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Iron Jokes

What's the difference between iron man and aluminum man"

Iron man stops bad guys. Aluminum man foils their plans.

What was Iron Man's rejected hero name?

Fe Male

People often arguing about which Avenger is the best. Cap, Iron man, Thor...mine is Antman.

I can't help but cheer for an Ant-y hero.

A blacksmith said to his new helper, "You see this piece of iron? When I nod my head, you hit it as hard as you can with your hammer."

Those were his last words.

Best Armor Types Ranked: 5) Leather 4) Bronze 3) Iron 2) Steel….

1) Plot

Iron deficiency gang, rise up!

But not too fast.

The adjective for metal is metallic, but not so for iron

Which is ironic.

Whats the difference between the Catholic Church and a clothing iron?

The church only wishes they could burn things until they are straight.

What did the Frenchman say when his mistress’ husband hit him over the head with an iron?

Fer enough.

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The maid asked her boss, the wife, for a raise, and the wife was upset.

The wife asked "Why do you think you deserve a pay increase?"

Maid: "There are three reasons. The first is that I iron better than you."

Wife: "Who said that?"

Maid: "Your husband."

Wife: "Oh."

Maid: "The second reason is that I am a better cook than you."

W...

A politician dies

So a politician dies and ends up standing in front of the pearly gates. Saint Peter looks at him for a second, flicks through his book, and finds his name.


"So, you're a politician..." "Well, yes, is that a problem?" "Oh no, no problem. But we've recently adopted a new system for people...

What's ironic about being late to your Optometrist appointment?

They can't see you.

What do you call a cat made out of Iron?

Fe-line

Why is it ironic that Jesus was a Carpenter?

Because his name are the two words that you say right after you hit your thumb with a hammer.

It's ironic that Alex Jones hates the LGBT community when he's secretly a drag queen.

His drag name is Miss Information.

When a man eats too much iron

He becomes Female

Is "iron man" another way of saying

Fe male?

Santa and his wife had a messy divorce after they both got colostomies.

After encouragement from friends and family, they both joined the support group for people with colostomies ironically named The Semicolon. Due to the help and support they got, they ended up remarrying.

Two independent Clauses were able to be joined as a result of The Semicolon.

What is a spell that you can learn with a frying pan?

Cast Iron.

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Jack staggers into an emergency room with two black eyes and a five iron wrapped around his throat.

The doctor asks him what happened.

“Well it was like this,” said Jack. “I was having a quiet game of golf with my wife when she sliced her ball into a pasture of cows.

We went to look for it and while I was rooting around, I noticed one of the cows had something white at its rear end.<...

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Iron Man is a superhero.

"Iron Woman" is a sexist command

The most ironic part about working at the unemployment office is...

If you get fired, you still have to come in the next day.

Steel producers are grappling with the high price of iron...

...they say it's a terrible ore deal.

(An ore-ful joke, I know.)

I live alone, so I am ironing my own clothes

Oh, the irony.

Why is buying raw iron such a pain in the ass?

I don't know. It's just a real ore deal.

Ironically the guy who attacked Dave Chapelle got his Humerus bone dislocated

There was no arm done on Dave though.

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It's ironic that Thelma and Louise spend an entire film challenging sexist stereotypes

And then die at the end because of their terrible driving.

A woman sat next to a man at a bar

She leaned over and whispered into his ear "I want you to make me feel like a real woman."

The man finished his beer, stood up, took off his shirt & said "I need this ironed."

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Did you hear about the soldier that impressed his CO by making a bugle entirely out of scrap iron?

The CO liked it so much declared the next day Ferrous Bugler's Day Off.

A Blonde guy burned two ears...

So they were asking him at the hospital how it happened.

He said, ''I was ironing my clothing and the phone rang... So, instead of the phone I picked up the iron and burned my ear...''

''But how the heck did you burn the other ear?'' The doctor asked.

''They called back.''

I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom.

Until they are flashing behind you.

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Don’t use Viagra if you’re also taking an iron supplement.

You'll spend several hours facing north.

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My grandfather once boasted he could hit a man between the buttocks from 200 yards with iron sights

That's quite the crack shot

What plant is made of iron and steel?

Power plant

What weighs more? 50kg of Iron or a 50kg woman?

The woman. They always lie about their weight.

Iron Man is a very confusing character.

I know he’s a guy but he could’ve been Fe Male.

What do you call a cat wearing an iron armor?

(Fe)line

Why did Iron Man become a trans woman?

Because she realized she was Fe-male!

what's it called when Iron Man makes a tire?

A ferrous-wheel

It's quite ironic that "strap on"…

…backwards, spells 'no parts'…

Rumor has it Marvel is gonna make a movie about Iron Woman

The cast will have a FeMale.

Welcome Home Honey

A mature lady decided to go check up on her new daughter-in-law while her son was at work. She knocked on the door and the daughter-in-law opened it, she was stood there completely naked. The mother-in-law asked "What are you doing!" The Daughter-in-law said, I'm welcoming my handsome new husband ho...

What do roundworms and a toad with no iron have in common?

They're both anemotodes.




Not technically OC, my mom came up with it

Wouldn’t it be ironic if Trump was brought down

By a virus from China , named after a Mexican beer?

For the golfers: if you get caught in a thunderstorm on the golf course, grab your one iron and hold it up over your head.

Not even God can hit a one iron.

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My aunt's star sign was cancer, pretty ironic how she died

She was eaten by a giant crab

Iron Man never got along with Aquaman.

He has rust issues

Did you hear that you can buy iron and carbon for the price of just 1 alloy?

What a steel!

Co-worker asked me, "If Batman, who is a regular human but with gadgets, teamed up with Superman, who has supernatural powers, and they fought against Iron Man, another regular human with gadgets, who teamed up with Thor, who has super powers, who would be the winners?"

"Your parents when you move out."

Why aren't Incel's big fans off Iron-Man?

They're just not big on Fe-Males, that's all.

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Being a teenager is the worst. I've jerked off more than I've studied.

Which is ironic. One of then requires you to clear up space, look up the material, make sure theres no distractions around you and focus.

....and the other ones studying.

What is black and screams real loud?

Stevie Wonder answering the iron.

How did Helen Keller burn her fingertips?

She was trying to read the waffle iron.

Why is it a bad idea to iron your four leaf clover?

Because you shouldn't press your luck!

Why did Iron Man play music at my party?

Because he was RDJ

Heard a rumor that Iron Man is going to be the newest Disney Princess...

...they're always on the lookout for a strong Fe male character.

What did the iron say to the gold when it tried to wake him up?

AU, get out of here!

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Therapist: Have you gotten over your fetish of being starched, pressed, and folded?

Me: We’re still ironing out the kinks

You wanna hear about something ironic? My grandma’s zodiac sign was Cancer.

She was killed... by a giant crab.

Woman stopped me at the station and said for twenty bucks she'd do things my wife would never dream of ...

I gave her twenty bucks and she ironed three shirts.

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The only thing more ironic than a mother calling her son a son of a bitch...

Is a kid calling his father a motherfucker.

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My aunts sign was cancer so her death was ironic....

Eaten alive by a giant ass crab

The word QUEUE is ironic.

It's just a Q with a bunch of silent letters waiting in line.

It's ironic that Parasite won.

Because there was no host for the Oscars.

Huh? Huh?
I'll show myself out.

Thank you for the silver star!. My first!

A mother-in-law stopped by unexpectedly.....

She knocks on the door, then immediately walks in. She is shocked to see her daughter-in-law laying on the couch completely naked.
"What are you doing?" She asked.

"I'm waiting for Jeff to come home from work," the daughter-in-law answered.

"But you're naked!" the mother-in-law ex...

Golfing in Heaven

Jesus and Moses were playing golf one day. They arrived at a tough, 215-yard par three, all over water. Jesus had the honor and stepped up to the tee with a 4 iron. Moses tried to convince him that it wasn’t the right club, “That’s not enough club; you need at least a 4 wood.”

Jesus responded...

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A farmer is worried that his sex life with his wife is getting a bit dry They go to see a therapist, who asks them what they think the problem is.

The wife says, "I just don't have time for it, I'm too busy cooking, cleaning, doing the laundry and everything else. Sex is starting to lose its appeal".

The farmer is disheartened to hear this, but listens to the therapist, who tells him, "You need to change things up a bit. You'll just hav...

Which historical period has the tidiest shirts?

The Iron Age

Two old guys are having a chat in a nursing home, when a naked old woman with a walker crosses very slowly in front of them

First guy says, "Elmer - what the hell was that?"

Second guy says, "Joe - I have no idea, but it certainly needed ironing!"

Iron Man stands in front of his magic mirror one morning,

"Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's the ferrous of them all?"

What is Iron Man when he removes his suit?

Stark naked.

My mum's starsign was cancer, pretty ironic how she died...

She was eaten by a massive crab

Landmark

As a Delta Air Lines jet was flying over Arizona on a clear day, the co-pilot was providing his passengers with a running commentary about landmarks over the PA system."Coming up on the right, you can see the Meteor Crater, which is a major tourist attraction in northern Arizona. It was formed when ...

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Two friends run into each other

One of the friends has his face badly burned on both sides. Curious, the first guy asks him what happened to his face. The guy tells him that he was watching TV while his old lady was ironing clothes next to him, the phone rang and when he went to answer it, he picked up the ironing machine instead....

Iron-man and Silver Surfer are teaming up

The are alloys now.

Where did the drunk owl end up?

Owlcoholics Hoooononymous.

Ironically my ex-wife ended up in rehab for alcohol abuse less than a month after coming up with and telling her this joke.

When I become a superhero, I'm going to call myself "Ironic".

So when there's trouble & I'm running away, people will be like "Isn't that ironic?!"

I heard Barcelona is ironing out a new deal with their best player.

It might get Messi

My iron broke due to overheating

The irony

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Update on an Ironic Classic

A man goes to the doctor, says he's depressed, says life seems harsh, heartless and cruel. He's all alone in a threatening world, and what lies ahead is vague and uncertain. Doctor says, "Treatment is simple. Great clown Pagliacci is in town tonight. Go and see him, that should pick you up." Man bur...

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"Why do you women use hair straightening irons?" "To make our hair look longer!"

Doctor: "How did you manage to get that burn on your penis, Sir?"

Thereʻs nothing ironic about rain on your wedding day.

It’s normal for a couple to have a bridal shower.

It took me quite a while to iron out this joke

There once was a greedy ore mining magnate who wished that everything he touched would turn into iron. He was careful to always wear gloves except when making huge loads of ore, except for one day when a mosquito landed on his knee. Not thinking, the magnate slapped his leg with his exposed hand. Hi...

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