What did the oxygen atom in tuxedo say to the hydrogen atoms?

Bond, Covalent Bond

Why don’t scientists trust atoms?

Because they make up everything.

Two atoms are talking and one says "I think I lost an electron."

The other atom says "Are you sure?" The first atom replys "Yes, I'm positive!"

Atoms can't actually touch. We're all made of atoms and all mater is atoms which can neither be created or destroyed.

so to answer your question, no officer I did not punch that child

What fish is made out of two sodium atoms?

2 Na

I was putting atoms together for chemistry. Until I put magnesium and oxygen together.


What do you call a scientist who splits atoms to create bubbly beverages?

A nuclear fizzicist.

Two hydrogen atoms decide that they want to ride on the Large Hadron Collider.

They jump on a plane to Switzerland and sneak in while no one is looking. As they start to speed up one of them realises that they have both lost their electrons. It mentions it to his friend who asks "Are you sure?"

It replys "I'm positive."

What follows 16 sodium atoms?


Cake day joke! What do Trump and Atoms have in common?

They make up everything!

Scientist: We've discovered a clump of atoms that has no sense of humor.

Me : You've got to br kidding.
Scientist : This is no laughing matter.

Did you know that atoms never touch each other. And since we’re made of atoms, we’ve never touched anything in our entire lives.

So to answer your question officer, no I did not punch that kid.

Sixteen sodium atoms walk into a bar

Followed by Batman.

What do atoms and black lives have in common?

They matter

How do hydrogen atoms find a new leader?

They hold an *electron*.

Did you hear the joke about the two helium atoms?

He He

What’s an atoms favorite video game?


A wise man once said:"never trust atoms!"

"They make up everything"

I'll see my way out

Stand up Comedy on Star Trek

Yo mamma so fat… she tried to use the teleporter, but it ran out of atoms before she made it to the other side

What is the profession of the handsomest atoms?

They're atomic models

What do we call a group of 12 atoms?

Dozen matter.

You'd think that atoms bonding would mean they're being friendly to each other, but instead they steal each others electrons.

Isn’t that Ionic?

How do atoms decide which one should be put in charge?

By having general electrons.

39 digits of pi accurately calculates the circumference of the universe to the width of a hydrogen atom

Scientists still can’t determine how much is needed for your mother though

What are 2 Protoactinium atoms together called?


What do you call a group of 500 atoms?

A Refund.

*This post is brought to you by "Todd Howard did Nothing Wrong" gang*

What do you call a molecular ring of six iron atoms?

A ferrous wheel.

Copper and chromium must be pretty great atoms...

If they have such an exceptional ground state

Three atoms, hydrogen, helium, and oxygen walk into a bar.

They go up to the bartender, Germanium, and start to order their drinks, but soon realise they are short on cash.

Hydrogen says to Germanium, "Hey man, we've had a long week, bonding is hard. If we can make you laugh, can we drink for free tonight?"

Germanium thinks about it for a min...

What did American physicists say to the US government after German scientists discovered how to split atoms?

Don’t worry, theres other fission, DC.

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