I was driving to work this morning, distracted as usual by my coffee, banana, podcasts, etc, when I hit something. I saw a gray and white lump on the road in my rear view and feared the worse. I got out and checked, and just as I had thought, I hit a cat.

It had a collar on, so clearly it belonged to someone, and it was in front of a little farmhouse, which was the only house within seeing distance. I knocked on the door, and a lady in a bathrobe answered. It was plain to see the she was amid a hectic morning getting her kids ready for school. I e...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Legendary Chicago Cubs broadcaster Harry Caray gets pulled over for going about 90 on the way to the ballpark ... (long)

He thinks his reputation will spare him from a ticket, but it's clear the cop is serious when he asks for Caray's license and registration. Harry, probably already three sheets to the wind, replies, "You know officer, I would give you that, but this is a stolen car." The cop is a bit taken aback and...

My friends have started a podcast where they argue about their cheese opinions

It's called "k......so?"

A radio host was taking a break during his podcast when he realized that someone stole his motorcycle from the station's parking lot.

The radio host took the mic and started yelling:

"To the people who stole my motorcycle this morning, you have 4 hours to bring it back to me or I'll do to you the same thing my dad did in 1999 when someone stole his car!"

Only 30 minutes had passed when 2 guys showed up to the radio s...

Heard this on a podcast this morning.

A helicopter was flying around above Seattle when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's electronic navigation and communications equipment.

Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter's position and course to fly to the airport. The pilot saw a...

Welcome to the Incomplete Thoughts podcast!

I'm your host,

What do a group of whales listen to on long journey?

Podcasts.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Joe Rogan Jokes

I adore what Joe Rogan has done for the DMT community and long-form interviews on his awesome podcast.

But when he uses his not-insignificant talents to do retread homosexual jokes and stolen sound effects (RIP Sam Kinison) for a mostly male heterosexual audience, one cannot help but wonde...

I’m dressing as the Republican healthcare bill for Halloween.

I won’t be leaving the house.


(Heard this on the podcast “Fake the Nation” and thought you all would like it.)

How do dolphins and whales pass down and share knowledge through the generations?

Via podcasts, naturally.

How do Mexicans cut their pizza?

With little Caesars.

Credit goes to Burnie Burns who told this joke on a podcast.

My electricity went out, so I went to visit my friend in New York.

It was definitely a power trip.

(As heard on a really old episode of the podcast “Lexicon Valley”.)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I am a little O.C.D when I masturbate

I can’t cum without touching myself like a thousand times




Credit- Mike Falzone from Dynamic Banter podcast

What do you call a league of battling plants?

Phyte club.

Credit to the podcast Skeptics Guide to the Universe. I'm not this funny.

What gun does Jesus hate the most?

The nail gun.

So sorry if this offends you
Credit to the /r/pka podcast

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A kid walking along the road finds a welding mask...

He's walking along playing with the mask when a stranger stops and asks if he needs a ride. The kid is a ways from the part of town he's headed to so he accepts. After a bit the guy says "Hey kid, do you know what frottage is?" The kid says "Nope." The guy continues "How about voyeurism?" The k...

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