What did the scientist say when he found two isotopes of helium?
HeHe...
Im making bad chemistry jokes coz all the good ones argon
upvote downvote report
Helium saved 6 people from a house fire.
He’s such a noble gas.
upvote downvote report
Some people think filling animals with helium is wrong...
I don't judge. Whatever floats your goat.
upvote downvote report
Why is helium so expensive these days?
Because of all the inflation.
upvote downvote report
I filled my inflatable girlfriend up with helium.
Now she's playing hard to get.
upvote downvote report
Just quit my job at the helium factory.
I will not be spoken to in that tone of voice.
upvote downvote report
I’ve never tried inhaling helium before
But people speak very highly of it
upvote downvote report
Oxygen tried to pick a fight with Helium
Helium didn't react at all, he simply rose above, Carbon was watching the whole thing and said, "That's very noble of you"
upvote downvote report
A Proton, a neutron and Helium walk into a bar...
A proton, a neutron and Helium walk into a bar and order three beers. The bartender appears with three beers in hand and asks the proton, “Are you sure you are above 21?” The proton replies, “I’m positive.” The bartender then gives the proton his beer. He then says to neutron while giving ...
upvote downvote report
Helium, neon, argon, krypton, xenon and argon walk into a bar.
The bartender shouts at them: "GET OUT!"
They didn't react.
upvote downvote report
Airport police say that the number of people smuggling helium balloons in their luggage is under control.
But cases continue to rise.
upvote downvote report
What if the helium goes to the bar?
Helium walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve nobles here." Helium does not react.
upvote downvote report
Why are helium, curium, and barium the three main medical elements?
If you can't curium or helium, you barium!
upvote downvote report
Why is He the symbol for helium?
Because it makes you giggle.^(HeHeHe)
upvote downvote report
Have you heard about the helium shortage?
It's only gotten worse with inflation.
upvote downvote report
Everyone is telling the Helium joke, but what do you get when you add Helium to Tellurium?
……..TeHe!
upvote downvote report
My friend recently told me a joke about Helium
He He He
upvote downvote report
My addiction to Helium is out of control, but...
no one is taking my cries for help seriously.
upvote downvote report
I swallowed two cans of helium today
HeHe
upvote downvote report
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
Helium
Helium walks into a bar, where he sees Argon, Krypton, and Neon sitting at a table. They cast dirty looks in his direction. Neon stands up and shouts across the bar, "Get your ass out of here! You don't deserve to be a noble gas, and they won't serve your kind here!"
Helium does not react.
upvote downvote report
My jokes are filled with helium.
They never land.
upvote downvote report
LPT: If your dentist has no painkillers, ask him for Helium.
It will be hilarious when you scream.
upvote downvote report
I was reading a book about helium
I couldn't put it down.
upvote downvote report
Three Helium molecules walk into a bar
The bartender asks, "what's so funny?"
upvote downvote report
Scientists record the sound of two helium atoms laughing.
HeHe
upvote downvote report
I have a really good joke about helium
But it'll get no reaction like my cake day.
upvote downvote report
That one about the three helium atoms is pretty funny.
HeHeHe
upvote downvote report
Helium walks into a bar.
Or, rather than walks, floats; for helium, at room temperature, is a gas, and thus has no legs with which to walk, and, due to its lighter-than-air nature, does not sink to the ground. The bartender himself is confused, for not only is helium invisible to the naked eye in the absence of another obje...
upvote downvote report
Did you hear about the guy who immediately found a job after quitting from the helium factory?
Their references spoke very highly of them.
upvote downvote report
I am pretty sure helium hates my jokes
Yeah,he pretty much dosent react to any of them
upvote downvote report
Imagine what the first person who inhaled helium thought...
They must have spoke very highly about it.
upvote downvote report
Helium excimers are no laughing matter...
Even if their formula is HeHe
upvote downvote report
I have a girlfriend that's addicted to inhaling helium.
If she keeps it up, I'm just going to have to let her go.
upvote downvote report
What did the chemist say in response to a clever joke about helium?
He He :))
upvote downvote report
My favorite element is Helium
I can't speak highly enough of it
upvote downvote report
Why do chemists call Helium, Curium, and Barium 'the medical elements'?
Because, if you can't 'helium' or 'curium', you 'barium'!
upvote downvote report
My friend takes helium recreationally.
He speaks very highly about it.
upvote downvote report
Why isn't there any helium in North Korea?
Because helium can only be found in a free state.
upvote downvote report
Neon bumped into helium.
There was no reaction.
upvote downvote report
We’re trying to come up with a plan to get my escaped helium balloon back. We’ve got some ideas.
But it’s still up in the air.
upvote downvote report
A science joke
What did the hydrogen atom say to the helium atom:
release my family
upvote downvote report
What happened when there was a global helium shortage?
Prices ballooned.
upvote downvote report
People often make fun of me for swallowing helium
But I rise above it.
upvote downvote report
Oxygen, helium, sulphur, sodium and phosphorus walk in to a bar...
OH SNaP
upvote downvote report
Carbon and Helium were having a conversation.
Carbon: “ And then I said, Barium!”
Osmium walks into the room.
“What’s so funny guys?”
Carbon whispers to Helium: “Don’t tell him. He’s too dense to get it.”
upvote downvote report
I just got hired at the helium factory
I find the job uplifting.
upvote downvote report
I met this guy who liked to put helium balloons in his ship
Whatever floats your boat I guess
upvote downvote report
Three atoms, hydrogen, helium, and oxygen walk into a bar.
They go up to the bartender, Germanium, and start to order their drinks, but soon realise they are short on cash.
Hydrogen says to Germanium, "Hey man, we've had a long week, bonding is hard. If we can make you laugh, can we drink for free tonight?"
Germanium thinks about it for a min...
upvote downvote report
Found out today that the sun is around 26% helium.
That must be why it’s so light.
upvote downvote report
Helium Factory
It looks like the negotiations at the helium factory were falling apart....everything was up in the air.
upvote downvote report
What do you call a helium balloon shaped like Albert Einstein?
A stable genius.... (original)
upvote downvote report
Helium walks into a bar and orders a beer.
The bartender says "Sorry, we don't serve noble gasses here". He doesn't react, because living a society that systematically discriminates against noble gasses has taught him that getting angry will only bring violence upon him. He totally writes an angry tumblr post about it later that evening thou...
upvote downvote report
If helium lifts things could you say
It's a source of light?
upvote downvote report
My cousin only breathed helium when he was born
He has Up Syndrome.
upvote downvote report
What do you get if you mix laughing gas and helium?
He He He
upvote downvote report
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
Why did the Helium atom feel lonely? No one wanted to bond with it would be a logical answer.
The truth is, it is just an asshole!
upvote downvote report
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.