Helium saved 6 people from a house fire.

He’s such a noble gas.

A Proton, a neutron and Helium walk into a bar...

A proton, a neutron and Helium walk into a bar and order three beers.
The bartender appears with three beers in hand and asks the proton, “Are you sure you are above 21?”
The proton replies, “I’m positive.” The bartender then gives the proton his beer.
He then says to neutron while giving ...

I’ve been reading a book on helium.

And I just couldn’t put it down.

I’ve never tried inhaling helium before

But people speak very highly of it

The chemistry teacher babbles on, "Yada yada, chemical formulae, elements, atoms, Helium, Lithium, Beryllium..."

One of the students stands up and says, "BORON!!!"

Helium, neon, argon, krypton, xenon and argon walk into a bar.

The bartender shouts at them: "GET OUT!"

They didn't react.

I have a girlfriend that's addicted to inhaling helium.

If she keeps it up, I'm just going to have to let her go.

Have you heard the joke about the two helium atoms?

HeHe

Breaking :A man was arrested yesterday for impersonating a helium balloon.

A spokesperson for the police said.. We held him for a while and then let him go..

What did the scientist say when he found two isotopes of helium?

HeHe...

Im making bad chemistry jokes coz all the good ones argon

Just quit my job at the Helium factory.

There's no way I'm being spoken to in that tone.

I'm outraged at the price of helium balloons.

Bloody inflation.

What did the scientist say when he found 2 Isotopes of Helium?

HeHe

A helium atom walks into a bar.

The bartender says "Sorry, we don't serve noble gases in here."
The helium doesn't react.

in another world, there's a guy that was made out of carbon, helium, and fluorine. do you know what he is?

he's a CHeF......

What do you call a helium balloon shaped like Albert Einstein?

A stable genius.... (original)

The first double Helium molecule should be named after Michael Jackson

HeHe

I met this guy who liked to put helium balloons in his ship

Whatever floats your boat I guess

Helium excimers are no laughing matter...

Even if their formula is HeHe

If a chemist gets sick and you can't helium or curiam, what do you do?

You barium.

Carbon and Helium were having a conversation.

Carbon: “ And then I said, Barium!”

Osmium walks into the room.

“What’s so funny guys?”

Carbon whispers to Helium: “Don’t tell him. He’s too dense to get it.”

Imagine what the first person who inhaled helium thought...

They must have spoke very highly about it.

Three atoms, hydrogen, helium, and oxygen walk into a bar.

They go up to the bartender, Germanium, and start to order their drinks, but soon realise they are short on cash.

Hydrogen says to Germanium, "Hey man, we've had a long week, bonding is hard. If we can make you laugh, can we drink for free tonight?"

Germanium thinks about it for a min...

Some people think filling animals with helium is wrong...

I don't judge. Whatever floats your goat.

Why do they call Helium, Curium and Barium the three medical elements?

Because if you can't Helium or Curium you Barium! \^\^

You can easily make money by collecting helium and selling it for a dollar per pound.

No weight, that doesn't make any cents...

Oxygen tried to pick a fight with Helium

Helium didn't react at all, he simply rose above, Carbon was watching the whole thing and said, "That's very noble of you"

People often make fun of me for swallowing helium

But I rise above it.

Why isn't there any helium in North Korea?

Because helium can only be found in a free state.

Found out today that the sun is around 26% helium.

That must be why it’s so light.

Oxygen, helium, sulphur, sodium and phosphorus walk in to a bar...

OH SNaP

What's Michael Jackson's favourite element?

Helium

I once worked in a helium factory

It wasn't a very nice job, because of the leaks, but the owner was very sympathetic and we all spoke highly of her.

A doctor is operating on a patient.

He says to his assistant: “Helium please” so the assistant wheels over a tank of helium.
The doctor proceeds to put a mask on the patient so he can inhale the gas, but the patient doesn’t respond to the treatment.

The doctor turns to his assistant again. “Curium please”. And the assistant...

What do you call it when Argon, Neon, Krypton, Xenon, Radon, and Helium frequently attend church?

Noble Masses.

LPT: If your dentist has no painkillers, ask him for Helium.

It will be hilarious when you scream.

What happened when there was a global helium shortage?

Prices ballooned.

I just got hired at the helium factory

I find the job uplifting.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why did the big ball of hydrogen and helium give Harvey Weinstein a blowjob?

Because he said he would make her a star!

What do you get if you mix laughing gas and helium?

He He He

3 balloons: Daddy balloon, mummy balloon and baby balloon

Daddy balloon says to baby balloon:

"Look son, you are much to old to sleep with mummy and daddy, you will have to sleep in your own bed."

Baby balloon protests: "I like sleeping with you and mommy."

"No, you are not sleeping with us and that is final!" says daddy balloon. ...

What did helium say when asked if wanted to date sodiumhypobromite?

He: NaHBrO

Has anyone tried buying helium lately?

The price is really going up due to inflation...

I used to work in a helium factory...

But I left, because I didn't like the way they spoke to me...

[Read the second part with a helium voice.]

My favourite element is helium..

I can't speak highly enough of it.

Why did the man commit suicide by helium suffocation?

He wanted to go out on a high note.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A chemist discovered a revolutionary new compound of technetium, sulfur, helium, and bismuth.

It got him tons of BiTcHeS.

What happened to the guy who ingested helium?

He became enlightened.

A Doctor and A Chemist

A doctor and a chemist are chatting in a hospital. The doctor talks about how he's having trouble with a patient, to which the chemist replies,"Well, if you can't Curium and you can't Helium, then you might as well Barium."

If Donald Trump was asked "If oxygen was discovered in 1783, how could human breathe before", this would probably be his answer.

I have to say a lot of people have been asking this question. No, really. A lot of people come up to me, and they ask me. They say, 'How do people breathe before the discovery of oxygen'? And I tell them, look, we know what oxygen is. We've had almost eight years of the worst kind of chemistry you c...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you get when you combine Helium, Yttrium, Selenium, and Xenon?

**HeYSeXe**

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