UPJOKE
sodiumlithiumhydrogenlangbeinitecalciummineralanionelectrolysispotashsylvitecarnallitemagnesiumisotopesoapselenium

I asked my wife, “Did you know there’s a fruit which gives you your entire daily potassium requirement?”

Her: That’s bananas.

Me: I know. I was shocked too.
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Oxygen and Potassium went on a date, and apparently it was OK

But then we saw Oxygen getting together with Magnesium, and we were like, OMg Oxygen is cheating on Potassium! That is *not* OK!

But then when Nitrogen started flirting, Oxygen said NO.
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A guy goes up to a Mexican and asks if he knew what the symbol for potassium was

“¿Que?”
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The alligator was low on potassium

So I ran to the gatorade
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I heard a joke about oxygen and potassium. I’d say it was pretty OK.

Yea, I also heard that sodium was under assault.
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Oxygen and potassium went on a date...

...it went ok.

Oxygen and magnesium went on a date.

The other chemicals were like 'omg'!

Two noble gases went on a date.

There was no reaction.

Two protons went on a date.

There was no attraction.

Hydrogen and chlorine went on a date.

They felt...
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why are you afraid of Potassium peroxide?

Because it KO'd the shit out of U.

Doctor: Our tests show you have no magnesium or potassium in your body.

Patient: 0MG, 0K
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I have a friend whose favorite element is potassium.

I personally think it's "just 'K."
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Did you hear about the scientist who devoted his life to researching how to create potassium out of thin air?

Some could say... >!he’d gone bananas!<
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TIL "saltpeter" is a casual term for potassium nitrate.

The more you KNO...
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In my contacts, I should rename my crush to potassium

Because she is always responding with "K"
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TIL a Goose's beak is composed of 4 elements: Hydrogen, Oxygen, Nitrogen, and Potassium.

HONK
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

This should be a standard response to chemistry jokes

Flourine Uranium Carbon Potassium

Yttrium Oxygen Uranium

Arsenic Sulphur Tungsten Iodine Phosphorus Einsteinium

:)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I dropped my mixture of fluorine, uranium, carbon, and potassium.

FUCK

I got my test results back. Turns out I was dangerously low on magnesium and potassium.

0MG 0K.
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Oxygen and potassium walk into a bar

The bartender said "Ok"
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Recently, monkeys escaped from an animal testing lab and broke into the adjacent chemistry lab. Some ingested potassium metal and exploded.

There were Rhesus pieces everywhere.
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I went to my doctor for chest pains and he told me I have low potassium levels..

I said “K, your diagnosis is bananas”
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Many years ago, St. Peter introduced some antimony trisulfide and potassium chlorate to a small stick of wood.

It was a match made in heaven.
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Doctor: You appear to have potassium poisoning.

Mario: But I've avoided bananas my whole life!
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Give a man a fish, and you feed him for a day. ..

Give a man a fish, and you feed him for a day.

Give a man a fish laced with potassium cyanide, and you feed him for a lifetime.
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Is the KKK a good source of Potassium?

Yes, because they're all bananas.
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I knew a chemist who survived solely on oxygen and potassium.

When I asked him what he felt like, he said OK.
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My dad said there'd been an explosion at the potassium factory.

K boomer.
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I was hungry and low on potassium, He needed a device to help him weigh things, it seemed like a fair trade...

Banana for scale
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I was told that the friendship between sodium, potassium, and oxygen was bad.

I said, "Na. Pretty sure it is OK."
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What do you call a fruit that’s high in potassium and likes disorder?

A bananachist.
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How did Skrillex get Potassium Hydroxide all over the floor?

He dropped the base.
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If bananas have potassium...

Does that mean potatoes have banassium?
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Did you hear about the racist chemist?

He joined the Potassium Potassium Potassium
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Potassium and Oxygen hooked up

It would have been OK, if Potassium hadn't come first.

Bonus: Oxygen, Hydrogen, and Carbon always wear their best suits when they get together. They're a formyl group.
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Want to hear a joke about potassium?

K.

I was gonna tell a joke about sodium but then I was like, Na.
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Hydrogen asks his parents, Sodium and Potassium if he can go to a party.

First, he asks his mom, Sodium. He knows that she is very strict and she will probably say no.

"Na," she says, exactly what he expects

He decides to ask his dad. He is much less strict, and was in a good mood. Maybe he can let Hydrogen go to the party.

"k," he says
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Your mom is like potassium

She would literally react to any man she is given to
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An oxygen atom and a potassium atom were involved in a car accident

Fortunately, they came out OK
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What did the student say after learning all the symbols on the periodic table?

“Fluorine-Uranium-Carbon-Potassium this! Never again!”
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I always feel like I'm wasting a text message whenever I respond with just "K."

Now I write "Potassium" instead.
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What did the man say when his boss asked him to deal with some potassium?

K.
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Potassium would be the worst element to chat with

He (or she) would always reply with "K".
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What group do racist chemists join?

Potassium Potassium Potassium
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The way I see it, the March for Science has really turned out to be more of a parade for science puns than an actual protest.

And I'm totally Oxygen-Potassium with that.
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Joke I came up with (needs work)

So there are this brother and sister who live together, Cee and Sofie. Sofie says she has a date tonight, the guy will be over at 8 and that Cee will have to let him in while she gets all pampered up.


So later that evening, there is a knock at the door and Sofie shouts out from upstairs ...
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Gentlemen...BEHOLD! Puns.

What do you call a cool mushroom?...A fun guy!!!

A neutron walks into a bar. "I'd like a beer" he says. The bartender promptly serves up a beer. "How much will that be?" asks the neutron. "For you?" replies the bartender, "no charge"

A guy walks into a restaurant, and takes a seat. Acr...
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My favorite elements in the periodical chart are oxygen and potassium.

But most other people just find them O K.
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An Oxygen molecule go sees a doctor

"Doc, Im suffering from terrible cramps" says the Oxygen Molecule.

"That's an easy fix," says the doctor, "Just eat some Potassium and you'll be OK!"
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Friend 1 & Friend 2

Friend 1: did you know bananas have potassium

Friend 2: K
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Silver walked up to elements in a bar that was on fire. Silver said "Get out!"

Gold said "Aukay"

Potassium said "K"

Sodium said "Na"

Argon didn't react.
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Three atoms, hydrogen, helium, and oxygen walk into a bar.

They go up to the bartender, Germanium, and start to order their drinks, but soon realise they are short on cash.

Hydrogen says to Germanium, "Hey man, we've had a long week, bonding is hard. If we can make you laugh, can we drink for free tonight?"

Germanium thinks about it for a min...
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