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atomoxygenelectrondimerparticleneutronprotonhydrogenatomsionspeckmolecularchemical elementionic bondradical

A group of organic molecules

A group of organic molecules were having a party, when a group of robbers broke into the room and robbed all the precious jewels. A tall, strong man, armed with a gun came into the room and thrashed the robbers one by one. The guests were very grateful and asked for his name, to which he replied, "M...

11 sodium molecules walk into a bar.

The bartender says, "Hey Jude!"

What do you call 6.022 x 10^23 molecules of avocado?

A guac-mole
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What did Michael Jackson say when he found two molecules of helium?

HeHe

Anybody here heard of Molecules?

He’s the smallest of the Greek heroes!

Three Helium molecules walk into a bar

The bartender asks, "what's so funny?"

Scientists got together and decided that humanity had come a long way and no longer needed God.

So they picked one scientist to go and tell Him that they were done with Him. The scientist walked up to God and said, “God, we've decided that we no longer need you. We’re to the point where we can clone people, manipulate atoms, build molecules, fly through space, and do many other miraculous th...

A fish made from two sodium molecules

Two-Na

Why did the 22140857×10^23 molecules of Methyl Acetate go to jail?

It was a Mole-Ester!

Two Molecules are Talking to Each Other...

The first one asks, "Why don't you like me?"

The water molecule says, "I'm sorry, but I'm just not that attracted to you."

The other cries, "Is it because I'm fat?!"

What did the scientist say when he mixed 2oxygen molecules with Yttrium, Boron, and Hydrogen

OH BOY

How many molecules are in a guacamole?

Avocado's Number.

Do you know why all the O2 molecules are intelligent?

Because an stupid one would be an Oxy-Moron.

What's guacamole made of?

Guacamolecules

Where do molecules go when they're misaligned?

The chiralpractor!

Electrons

Two molecules are walking down the street. They accidently bump into each other, and one of them looks down, shakes his head, and says, "Damn, I lost an electron." The other molecule is surprised and says, "Are you sure??" The other one says, "Yeah, I'm positive."

Some words sounding similar can be confusing. For example, Entropy and Atrophy.

Entropy is simply a measure of how much the energy of atoms and molecules become more spread out in a process and can be defined in terms of statistical probabilities, whereas Atrophy, is what you get if you win something.

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A scientist walks into a bar and sees a depressed man.

"What's wrong?" says the scientist.

"I have nothing to live for," the man replies miserably. "I'm an absolute nobody. I don't have anything to offer the world. I'm completely unspecial and just another average Joe. I don't even know why I'm here. What's the point? What's my purpose?"

T...

my 14 year old came back with this after his biology class

Q. who was the Jewish prophet that led the water molecules across the partially permeable membrane?
A. osmoses

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A penis enlargement drug made of duck beaks.

About half a year ago, Elon Musk and Bill Gates were taking a holiday together at an undisclosed location somewhere deep in the tropical rainforest. During their stay they encountered several tribes of natives. The members of those tribes all looked similar to each other, with one very noticeable ex...

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Why Don't Jews Like Ions?

They prefer their molecules free of charge.

What do you get when you cross a blind burrowing mammal with a Roman demigod?

Molecules

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Little Johnny joke

Teacher was going over words in class, and asked her students to use definitely in a sentence. Little Johnny was squirming, so he called out, "Teacher, I need to go take a shit!" She told him to sit down. "You can't go to the bathroom until you have used definitely in a sentence."

He thought...

What is Donald trump’s favorite chemical process?

When two molecules bind temporarily because of random polarization
Oh f*k it it’s van der walls forces

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