Why can’t we trust atoms ?

Because they make up everything

"Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar.

One says, “I think I’ve lost an electron

.”The other says, “Are you sure?”

The first replies, “Yes, I’m positive.”

What fish is made out of two sodium atoms?

2 Na

What do you call a scientist who splits atoms to create bubbly beverages?

A nuclear fizzicist.

I was putting atoms together for chemistry. Until I put magnesium and oxygen together.

OMg

Two hydrogen atoms decide that they want to ride on the Large Hadron Collider.

They jump on a plane to Switzerland and sneak in while no one is looking. As they start to speed up one of them realises that they have both lost their electrons. It mentions it to his friend who asks "Are you sure?"

It replys "I'm positive."

Two atoms go on a date...when suddenly, one of them drops an electron and gasps. The other atom asks...are you sure?

I'm positive! Replies the other atom.

Scientist: We've discovered a clump of atoms that has no sense of humor.

Me : You've got to br kidding.
Scientist : This is no laughing matter.

Cake day joke! What do Trump and Atoms have in common?

They make up everything!

Did you know that atoms never touch each other. And since we’re made of atoms, we’ve never touched anything in our entire lives.

So to answer your question officer, no I did not punch that kid.

What follows 16 sodium atoms?

Batman

How do hydrogen atoms find a new leader?

They hold an *electron*.

What do you call a secret agent that holds two atoms together?

Bond. Atomic Bond.

Sixteen sodium atoms walk into a bar

Followed by Batman.

Why isn’t energy made up of atoms?

It doesn’t matter.

What do atoms and black lives have in common?

They matter

Did you hear the joke about the two helium atoms?

He He

What’s an atoms favorite video game?

Half-life

A wise man once said:"never trust atoms!"

"They make up everything"




I'll see my way out

Did you hear Oasis's new song about the attraction and repulsion of atoms?

"And after all, you're my Van der Waals"

What is the profession of the handsomest atoms?

They're atomic models

How do atoms decide which one should be put in charge?

By having general electrons.

What are 2 Protoactinium atoms together called?

PaPa

Why are atoms Catholic?

Because they have mass

What do we call a group of 12 atoms?

Dozen matter.

The chemistry teacher babbles on, "Yada yada, chemical formulae, elements, atoms, Helium, Lithium, Beryllium..."

One of the students stands up and says, "BORON!!!"

You'd think that atoms bonding would mean they're being friendly to each other, but instead they steal each others electrons.

Isn’t that Ionic?

39 digits of pi accurately calculates the circumference of the universe to the width of a hydrogen atom

Scientists still can’t determine how much is needed for your mother though

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My trip to Japan

I went to Japan as a little boy. I was like 10 but it was a blast for me and others. First memory was from the airport when a fat man cut us off in the line to the airplane, but he got dropped off the flight as he didn't have his ticket, or maybe he lost his passport... I am splitting atoms anyway s...

What do you call a molecular ring of six iron atoms?

A ferrous wheel.

What do you call a group of 500 atoms?

A Refund.

*This post is brought to you by "Todd Howard did Nothing Wrong" gang*

Copper and chromium must be pretty great atoms...

If they have such an exceptional ground state

What did American physicists say to the US government after German scientists discovered how to split atoms?

Don’t worry, theres other fission, DC.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So two atoms walk out of a bar after last call

and the manager locks the door behind them. One atom turns to the other and says, "Oh shit! I left my electron in there." And the second atom says, "Oh no! Are you positive??"

Two hydrogen atoms and an oxygen atom had a threesome...

Made me so wet.

Three atoms, hydrogen, helium, and oxygen walk into a bar.

They go up to the bartender, Germanium, and start to order their drinks, but soon realise they are short on cash.

Hydrogen says to Germanium, "Hey man, we've had a long week, bonding is hard. If we can make you laugh, can we drink for free tonight?"

Germanium thinks about it for a min...

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