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Combustion Jokes

What do South American governments and internal combustion engines have in common?

Both are measured in revolutions per minute.

The enthalpy change for a combustion reaction is always negative

In other words, fire is hot.

(chemistry joke, hope someone gets it...)

Ever heard of Spontaneous Human Combustion?

I have a friend named Sally. Well... she's not really a friend, but I knew her in high school. Anyways, one day she went out shopping. As she was strolling through the aisles, her arm caught fire! Just her arm and nothing else. It was a fascinating sight to see. A young woman flailing about the cere...

I once dated a girl who died because of spontaneous human combustion.

She was pretty hot.

Y'all ever just stop & think about all of the amazing, world changing, discoveries/inventions we use every day? Fire, the internet, refrigeration, the wheel, the combustion engine. My favorite invention?

The shovel. That was truly groundbreaking.

How do you turn a dinosaur into a horse?

Use an internal combustion engine

One day there was a fire in a wastebasket in the office of the Dean of Sciences. In rushed a physicist, a chemist, and a statistician.

The physicist immediately starts to work on how much energy would have to be removed from the fire to stop the combustion.
The chemist works on which reagent would have to be added to the fire to prevent oxidation.
While they are doing this, the statistician is setting fires to all the other...

Took me a month but I finally got to pull off this joke in real life

*Me and my friend had just finished watching a ton of conspiracy theory videos.*

Friend: It's crazy if some of that stuff is true. But the government is just hiding it from us.

Me: Yeah like monsters and aliens and stuff.

Friend: Yeah! And not to mention all the cool technology ...

Nothing warms my heart...

...quite like spontaneous combustion

Why Germans are so good at car engine manufacturing?

Because they have a lot of experience on combustion chambers

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