said: “If you keep doing that you’re gonna get in trouble!”

I replied: “Whadya gonna do...Bahn Mi?!”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Man Who Loves His Wife... [NSFW]

A man who loves his wife decides one day to get a tattoo to commemorate their love.

He decided to get a tattoo on his penis of his wife's name, Wendy. So he goes down to the tattoo parlor and gets a big WENDY in all capitol letters down the length of his shaft. He goes home, and his wife love...

What do you call the shareholders of a bankrupt company?

MiStake Holders.



(It's bad I know)

I was browsing a Vietnamese sub the other day...

The mods tried to kick me out, but I said "You can't Bahn mi!"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What did the Japanese person say when the Mexican asked to borrow his umbrella?

Mi kasa es tu kasa

A man and a priest are playing golf.

The man hits the ball but it goes wide, landing far away from the hole. "Damnit, missed!" he shouts angrily. The priest turns to him and says, "if you swear like that, one day god will strike you down"!

The mab ignores him and tries for another shot. Once again he misses and once again he sho...

A student writes her parent's, "Deare$t Mom and Dad,

college i$ going well. I am making many friend$ and learning lot$. But $omething i$ mi$$ing, I ju$t wi$h I knew what it wa$. Anyway$, be$t wi$hes and I'll talk to you again $oon.

Her parents respond,

Dearest Daughter,
NOthing makes us happier than kNOwing you're doing well. We NOtic...

I just failed my butcher's exam.

Mis-steaks were made.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A mercurial rocker hands out backstage passes...

A mercurial rocker of a popular band was known to give out many backstage passes. Now this happens all the time in the music industry; however this rocker always handed out the same pass to many women, and never changed it. The pass was for Tulsa OK, and he'd give out the large TULSA backstage pas...

My favorite Halloween Joke

Two Vampire Hunters entered a cemetery looking for their prey. As night fell, they found a tombstone covered in blood, black as night and decorated with a bat motif. They began excavating it, getting to the coffin just as the last rays of the sun began to disappear.

With no time to open it, ...

Why is it hard to have Opera singers as friends?

...it's aways about "mi mi mi".

What's DoodleBob's favourite drink?

Mi hoy LaCroix

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Alessandro was all excited to emigrate to America from Italy

But just few days later he was back in his home town. His friends asked him “Alessandro wha happen?”
Alessandro said “Well I landa in New York and its a too cold. I say America land of the free, I go anywhere do anything. I taka the train to Florida. On the train, I smoka cigarette. The conducta ...

The bacon tree.

Juan and Carlos have been stranded in the desert for 2 days. They are on the verge on dying of thirst when Juan sees something in the distance.

He gets closer to confirm his suspicions - off in the distance is an incredibly juicy bacon tree. "Mira!!" (Look!) "Carlos! Up ahead, it's a bacon t...

What did the cell say when his sister stepped on his toe?

Mi to sis

What is a Vietnamese sandwich maker’s favorite pick up line?

Banh mi.

What do you call a cow that accidentally wanders into a slaughterhouse?

A mis-steak.

I don't always misbehave in Vietmamese restaurants, but when I do I'm always afraid they're going to...

Bahn Mi

What did you call beef that didn't make the cut

a miSTEAK

The Voice Coach

Voice Coach: "Let's start with a scale."

Student: "Do, re, muuuhh, fa, so, la, ti, doooh!"

Voice Coach: "Whoa, whoa, whoa! Don't take that tone with mi!"

Vasectomy misunderstanding

She told me I mis heard the doctor, Apparently it doesn't stop your wife getting pregnant, just affects the colour of the baby.

If I keep making all these Pho-related puns...

...eventually they're gonna bahn mi.

In honour of St Patrick's day, can you guess my Irish name?

Pat MiGroin.

Yeah, my grandpa just told me that one...some visual images cannot be unseen.

My grandfather passed away early this morning. To commemerate him, here is a favorite joke of his

A man and woman were on their honeymoon after a quick courtship. They met, fell, and love, and were quickly married. On their honeymoon, they decide to go for a horse ride through the beautiful mountain passes of Europe. As the horses were crossing a small stream, the wifes's horse mis-steps and jo...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

First day of class at Hogwarts

A group of first-year students walked into a classroom at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. The professor, Febuina Pell, was young for her profession and had never married, but was well respected and had written the very textbook to be used in the class. One of the students, a muggle-born ...

What did the Jamaican watermelon say to the sprinkler?

Ayy brutha, water mi lawn

to my friend who was cooking steaks for the first time:

you can either make steaks or mis-steaks.

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.