Neutron Jokes

A proton, a neutron and Helium walk into a bar and order three beers.
The bartender appears with three beers in hand and asks the proton, “Are you sure you are above 21?”
The proton replies, “I’m positive.” The bartender then gives the proton his beer.
He then says to neutron while giving ... read more

The bartender hands him a drink, and says, "No charge."

He asks the bartender- "How much for a beer?"
The bartender looks at him and replied, "For you no charge"



Sry, not the best joke I could think off

Cesium salad.

"Thanks for letting me live here free of charge!"

That'll be no extra charge sir.

‘Oh no’ the proton said, ‘I left my wallet in my house’
‘Are you sure?’ The neutron said.
‘I’m positive’ said the proton.

A neutrino walks into a Mexican Restaurant. He orders a taco with extra chili sauce. The bartender comes up to his table with a taco and a gigantic bottle of super-hot chili sauce. He opens the taco, starts pouring sauce and asks:

"So how much salsa do you want, amigo?"

The neutrino a... read more

I told her: "You look like a beautiful shining star"
She replied: "Awhh..."

But then I added: "A neutron star" and she slapped me.
I was hoping she was too dense to understand the joke.

They forgot to mention Morons.

In sub-atomic particle divisions.

A neutron and a uranium atom walk into a restaurant. They sit at a table and order a full meal, having a muted conversation during the meal. The waiter comes over and the neutron asks for separate checks. He brings the split bills like requested.

“I hope you two have a good evening,” he says... read more

...the proton orders a shot, drinks it, then takes out his wallet and pays the bartender.

the electron orders a shot, drinks it, then takes out his wallet and pays the bartender.

the neutron orders a shot, drinks it, then takes out his wallet.. the bartender stops him and says, "wait.... read more

Make yourself atom

They’re always given free of charge.

Jimmy Electron, Jimmy Proton and Carl Weiner

Hot, dense, and degenerate.

Density

3 - Neutron stars

2 - Black holes

1 - The collective weight of the people who thought this was a yo momma joke

Because there'd be no charge.

Well, n^0

A neutron walks into a bar and asks the bartender, “How much for a drink?”

“For you, sir, no charge!”

 

What's 2 times 2?

Physicist: “After some measurements I am fairly sure it is somewhere between 3.81 and 4.13!”

Mathematician: “After some consideration ... read more

But I never bothered to figure out why.

A few moments after the big bang a cloud full of Hydrogen atoms fall into a blackhole and die. The arrive at the border between multiverses and meet Saint Platinum-Erbium

St PtEr says to them "Welcome to Heaven. In a moment I will let you all through, but before I may do that, I must ask each... read more

Proton and neutron were chilling in the nucleus one day, then proton asks neutron: “Why you only hangout with me in here instead of electron?”

Neutron replies: “He was too negative to begin with.”

A group of cosmic rays establishes a stock trading company. As energetic as they come, they start off with a bang. With a handful of eager young protons joining their ranks, they begin to see extremely positive gains in their investments in no time. They're making more money than they know what to d... read more

A proton, a neutron, and an electron got into a bar fight.

The bartender called the police, but when the officers arrived, they only arrested the proton. Confused, the bartender asked, “why did you only arrest the proton?”

To which one of the officers replied, “well you see, the elect... read more

The first one was selling protons and electrons for .10 cents each. The second one was just handing out neutrons to anyone. When I asked the second one why he wouldn't accept any money for the neutrons he repllied: *they're free of charge*.

Guess he couldn’t handle the neutron style

Two atoms are walking down the sidewalk. One says, "I think I lost a neutron!" and the other says, "Don't worry! You can get another one free of charge!".

What particles in a reactor are the happiest?



Delayed neutrons.

The bartender calls cops and they show up to arrest everyone. The cops cuff the proton and electron but they let the neutron go because nobody could press charges.

we thought atoms represented the smallest unit of matter. Although initially thought to be indivisible, this was proven false and each atom is made up of proton, neutrons, and electrons inside.

For a time these were the smallest units, then we found that these protons and neutrons were made u... read more

What do you call a cool mushroom?...A fun guy!!!

A neutron walks into a bar. "I'd like a beer" he says. The bartender promptly serves up a beer. "How much will that be?" asks the neutron. "For you?" replies the bartender, "no charge"

A guy walks into a restaurant, and takes a seat. Acr... read more

"How much are the protons?"

"A dime a dozen, and the neutrons are free of charge."

electrons: 10 cents

protons: 10 cents

neutrons: free of charge

One says, "I think I've lost an electron."
The other says, "Are you sure?"
The first says, "Yes, I'm positive..."


So, a neutron walks into a bar. "I'd like a beer" he says. The bartender promptly serves up a beer. "How much will that be?" asks the neutron.
"For you?" replies the ... read more

A proton walks into a bar. Strolls up to the bartender and says "I don't care what you serve me, but I want the most expensive drink you offer."

The bartender looks at him quizzically. "You sure about that, buddy?"

**"I'm positive."**

A cute little neutron walks in right after ... read more

* I’m reading a great book on anti-gravity. I can’t put it down.

* I have a new theory on inertia but it doesn’t seem to be gaining momentum.

* Why can’t atheists solve exponential equations? Because they don’t believe in higher powers.

* Schrodinger’s cat walks into a bar. And ... read more

Fig neutrons