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Video Game Jokes

I was playing video games last night while my son was sitting next to me watching. He said, "dad I wish real life was more like video games."

So I locked him in his room and told him if he wants access to the rest of the house he will have to pay .99 for the DLC.

Video games never made me angry or want to hurt people.

Working in customer service already did that.

I'm working on a video game where you go back in time and kill Adam and Eve

it's going to be the first ever First Person Shooter.

A kid is playing video games in his room, minding his business.

His mother walks in. "Honey, come meet my new boyfriend!"

"I'm kind of busy right now. Can you bring him in here instead?"

A minute or so later, her boyfriend walks in. "Hey, champ! How you doing?"

The kid ignores him.

"Don't like champ, huh? That's fine. How about BlueDr...

Video games are great, they let you try your craziest fantasies

For example, on the sims, you can have a job and a house

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Grandpa tells his grandson, "All you kids do these days is play video games."

"When I was your age", he continued, "my buddies and I went to Paris; we went to the Moulin Rouge and I fucked a dancer on stage, we didn't pay for our drinks all night and when the bartender complained we pissed on him”

The grandson thinks his grandfather is right. He goes to Paris and the M...

If Cersei Lannister was a video game,

She'd be Smash Bros.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I like my sex life like how I like my video games

Single player

My girlfriend texted me that the relationship cannot continue because I played too much video games.

Looks like it was my Destiny 2 break up with her.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Sex is like a video game for me.

I usually just watch gameplay footage of it but never actually play it myself.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What video game would Adolf Hitler play?

Mein Kraft.

My girlfriend just broke up with me for talking about video games too much...

What a stupid thing to Fallout 4.

I'm planning on making an application that randomly closes the video game you are playing and opens a different one...

It's going to be a game changer....

What is Owen Willsons favorite video game?

WoW

What's Han Solo's favorite type of video game?

First person shooter.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Which character is the gayest video game character of all time?

Pacman — who eats 200 balls each game.

TIL the movie Starship Troopers was never adapted into a successful video game because...

...bugs.

What video game system do police officers play in their cars?

Wii U, Wii U, Wii U...

What is a video game art designer's favorite soft drink?

Sprite.

Did you hear about that new video game where you play a baker who's addicted to drugs?

It's called "Knead for Speed".

Concerned that his son was spending too much time on video games, a dad told him, “When Abe Lincoln was your age, he was studying books by the light of the fireplace.”

“Oh yeah?” the son retorts. “Well, when Abe Lincoln was your age, he was President of the United States.”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I always use incognito mode when looking at porn and video game walkthroughs.

I don't want my wife to think I'm a cheater.

If a male video game character squats on a downed opponent it's called "Tea Bagging" when a female character does it it's called...

"Clam Dipping"

What does Senator Lindsey Graham, Upcoming Game of Thrones Book "Dream of Spring" and Video Game Star Citizen have in common?

None of them are ever coming out!





You're welcome

What do you call a video of an emo, appearing in a video game??

A cut scene.

I asked a Frenchman if he played video games

He said ‘Wii’

How do amputees win video games?

Single-handedly

Dating in 2020's is like video games lootboxs

You don't know what you are getting unless you pay enough money and discover later on

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What’s a cat’s favorite part of a video game?

The PAWS button!

If Reddit was a video game, it'd be really broken and unbalanced

Because everyone would be OP

What Do People and Video Game Consoles Have in Common?

No one can agree on which generation is the best.

If Beyblade’s were a video game the final boss would be

a garbage disposal

What is Will Smith's favorite mobile video game?

Slap Kings

Why does Jesus hates playing video games?

Because it takes him three days to respawn.

What do you call someone who's on top of everything when it comes to news, technology, video games, nsfw, and everything else?

an Apex redditor

I Tried to walk out of my job at the Video game company

But in the end I couldn't get past the boss

I love video games with a female protagonist.

It's a breath of fresh air when you're married to a female antagonist.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My favorite burn I've gotten for being trans

I was born female and transitioned to male. Early on in my transition, my gf and I were playing a video game, and I called her a noob when she died.

Her: Yeah okay Pinocchio.

Me: Pinocchio?

Her: You know... "I want to be a real boy!"

Edit: thanks for all the support and a...

Why is everyone criticising EA?

I've only ever known EA as an excellent video game company and pioneer of the early home computer games industry. EA has always had my enjoyment as their primary concern and their community involvement is phenomenal.

($50 has been deposited into your Paypal account, remember to delete this pa...

Video game testing is like prostitution

Somedays it can be great and just like the real thing, but most days it's a huge pain in the ass

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's does a penis and a video game have in common?

The more you play with it, the harder it gets.

Death Stranding is not a video game...

it's a Hideo game

what kind of video games do dogs like?

Anyone with a fetch quest

My 12 year old just told me a joke

He said “I’ve been trying to cut down the amount of video games I play, I’m only playing for 30 minutes before I go to bed. Last night I went to bed 8 times.”

Why do garbagemen make great video game teammates?

Because they're used to carrying trash

What does a communist say after they rage quit a video game?

I don’t know either, but they’ll probably be uninStalin the game.

The government swore to shut down Fortnite due to claims of the video game aggravating children and teens worldwide.

Two weeks later, Fortnight was finished.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Caught a young boy stealing a video game from a video shop.

I said, "Little fella, if I was your dad, I wouldn't be best pleased."

"Why's that, fuck face? Never witnessed a crime before?" he blurted out, surprisingly.

I said, "It's not that. You're just not very handsome."

My roommate was playing a video game last night and when he died he completely smashed his keyboard...

yeah, he definitely lost Control.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Things I've learned from video games

My mother has been fucked to death many times.

I'm really a cigarette in disguise.

I'm also actually of African descent, my father will be very upset to find that one out. Though my real father is probably one of those random people who fucked her to death.

A lot of people are m...

Why are you always watching other people play video games on Twitch son? Sounds boring.

Anyway, gotta catch the football game on TV.

My friend is kind of upset about which video game system to get.

Nobody can console him.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Interactive joke

There was a man who lived in a 3 story house. **Remember: 3 stories.**

The man entered the house and saw his wife making an omelette. He told her "You're supposed to use butter, not oil." Immediately the wife slapped him and said "Who's cooking? Me or or you?"

The man went up to the se...

Why can’t they make a bowling video game?

Because they couldn’t measure it in frames per second.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Ever heard about the guy who had a fetish for broken buttons on video game controllers?

He got off to a bad start.

Call of Duty is the most environmentally friendly video game franchise.

... because each game is made from 90% recycled material.

Why did the pirate not like the old video game with a liberal-leaning political message?

It was hard to port

What is Donald Trump's favorite video game?

*Papers, Please*

Did you hear about the new Christian online video game?

It's pretty good, but it's pray2win.

Playing a childhood video game to relive old memories is like hooking up with your EX...

Seems fun at first, but then you remember why you stopped in the first place.

What’s a pirates favorite video game?

**DDRRR**

No it’s not 2004 and I’ll see myself out.

If your mother was a video game she would be rated E

Because she has a great personality and I can't imagine anyone not wanting to be friends with her.

Heard that Backstreet Boys is getting a video game for them on the PC.

Definitely not going to be released on Xbox and PlayStation though as it is inconsolable.

I played a cool video game with some really hammered dudes,

We were Super Smashed Bros.

A video game character walks into a health bar...

... and he remarks "that's the fourth wall I've walked into today!"

Why wouldn't a "Fight Club" video game sell well?

The marketing would be nonexistent.

Video Games need to start thinking outside the box when it comes to in-game character names...

I'm getting real sick and tired of always protecting some girl named Ally.

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