UPJOKE
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I broke up with my video game console, now it's my ex-box

Nothing personal, it was just time for a switch

I'm working on a video game where you go back in time and kill Adam and Eve

it's going to be the first ever First Person Shooter.

Asked my French friend if he played any video games

He said "wii"

What's prince zukos favorite video game?

Dishonored

Why is great to have garbage men as my video game teammates?

They are used to carrying trash.

I'm planning on making an application that randomly closes the video game you are playing and opens a different one...

It's going to be a game changer....

My friend can’t decide what video game system to get for Christmas ...

... Nobody can console him.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Grandpa tells his grandson, "All you kids do these days is play video games."

"When I was your age", he continued, "my buddies and I went to Paris; we went to the Moulin Rouge and I fucked a dancer on stage, we didn't pay for our drinks all night and when the bartender complained we pissed on him”

The grandson thinks his grandfather is right. He goes to Paris and the M...

What is Will Smith's favorite mobile video game?

Slap Kings

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What video game would Adolf Hitler play?

Mein Kraft

What Do People and Video Game Consoles Have in Common?

No one can agree on which generation is the best.

Car rides and plane rides are just like video game loading screens if you think about it.

Most of the time they both take way too long.

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Sex is like a video game for me.

I usually just watch gameplay footage of it but never actually play it myself.

If life was a video game...

...Id return it right away

There’s no way video games cause violence.

If they did, school shootings would involve a LOT more tea bagging.

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I like my sex life like how I like my video games

Single player

If a male video game character squats on a downed opponent it's called "Tea Bagging" when a female character does it it's called...

"Clam Dipping"

What is Alabama's most popular video game?

Super Smash Brothers

Do you hear about the man who died playing an erotic video game?

He had his final fantasy.

If Beyblade’s were a video game the final boss would be

a garbage disposal

What is a video game art designer's favorite soft drink?

Sprite.

A kid is playing video games in his room, minding his own business. His mother walks in. "Honey, come meet my new boyfriend!" "I'm kind of busy right now. Can you bring him in here instead?"



A minute or so later, her boyfriend walks in. "Hey, champ! How you doing?"

The kid ignores him.

"Don't like champ, huh? That's fine. How about BlueDragon72?"

The kid turns his head quickly. "I haven't heard that name since I was ten..." He then realized. "It can't be.."<...

I Tried to walk out of my job at the Video game company

But in the end I couldn't get past the boss

what kind of video games do dogs like?

Anyone with a fetch quest

Me and my girlfriend split up because she said I thought about video games too much.

It’s such a stupid thing to Fallout 4.

If Reddit was a video game, it'd be really broken and unbalanced

Because everyone would be OP

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's does a penis and a video game have in common?

The more you play with it, the harder it gets.

What's Bernie Sanders' favorite video game?

Fire Emblem: Three Houses.

What is the favorite video game console of the french?

It's the "oui" (wii)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What are the main differences between weed, alcohol, pizza, vagina, an inexpensive car, candy, porn, video games, pointless arguments on the internet and a healthy workout routine?

Well it’s simple really. People that browse r/jokes can acquire weed, alcohol, pizza, an inexpensive car, candy, video games, and pointless arguments on the internet !

TIL the movie Starship Troopers was never adapted into a successful video game because...

...bugs.

Hey, have you heard of the person who got dumped over playing too much video games?

That's such a trivial thing to Fallout 4.

My life was ruined by my obsession with video games.

Fortunately, I had another two lives.

What video game system do police officers play in their cars?

Wii U, Wii U, Wii U...

Video games never made me angry or want to hurt people.

Working in customer service already did that.

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I always use incognito mode when looking at porn and video game walkthroughs.

I don't want my wife to think I'm a cheater.

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Ever heard about the guy who had a fetish for broken buttons on video game controllers?

He got off to a bad start.

What does a communist say after they rage quit a video game?

I don’t know either, but they’ll probably be uninStalin the game.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Caught a young boy stealing a video game from a video shop.

I said, "Little fella, if I was your dad, I wouldn't be best pleased."

"Why's that, fuck face? Never witnessed a crime before?" he blurted out, surprisingly.

I said, "It's not that. You're just not very handsome."

Video game are cool because they let you experience fantasies.

For example, in the Sims, you have a job and a house

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Ok r/askreddit if you had to give up video games or blow jobs for the rest of your life what would you choose?

Edit: Yea guys I'd pick blow jobs too, they hurt my jaw

Death Stranding is not a video game...

it's a Hideo game

I hate when people blame video games for mass shooting

Like what am I gonna do shoot up the school with a copy of doom

Why did the pirate not like the old video game with a liberal-leaning political message?

It was hard to port

One day TV is broadcasting about a gun shot in campus and the experts analyze that it is linked to the murder's massive time in playing violence video game.

Mum: No sense, my son is always playing dating sims and he still unable to find a girlfriend.

My roommate was playing a video game last night and when he died he completely smashed his keyboard...

yeah, he definitely lost Control.

I think video games like Call of Duty set a terrible example for children.

There's no lag when you shoot someone in real life.

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Things I've learned from video games

My mother has been fucked to death many times.

I'm really a cigarette in disguise.

I'm also actually of African descent, my father will be very upset to find that one out. Though my real father is probably one of those random people who fucked her to death.

A lot of people are m...

What is Donald Trump's favorite video game?

*Papers, Please*

If your mother was a video game she would be rated E

Because she has a great personality and I can't imagine anyone not wanting to be friends with her.

What do online video games and sonnets have in common?

Both end in a GG.

Playing a childhood video game to relive old memories is like hooking up with your EX...

Seems fun at first, but then you remember why you stopped in the first place.

My girlfriend texted me that the relationship cannot continue because I played too much video games.

Looks like it was my Destiny 2 break up with her.

What’s a pirates favorite video game?

**DDRRR**

No it’s not 2004 and I’ll see myself out.

Heard that Backstreet Boys is getting a video game for them on the PC.

Definitely not going to be released on Xbox and PlayStation though as it is inconsolable.

TIL that in most video games it's better to lose your health during the summer and winter seasons

Because that way you don't have to worry about Fall damage

A video game character walks into a health bar...

... and he remarks "that's the fourth wall I've walked into today!"

I played a cool video game with some really hammered dudes,

We were Super Smashed Bros.

Did you hear about the new Christian online video game?

It's pretty good, but it's pray2win.

I just got my best score on the new Indian video game "Sitar Hero 3"!!!

I got five stars on "Curry on My Wayward Son"

Call of Duty is the most environmentally friendly video game franchise.

... because each game is made from 90% recycled material.

Why wouldn't a "Fight Club" video game sell well?

The marketing would be nonexistent.

What would a video game about an abortion nurse be called?

Womb raider

At first I wanted to break up with my girlfriend because she didn’t like to play video games...

It wasn’t really something to Fallout 4.

Life is like a video game

Most of us play on easy difficulty, some on medium, then there is Africa playing on hardcore.

Kenny Rogers was a video game purist who insisted on teaching his kids the correct way to play.

He said, "if you're gonna play the Gameboy, you gotta learn to play it right."

What is Kim Jong Un’s favorite video game?

Rocket League

Why do men with prostate issues have issues stealing video game systems?

Because they have trouble taking a Wii.

Next time you get mad at lag in a video game just remember...

It took Jesus 3 days to respawn.

When Greek people play a video game, what settings do they use?

Default

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why is EA the most hated video game company in America?

Because Konami is in Japan

EA just acquired a new video game license...

Fallout

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