UPJOKE
hydrogennoble gasargonnitrogenmethanechemical elementboiling pointnatural gasinertthoriumairshipnuclear fusionneonsunoxygen

Helium saved 6 people from a house fire.

He’s such a noble gas.

What did the scientist say when he found two isotopes of helium?

HeHe...

Im making bad chemistry jokes coz all the good ones argon

Why is helium so expensive these days?

Because of all the inflation.

Some people think filling animals with helium is wrong...

I don't judge. Whatever floats your goat.

Just quit my job at the helium factory.

I will not be spoken to in that tone of voice.

I filled my inflatable girlfriend up with helium.

Now she's playing hard to get.

Oxygen tried to pick a fight with Helium

Helium didn't react at all, he simply rose above, Carbon was watching the whole thing and said, "That's very noble of you"

A Proton, a neutron and Helium walk into a bar...

A proton, a neutron and Helium walk into a bar and order three beers.
The bartender appears with three beers in hand and asks the proton, “Are you sure you are above 21?”
The proton replies, “I’m positive.” The bartender then gives the proton his beer.
He then says to neutron while giving ...

Helium, neon, argon, krypton, xenon and argon walk into a bar.

The bartender shouts at them: "GET OUT!"

They didn't react.

I’ve never tried inhaling helium before

But people speak very highly of it

Airport police say that the number of people smuggling helium balloons in their luggage is under control.

But cases continue to rise.

What if the helium goes to the bar?

Helium walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve nobles here." Helium does not react.

Why are helium, curium, and barium the three main medical elements?

If you can't curium or helium, you barium!

Why is He the symbol for helium?

Because it makes you giggle.^(HeHeHe)

Have you heard about the helium shortage?

It's only gotten worse with inflation.

Everyone is telling the Helium joke, but what do you get when you add Helium to Tellurium?

……..TeHe!

My friend recently told me a joke about Helium

He He He

My addiction to Helium is out of control, but...

no one is taking my cries for help seriously.

I swallowed two cans of helium today

HeHe

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Helium

Helium walks into a bar, where he sees Argon, Krypton, and Neon sitting at a table. They cast dirty looks in his direction. Neon stands up and shouts across the bar, "Get your ass out of here! You don't deserve to be a noble gas, and they won't serve your kind here!"

Helium does not react.

My jokes are filled with helium.

They never land.

LPT: If your dentist has no painkillers, ask him for Helium.

It will be hilarious when you scream.

I was reading a book about helium

I couldn't put it down.

Three Helium molecules walk into a bar

The bartender asks, "what's so funny?"

Scientists record the sound of two helium atoms laughing.

HeHe

I have a really good joke about helium

But it'll get no reaction like my cake day.

That one about the three helium atoms is pretty funny.

HeHeHe

Helium walks into a bar.

Or, rather than walks, floats; for helium, at room temperature, is a gas, and thus has no legs with which to walk, and, due to its lighter-than-air nature, does not sink to the ground. The bartender himself is confused, for not only is helium invisible to the naked eye in the absence of another obje...

Did you hear about the guy who immediately found a job after quitting from the helium factory?

Their references spoke very highly of them.

I am pretty sure helium hates my jokes

Yeah,he pretty much dosent react to any of them

Imagine what the first person who inhaled helium thought...

They must have spoke very highly about it.

Helium excimers are no laughing matter...

Even if their formula is HeHe

I have a girlfriend that's addicted to inhaling helium.

If she keeps it up, I'm just going to have to let her go.

What did the chemist say in response to a clever joke about helium?

He He :))

My favorite element is Helium

I can't speak highly enough of it

Why do chemists call Helium, Curium, and Barium 'the medical elements'?

Because, if you can't 'helium' or 'curium', you 'barium'!

My friend takes helium recreationally.

He speaks very highly about it.

Why isn't there any helium in North Korea?

Because helium can only be found in a free state.

Neon bumped into helium.

There was no reaction.

We’re trying to come up with a plan to get my escaped helium balloon back. We’ve got some ideas.

But it’s still up in the air.

What happened when there was a global helium shortage?

Prices ballooned.

People often make fun of me for swallowing helium

But I rise above it.

Oxygen, helium, sulphur, sodium and phosphorus walk in to a bar...

OH SNaP

Carbon and Helium were having a conversation.

Carbon: “ And then I said, Barium!”

Osmium walks into the room.

“What’s so funny guys?”

Carbon whispers to Helium: “Don’t tell him. He’s too dense to get it.”

I just got hired at the helium factory

I find the job uplifting.

A science joke

What did the hydrogen atom say to the helium atom:

release my family

I met this guy who liked to put helium balloons in his ship

Whatever floats your boat I guess

Three atoms, hydrogen, helium, and oxygen walk into a bar.

They go up to the bartender, Germanium, and start to order their drinks, but soon realise they are short on cash.

Hydrogen says to Germanium, "Hey man, we've had a long week, bonding is hard. If we can make you laugh, can we drink for free tonight?"

Germanium thinks about it for a min...

Found out today that the sun is around 26% helium.

That must be why it’s so light.

Helium Factory

It looks like the negotiations at the helium factory were falling apart....everything was up in the air.

What do you call a helium balloon shaped like Albert Einstein?

A stable genius.... (original)

Helium walks into a bar and orders a beer.

The bartender says "Sorry, we don't serve noble gasses here". He doesn't react, because living a society that systematically discriminates against noble gasses has taught him that getting angry will only bring violence upon him. He totally writes an angry tumblr post about it later that evening thou...

If helium lifts things could you say

It's a source of light?

My cousin only breathed helium when he was born

He has Up Syndrome.

What do you get if you mix laughing gas and helium?

He He He

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why did the Helium atom feel lonely? No one wanted to bond with it would be a logical answer.

The truth is, it is just an asshole!

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