Two mathematicians were having lunch at a diner and got into a rousing discussion about the state of mathematics education in the US.

The first mathematician insisted that the general American populace was woefully inadequate when it came to understanding even basic math, while the second felt the average person knew more than they were given credit. They made a friendly wager and agreed that the next time their waitress came by, ...

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How many redittors does it take to change a lightbulb?

1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed.

14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently.

7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs.

17 purists who use candles and...

An officer and a lawyer were having a discussion in court.

Lawyer: "A woman shot her husband because he stepped on her freshly mopped floor."

Officer: "That is correct."

Lawyer: "Officer, can you explain why it took you 20 minutes to arrest the woman once you got there?"

Officer: "The floor was still wet."

Trump and Thanos are a bar discussing their plans.

They are having a heated discussion when Putin comes in and asks what they are talking about.

Trump : we are going to decimate half the population including Keanu Reaves.

Putin : why Keanau Reaves?

Thanos : see..I told you nobody will care if half the population disappears?
...

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A family councilor was having a group discussion with several parents and their children.

Councilor: You, parents, have named your kids after something you greatly value.

Parent 1: Oh, so I named my daughter Shelby because I like cars?

Councilor: Yes, that's the right idea.

Parent 2: And I named my girl Ruby because I love jewelry!

Councilor: That's correct....

During a discussion at Sunday school, a nun asks the children what they think God takes you by when you die.

A kid responds, "I think God takes you by your feet, because once I walked into my parents room and my mom's feet were in the air and she was screaming, "Oh God, I'm coming!!!"

My wife and I have ,after a long discussion, decided we don't want children.

We're telling them tomorrow.

After a romantic dinner, a couple cuddled up for some discussion

Husband: Am I the only one you've been with?
Wife: Yeah, the rest were eight or nine

Three bulls heard that the rancher was going to bring another bull onto the ranch, and the prospect raised a discussion among them.

The first bull says, “Boys, we all know I’ve been here 5 years. Once we settled our differences, we agreed on which 100 of the cows would be mine. Now, I don’t know where this newcomer is going to get HIS cows, but I ain’t’ givin’ him any of mine.”

The second bull says, “That pretty much says...

An imam, a priest and a rabbi are having a discussion about what they do with the money they receive from worshippers.

The priest explains his process: « the way I do things is very simple. First, I take a big piece of chalk and draw a circle around myself. After that I take the money in my hands, throw it up in the air and what falls inside the circle is for me while all the money that falls outside is for the Lor...

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A big trip to the mountains with married women and their mothers-in-law was organized. They would go there by separate busses (the women in one bus and the mothers-in-law in another).

During the trip to the mountains, the bus carrying the mothers-in-law had a flat tire. Suddenly the bus driver lost control and the bus fell off the mountain, at least a couple thousand meters downhill. No chance anyone in that bus survived it. Obviously all of the women started cheering up, startin...

Trump is visiting a class in an elementary school where they are talking about words and meanings

The teacher asks Trump if he would like to lead the class in a discussion of the word “tragedy”.

So he asks the class for an example of a tragedy. One little boy stands up and offers, “if my best friend who lives on a farm is playing in a field and a runaway tractor comes along and knocks him...

A politician dies...

And ends up standing in front of the pearly gates. Saint Peter looks at him for a second, flicks through his book, and finds his name.

"So, you're a politician..." "Well, yes, is that a problem?" "Oh no, no problem. But we've recently adopted a new system for people in your line of work, and ...

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A couple are down on their luck and are in desperate need for some money.

A couple are down on their luck and are in desperate need for some money. After a long discussion, the couple both decide that the wife should go into prostitution. So the next night husband drops his wife at a street corner and drives off. Just before sunrise the husband drives back to pick up his ...

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Kim Jong-un has unfortunately died and the North Korean subordinates gathered for a serious meeting.

After hours of discussion, they decided it'd be best to replace him with a look alike to fool the foreign leaders. A Kim Jong-un look alike contest was organised and the winner was to be selected to rule Korea.

Fliers and posters of the contest was all over North Korea and a majority of the...

My friend and I have discussions on palindromes.

We go back and forth on it.

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A Greek and an Indian are having tea together and trying to one up each other on their historical achievements.

The Greek guy says, "Well, we have the Parthenon".

Arching his eyebrows the Indian replies, "We have the Taj Mahal.”

The Greek retorts, "We Greeks gave birth to advanced mathematics."

The Indian, shaking his head, says, "But we invented the number 0.”

And so on and on th...

Women don't want men discussing business in the restroom...

...because they're not privy to the discussion.

THE BACK PEW

There was a preacher whose wife was expecting a baby so he went before
the congregation and asked for a raise. After much discussion, they
passed a rule that whenever the preacher's family expanded, so
would his paycheck.
After 6 children, this started to get expensive and the Congregati...

I just had a very serious discussion about hot dogs,

It was a frank discussion.

Reddit is supposed to be a place of open and honest discussion where every opinion counts.

If you don't agree, stay out of the comment section.

The UK tested switching to the dollar...

Many years ago, England was considering switching the Pound over to the dollar. As a test run to see how it would fare, they made a run of dollar coins that they distributed to the public.

Not wanting to get them confused with the one pound coins, they decided they would change the Queen's fa...

A supposed friend of mine and I were having a heated discussion about all this plastic waste we’re generating. I decided we couldn’t be friends anymore after he brought up straws.

I can’t be friends with someone who makes straw-ban arguments.

Bloke walks into a doctor’s waiting room and sits next to two African men who are deep in discussion.

The first one says to the other ‘It is pronounced wooom. ‘’W-O-O-O-M’’. Wooom’

The second one replies ‘No, no no. It has a ‘b’ sound at the end. More like woombah. ‘’W-O-O-M-B-A-H’’. Woombah.’

It goes back and forth like this, until the bloke steps in and says ‘Gentlemen, I think I can...

Safety critical software

I am a software engineer and I work on safety critical software (I design autonomous vehicles). I travel around the world, speaking at various software engineering conferences. I was recently invited to speak at the premier aviation conference in the world on the subject of writing safety critical s...

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