What do you call an amputee learning karate?

Partial arts

A student at the karate convention asks a teacher where to stay.

They respond " At the Hyaaaatt ! "

What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.

I completed my karate exam with flying colors!

Black and blue that is.

What do you call karate kid with high-end guitar amp?

Marshall artist

A karate instructor was arrested after leaving the store

He was charged with chop lifting

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Asian guy walks into a bar

He sits down at the the bar and start drinking a beer. The guy next to him ask: you know kung fu or karate or any or this shit? The asian guy replies: why you ask this, is because I chinese? The other guy replies no it’s because you’re drinking my fucking beer.

Why did the Cupboard learn Karate?

for Shelf-Defense

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The Karate Kid was about masturbation....

Wax on, Wacks off.

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I know karate, judo, jujitsu...

And a few more Japanese words.

What do you call a rabbi who knows karate?

Jiu Jitsu

A Karate master teaches his students how to break a piece of wood

He points his finger to the center of the board and tells his students, "This is the punch line"

A blind man enters a bar and find his way to a barstool.

After ordering a drink, and sitting there for a while, the blind guy yells to the bartender, “Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?”

The bar immediately becomes absolutely quiet.

In a husky, deep voice,the woman next to him says, “Before you tell that joke, you should know something. The...

What do you call an amputee trying to do karate?

Partial Arts.

Edit: It's been pointed out that the grammatical construction of this joke could have been better. How about: "What is it called when an amputee does karate? Partial Arts.

Edit edit: best follow up question: What's an amputee's favourite karate weapon? Nub chucks.

A father decides to get his son karate lessons

They look around the dojo during practice hours and observe other students, with belts of various bright colours, sparing with eachother but notice a boy with only legs far away from other students training with a dummy on his own.

The father walks up to the karate teacher and asks him "How ...

My neighbor's son was constantly being beaten at school, so she put him on Karate Classes

Now he is beaten both at Karate and at school

What do you call a tree that does karate

Spruce Lee

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Did you hear the one about the giraffe who learned Karate?

He looked like a fucking idiot.

I advise you, don't mess with me, I know karate, kung fu, judo, tae kwon do, jujit su...

and other 28 dangerous words.

A young couple's house gets burgled, so they decide to get a guard dog...

The wife goes to a pet shop and tells the owner "I'd like to see the toughest guard dog you've got!"

The owner answers "I've got just the dog for you!". He presents to her to a tiny chihuahua called Roxy.

"Sure he's cute, but can he really guard a home?" she asks skeptically.

"L...

A Chinese man walks into a bar

A Chinese man walks into a bar and starts drinking a beer. The man next to him asks, "Do you know Kung Fu? Or Karate? Taekwondo? Any martial arts maybe?"

The Chinese man replies in disgust, "You think that just because I'm Chinese I know martial arts? That's racist!"

"Good, because yo...

I decided to teach karate to my neighbors kid

He was enthusiastic for the first two days but then quit before he could finish painting the fences

I beat a black belt at karate.

My next challenger is a green sock.

Did anybody hear about the karate champion who joined the army?

It was a disaster!

The first time he tried to salute, he nearly killed himself

I hear that if you draw a really good portrait of Jason Segel you will instantly be proficient in Karate, Taekwondo, and Jiu Jitsu

I think it has something to do with becoming a master Marshall artist

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Karate

is the ancient Japanese art of getting people to buy lots of belts.

There was a man who became the karate champion on Christmas Day...

So he decided to go by the name, "The Nutcracker."

What do you call a lawyer with a black belt in karate?

A self defense attorney!

Started teaching my son and his friends Karate...

I'm not qualified I just really enjoy kicking children.

Someone was handing out certificates for a free Karate Lesson at the mall yesterday

He told me I could only Taek Won Do

TIFU by joining the army when I'm already a karate champ

Nearly killed myself when I first saluted

My career as a karate instructor finally came to an end.

The parents found out I wasn't qualified and just enjoyed kicking children.

My wife says it's time I stop pretending to be The Karate Kid.

I had to put my foot down.

I've always been terrible at Karate, so my Sensei told me "Wax on, Wax off."

I'm now in burning pain, but my chest is *spotless.*

What does this have to do with Karate?

An old, blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake.

An old, blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake.

He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels.

After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender,

'Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?'

The bar immediately falls absolutely sil...

I used to think my Karate instructor was very wise.

However, yesterday my pregnant neighbour Mrs. Wong and her husband rushed to hospital.

When they came back today they had the baby with them so I figured I'd go say hi.

Strangest thing! The baby is Caucasian!

I couldn't believe my eyes, this whole time my instructor had been lyi...

Why do indie kids suck at karate?

They never got past the white belt.

What's the difference between Karate and Judo?

Karate is a martial art and Judo is used to make bagels.

Have you seen the new karate opera?

Critics are calling it sensei-tional.

So a young man comes to his first ever Karate lesson

He steps through the doors of the dojo and sees three groups being taught moves by an instructor

He is directed to the first line where one of the Sensei's is teaching them how to block a hit

The man quickly learns the move and advances to the second group, proud of his achievement
...

What do you get when you cross Michael Jackson with the Karate Kid?

Jacks on Jacks off

I was sitting at a bar last night and this Asian looking fella sits down next to me and takes a sip of beer.

I glance over at him and ask if he knows any of those martial arts like Kung fu, or Karate or Ju Jitsu. He says no, WTF man!? Are you asking because I’m Chinese?

I said no, it’s because you’re drinking my beer.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A man sitting at the Bar has been telling some of his favourite blonde jokes when just as he starts to tell another he is interrupted by a blonde lady.

She points to the table directly behind him and says "do you see those two blonde ladies? Well they are both professional UFC fighters and I myself am a black belt in karate.. are you sure you want to continue this joke?"
Fuck no the man says, I'm not explaining it three times.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Some guy knocked on my door wanting to tell me the great news about our Lord.

I said "fuck off, i dont beleave in of that shit."


As I tried to close the door in his face, he grabbed my arm and twisted it up my back slamming my face into the wall, then with a single rabbit punch broke 3 of my ribs, he then kung fu kicked my leg shattering the bone in three places.<...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Japanese Banking Crisis

Uncertainty has hit the Japanese banking industry.


In the past week, Origami bank has folded, Sumo bank has gone belly up and Bonsai bank announced plans to cut some of its branches.


Last week it was announced that Karaoke bank is up for sale and will likely go for a song w...

Karate chop

A huge guy walks into a bar, approaches a little guy and karate chops him in the back. When the little guy gets up, the huge guy says, "That was a karate chop from Korea."

A little later, the huge guy walks back over to the little guy and karate chops him in the back. The huge guy says, "That...

Game Show

Some folks see me as a know-it-all. I'm not, but I have a reasonable memory, and it got me on a game show, once.

The television game show was being recorded - they do a whole week at a time, and this was the wrap-up. I was in the hot seat for the last big question.

The host turned to m...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Life is difficult for a newly-wed couple as their house is frequently broken into by thieves.

They decide to get a guard dog to scare the thieves off, so her wife goes to the pet shop and buys the meanest looking dog. They sleep that night knowing that they're safe and are shocked by what they see in the morning. The thieves have done it again, and the dog has been sleeping like a baby ever ...

One day, a bus driver went to the bus garage, started his bus, and drove off along the route.

No problems for the first few stops-a few people got on, a few got off, and things went generally well.

At the next stop, however, a big hulk of a guy got on.
Six feet height, built like a wrestler, arms hanging down to the ground.
He glared at the driver and said, "Big John doesn't n...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A very drunk patron at a bar is trying to impress everyone with his fighting ability.

"I am trained in every hand-to-hand combat there is," he says. To further prove his point, he walks up to Boudreaux, who happened to be in the bar, and whops him behind the neck! "Karate chop from China," he says.

Poor Boudreaux gets up off the floor and sits back in his seat, saying nothing....

A blind man walked into a bar one night...

. One of the patrons at the bar saw him and helped him get to a barstool and get a drink. After a few minutes, the blind man leaned over to his new friend and said, "I just heard the world's best blonde joke. Would you like to hear it?"

The other man said, "Friend, before you say another word...

A student is failing an exam, so he decides to make a bet with the proffesor

He walks up and says: "lets bet on a 'C' that I can break your desk with one hit using my left hand". The proffesor says: "There's no way, lets bet". The student swings his left and and karate chops the desk in half.
Then he says:"Wanna bet on an 'B' that I can hit my head through this chalk boa...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

There was this little guy sitting in a bar

There was this little guy sitting in a bar, drinking his beer, minding his own business when all of a sudden this great big dude comes in and -- WHACK!! -- knocks him off the bar stool and onto the floor. The big dude says, "That was a karate chop from Korea."
The little guy thinks "GEEZ,"...

Master list of dad jokes

Why shouldn’t you give Elsa a balloon? Because she’ll “Let It Go”!

What do you call cheese that’s not yours? Nacho cheese!

How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie in it

What do you get when a witch goes to the beach? A sand-witch!

Where do cows go on Friday ni...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A man is sitting at a bar when an Asian man walks in and sits next to him

Five minutes later the Asian man kicks the first man off his barstool

The first man looks at him and asks him why he did I that and the Asian man replies that's karate from Korea

Not wanting any trouble the man gets up and sits back down

Five minutes later the Asian man kicks th...

Bonzo The Martial Arts Dog

I once had a dog named "Bonzo" and he was really talented. One day, Bonzo and I went to find him a job, so we went to a martial arts studio. The owner looked at us and told us to get out. Bonzo looked unhappy, so I convinced the owner to allow us to give a demonstration. So the owner points at a...

A blind man walks into a bar and sits on a stool. He orders a drink and says "hey, wanna here a good blonde joke"...

The barmaid says "before you do, I should tell you my name is big Bertha, I'm the landlady and an ex wrestler and I'm a blonde. Two feet away is big Brenda, she's a karate teacher and could squish you flat in a second, she's also a blonde, and in the corner over there is big Belinda, she's a shot p...

With all these celebrities getting outed for molesting kids, it's only a matter of time before Jackie Chan is exposed.

Like, do you have any idea how many times he told Jaden Smith to jacket off in the karate kid?

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A Chinese guy comes into the pub, stands next to me and starts drinking.

I said to him "Do you know any of those martial arts like Kung-Fu, Ju-Jitsu or Karate?"

He says "Why da fuk you ask me dat, is it coz I Chinese?"

"No" I said, "It's because you're drinking my fucking beer!"

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Chuck Norris facts.

-In the average living room, there are 1,385 items Chuck Norris can use to kill you, including the room itself.
-Chuck Norris clogs the toilet when he takes a piss.
-When Bruce Banner gets angry, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets angry, he turns into Chuck Norris.
-If you rearrang...