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Questioning Jokes

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If you're questioning your sexuality...

You probably aren't thinking straight.

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A farmer named Clyde had a car accident. In court, the trucking company's lawyer was questioning Clyde. "Didn't you say, at the moment of the accident, 'I'm fine.'" asked the lawyer?

Clyde responded, "Well, I'll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favorite mule, Bessie, into the..."
"I did not ask you for any details", the lawyer interrupted. "Just answer the question. Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine?'" Clyde said, "Well, I had just got Bessi...

A lawyer, Jones, is questioning his witness, Smith, during a murder trial.

Jones: Mr Smith, can you tell us what the deceased said before he died?

Smith: Yes, I can. He said...

Judge: Now hold on a minute. I'm not sure if it could be considered hearsay if I allowed Mr Smith to continue.



This led to a long argument between both lawyers and the j...

In Soviet Russia policeman questioning a man:

*This body is your mother in law, yes?*

**Yes**

*How did she die?*

**Mushroom poisoning**

*But why does she have 26 stab wounds?*

**She was refusing to eat them**

A man got brought to the police station for questioning

When the police asked if he had anything to say for himself he said, "I am the son of two world famous artists you can't do this to me” so the cops apologize and say "you are Frida Gogh”

The cops are questioning me about illegally downloading the entirety of Wikipedia.

I said, “I can explain everything.”

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I've been up all night questioning my sexuality.

I just couldn't go straight to bed.

A man leaving his apartment building runs into his female neighbor on the elevator.

"Good morning, what are you up to today?" he asks.


She replies, "I'm going down to give blood."


"How much do you get paid for giving blood?" he asks.


"About $20 a pint." she says.


"Hmm ...," the man, says. "I'm going up to donate sperm, and the spe...

The police have just released my mother-in-law after questioning her about the murder of her husband.

They only spoke to her for 2 minutes before coming to the conclusion he committed suicide.

What haircut does a Rastafarian ask for when he is questioning life?

Existential dreads

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A WW2 joke I heard recently

So, it’s 1941 and a young German boy is listening to the radio. On the radio Hitler announces that Germany is declaring war on the United States.

The boy asks, “Father, where is the United States?”

“Here, let me show you,” His father responds and points at a map of North America.
...

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What do you call a monkey questioning their sexuality

Bicurious george

FBI questioning a murder suspect

Q: When did you go to her house?

A: Never

Q: Where are you from?

A: Ghana

Q: Did you sell or give those to her?

A: Give

Q: Who did you contact first?

A: You

Q: Where did you go after you contacted us?

A: Up

A strict submarine captain is reassigned to a new submarine...

... after a few days of laying down new rules, enforcing them strictly, and allowing the crewmen nary a minute off, he saw derogatory posters about him taped around the craft.

Calling for his first officer, he said:
"First Officer, I demand that the submarine be scoured, and every one of t...

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A builder is brought in for questioning

**Chief**: do you think he did it?
**Interrogator**: yes Chief, he's about to break
**Chief**: are you sure?
**Interrogator**: positive Chief. I saw his bum crack.

After a gruesome murder in Greenland the suspect is taken in for questioning by the police.

Inspector: Would you mind telling us where you were on the night from October 11th to March 5th?

A German tourist driving through France gets pulled over for speeding, and the French police officer starts questioning him.

FPO: Name?

GT: Hans Schmidt.

FPO: Age?

GT: 36

FPO: Occupation?

GT: No! No! I’m only here on vacation!

A world famous statistician was stopped by TSA at the airport

on his way to catch a flight to Washington DC. When they opened up his bag they found a bomb in it. Subsequently he was handcuffed and taken to the station for questioning. When asked about it he said, “I always carry a bomb with me for every fight!” The investigator questioned this, saying “Why wou...

Why was the pencil brought in for questioning

Because they thought he was sketchy

The lady who birthed babies started questioning her career choice.

I think she was going through a midwife crisis.
...

A lawyer was questioning a doctor...

A lawyer was cross-examining a doctor about whether or not he had checked the pulse of the deceased before he signed the death certificate.
"No," the doctor said."I did not check his pulse."
"And did you listen for a heartbeat?" asked the lawyer.
"No I did not," the doctor said.
...

In light of some recent idiotic questioning by reporters

A man is interviewed after his wife was swept away in a flood. The reporter asks "Were you close with your wife?" He responds, "No, we drifted apart recently."

The cashier gave me a questioning look as she scanned the 10th bottle of baby oil.

"My wife says I need to glisten more," I explained. "I don't know why, I wasn't really paying attention".

Attorney questioning a doctor

Attorney: Before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?

Doctor: No

Attorney: Did you check for blood pressure?

Doctor: No

Attorney: Did you check for breathing?

Doctor: No

Attorney: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you b...

Why is everybody questioning Trump’s integrity?

He is not taking the salary usually given by the United States to be the President. He honestly feels he should not be paid by more than one government.

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I'm questioning my sexual orientation.

I can't think straight.

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In LGBTQ acronym, "Q" stands for "queer" or "questioning"...

It's the "Don't ask, can't tell" sexual orientation.

A man walks into a job interview...

He sits down on a chair, and the interviewer starts questioning him.

"So son, where did you receive your education?"

The man replied "Yale".

The interviewer, pleasantly surprised, says "Yale? Hard to believe you went to Yale to become a janitor. So what's your name?"

The...

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A plane is spotted trying to land at Area 51

One day at Area 51 a radar tech spots a single engine plane on final approach to the secret Air Force base. The plane touches down and is immediately surrounded by armed guards. The plane is impounded and the pilot is whisked off for questioning. The pilot claims that he had been flying from Las Veg...

What do you call a sewer that keeps questioning everything.

A sceptic sewer.

They brought the hot dog in for questioning.

He gave the... wurst... answers.

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A young teenage girl was making a living as a prostitute

and for obvious reasons she kept it a secret from her grandma. One day, the police raided a brothel and arrested a group of prostitutes, including the young girl. The prostitutes were instructed to line up in a straight line on the sidewalk. Well, who should be walking in the neighborhood, but littl...

A Korean man is wanted for questioning after his wife was found dead in their family home.

He is the Seoul suspect.

Police were questioning a man after he murdered his wife after catching her in bed with another man,

they asked him why he didn't kill her lover instead; he replied "It was easier to kill one woman rather than a different man every week."

The 40 year old health care worker who cares for newborns started questioning her career choices, then flipped out and left town

I guess she was having a midwife crisis

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Police officer questioning a man. So when was it you noticed that your wife was dead?

Man replied, sex was the same but the dishes started piling up..

Why did the gynecologist get taken in for questioning?

He smelled a little fishy.

A Detective is in a room questioning a suspect

After a while, he comes out of the room and talks to the police sergeant there with him, "Well, I've asked him just about every question in the book. 'Where were you last night?', 'What were you doing?', 'Who were you with?', everything."

The sergeant asks, "Well have you gotten a confession...

A state trooper pulled over a guy for going too slow on the freeway and having too many flags on His car.... As soon as the officer walked to the car the questioning begun:

Who are You? What is Your name? Do you speak english? You look illegal to Me are You legal? Where did You come from?........

Ok first of all My name is officer Gonzales and I am supposed to be doing the questions.

Holy

While the pope was visiting the USA, he told the driver of his limo that he has the sudden urge to drive. The driver was a good Catholic man and would not ever dream of questioning the pope's authority. So, the pope sat at the wheel, while his driver got in the back.

They were traveling down ...

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