This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

When I was 13, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend with big tits.

When I was 16, I got a girlfriend with big tits, but there was no passion, so I decided I needed a passionate girl with zest for life. In college I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional. Everything was an emergency; she was a drama queen, cried all the time and threatened suicide. So I ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Smiths had no children and decided to use a proxy father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr.Smith kissed his wife and said, "I'm off. The man should be here soon."

Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer rang the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. "Good morning madam. You don't know me but I've come to...."
"Oh, no need to explain. I've been expecting you," Mrs. Smith cut in.

"Really..?" the photographer asked. "Well, good....

The government in Egypt has asked the city's taxi drivers to drive around Cairo sounding their car horns. It is hoped that the familiar sounds of the city will induce a return to tranquility and normality following the recent pandemic.

Operation Toot 'n Calm 'Em will last for the rest of the week.

Samantha didn’t get the astronomy scholarship she hoped for.

But the school did name a cluster of stars after her. It was a constellation prize.

I've always hoped Whoopi Goldberg would marry my friend.

His name is Ben Cushion.

Many people hoped to win a Nobel prize this year

But just one of them was Goodenough.

I’ve always hoped for the opportunity to save my ex from a fiery car crash.

I don’t know if I would take that opportunity, but I would certainly like the chance to.

I just talked to a furloughed federal employee and told him McConnell might schedule a vote soon to reopen the government. Was there anything he particularly hoped for?

Mitch better have my money.

The curry I ordered wasn't as spicy I had hoped

That really left me in a phall mood.

After a long night at the pub I knocked on the door quietly so I wouldn't wake the kids. I stood there and hoped that my wife was awake, then when there was no sign of her I shouted "Let me in!"

A man opened the door, and said, "Sir, please step away from my taxi."

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