Iron deficiency gang rise up!

Then take a few moments.

My friends zodiac sign was cancer, ironic how he died

Eaten by a giant crab.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So, if Fe = Iron and Male = Man

I’ve been having sex with IronMan all these years.

What's an ironic and hypocritical sentence?

"I'm not telling you what to do, so don't tell me what to do!"

Fun fact: The USSR didn’t have iron mines.

They had iron **ours.**

What do you call a woman with iron deficiency?

Male

What did sodium say to the iron?

She's Na(t) Fe(r) me.

The word QUEUE is ironic.

It's just a Q with a bunch of silent letters waiting in line.

I came across a poker table that had playing cards made of cast iron.

I asked the person who was handing out the cards to the players if they made the cards themselves, but they kept saying in the most poetic way that it wasn't them, because that would be illegal.

I think they're lying; whoever smelt it dealt it, whoever did the rhyme did the crime, and whoever...

Some guys wake up and pump iron...

I wake up and pump protein.

Told my wife that this afternoon after getting lucky this morning. I think her eyes rolled into the back of her head.

I'll probably be working out solo for a while.

Captain America, The Hulk, Thor, and Iron Man all get Lego sets for Christmas.

"Avengers, assemble!"

Why Is Iron (II) Oxide So Ugly?

Because it's FeO.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Honey why do you iron your hair?

Her: To make it look longer

Later

Doctor: Let's see Luis explain to me how you burned your penis.

What do you call a cat that’s iron man?

Feline

Iron man should have joined the London philharmonic orchestra.

He'd have made a good conductor.

What do you call Matthew Broderick after he takes his Iron deficiency pills?

Ferrous Bueller

It's ironic the character's name is Luke Skywalker...

He never walks on any skies, but he does spend the majority of the series "hand solo."

If Iron Man and the Silver Surfer teamed up...

They'd be alloys.

I was having an argument with my friend the other day

He was saying that I didn't understand what irony was!

Which was ironic as we were both waiting for a bus at the time.

What's ironic about a casual screw?

He nuts and bolts

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A guy gets hit by a bus and finds himself in front of iron gates. Confused he asks where he is, "Hell," said the devil "but before you get overly concerned, it's not as bad as you think it is..."

"What!!" said the guy, starting to panic. "How can that be, I'm a good person, this can't be right, it can't be!"

"Calm down," said the devil, "the rules for going upstairs are a lot stricter than people realise - and besides, like I said before, it's really not that bad here."

Unconvi...

What is Iron Man's least favorite operating system?

ThanOS

The difference between ironman and iron woman is....

One is a super hero, the other is a command.

And this type of rubbish joke is why my wife left me and the only comfort I have is reddit....I'm the real joke here.

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The maid asked her boss, the wife for a raise, and the wife was upset.

The wife asked, "Now, Helen, why do you think you deserve a pay increase?"

Helen: "There are three reasons. The first is that I iron better than you."

Wife: "Who said that?"

Helen: "Your husband."

Wife: "Oh."

Helen: "The second reason is that I am a better cook tha...

What do you call Iron Man when he's jammed inside his suit?

Tony Stuck

I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom until

they are flashing behind you.

When I become a superhero, I'm going to call myself "Ironic".

So when there's trouble & I'm running away, people will be like "Isn't that ironic?!"

Everyone wants Spider-Man to be the next Iron Man

But I feel like there will always be a Stark difference

So Iron Man and Bruce Banner walk into a bar.

They both grab a stool at the bar and start slamming shots. Tony, a notorious alcoholic, maintains his composure.

He turns over to Bruce as he hits more back. He sees Bruce getting tipsy and a bit green.

Tony: "You okay there?"

Hulk: "Hulk smashed!"

Why doesn't iron form a good bond with other metals?

Because it has rust issues!

A politician dies...

And ends up standing in front of the pearly gates. Saint Peter looks at him for a second, flicks through his book, and finds his name.

"So, you're a politician..." "Well, yes, is that a problem?" "Oh no, no problem. But we've recently adopted a new system for people in your line of work, and ...

I just saw my wife trip and fall over with the basket of clothes she just ironed.

I watched it all unfold.

What do you call a molecular ring of six iron atoms?

A ferrous wheel.

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A man staggered into a hospital with a concussion, multiple bruises, two black eyes, and a five-iron wrapped around his throat.

Naturally, the doctor asked him,

“What happened to you?”

“Well,” said the man,

“I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife, when at a difficult hole, we both spliced our balls into a cow pasture. We went to look for them and while I was looking around, I noticed one of the...

What do you call your mother ironing your clothes for you

Free press

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A guy walks into a doctors office with a 5 iron wrapped around his neck and two black eyes.

“What happened to you?” asked the doctor

“Well it all started when my wife and I were golfing and by accident she hit the ball into a cow field. When she went to investigate, I saw the ball in the cow’s ass. I went and lifted the tail of the cow and that’s when I made my mistake.”

“And...

What do you call an ironic idiot?

An oxymoron.

My wife has an iron deficiency.

In fact, she’s deficient with most household appliances.

Moses and Jesus were golfing and Jesus says "Hand me a nine iron,"

Moses replies, "You can't use a nine iron for that shot!". Jesus say "Arnold Palmer uses a nine iron I'm going to use one,"
The next hole Jesus says "Moses give me the nine iron," Moses replies again "You can't use a nine iron for this shot,"
Jesus says,"Arnold Palmer uses a nine iron I'm goin...

Why can’t Iron man wear Spiderman’s suit?

He’s dead

What weighs more? 50kg of Iron or a 50kg woman?

The woman. They always lie about their weight.

What do you call it when Iron-Man wears the Ant-Man suit?

Tiny Stark

What did the bridge say to the nervous iron worker?

Truss me.

Where do they send the ironic Russian emperors?

The Tsar Chasm

Why does Thor iron his cloak?

Because he knows what a crisp hem's worth.

Why don't you iron four-leaf clovers?

Because you don't want to press your luck.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was planning to go out one Saturday night...

...and I wanted to look my best, so the day before I wrote myself a reminder: iron shirt.

Come Saturday, I'd totally forgotten what that note meant.

Anyway, long story short, I looked fantastic when I hit the town in a suit of armour.

My friend told me that I have no idea what the word "irony" means.

Which was ironic, because I literally just finished jacking off the dog.

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Isn't it ironic...

that there's no Tolkien black man in The Lord of the Rings?

It's ironic...

Most anti-vax mothers are actually vaccinated.

Which, depending on what you believe, might explain their autism.

All Moms are like Iron Man

Because they're (Fe)male. Happy Mother's Day!

a man takes a day off work to go golfing

He’s ready to tee off when he hears a frog, “ribbit, 9 iron”

The man is confused, but the frog speaks again, “ribbit, 9 iron”

To prove the frog wrong, the man pulls out his 9 iron and swings at the ball.

Hole in one.

The man bends down and says “you must be a lucky frog...

Time to invest! Iron is becoming scarce.

First Iron Man and then the Iron Throne? There can't be much iron left.

A man ironed his four leaf clover

He was pressing his luck

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It’s ironic Whitney Houston did all those Pepsi endorsements

Then over dosed on Coke

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

God and Jesus were ironing out the last few details of his life on earth.

"We just need to figure out your mode of death," God said. "We've narrowed it down to crucifixion or killer bees. Which do you prefer?"

Jesus thought about it for a few minutes and then said, "I think I'll go with crucifixion."

And that's why Catholics around the world make the sign of...

What's black and screams?

Stevie Wonder answering the iron.

What does Iron Man become when he falls into water?

Ion man.

I’ve been experimenting with iron, carbon, and aluminum to make a better toilet. I’m going to write a whitepaper on my results.

It’s titled “The FeCAl Matter.”

I don't tell jokes about metal

They're too ironic

When YouTube keeps recommending Iron Man videos after you seen Endgame

“Everywhere I go, I see his face”

Ironically, Woody and Buzz ...

were also the names of Andy's Mum's toys.

What do I usually say when people ask me who I think will sit on the Iron Throne?

It Varys

Ironically, Jared Fogel both began and abruptly ended his career by simply

Trying to get into "smaller pants"..

What do you call it when a wizard hits you with a frying pan

Cast iron

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A widowed mother of 3 is worried her children aren’t getting enough iron in their diet.

Not sure what to do, she mixes bb’s into their oatmeal. Later that day the first child comes running in the kitchen:

“Mama Mama - Guess what!?! I peed a bb!!”

“Oh, that’s good,” the mother assured, “that means you’re getting your iron.” And she gave the little tyke a cookie and sent ...

Co-worker asked me, "If Batman, who is a regular human but with gadgets, teamed up with Superman, who has supernatural powers, and they fought against Iron Man, another regular human with gadgets, who teamed up with Thor, who has super powers, who would be the winners?"

"Your parents when you move out."

It's quite ironic that "strap on"…

…backwards, spells 'no parts'…

In what city do kids get iron instead of coal for Christmas?

Santa Fe

What's the difference between Iron Man and Aluminum Man?

Iron Man stops the villains but Aluminum Man just foils their plans.

There was once a friendly mute ghost, ironically named sound.

Sound was a very social ghost so he showed up to several seances, but every time he couldn’t talk to the people who had summoned him because he was mute, but he tried desperately to communicate anyways. He would slam doors and knock over lamps and turn on and off random appliances. After all of that...

A middle eastern restaurant owner bought a new waffle iron.

He wasn't sure how to use it, so he chopped up some chickpeas, rolled them in flour and pressed them between the grates.

The mayor of the town stopped by that day, excited to try the new dish.

But when he took his first bite, the mayor declared it was so bad he would ban it from being ...

My new iron is so bad it’s a joke!

It’s had me in creases all day

A phallus shaped potato ruled the world with an iron fist.

He was a Dic-tater.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you get if you buy an iron sex doll?

Titanus

I lost an eye as a child when a large book fell from a shelf onto my face as I slept.

I hold no remorse though. Ironically the book that blinded me taught me the very path to justice that soothed my anger.

Good old bble.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two dyslexic bank robbers walk into a bank

“Get your hands up mother stickers this is a fuck up”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My aunt's star sign was cancer, pretty ironic how she died

She was eaten by a giant crab

My girlfriend said she was leaving me because I'm low on iron

My buddy told me, "Don't worry, there's plenty other deficiency."

A plane is going down over the Atlantic ocean...

As the passengers plummet to their doom, a woman stands up, rips off her shirt, and says, "WHICH ONE OF YOU SO CALLED MEN WILL MAKE ME FEEL LIKE A WOMAN?!" A man stands up, rips off his shirt, and says, "HERE, IRON THIS."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Greek, A German and An Italian get stranded after a plane crash.

They wander for days until finally they see something in the distance. They approach and are found by some local tribesmen and are accused of trespassing their village. Immediately they are led in front of the local leader:

"I am in a good mood so I will let you go if you participate in a sma...

The other day my friend was telling me i didnt know what irony meant

Which was ironic since we were at a bus stop

Edit: thanks for silver gold and front page, it means alot

An airplane is going to crash.

A female passenger jumps up and shouts " If I am going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman."

She removes her clothes and asks "Is there a worthy man that fulfill my last wish?"

A man stands up and remove his shirt and said "Here you go, Iron this"

What’s more ironic than waking up tired?

Dying in the living room.

hey guys im trying out jokes, What do you get when oxygen and iron meet?

Ah darn, I forgot the punchline. Sorry guys Im a little rusty

Why is Communism one of the most ironic words?

It's Capitalized

There is one villain Iron Man could never be mad at.

He finds Magneto just too darn attractive.

A man takes the day off of work to go golfing

A man takes the day off work to go out golfing. He is on the second hole when he notices a frog sitting next to the green.



He thinks nothing of it and is about to shoot when he hears, "Ribbit, 9 iron."



The man looks around and doesn't see anyone.



"Ribbit,...

Isn't it ironic that the fat acceptance movement...

barely has any movement at all?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A woman walks into a hospital with 2 burned ears

They ask "How on Earth did this happen?!"

"Well," The woman starts. "I was ironing my husband's shirt when the phone rang. I mistook the iron for my phone, and put it up to my ear, and that's how it got burned."

"And what about the other ear?"

The woman scoffed.

"The fuc...

What did people call Iron Man after he started playing "League of Legends?"

The Toxic Avenger.

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