Squirrels have faith

The Presbyterian church called a meeting to decide what to do about their squirrel infestation. After much prayer and consideration, they concluded that the squirrels were predestined to be there, and they should not interfere with God’s divine will.

At the Baptist church, the squirrels had ...

I went to a faith healing session at the local community centre last night but it was absolute rubbish.

Even the fella in the wheelchair got up and walked out.

An elderly lady was well-known for her faith and for her boldness in talking about it. She would stand on her front porch and shout "PRAISE THE LORD!"

Next door to her lived an atheist who would get so angry at her proclamations he would shout, "There ain't no Lord!!"
Hard times set in on the elderly lady, and she prayed for GOD to send her some assistance. She stood on her porch and shouted "PRAISE THE LORD. GOD I NEED FOOD!! I AM HAVING A HAR...

God tells these 3 guys that the vehicle they'll be driving around in heaven will be a reflection of how faithful they were to their wives

The first guy was cheating on his wife like every month, so God gave him a Chevy to drive around in heaven.

The second guy cheated on his wife once or twice over the years, but overall was pretty faithful, so God gave him an Acura to drive around in heaven.

The third guy never cheated ...

Faithful Wife

On the occasion of their 50th Anniversary, a man asked his wife, "Honey, you have been with me through thick and thin, and gave me constant love and support, however I just have to know whether you have actually been faithful to me all this time."

To which the wife replies, "To be honest, I h...

A Priest, a Rabbi and an Imam are discussing who's religion most easily creates new converts. After 2 days they decide that whoever can convert a bear to their faith fully would win and they would return 24 hrs later .....

The Priest and the Imam are back first, the Priest proclaims to have held a discussion with a bear and it would be attending his church next week.

The Imam says he too held a discussion with a bear, but it will be in the mosque tomorrow to begin studying for it's new faith.

After a whi...

As a life long devout Christian, and after many struggles in the past 2 years especially I'm so glad my faith in God has not wavered one bit and he has answered every single one of my prayers

They seemed to all be no.

A priest begins to wonder if his religion is really the only ‘true’ religion. In his search he finds an Internet forum with like mined faith/spiritual seekers, and quickly befriends a Jewish Rabbi, and a Buddhist monk.

The three debate for months, with no real progression as such, until a post appears from a new user, claiming to be the purest, living descendant of Adam & Eve. He further claims, that to those who truly believe, he will grant the secret to human evolution.
All but the monk immediately dismi...

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Karen goes to the doctor not feeling well. Karen: Doctor, I’ve not been feeling well lately. .

Doctor: I’ve looked at your lab reports and I’m afraid I have some bad news.

Karen: Don’t give me this lab nonsense. I believe in homeopathic medicine, faith-based approaches and healing crystals. All my life, they have never failed me. Now will you do things my way or do I need to see the ma...

A Higgs boson walks into a church, goes into the confessional and tells the priest that he’s thinking of leaving the church

The priest says, “my son, you can’t leave the church!”

The Higgs boson replies “but I must, I am having a real crisis of faith!”

The priest says, “you don’t understand, if you leave then we can’t have mass!”

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A priest and a rabbi were sitting next to each other on an airplane. After a while, the priest turned to the rabbi and asked, "Is it still a requirement of your faith that you not eat pork?"

The rabbi responded, "Yes, that is still one of our beliefs."

The priest then asked, "Have you ever eaten pork?"


To which the rabbi replied, "Yes, on one occasion I did succumb to temptation and tasted a ham sandwich."

The priest nodded in understanding and went on with his<...

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A mail carrier is about to retire…

So he puts a note in all of his mailboxes letting people know that his last day would be at the end of the week.

On his last day, neighbors were showering him with gifts and praise for his many years of faithful service.

As he approaches a house in his route, he realizes that he’s ne...

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A British soldier returns from war after 4 years against the Germans.

His faithful wife, longing for sex all these years, dresses up in her sheerest lingerie, hoping to entice her returning husband. She waits by the door as her husband enters and her lingerie gently slips off her body and she stands there naked. “Darling, look what the wind blew away”, she says seduct...

The God of Thunder crossed the skies, astride his faithful filly.

"I'm Thor!" He cried. His horse replied,
"You forgot your thaddle, thilly!"

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Have faith in the Pfizer vaccine. Don't forget they make Viagra?

If they can raise the dead, they can save the living.

Three Kingdoms.

So, there's a far-off place that consists of a perfectly triangular lake surrounded by land, with three kingdoms on the three sides of the lake.



The first kingdom is rich and powerful, filled with wealthy, prosperous people.

The second kingdom is more humble, but has its fair ...

Darth Vader walks into a record store

Darth Vader walks into a record store and asks if they have a copy of George Michael's first studio album. The clerk says they are sold out, to which Vader responds - I find your lack of Faith disturbing!

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A man asks a farmer if he can work for a night's lodging and a meal.

Farmer gets a knock on his door, it's a man in his mid-thirties who looks like he's been traveling a while. The man asks if he could earn a meal and a place to stay for the night.

"Do you have any skills?" The farmer asks.

"Well, I do have a rare gift -- I can communicate with animals....

An amish man, a hippie and jesus walk into a bar.

An amish man, a hippie and jesus walk into a bar.
An old man at the bar turns to them and surprised, he asks: “Why is it that three men that are so different from each other travelling together?”
The Hippie says “I want to learn the ways of the amish to be freed from materialism.”
The...

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Voodoo dick

So a older gentleman had fallen in love with a very attractive young woman (maybe around 21 or 22) she was a very sexually active woman and he was always able to please. One day his job called him out on a business trip and he’s be gone for atleast a week. The young woman promised to be faithful but...

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My first military parachute jump

I’m deathly afraid of heights, My best friend and I were scheduled for our first jump. As we rose to 6000 ft.my nerves got the best of me and I slowly moved to the back of the line of ten other Airmen waiting to jump. I watched in horror as my buddy took his leap of faith along with the rest of the ...

Carrie Fisher runs into George Micheal in the afterlife...

Carrie Fisher runs into George Micheal in the afterlife...

She says, "Oh man, I'm a huge fan! I've got every one of your albums except the first one." He says, "I find your lack of 'Faith' disturbing".

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At the urinal

Two man, pissing side by side.

"Sorry sir, do you happen to be of the Jewish faith?"

"Erh... yes I am."

"You are from Krakow?"

"Yes."

"And did you always go to the small synagogue in the Lipowitz Street?"

"Yes, do we know each other?"

"I don't think s...

God and the Biker, I will grant you one wish...

A biker was riding on a highway along a California beach when suddenly the sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, the Lord said: "Because you have tried to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish."

The biker pulled over and said: "Build a bridge to Hawaii so I  c...

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A man is about to marry a woman with a beautiful younger sister

A week before the wedding the younger sister invites him over, under the guise of discussing something for the wedding.

Once he arrives, she proposes that they should have sex as he’s still a free man and she knows he finds her more attractive than her sister that he is to wed.

The man...

A woman named Lorraine Lee was taking her boyfriend, Frank, to visit her family for the first time.

Frank entered the house and shook hands with Mr. and Mrs. Lee. There was one other person at the house, and that was Lorraine's sister, a drop dead gorgeous woman named Claire.

Claire whispered something to Frank, and the two of them went upstairs together. Lorraine was suspicious, so five mi...

A Christian missionary walks through the savannah when he suddenly encounters two lions.

The two lions seem to be hungry, so the missionary does the thing he knows best. He kneels down and prays: "Please god make faithful Christians out of these lions."

He looks up and witnesses the two lions lying on the floor with folded paws speaking:

"God is great!

God is good!...

Which fruit is the most faithful?

Cantaloupe, because it *cantaloupe*

With money you can buy land; with faith you can move mountains.

With strip mining you can do both.

Funny you should come to me…

A Jewish son comes home from university and tells his father, “Dad, after graduating from university, I have decided I can longer stay in the Hebrew faith, I’m a Christian now.”

Distraught the father goes to the rabbi of his synagogue and tells the rabbi, “I brought him up in the temple, we s...

A man asks his fiancee to get married...

She happily accepts his proposal, but he sets out a clear condition if they're to marry.

"I have a closet at the end of the hall, and I keep it locked. That is my personal space and I don't want anyone, including my wife, to ever enter. Can you agree to that?"

She thinks his request a ...

two overburdened bookshelves sat in a library

Two overburdened book shelves sat in a library.

One says to the other "I can't take this weight, I feel ima crumble"

The second responds "just have faith in yourshelf"

How do you know Mike Tyson is anti religion?

Because he always punches people in the faith.

A man walks into a Christian talk centre

He listens to the priests speech and halfway through interrupts him.

“Your god can’t exist and Jesus can’t be his son and your bible is corrupted.”
The priest objects “my son i have proof if you would just let me finish-“

But the man exits the centre. The priest secretl...

Three men are outside of Heavens gate waiting to get in.

Three men are outside Heaven’s gates waiting to be go to through Heaven. The angel at the gate tells them “Depending on the length of time and your faithfulness to your last partner decides your way across the bridge to Heaven”.

The first guy says “I was with my wife for 5 years and cheated 3...

A man lost at sea is found on an island 20 years later.

The sailors that find him are surprised to see three large buildings on the island. They ask the man why he built the buildings.


"This first building is my house" he says. "I was able to set up a crude aqueduct to create some form of indoor plumbing".


The sailors are ...

Mike Tyson said he was going to convert me to atheism

At least I'm pretty sure that's what he meant by "I'm gonna break your faith!"

A priest, a rabbi, and an evangelical pastor all go on a mission trip to Africa together...

The three spiritual leaders bring their sons along on the trip. The priest's son was a good Catholic boy who knew all his catechisms, devoted himself to the church, and had just become an altar boy to serve alongside his father. The rabbi's son was a good Jewish boy who learned all the Hebrew script...

Faithful

After having died, a couple souls flied to the heaven gate, St.Pierre opened the door and informed that for one time of unfaithfulness to each other in their life they will be prod by a needle.
After being prod 5 times, the wife turned to St.Pierre and asked:
“Where is my husband?”
“He i...

John and his girlfriend Mary decide to become bank-robbers.

Mary does the actual robbing at gunpoint inside the banks while John waits outside as the getaway driver. They are initially successful with a string of heists that make headlines and they become folk-heroes. Until one day their luck runs out and they get caught.

At trial, the judge condemns ...

Which animal is not faithful in a relationship?

Cheetah

A Test of Faith

A Catholic priest, a Buddhist monk and a Jehovah's witness, tired of the endless debates, decided to prove amongst themselves which faith was the real one, once and for all.

All three decided on the test:
They must each, one after the other, jump off a tall, steep cliff, and chant the ...

4 guys meet in hell. A Bodybuilder, a Muslim, a Buddhist monk, and an American.

Satan comes over, whip in hand, and says:


-Those who endure 10 whiplashes can go to Heaven, the rest will stay here in Hell!


The American glances at the bodybuilder and is about to argue when Satan interrupts him,


-Everyone can choose 1 thing to place at your back a...

For my cake day, here's the oldest joke in my email, sent to me in 1996.

In honor of my cake day, I'm sharing the oldest joke in my email archive, that was sent to me on September 17, 1996.



Three unrelated men happen to die on the same day and go to heaven. St. Peter meets them at the gates and says "Congratulations! You've all made it to Heaven. Now, de...

Gates of Heaven

Three men are waiting in line to address St Peter at the pearly gates.
St Peter asks the first man,
"We're you faithful in your marriage?"
The 1st man replies ," I guess I can't lie here,so, yes. Yes I did many times.
Peter replies,"For all eternity this rusted out Volkswagen shall be yo...

A Jewish man's son decides he is going to convert to Christianity....

The father is quite distressed about this, and decides to ask a Jewish friend of his for advice."It's funny you should come to me," his friend says, "because my son did the same thing, not even a month after moving out on his own. I was probably more upset than you seem to be, but I eventually reali...

Nothing says I have total faith in God

than the bullet proof glass on the Pope's car.

Jack, a renown atheist, dies and to his utter surprise ends up in hell where he's greeted by Satan himself. Completely shocked he talks to the devil and says: "Welp, I've been wrong all my life and I guess I'm now to pay the price for my lack of faith". Satan laughs and replies: Awh it's not so bad.

He then proceeds to escort Jack through a beautiful lush green plain with flowers, scattered here and there there's a bunch of houses where other "damned" live. As they pass through each house the inhabitants recognize Satan and invite them inside for a drink and a chat, a request that's always gran...

Here's the best one I know. It's a bit long...but I have faith in you ;)

A doctor, a lawyer,and an engineer are sentenced to death. Why is not important to the story...what's important is that the death sentence will be carried out in France - via guillotine.

The doctor is first. The executioner straps him down, hoists the glittering blade aloft, and lets it drop....

Two men were sitting next to each other at a bar.

After awhile, one bloke looks at the other and says, ‘I can’t help but think, from listening to you, that you’re from Ireland’

The other bloke responds proudly, ‘Yes, that I am!’

The first one says, ‘So am I! And where about from Ireland might you be?’

The other bloke answers, ‘...

For 2021, I’m setting a goal for myself to find a girlfriend. One that is faithful and actually wants to be with me.

I just can’t let the wife find out.

your faith was strong but you needed proof

you saw Nietzsche bathing on the roof

his philosophy and logic overthrew ya

Everybody Knows Somebody Called DAVE.

Dave is an advertising executive in L.A., who is always boasting that he knows EVERYONE on the planet, & they all know him.

His colleagues love hearing his stories about this celebrity, or that politician. However, his boss doesn't believe a word & challenges him to prove his boasts....

Three guys die and Saint Peter greets them at the Golden Gate.

He tells them, "How faithful you were to your wife will determine what kind of car you drive across the Golden Bridge to heaven."
First guy says, "I was married 10 years and only cheated three times."
Saint Peter says, "That's OK I suppose. Here, take this older model pick-up truck." ...

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A man dies and meets God before going to heaven

God asks the man if he’s ever been unfaithful to his wife, to which the man replies that he has cheated several times. God then tells the man that in the afterlife the man will only be given an old, crappy car to drive.

Another man dies that day and meets God. God asks the man the same quest...

An old man sits down in the confessional booth at his local church

and says, “Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned”.

The priest says, “Tell me of your sins, my son.”

The old man says, “Well, Father, I’m 90 years old; I’ve been married to my wife for 70 years, and in all that time I’ve always been faithful…. But last night, I made love to two beautifu...

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Family Planning

In 1983, China launched an extensive 12 month program that was carefully designed to teach the fundamentals of birth control to the rural populace. Doctors and nurses were televised demonstrating the use of condoms and birth control pills.
The people were encouraged to faithfully practice thes...

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Submitted Dating ad:

I am man, 33, looking for a long term relationship.
Profession: Member of parliament for 11 years.
Traits: Strenuous, hard-working, righteous, honest, incorrupt, truthful, fighting for the rights of poor people.

Answer:
I am 30.
Profession: Working 15 years as a prostitute.
Tra...

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The voodoo dick

A man enters a sex shop, looking for a new toy to keep his wife busy while he goes on business trips. As a higher-up in his corporation, he tends to be away from home several times a month, and wants to ensure his wife stays faithful.

When he reaches the counter, he's shocked to see an old, w...

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Once upon the time in a kingdom

Once upon the time in a kingdom far far away, lived a king and his beautiful but unfaithful hot queen.
For unknown reason, the barbarian invaded. Before the king rush to the border with the army, he puts a specially designed chastity belt on his wife and took the key with him.
This chastity be...

An Old man attended a Faith Healing session

The preacher said "Stand up and walk"
Then the old man proceeded to stand up from his wheelchair and slowly walked. The shocked crowd yelled in praise.
The preacher asked him: "How are you feeling now?"
The old man replied: "I still can't see"

A panda walked into the restaurant where I work as a server.

He came in, found a table and sat down. Hesitantly, I approached and took his order. He ordered sooo much food. He ordered at least one of every entree. I faithfully took notes and read them back to him. Satisfied, he sent me away to give the orders to the kitchen staff.
I took a detour to ask m...

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson decide to go on a camping trip

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson decide to go on a camping trip. After dinner and a bottle of wine, they lay down for the night, and go to sleep.

Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend.

"Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."

Watson replied, "...

My girlfriend this I'm very mature. But she thinks I'm incapable of being faithful.

My wife, on the otherhand...

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A priest, an engineer and a mathematician stand on the roof of a burning house.

The only way down seems to be a big leap down into a nearby pool. The house is high though and the pool small.

The priest is ready right away for his leap of faith. "So god help me!" He says, takes a second to gather himself, sprints towards the edge and jumps. He just barely misses the pool....

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A fellow stuck in a coronavirus outbreak, prayed to God for help.

Soon the head of the WHO came by. He said “Try social distancing! It can save you!”

The fellow shouted back, "No, it's OK, I'm praying to God and he is going to save me.” So the head of the WHO went on.

Then Dr. Fauci came by and told the man “Wear a mask! It can save you!”

The ...

What do you call Kanye after he gave up religion?

Ye of little faith!

Two best friends went to heaven.

At the pearly gates a saint stopped them and asked, 'Were you faithful husbands on Earth?'

The first replied, 'Yes, I've never betrayed my wife, I barely even looked at other women.'

The saint replied, 'Very good, very good. You can drive this brand new sports car! Here, take the keys!...

Blind partners are the most faithful

They never see anyone else!

A rabbi and a priest

A rabbi and a priest meet up after a year not seeing each other.

The rabbi goes: "Man, you've put on some weight since last time!"

Priest: "Yeah I know, it is a new technique I came up with. You go to a restaurant, eat as much as you can. When the bill comes, you tell them you already ...

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An old Jewish man is on his deathbed

And he asks for a priest. "A priest?" asks his concerned wife. "Don't you mean a rabbi?" No, no." is he adamant, "a priest, a catholic priest." His wife, fearing he is losing his mind, is still not convinced. "What do you need a priest for?" "I want to convert." Wife is naturally shocked. "Convert? ...

What did the Mexican atheist say when he lost his faith?

No mas(s)

A man jumps off a cliff with faith that God will save him

The man hits the ground full force and is left barely alive and bleeding out. A doctor passing by notices the struggling man and says, "Sir, I'm a doctor, please let me help you!" To which the man replies, "Get away from me! I have faith that God will heal me!" And the doctor walks away. Another doc...

Now You Tell Me

A preacher in New Orleans is known to be a good, holy man of God.

One day, while the preacher is at home, a hurricane whips up, with torrential rains and rising waters. His neighbor comes by, saying he's leaving, and would the preacher like ride? The preacher says, "No, the Lord will save me...

A Muslim, Buddhist, and Christian were arguing about their faiths...

The Muslim says that theirs is the true faith. The Buddhist says Nirvana is key, while the Christian of course argues that Jesus is the way.

This went on for hours until finally the Christian says, "let's settle this once and for all. We all jump off a cliff, and whoever's God saves him will...

One day during a war....

A tall, strong and handsome Roman soldier broke into a house where he found two luscious maidens and their matronly nurse.

Chuckling with glee, he roared, "Prepare thyselves for a conquest, my pretties."

The lovely girls fell to their knees and pleaded with him, "Do with us as thou wil...

A Buddhist, a Muslim, and a Christian all jump off from the top of a 100-floor building to prove their faith can save them.

The Buddhist jumps first. As he's falling, he chants "Buddha, Buddha, Buddha, Buddha, Buddha, Buddha, Buddha, Buddha, Buddha, Buddha." Sure enough, about halfway into falling down, he magically starts slowing down and he gently lands on the sidewalk. "Thank you, Buddha." he says with tears.

T...

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The stripper's parents didn't have faith that their daughter would go on to do something better...

They just didn't believe in destiny.

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Two beggars

It is Easter Sunday in front of Saint Sophia’s Cathedral in Constantinople sometime during the Crusades.

Two beggars are sitting in front of the cathedral.

One is wearing a tattered suit of armor and is covered in bandages. In front of him is a sign: “Give Alms to a poor Crusader who ...

A woman wants to divorce her husband, so she is talking to her lawyer.

Lawyer: "Well first we need a reason, is he not giving you money?"

Woman: "if he hides as much as a dollar from me, I'm not cooking for him for three days straight."

Lawyer: "Well is he beating you?"

Woman: "Him? I'd throw him through the window, with my left hand only"

L...

As a gesture of good faith, Trump and some of his former staff known to be white nationalists are trying to raise money for victims of the Charlottesville march by running in a charity race.

It's a 3K.

Remember the one about people queuing up for drinks at Old Faithful's birthday party?

You're not missing much; the punch line blows.

Why is it when people demand proof of God’s existence. You have to have faith, is an acceptable religious defense?

But when people demand proof that God told me to kill those kids. You have to have faith, isn’t an acceptable legal defense?

I’m sick of double standards.

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The Pope contracts a rare terminal illness.

The best specialists were quietly called in from around the world for consultation.After much debate and research they determined that the only hope to save the Pope's life was for him to have sexual relations with a woman. His advisors were notified and they in turn spoke in confidence with the pop...

Faith may not be able to move mountains

But I've seen the impact it has on buildings.

The Preacher's Faith in God

A preacher who was not able to swim fell into the ocean when he was alone out fishing. Later, a boat came by and asked the preacher if he needed help. Calmly, the preacher replied, "No, God will save me." Just a little later, a fisherman in a boat came by, asking the preacher if he needed help. Once...

You donate to God's house as a sign of faith and

you buy insurance as a sign of lack of it.

The pandemic comes, and the country is in lockdown.

The coronavirus is killing tens of thousands.

Early on, a scientist says ***"Keep your distance and wash your hands regularly."***

The fellow shouted back, ***"No, it's OK - I don't need to keep distance, I'm praying to God and he is going to save me."***

The pandemic rages on. ...

True Stkry - White driving along a long stretch of Arizona Hwy, 2 nuns ran out of gas.

Remembering they had passed a gas station a few miles back they left their car & walked back to the gas station. Unfortunately the attendant was alone & didn't have a vehicle to loan the nuns or even an extra gas can to give them to at least go back and get their cat started so they could re...

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A farmer was looking for a new rooster as his old one after many years of faithful service had finally passed on.

When he told his neighbouring farmer about the problem he said "I have just the rooster for you , but I have to warn you Ron is one horny goat of a rooster". How horny can a rooster be the farmer said to himself. "OK sure I'll buy him off you". When the farmer got back to the farm with Ron the roost...

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A mailman is working his last day after 20 years of faithful service to a neighborhood.

When he delivers the mail to the first house, the man comes out, hives him some fine cigars and says "So long, I'm really going to miss you."
When he goes to the next house, the woman there comes out and gives him a bottle of fine wine. She too is very sorry to see him go, and tells him she'll mi...

The spirit in the bottle.

A lady walks into Walmart. She bumps into a bottle on a shelf, it falls down and a spirit comes out. Ahh that was good said the spirit. As a thank\`s for helping me out of this bottle, I want to give you one wish that comes true. The lady is a little confused, thinks a little and says, I have a wish...

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As the boy led me to the window he said “all it takes to fly is faith, trust, and a little bit of pixie dust.”

As I leapt I quickly came to the conclusion that PCP is a bitch.

I went to see a faith healer last night

I wasn’t expecting much as I don’t believe in that sort of thing. I was right though, he was awful. It was so bad, even the bloke at the front in a wheelchair got up and walked out.

Just found- Lost Scriptures from the Book of Paul.

It is Good Friday and there are multitudes of people gathered around Mt. Calvary wailing, worshiping, and witnessing the crucifixion of Jesus Christ, now nailed to the cross atop this hill for all to see. Jesus cries out, "Paul...Paul... Paaaulll.." Paul hears this and to prove he is a good disciple...

Reporter 1: The cult members seem totally brainwashed, and still place their blind faith in a false savior offering hollow promises of salvation!

Reporter 2: And that concludes our report from the White House.

If a person does exceedingly well in the Catholic faith, they become a saint. But if someone does equally well in the Hindu faith, they become a...

Saint Bernard.

Faithful dog for sale

Faithful dog for sale read the add, as such John called up the owner for details.

- Hey, I saw your offer for a faithful dog, I have a couple of questions.

- Shoot.

- He good with kids?

- Very. He’s kind and gentle and has endless patience.

- yard dog or house do...

The Joy of Sects

A man crossing a bridge sees a suicidal chap about to take a big dive, Thinking he could be the good Samaritan, he stops and calls to the jumper.

GS: "Hey Buddy, Lets talk, Don't do anything rash, life is good, lets find something to talk about, Say tell me friend, are you religious?"

...

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I believe in the vagina like other people believe in God.

I've never seen one before, but I have faith.

Why did Rihanna abandon the Catholic faith?

She found love in a Popeless place.

Keeping the Faith

A couple are sitting around one evening and the man says to his wife, "Marsha, we are about to celebrate our 40th wedding anniversary. We've had a wonderful life together, full of contentment and blessings. But there's something I've always wondered about. Tell me the truth. Have you ever been unfai...

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One day, a recently married man goes to the attic of his new home to put a few things in storage.

While he is there, he notices a large steamer trunk sitting in the corner. When he tries to open it, he finds it is locked. Puzzled and curious, he calls his new bride up to the attic and asks her about the trunk.

She tells him that it is hers and that it only contains some personal things. ...

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The faithful Christian

Ol’ Fred had been a faithful Christian, and now found himself in the hospital, near death. The family called their pastor to stand with them. As the pastor stood next to the bed, Ol’ Fred’s condition appeared to deteriorate and he motioned frantically for something to write on. The pastor lovingly h...

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Yes, empirical evidence is the foundation of science. Yes, blind faith is the death of reason.

No, this does not mean that I am obligated to show you my breasts to prove their existence

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One day a very religious man is praying at home when suddenly a tsunami hits.

He climbs to the roof of his house to avoid the flood and starts praying to God to save him.

"Oh God, I've worshipped you all my life, I'm not ready to die. Please save me from this flood"

After a few minutes of this, a guy on a rowing boat see's the man in distress and calls out
...

So a New Yorker wishes to join the Taliban...

And they take him to their leader.

"Do you accept Allah as your God and Mohammad as your prophet?"

"Yes!"

"Will you jihad for the glory of God and his prophet?"

"Yes!"

"Do you believe that after you die, you will join your brethren in God's paradise where rivers of...

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A priest, an immam and a rabbi are discussing the miracles in their lives that had truly cemented their respective faiths.

The priest says "once I was out on a boat, and a storm hit. The boat was about to capsize, but when I prayed to God suddenly the oceans 100 feet around us became calm".

The immam says "that is good, but once I was in the middle of a warzone with bullets flying through the air all around me. I...

Why God? Why?

One day a fellow was watching Fox News and learned about a new virus that was rapidly spreading and quickly killing those who got sick with it. The nightly news reports got worse and worse, this Covid-19 virus was spreading around the world and killing increasingly large numbers of people. But he wa...

Crisis in Faith

Several centuries ago, the Pope decreed that all Muslims had to convert to Catholicism or leave Italy. There was a huge outcry from the Muslim community, so the Pope offered a deal. He'd have a religious debate with the leader of the Muslim community. If the Muslims won, they could stay in Italy; an...

After many faithful years as a Christian, John's dedication finally paid off as he found himself the girl of his dreams.

At the wedding he walks over to his best friend for advice.
"Hey man! What is it that I'm supposed to do when I get her all alone after the wedding?"
"Ah, that's simple. You just take your most prized-possession and stick it in where she pees."
"Ah! Thanks dude!"
"No problem!" ...

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There was a King who's Queen was horny af

She couldn't last a day without sex and was quite a seductress. He had no problems with this as she was super hot and she was always by her side but one day the king had to go to a nearby village to quell an uprising for a few days. There was nothing he could do to avoid it and taking the Queen with...

Faith is everything

A man is about to jump from a plane. Right before he jumps, he looks down and freezes in place.

"Don't worry," says the pilot, "If something goes wrong - start chanting 'Oh great Buddha, please save me'".

Skeptical but with renewed confidence, the man jumps. At the right height, he t...

A man is hanging from a branch

A man is hanging by a branch above a ravine and looks down then back up and says “if there is anyone up there tell me what to do, give me faith” then a voice responds “ if you have faith then let go” so the man looks down then back up and says “ is there anyone else up there”

Three devotees decide to prove the power of their faith...

...they all decide to jump off a cliff one by one, all the while invoking the name of their chosen deity.

The first devotee, a Buddhist, proceeds to stand at the edge of the cliff and begins reciting the mora sutta. At the end of the chant he jumps and calls on Buddha three times: ***"Buddha ...

An old woman is offered a covid vaccine at her senior home.

She refuses it and says "I have faith in God to protect me."

A week later, her nurse daughter calls her and tells her that she can come into the clinic and get her the vaccine quickly that day. Again, the woman refuses and says "I have faith in god to protect me."

Several weeks pass, ...

What is the difference between Faith and Hope?

Depends on the strip club.

A teacher is discussing with a boy and girl about Christian faith

The teacher asks them, “Now, where do good people go to when they die?” The boy pokes the girl with a pencil and she pops up and yells, “For heavens sake!” The teacher tells her that she is right.
The teacher then asks, “So, what religious figure is known to be the son of god?” The boy pokes the ...

Stranded on Deserted Island for 10 years

One day a man who had been stranded on a deserted island for over 10 years, saw a speck on the horizon.

He thought to himself, “It’s certainly not a ship.” And, as the speck got closer and closer, he began to rule out the possibilities of a small boat and even a raft.

Suddenly there e...

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