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Iron Jokes

Iron Man is a very confusing character.

I know he’s a guy but he could’ve been Fe Male.
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What's the difference between Iron Man and Aluminum Man?

Iron Man stops the bad guys.
Aluminum Man just foils their plans.
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Iron deficiency gang, rise up!

But not too fast.
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If Iron man and Silver surfer...

teamed up they would be Alloys.
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The adjective for metal is metallic, but not so for iron

Which is ironic.
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It's quite ironic that "strap on"…

…backwards, spells 'no parts'…
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What was Iron Man's rejected hero name?

Fe Male
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My aunt's star sign was cancer, pretty ironic how she died

She was eaten by a giant crab

What's the difference between iron-man and iron woman?

one is a superhero and the other is a command.
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The most ironic part about working at the unemployment office is...

If you get fired, you still have to come in the next day.
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What's an iron workers favorite ride at the fair?

The ferrous wheel.
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Iron Man is technically a FEmale.

I will downvote myself on the way out....
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Why shouldn't you iron a 4 leaf clover?

You don't want to press your luck!
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Tough as an iron poker

Three cowboys are standing around a campfire. The first cowboy says, "I know I'm toughest cowboy there's ever been. I'll break any stallion in a day."

The second cowboy replies, "I'm tougher than that. I fought off a grizzly with my bare hands and got right back to work."

T...

The word QUEUE is ironic.

It's just a Q with a bunch of silent letters waiting in line.
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My friend, who's star sign was cancer, died very ironically.

He was mauled by a giant crab.
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So my iron broke because it overheated

The irony
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People often arguing about which Avenger is the best. Cap, Iron man, Thor...mine is Antman.

I can't help but cheer for an Ant-y hero.
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What is Iron Man when he removes his suit?

Stark naked.
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Wouldn’t it be ironic if Trump was brought down

By a virus from China , named after a Mexican beer?
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My mum's starsign was cancer, pretty ironic how she died...

She was eaten by a massive crab
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Wanna know what's ironic?

A blind racist
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My aunts sign was cancer so her death was ironic....

Eaten alive by a giant ass crab

It's ironic...

Most anti-vax mothers are actually vaccinated.

Which, depending on what you believe, might explain their autism.
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It's ironic that in America, red white and blue stands for freedom...

... unless they're flashing behind you.
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Why does Iron Man always make jokes?

Because he's a light-hearted guy
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It's ironic that Parasite won.

Because there was no host for the Oscars.

Huh? Huh?
I'll show myself out.

Thank you for the silver star!. My first!
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I was in the middle of ironing when something terrible happened.

It was a pressing emergency.
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Co-worker asked me, "If Batman, who is a regular human but with gadgets, teamed up with Superman, who has supernatural powers, and they fought against Iron Man, another regular human with gadgets, who teamed up with Thor, who has super powers, who would be the winners?"

"Your parents when you move out."
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Steel producers are grappling with the high price of iron...

...they say it's a terrible ore deal.

(An ore-ful joke, I know.)
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What's ironic about being late to your Optometrist appointment?

They can't see you.
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What plant is made of iron and steel?

Power plant
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What weighs more? 50kg of Iron or a 50kg woman?

The woman. They always lie about their weight.
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The Maid asked the master's wife for a pay raise!!

The wife was very upset about this, and decided to talk to her about the raise. She asked “Now Maria, why do you want a pay increase?”
Maria: “Well, Señora, there are tree reasons why I wanna increaze.” “The first is that I iron better than you.”
Wife: “Who said you iron better than me?”...

What do Iron man and Sarah Palin have in common?

They both had a little Downey inside of them.
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Thor, Iron Man and Hulk walk into IKEA...

Avengers... Assemble
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A woman is walking through the park when she sees a very attractive man sitting on a park bench. He's reading a book and eating some fruit out of a Tupperware container. Slowly the woman gathers the courage to go ask the man out.

So, she walks over and takes a seat next to him on the bench, turns to him and says, "Sorry to bother you. I know this may be a little forward but I would love to grab coffee with you some time." Flattered, the man responds, "Sure... but what makes you so certain you and I would get along so well?" ...
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Jack staggers into an emergency room with two black eyes and a five iron wrapped around his throat.

The doctor asks him what happened.

“Well it was like this,” said Jack. “I was having a quiet game of golf with my wife when she sliced her ball into a pasture of cows.

We went to look for it and while I was rooting around, I noticed one of the cows had something white at its rear end.<...

I just saw my wife trip over and drop the box of clothes she just ironed.

I..watched it all unfold.
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I don't like Haikus; But I like ironic twists

I am conflicted
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Iron Man never got along with Aquaman.

He has rust issues
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The other day my friend was telling me i didnt know what irony meant

Which was ironic since we were at a bus stop

Edit: thanks for silver gold and front page, it means alot
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Whats the difference between the Catholic Church and a clothing iron?

The church only wishes they could burn things until they are straight.
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Why is it ironic that Jesus was a Carpenter?

Because his name are the two words that you say right after you hit your thumb with a hammer.
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When I become a superhero, I'm going to call myself "Ironic".

So when there's trouble & I'm running away, people will be like "Isn't that ironic?!"
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I live alone, so I am ironing my own clothes

Oh, the irony.
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A blacksmith said to his new helper, "You see this piece of iron? When I nod my head, you hit it as hard as you can with your hammer."

Those were his last words.
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Isn't It Ironic?

My wife was trying to explain to me that I didn't know what irony meant, which was ironic because I had just taken a shower.
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It's ironic that Thelma and Louise spend an entire film challenging sexist stereotypes

And then die at the end because of their terrible driving.

A guy is playing golf with his wife...

They're on the 12th hole and the guy slices his tee shot right into the woods. He trudges into the woods, and locates his ball. it's in a little clearing, but there is a big barn between him and the green.

He takes a good look, and says, "Listen, honey, I think if you hold the barn door ope...
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Don’t use Viagra if you’re also taking an iron supplement.

You'll spend several hours facing north.

Know what’s ironic?

A computer asking me if I’m a robot.
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It's ironic that Alex Jones hates the LGBT community when he's secretly a drag queen.

His drag name is Miss Information.
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Why is buying raw iron such a pain in the ass?

I don't know. It's just a real ore deal.
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what's it called when Iron Man makes a tire?

A ferrous-wheel
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What do you call a cat wearing an iron armor?

(Fe)line
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Why can’t Iron man wear Spiderman’s suit?

He’s dead
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Update on an Ironic Classic

A man goes to the doctor, says he's depressed, says life seems harsh, heartless and cruel. He's all alone in a threatening world, and what lies ahead is vague and uncertain. Doctor says, "Treatment is simple. Great clown Pagliacci is in town tonight. Go and see him, that should pick you up." Man bur...

The difference between ironman and iron woman is....

One is a super hero, the other is a command.

And this type of rubbish joke is why my wife left me and the only comfort I have is reddit....I'm the real joke here.
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Ironically the guy who attacked Dave Chapelle got his Humerus bone dislocated

There was no arm done on Dave though.
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What do roundworms and a toad with no iron have in common?

They're both anemotodes.




Not technically OC, my mom came up with it
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Why did Iron Man play music at my party?

Because he was RDJ
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Why was titanium afraid of iron and argon

Because there is nothing to fear but FEAR itself
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My whole family loves iron

It runs in our blood.
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Why aren't Incel's big fans off Iron-Man?

They're just not big on Fe-Males, that's all.
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Rumor has it Marvel is gonna make a movie about Iron Woman

The cast will have a FeMale.
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Ironic isn't it

Ironic how Jan-worry and Febr-worry are the only two months in 2020 without worry.
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What's Iron Man's favorite type of housework?

Hoovering
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Buying yourself an Uber gift card is ironic.

Cause it's a free ride when you've already paid.
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Did you hear about the soldier that impressed his CO by making a bugle entirely out of scrap iron?

The CO liked it so much declared the next day Ferrous Bugler's Day Off.

What is an ironing board?

A surf board which gave up on its dreams and went to work.
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I never misused the word ironic, ironic right?

it's a bit of a paradox. THINK!
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Isn't it ironic...

that there's no Tolkien black man in The Lord of the Rings?

Why was Iron going to therapy

It was having trouble sorting out its Fe-elings

Happy science week!
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Why does Thor iron his cloak?

Because he knows what a crisp hem's worth.
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What's ironic about having a left handed pen

It's for righting.
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Thereʻs nothing ironic about rain on your wedding day.

It’s normal for a couple to have a bridal shower.
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