Knocked Out Jokes - 21 Hilarious Knocked Out Jokes

Before my surgery today, the anesthesiologist asked if I'd like to be knocked out with gas or he could just hit me over the head with a canoe paddle. So I guess it was...

...an ether/oar situation.

A man walks into a bar and is immediately knocked out

It’s a metal bar

Novak Djokovic choked and was knocked out of the Australian Open.

He missed two easy shots.

I got knocked out while vacationing in Russia

All I remember was seeing Tsars.

John Cena gets knocked out during a wrestling match

3 hours later he wakes up in a hospital

John: (slowly) Where am I?

Nurse: I. C. U

John: No you can't!!

I got knocked out by a dyslexic boxer

We can't let Germany get knocked out of the world cup...

Last time it happened was in 1938 and to say they took it badly is a bit of an understatement.

A priest was knocked out on the way to church

He was quickly rushed to the hospital straight after. Whilst he was being wheeled through the hospital he thankfully woke up and asked one of the nurses “Am I in heaven?”
The nurse replied “No, father, you’re in the children’s ward”

Two hunters were walking through the forest one day. Suddenly, one of them is knocked out.

The other hunter panics and calls 911. The emergency responder says “911, whats your emergency?” The hunter replies “My friend just passed out and I don’t know what to do! I think he could be dead!” The emergency responder replies “OK, first, make sure he is dead.” The phone goes silent and the resp...

I'm afraid to tell my mom I accidentally knocked out some of my teeth and swallowed them...

It's really chewing me up inside.

Two facts interesting facts about me: 1) I once knocked out a champion boxer with a single punch

2) I'm now banned from Crufts.

I once knocked out a Champion Boxer...

I'm still banned from Crufts.

The Polish Cruise

A Polish guy is walking down the street in Chicago when he sees a sign outside a bar: "Polish Special: Dinner and a Cruise, $3.00!" So the guy walks in. Immediately he is hit in the head and knocked out.

When he wakes up, he's floating in Lake Michigan in a barrel with an apple in his lap. He...

Houdini has just finished a magic show and walks backstage, only to be grabbed roughly, knocked out, and tied up.

When he wakes up, he's in an abandoned warehouse, and a man in a ski mask is standing over him, a sheep by his side. The sheep is using its teeth to tie him up with a very strong rope, which confuses him. Houdini smiles, remembering that he can get out of any knot known to man. He tries to untie the...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

During a military assault by Hun, Mulan’s company suffered a bombardment and she was knocked out.

When she wakes up, the doctor tells her: “I have bad news for you, buddy.”

Fears that her true identity has been found out, she nervously asked the doctor what is it.

“I just checked your injuries and, well your dick is gone.”

Did you hear about that guy who got knocked out by a porch?

He was decked!

When I was a kid, I knocked out the power in my house.

Mom said it was just a phase.

I remember when I finally knocked out the school bully. I thought I'd be an instant hero, but apparently...

...it's 'appalling behavior' for a parent.

Rhett saves Scarlett

One Sunday morning, Scarlett O'Hara, a devout catholic, is on her way to church services on her horse and buggy. A bee flies by and stings the horse on the nose. The horse rears up, bucks a few times, breaks loose from the reins and gallops down the lane. The buggy gets tossed and rolls over to the ...

I told my husband he should fight his demons

Thats all I remember before being knocked out

Who's the greatest boxer of all time?

Jim Jones, he knocked out 900 people with one punch.

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