Why don't you iron four-leaf clovers?

Because you don't want to press your luck.

What's the difference between Iron Man and Iron Woman?

Iron Man is a superhero. Iron Woman is a command.

I’ve been experimenting with iron, carbon, and aluminum to make a better toilet. I’m going to write a whitepaper on my results.

It’s titled “The FeCAl Matter.”

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A man enters a sexy lingerie store to purchase a transparent negligee for his wife.

The salesgirl shows him several possibilities that range from $250 to $500 in price -- the more sheer, the higher the price. Naturally, he opts for the sheerest item, pays the $500, and takes it home.

He presents it to his wife and asks her to go upstairs, put it on, and model it for him. Ups...

What do you call Iron Man without his suit?

Stark naked

A phallus shaped potato ruled the world with an iron fist.

He was a Dic-tater.

My new iron is so bad it’s a joke!

It’s had me in creases all day

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A widowed mother of 3 is worried her children aren’t getting enough iron in their diet.

Not sure what to do, she mixes bb’s into their oatmeal. Later that day the first child comes running in the kitchen:

“Mama Mama - Guess what!?! I peed a bb!!”

“Oh, that’s good,” the mother assured, “that means you’re getting your iron.” And she gave the little tyke a cookie and sent ...

What's the difference between Iron man and Iron women?

One is a super hero, the others a simple instruction.

In what city do bad kids get iron instead of coal for Christmas?

Santa Fe

Iron Man is a very confusing character.

I know he’s a guy but he could’ve been Fe Male.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

What do you get if you buy an iron sex doll?

Titanus

What weighs more? 50kg of Iron or a 50kg woman?

The woman. They always lie about their weight.

What's the difference between Iron Man and Aluminum Man?

Iron Man stops the villains but Aluminum Man just foils their plans.

Wouldn't it be amazing if Silver Surfer and Iron Man teamed up?

Yeah, they would be alloys!

My girlfriend said she was leaving me because I'm low on iron

My buddy told me, "Don't worry, there's plenty other deficiency."

hey guys im trying out jokes, What do you get when oxygen and iron meet?

Ah darn, I forgot the punchline. Sorry guys Im a little rusty

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

“If Batman, who is a regular human but with gadgets, teamed up with Superman, who has supernatural powers and they fought against Iron Man, another regular human with gadgets, who teamed up with Thor, who has super powers, who would be the winners?!”

Your parents, when you move out of their basement...

What did people call Iron Man after he started playing "League of Legends?"

The Toxic Avenger.

There is one villain Iron Man could never be mad at.

He finds Magneto just too darn attractive.

What do you call an iron/carbon alloy that never gets embarrassed?

Shameless steel

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

An iron worker moves to Iraq

An iron worker moves to Iraq to make use of all the scrap metal lying around. After a few weeks of collecting he had a few close calls with finding mines in the piles of scrap, which according to the locals was a fairly common occurrence. After nearly loosing his arms for the fifth or sixth time he ...

What’s Iron Man’s Favorite Color?

rgb(254, 254, 254).

Why did the Ancient Egyptians really like iron?

Because iron is pharaohmagnetic

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Iron Man is sexist

The fellas down at Marvel need to create an Iron Woman. She would use her super strength and agility to get even the toughest stains out of my office slacks.

What do Iron Man and Katie Price have in common?

They have both had a Downey Junior Inside of them

What happens when a woman has no iron left in her body?

She becomes male.

What do you call it when touching iron or copper makes you break out in hives?

A metallurgy

Thor, Iron Man and Hulk walk into IKEA...

Avengers... Assemble

I can't place iron objects next to each other...

I'm allergic to Fe lines.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A mother is worried about her children's iron intake so she decides to put some iron BB gun ammo in their oatmeal...

Later that day why the mother was doing laundry her youngest son came up to her and said, "Mom! Mom! I was peeing just now I peed out a BB!"
The mother simply replied, "Don't worry dear that's normal"
Later on her middle oldest came in and said that he had also peed out a BB.
The mother re...

I checked the mail and all I got was a package full of iron

I guess a heavy Fe Mail is better than nothing

Love Dress

A mother stopped by unexpectedly at her son's house. She knocked on the door, then immediately walked in. She was shocked to see her daughter-in-law lying on the couch totally naked.

“What are you doing?!” she asked.

“I’m waiting for Jeff to come home from work,” the daughter-in-law an...

Iron Man is technically a FEmale.

I will downvote myself on the way out....

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

I walked in on Iron-Man having sex.

Spoiler alert: He was stark, fucking naked.

I like my women like I like my iron:

hot and hammered.

What did Iron man say to Captain America on the walkie talkie?

Steve, Roger that?

If Iron on the Periodic Table is "Fe,"

Couldn't Iron Man also be called Female?

What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

[OC] What’s the most ironic amusement park ride?

The ferrous wheel.

I kept giving all my male test subjects iron.

it kept turning them into girls. I don’t know why.

There was once a land, far away, and many years ago, that had three kingdoms around a triangular lake.

There was once a land far away and many years ago that had three kingdoms around a triangular lake. They often warred and casualties were fierce. So they agreed to hold a tournament of all their champions on an island in the middle of the lake. The first being rich and influential sent twenty Knight...

Anyone notice the irony behind “hyphenated”

and “non-hyphenated”?

My friend said I don’t understand irony

Which is ironic because we were standing at a bus stop

Why are the wheels of the trains made with iron and not rubber?

Because if they were made with rubber, they would erase the line.

Why can't two women play monopoly together?

There's only one iron.

My mom and dad run an Iron&Steel business.

My mom irons and my dad steals.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

The maid asked her boss, the wife for a raise, and she was upset.

The wife asked, "Now, Helen, why do you think you deserve a pay increase?"

Helen: "There are three reasons. The first is that I iron better than you."

Wife: "Who said that?"

Helen: "Your husband."

Wife: "Oh."

Helen: "The second reason is that I am a better cook tha...

What do Iron Man's suit and the small bus have in common?

They both transport Downey jr.

As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces

"If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman." She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?" A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".

What do you get when you cross Iron Man with Spiderman?

Pony Park

What do you call it when you get iron in the mail?

Female

On the outskirts of a small town, there was a big, old pecan tree just inside the cemetery fence. One day, two boys filled up a bucketful of nuts and sat down by the tree, out of sight, and began dividing the nuts.

"One for you, one for me, one for you, one for me," said one boy. Several dropped and rolled down toward the fence.
Another boy came riding along the road on his bicycle. As he passed, he thought he heard voices from inside the cemetery. He slowed down to investigate. Sure enough, he heard, "One ...

Iron was talking to his good friend Aluminum...

About his girlfriend Oxide. Aluminum told Iron that he should just dump her. "You don't need that kind of negativity in your life", he said. So Iron took his advice and sent Oxide packing, but Aluminum swooped in immediately after and started seeing Oxide himself.

Needless to say, things got ...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

I told Iron Man to break a leg, he tripped and broke his leg.

Oh the iron knee.

Note: I'm retarded and don't know 100% what irony is so this might make no sense.

In Soviet Russia you don't iron curtains.

Iron Curtains you.

What did Cap tell Iron Man when he asked to bring War Machine?

Rhodes? Where we're going, we don't need Rhodes.

"Do Not only strike while the iron is hot, but make it hot by striking."-Oliver Cromwell

Tried this on my girlfriend, now I'm going to jail.

My whole family loves iron

It runs in our blood.

I was watching a video of some entry level iron workers.

It's riveting.

What do you get when you mix an atom of cobalt, an atom of vanadium, and two atoms of iron?

covfefe

What's black and screams?

Stevie Wonder answering the iron.

Oxygen and iron are on a date

Oxygen and iron are on a date at a karaoke bar and everyone is telling them to go sing. So they say "we're a little rusty but we'll give it a shot"

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A man staggered into a hospital with a concussion, multiple bruises, two black eyes, and a five iron wrapped around his throat.

Naturally, the Doctor asked him, "What happened to you?
"Well, I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife, when at a difficult hole, we both sliced our balls into a cow pasture. We went to look for them and while I was looking around I noticed one of the cows had something white at its rear ...

Why should you use a 1 iron during a thunder storm

Even god couldn't hit a one iron

A woman heard that her blonde friend was in the hospital

She went to visit her, and found her propped up in bed with bandages over both her ears.

"What in the world happened to you?" she asked.

"It was the craziest thing," said the blonde. "I was ironing clothes when the phone rang. Without thinking I held the iron up to my ear and said 'h...

Every time someone comments on my wrinkly clothes I just tell them that I have an iron deficiency.

Yep. I do that.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

I lost my dishwasher, washingmashine, dryer, iron, stove, and vacumcleaner today.

Her funeral will be this saturday.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

The problem with Iron Fist...

The problem with Netflix's Iron Fist show is pretty simple.

See, Marvel is trying to be diverse not just in front of the camera, but behind it. They want to really show respect for the communities their characters are drawn from.

So Jessica Jones is a woman, and they made an effort to ...

Captain Marvel wasn’t the first standalone female superhero...

Iron man was, because he’s “Fe-Male”