moleculeprotonisotopeelectronneutronchemical elementhydrogenparticlenucleusquarknucleonelectric chargedeuteriumatomic numberion

12 atoms of sodium walk into a bar.

Followed by Batman.

what kind of fish is made up of 2 atoms only?


Two atoms were walking down the street.

One of them said, "I lost an electron." The other one said, "Are you sure?" and the first one said, "I'm positive!"

You can never trust atoms..

…They make up everything!

I don't trust atoms.

If you run them through a background check, you'll see they always carry charges.

Why don't scientists trust atoms?

Because they make up everything!

>!sorry for the mandatory Cake day dad Joke!<


Did you know, atoms never touch eachother. Since we're made from atoms, we've never touched anything in our entire lives.

So to answer your question, officer, no I didn't punch that kid

Why are atoms selfish?

Because they're all that matter!

...Courtesy of my witty wife after my 11 year old asked the "Why should you never trust atoms? - because they make up everything" joke.

I thought surely the joke already existed, but I couldn't find it anywhere. Doesn't entirely work, but it got a l...

Scientists record the sound of two helium atoms laughing.


Why isn't energy made of atoms?

It doesn't matter

(go ahead and down vote :P)

What do you call a ring of iron atoms?

A ferrous wheel.

What do we call a group of 12 atoms?

Dozen matter.

If atoms make up everything, then is this joke's punchline made up of atoms?

No, it's made up of btoms

I was putting atoms together for chemistry. Until I put magnesium and oxygen together.


What’s an atoms favorite video game?


That one about the three helium atoms is pretty funny.


Why should you distrust atoms?

Because they make up an awful lot of stuff.

What do atoms and black lives have in common?

They matter

A few moments after the big bang a cloud full of Hydrogen atoms fall into a blackhole and die.

A few moments after the big bang a cloud full of Hydrogen atoms fall into a blackhole and die. The arrive at the border between multiverses and meet Saint Platinum-Erbium

St PtEr says to them "Welcome to Heaven. In a moment I will let you all through, but before I may do that, I must ask each...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Atoms are catholic.

They have mass.

What do you call a scientist who splits atoms to create bubbly beverages?

A nuclear fizzicist.

How do hydrogen atoms find a new leader?

They hold an *electron*.

What are 2 Protoactinium atoms together called?


Two hydrogen atoms decide that they want to ride on the Large Hadron Collider.

They jump on a plane to Switzerland and sneak in while no one is looking. As they start to speed up one of them realises that they have both lost their electrons. It mentions it to his friend who asks "Are you sure?"

It replys "I'm positive."

Copper and chromium must be pretty great atoms...

If they have such an exceptional ground state

What do you call a group of 500 atoms?

A Refund.

*This post is brought to you by "Todd Howard did Nothing Wrong" gang*

Scientist: We've discovered a clump of atoms that has no sense of humor.

Me : You've got to br kidding.
Scientist : This is no laughing matter.

Two hydrogen atoms and an oxygen atom had a threesome...

Made me so wet.

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