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Interviews Jokes

Why did Dracula always fail job interviews?

He could never answer, "Where do you see yourself in five years?"

During interviews he seems like such a nice guy, but the actor who plays Wolverine is a real phoney

It’s a huge act, man..

JOB OPPORTUNITY: Riot police officers needed. Interviews are being held tomorrow. Come early....

....beat the crowd.

Why did Leonardo DiCaprio stop doing interviews for the movie Titanic?

Because it turned 25 last year.

A businessman interviews a mathematician, an accountant, and an economist for a job

A businessman interviews a mathematician, an accountant, and an economist for a job. He asks them, “What is 2 + 2?”

The mathematician answers, “Exactly 4.”

The accountant replies, “Depending on what your interest, depreciation, and taxes are, approximately 2.”

The economist wa...

I don't get why money is such a taboo in job interviews.

It would be much easier if they just accepted my bribe.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A reporter interviews a man in the scottish hinterlands

to find out about his best life experiences.

He asks him: "What was the greatest experience in your life so far?"

Guy: "One time one of our sheep got lost in the woods. So the whole village went out and searched for it. And when we found it, everyone took turns and had sex with it. It ...

A reporter interviews a monk who's 130 years old

Reporter : According to the Guinness world record book you are the oldest living person in the world right now. What is your secret?
Monk : Well, for starters I don't argue with idiots.
Reporter : No way!
Monk : No way.

A reporter interviews a 2000-year-old man

Reporter: “is it true you had over nine hundred wives in your life?”

2000 y/o Man: “Indeed”

Reporter: “out of all your wives, which one was your favorite?”

2000 y/o Man: “Hmmm… Shirley. Definitely Shirley.”

Reporter: “And what made Shirley so special?”

2000 y/o Man...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A war veteran interviews for a job...

A war veteran goes to a job interview at a factory. Browsing over the vet's resume, the manager of the factory seems impressed.
"I have one question" he asks. "Do you have any disabilities that will prevent you from completing your work?"

"Well, I had both of my testicles blown off in Nam...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Intern Interviews Three Psychiatric Residents

Psych intern is taken to the first of three patient rooms.

Patient is wearing a baseball cap and swinging an imaginary baseball bat.

I: How long do you think you'll be here?

P: Oh, as soon as I hit this home run, I'm outta here!

I: (Makes notes)

Intern is then tak...

A reporter interviews a farmer

A reporter is interviewing a farmer as a segment for her local news station. The interview goes like this:

"So tell me about these cows, what do these cows eat?"
"which one, the black one or the brown one?"
"the black one"
"that one eats grass"
"okay, what about the brown one?"...

A reporter interviews a sheep farmer.

They are standing next to a large meadow where lots of black and white sheep are being pastured.

"So how much grass do the sheep eat every day?" asks the reporter.

"Do you mean black or white sheep?" asks he farmer.

"Okay, let's say black."

"Oh, they eat about ten pounds ...

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