Why can’t Iron man wear Spiderman’s suit?

He’s dead

Why does Thor iron his cloak?

Because he knows what a crisp hem's worth.

What is the difference between Iron Man and Iron Woman ?

Iron man is a superhero while Iron woman is a command.

All Moms are like Iron Man

Because they're (Fe)male. Happy Mother's Day!

Why don't you iron four-leaf clovers?

Because you don't want to press your luck.

What do Iron Man and people who clap during Endgame have in common? (NO SPOILERS FOR ENDGAME)

Both of them are Downeys.

What do you call Iron-man when he can't take his suit off?

Tony Stuck

Iron Man is a very confusing character.

I know he’s a guy but he could’ve been Fe Male.

What do you call Iron Man without his suit?

Stark naked

Time to invest! Iron is becoming scarce.

First Iron Man and then the Iron Throne? There can't be much iron left.

When YouTube keeps recommending Iron Man videos after you seen Endgame

“Everywhere I go, I see his face”

Iron deficiency gang rise up

And fall back down

A middle eastern restaurant owner bought a new waffle iron.

He wasn't sure how to use it, so he chopped up some chickpeas, rolled them in flour and pressed them between the grates.

The mayor of the town stopped by that day, excited to try the new dish.

But when he took his first bite, the mayor declared it was so bad he would ban it from being ...

A man was diagnosed with severe iron deficiency anaemia. He decided to take more iron supplements - too much, in fact. A month later, he died from the supplement overdose.

Oh, the irony.

What weighs more? 50kg of Iron or a 50kg woman?

The woman. They always lie about their weight.

A phallus shaped potato ruled the world with an iron fist.

He was a Dic-tater.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A widowed mother of 3 is worried her children aren’t getting enough iron in their diet.

Not sure what to do, she mixes bb’s into their oatmeal. Later that day the first child comes running in the kitchen:

“Mama Mama - Guess what!?! I peed a bb!!”

“Oh, that’s good,” the mother assured, “that means you’re getting your iron.” And she gave the little tyke a cookie and sent ...

I’ve been experimenting with iron, carbon, and aluminum to make a better toilet. I’m going to write a whitepaper on my results.

It’s titled “The FeCAl Matter.”

My new iron is so bad it’s a joke!

It’s had me in creases all day

What's the difference between Iron man and Iron women?

One is a super hero, the others a simple instruction.

What's the difference between Iron Man and Aluminum Man?

Iron Man stops the villains but Aluminum Man just foils their plans.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

“If Batman, who is a regular human but with gadgets, teamed up with Superman, who has supernatural powers and they fought against Iron Man, another regular human with gadgets, who teamed up with Thor, who has super powers, who would be the winners?!”

Your parents, when you move out of their basement...

My girlfriend said she was leaving me because I'm low on iron

My buddy told me, "Don't worry, there's plenty other deficiency."

hey guys im trying out jokes, What do you get when oxygen and iron meet?

Ah darn, I forgot the punchline. Sorry guys Im a little rusty

Wouldn't it be amazing if Silver Surfer and Iron Man teamed up?

Yeah, they would be alloys!

What did people call Iron Man after he started playing "League of Legends?"

The Toxic Avenger.

What do you call an iron/carbon alloy that never gets embarrassed?

Shameless steel

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

An iron worker moves to Iraq

An iron worker moves to Iraq to make use of all the scrap metal lying around. After a few weeks of collecting he had a few close calls with finding mines in the piles of scrap, which according to the locals was a fairly common occurrence. After nearly loosing his arms for the fifth or sixth time he ...

Thor, Iron Man and Hulk walk into IKEA...

Avengers... Assemble

Everyone has heard of the "Stone Age", the "Bronze Age", and the "Iron Age."...

Some say that we're now in the "Information Age." I'd say that we've passed through the Information Age and a consequence of it has been a proliferation in lawsuits and other legal actions. All of this information is being used as a weapon, wielded by attorneys in courts. We are now in the age of th...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Iron Man is sexist

The fellas down at Marvel need to create an Iron Woman. She would use her super strength and agility to get even the toughest stains out of my office slacks.

There is one villain Iron Man could never be mad at.

He finds Magneto just too darn attractive.

What do Iron Man and Katie Price have in common?

They have both had a Downey Junior Inside of them

Why did the Ancient Egyptians really like iron?

Because iron is pharaohmagnetic

What do you call it when touching iron or copper makes you break out in hives?

A metallurgy

I can't place iron objects next to each other...

I'm allergic to Fe lines.

Iron Man is technically a FEmale.

I will downvote myself on the way out....

What happens when a woman has no iron left in her body?

She becomes male.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A mother is worried about her children's iron intake so she decides to put some iron BB gun ammo in their oatmeal...

Later that day why the mother was doing laundry her youngest son came up to her and said, "Mom! Mom! I was peeing just now I peed out a BB!"
The mother simply replied, "Don't worry dear that's normal"
Later on her middle oldest came in and said that he had also peed out a BB.
The mother re...

Love Dress

A mother stopped by unexpectedly at her son's house. She knocked on the door, then immediately walked in. She was shocked to see her daughter-in-law lying on the couch totally naked.

“What are you doing?!” she asked.

“I’m waiting for Jeff to come home from work,” the daughter-in-law an...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

I walked in on Iron-Man having sex.

Spoiler alert: He was stark, fucking naked.

I checked the mail and all I got was a package full of iron

I guess a heavy Fe Mail is better than nothing

Why can't two women play monopoly together?

There's only one iron.

I like my women like I like my iron:

hot and hammered.

What did Iron man say to Captain America on the walkie talkie?

Steve, Roger that?

What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel

There was once a land, far away, and many years ago, that had three kingdoms around a triangular lake.

There was once a land far away and many years ago that had three kingdoms around a triangular lake. They often warred and casualties were fierce. So they agreed to hold a tournament of all their champions on an island in the middle of the lake. The first being rich and influential sent twenty Knight...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

[OC] What’s the most ironic amusement park ride?

The ferrous wheel.

I kept giving all my male test subjects iron.

it kept turning them into girls. I don’t know why.

My friend said I don’t understand irony

Which is ironic because we were standing at a bus stop

Why are the wheels of the trains made with iron and not rubber?

Because if they were made with rubber, they would erase the line.

My mom and dad run an Iron&Steel business.

My mom irons and my dad steals.

Anyone notice the irony behind “hyphenated”

and “non-hyphenated”?

Maria, a maid, asks her boss for a raise.

Her boss is annoyed and asks, "Now, Maria, why do you think you deserve a raise?"
Maria: 'Well, Señora, there are three reasons why I want an raise. First, I iron better than you.'
Wife: 'Who said you iron better than me?'
Maria: 'Your husband said so.'
Wife: 'Oh.'
Maria: 'The second ...

As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces

"If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman." She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?" A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".

What do Iron Man's suit and the small bus have in common?

They both transport Downey jr.

What do you call it when you get iron in the mail?

Female

Iron was talking to his good friend Aluminum...

About his girlfriend Oxide. Aluminum told Iron that he should just dump her. "You don't need that kind of negativity in your life", he said. So Iron took his advice and sent Oxide packing, but Aluminum swooped in immediately after and started seeing Oxide himself.

Needless to say, things got ...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

I told Iron Man to break a leg, he tripped and broke his leg.

Oh the iron knee.

Note: I'm retarded and don't know 100% what irony is so this might make no sense.

I was watching a video of some entry level iron workers.

It's riveting.

My whole family loves iron

It runs in our blood.

What's black and screams?

Stevie Wonder answering the iron.

What did Cap tell Iron Man when he asked to bring War Machine?

Rhodes? Where we're going, we don't need Rhodes.

In Soviet Russia you don't iron curtains.

Iron Curtains you.

"Do Not only strike while the iron is hot, but make it hot by striking."-Oliver Cromwell

Tried this on my girlfriend, now I'm going to jail.

What do you get when you mix an atom of cobalt, an atom of vanadium, and two atoms of iron?

covfefe

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A man staggered into a hospital with a concussion, multiple bruises, two black eyes, and a five iron wrapped around his throat.

Naturally, the Doctor asked him, "What happened to you?
"Well, I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife, when at a difficult hole, we both sliced our balls into a cow pasture. We went to look for them and while I was looking around I noticed one of the cows had something white at its rear ...

What do you call it when a professional trumpet player calls in sick because he has too much iron in his blood?

Ferrous bugler's day off

A woman heard that her blonde friend was in the hospital

She went to visit her, and found her propped up in bed with bandages over both her ears.

"What in the world happened to you?" she asked.

"It was the craziest thing," said the blonde. "I was ironing clothes when the phone rang. Without thinking I held the iron up to my ear and said 'h...

Oxygen and iron are on a date

Oxygen and iron are on a date at a karaoke bar and everyone is telling them to go sing. So they say "we're a little rusty but we'll give it a shot"