UPJOKE
hydrogenmagnesiumberylliumpotassiumsodiumelectrolysislithium chloridelithium oxidemetalboronbasealkali metaltritiumaluminiumsulfide

What charges can you expect when you mix sodium chloride and lithium ion?

A salt and battery charges.

Did you hear what happened to Lithium?

He was arrested for battery charges. Some say he's bi-polar.

What do you call people who work for Elon Musk's lithium operations?

Minors.

Why can't you trust a Lithium Ion battery?

Because they're always Li-ion!

I partied with lithium tantalum fluoride

it was LiTaF

Modern batteries would not work without ionized lithium.

The ions appear to be pretty volatile, I've heard a lot of electronics factories are afraid of unionisation.

Why’s lithium illegal?

Because it’s a salt and battery

That is astounding Holmes! How did you deduce it was lithium poisoning that ended that poor chap's life?

Element three, my dear Watson.

Doctor: I'd give him Lithium for his severe depression.

If that doesn't work, Barium.

Joke my scinence teacher dropped on us

A lithium atom walked into a bar and said

"Hey I think I left some electrons in here last night, have you seen any?"

The bar tender replied, "No, are you sure you lost them?"

The lithium atom replied "Yes I'm positive..."

What did x æ a-12 got when he was given a lithium iron battery, to reboot himself?

Li-Fe

Some (eye-rolling) Chemistry Pick-up Lines for the Valentine's season

* Are you made of Carbon? Because it feels like my world revolves around you.
* You're my Lithium.
* Are you an anion? Because I'm positive we're meant to be together.
* My heart is made of Gallium. It melts when you're close to me.
* Are you Fluorine? Because i can't seem to get myself ...

What do you call someone who says you can chemically bond Lithium and Argon?

Well, just ask them what the bond would be named.

What elements make up life?

Lithium and Iron

long. Two cops lead an unfortunate man into a padded cell

Instantly the men in white coats grab him, wrench his arms behind his back and, when he screams in pain, the psychiatrist tears down his trousers and jags him with a needle.

As they're carrying the unconcious body out the younger of the cops, shocked, says:

"Was that really necessary? ...

In the year 2030,

In the year 2030, space travel was expanding more than ever, and life science was seeing new revolutions every few weeks. Inventions in robotics and engineering were being created almost daily. But this new world came with a downside, the amount of harsh chemicals in the air were causing cancer to d...

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