What did the aluminium say to Paul Simon?

You can call me Al

What happens if you eat aluminium foil?

You sheet metal

If I could be any super hero, I think I'd be Aluminium Man...

My superpower would be foiling crime...

I hate going to aluminium recycling facilities

Its soda-pressing.

A man was recruited for a space colony

He had been posted to a planet 14 lightyears from Sol. As his ship landed on the planet's glowing surface, he saw a car waiting for him.

"Welcome to Anti-Earth," The driver said, "don't worry we are going to change the name soon.I am here to take you to your quarters and show you the colony o...

I recently called an old Engineering buddy of mine...

I recently called an old Engineering buddy of mine and asked what he was working on these days.
He replied that he was working on "Aqua-thermal treatment of ceramics, aluminium and steel under a constrained environment."
I was impressed until, upon further inquiry, I learned that he was washin...

Me: Is this birdcage made out of nickel?

Pet Shop Worker: No, I think its aluminium

Me: So there's no nickel in this cage?

PSW: Don't do it

Me: It's a nickeless cage

PSW: LEAVE!

Back when I was a Scooby Doo villain I had an allotment....

Every time I went to tend to my vegetables I would find them covered in thin sheets of aluminium.

Those pesky kids were always foiling my plot.

(I'm sorry)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A farmer had a chicken...

Every evening, the farmer put it in its coop made of mud, but in the morning, it somehow managed to get out from the back. So, the farmer made a wooden coop, put it in and nicely bolted the door. But in the morning, it still broke out from the back. Unable to figure out how, the farmer made an alumi...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man writes to an advice column

I really need some advice, i just don't know what to do.

I have suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me. The usual signs are there, the phone rings, but if I answer, the caller hangs up. My wife has been going out with “the girls” a lot recently, although when I ask t...

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