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Wisher Jokes

What to say when someone knocks on the door of the public bathroom stall you're in

"We don't want any more visitors, well-wishers, or distant relations."

If they reply "Well what about old friends?", then you really should probably consider if you're decent before letting Gandalf in.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Nsfw.The hard of hearing genie.

Three people ran into a genie on their way home.
The genie was holding a sign that read he will grant one wish per person, but the he is hard of hearing so wish carefully.
The first wisher, a young man, yelled his wish.
A twelve inch penis.
What he got was a twelve inch pianist.
The s...

A lawyer dies and goes to heaven

Upon arriving at the pearly gates he sees a great crowd of welcomers and well wishers. It’s a huge party, all for him, with welcome banners, a choir, the whole shebang.

St Peter claps him in the shoulders and says “welcome home at last my long awaited child.”

“I don’t understand, why a...

A man goes to a funeral ...

After the regular round of eulogies and speeches and well wishers, he leans over the pew and asks the widow:

"Mind if I say a word?"

“No, of course not”, she says. "Please do."

The man stands up, clears his throat and says:

"Abacus"

Then promptly sits down.
...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An Irishman reels in a magic lamp...

Two Irish men are fishing on a lake when one of them reels in something strange. The Irishman sees he has reeled in a magic lamp and a genie pops out. The genie says to the one man "thank you for freeing me from that lamp. I have been trapped in there for ages. To show my thanks I shall grant you on...

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