A study showed that 1 in 3 people aren't faithful in their relationship.

I just need to figure out if it is my wife or girlfriend

Why is it when people demand proof of God’s existence. You have to have faith, is an acceptable religious defense?

But when people demand proof that God told me to kill those kids. You have to have faith, isn’t an acceptable legal defense?

I’m sick of double standards.

A man jumps off a cliff with faith that God will save him

The man hits the ground full force and is left barely alive and bleeding out. A doctor passing by notices the struggling man and says, "Sir, I'm a doctor, please let me help you!" To which the man replies, "Get away from me! I have faith that God will heal me!" And the doctor walks away. Another doc...

Nothing says I have total faith in God

than the bullet proof glass on the Pope's car.

An elderly lady was well-known for her faith and for her boldness in talking about it. She would stand on her front porch and shout "PRAISE THE LORD!"

Next door to her lived an atheist who would get so angry at her proclamations he would shout, "There ain't no Lord!!"
Hard times set in on the elderly lady, and she prayed for GOD to send her some assistance. She stood on her porch and shouted "PRAISE THE LORD. GOD I NEED FOOD!! I AM HAVING A HAR...

Crisis in Faith

Several centuries ago, the Pope decreed that all Muslims had to convert to Catholicism or leave Italy. There was a huge outcry from the Muslim community, so the Pope offered a deal. He'd have a religious debate with the leader of the Muslim community. If the Muslims won, they could stay in Italy; an...

So Jesus is up on the cross, and James, his most faithful disciple. kneels at his feet, trying to comfort him in his last hours.

Soon Jesus, exhausted, says softly "James... James...."

James, trying to comfort the Lord, soothes him "I am here Lord, save your strength"

Jesus falls silent. A little later He says again, "James... James... are you there...."

"Yes, my Lord, I am here" answers James "Be still ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

As the boy led me to the window he said “all it takes to fly is faith, trust, and a little bit of pixie dust.”

As I leapt I quickly came to the conclusion that PCP is a bitch.

If a person does exceedingly well in the Catholic faith, they become a saint. But if someone does equally well in the Hindu faith, they become a...

Saint Bernard.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I went to a faith healer last night and he was fucking shit,

even the bloke in the wheelchair got up and walked out!

An imam, a priest and a rabbi are having a discussion about what they do with the money they receive from worshippers.

The priest explains his process: « the way I do things is very simple. First, I take a big piece of chalk and draw a circle around myself. After that I take the money in my hands, throw it up in the air and what falls inside the circle is for me while all the money that falls outside is for the Lor...

The Tale Of The Faithful Man And The Rescue Boat

Once there was a boat sailing not too far from the shore of a town, when it capsized.

A rescue boat was sent out imediatly, but there was only room on board for half of the survivors. The coastguards descided to fill the boat up and then come back after for the remaining passengers, so they g...

After many faithful years as a Christian, John's dedication finally paid off as he found himself the girl of his dreams.

At the wedding he walks over to his best friend for advice.
"Hey man! What is it that I'm supposed to do when I get her all alone after the wedding?"
"Ah, that's simple. You just take your most prized-possession and stick it in where she pees."
"Ah! Thanks dude!"
"No problem!" ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A farmer was looking for a new rooster as his old one after many years of faithful service had finally passed on.

When he told his neighbouring farmer about the problem he said "I have just the rooster for you , but I have to warn you Ron is one horny goat of a rooster". How horny can a rooster be the farmer said to himself. "OK sure I'll buy him off you". When the farmer got back to the farm with Ron the roost...

The stripper's parents didn't have faith that their daughter would go on to do something better...

They just didn't believe in destiny.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Darth Vader walks into his local record shop and asks for a copy of George Michael's debut solo album

The guy behind the counter says "I'm sorry, it's out of stock."

Darth Vader shakes his head and says "I find your lack of Faith disturbing..."

A perfectly triangular lake has 3 kingdoms on its 3 sides

A perfectly triangular lake has 3 kingdoms on its 3 sides. The first kingdom is rich and powerful, filled with wealthy, prosperous people, the second is more humble, but has its fair share of wealth and power. The third kingdom is struggling and poor, and barely has an army.


The kingdoms ...

What did the Mexican atheist say when he lost his faith?

No mas(s)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I believe in the vagina like other people believe in God.

I've never seen one before, but I have faith.

Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson go on a camping trip.

After a good dinner and a bottle of wine, they retire for the night, and go to sleep.

Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend. “Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.”

“I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes” replies Watson.

“And what...

I still have some faith in humanity

and I owe it to the kind people who leave free unbrellas at public places on rainy days. Just when you need them the most.

Reporter 1: The cult members seem totally brainwashed, and still place their blind faith in a false savior offering hollow promises of salvation!

Reporter 2: And that concludes our report from the White House.

David's life was at a low point.

Seeing no way out, he walked out on a bridge, intending to end it all by leaping off. A woman, driving by in her car, sees David hesitating unsteadily on the wrong side of the railing and realizes what's going on. She stops her car and dashes over, hoping to talk him out of suicide.

"Wait!" s...

My girlfriend thinks i am incapable of being faithful

My wife on the other hand has a sister i wouldnt mind if you know what i mean

An Old man attended a Faith Healing session

The preacher said "Stand up and walk"
Then the old man proceeded to stand up from his wheelchair and slowly walked. The shocked crowd yelled in praise.
The preacher asked him: "How are you feeling now?"
The old man replied: "I still can't see"

An old man walks into a confessional

The priest behind the screen says, "What are your sins my son?" The old man replies, "Well Father, I'm 63 years old. I've been married to the same woman for 40 years and I've been faithful all that time. That ended last night when I had a three-way with two college-age girls."

The priest look...

Several engineer teachers are invited to fly a plane

Then the teachers are told that their students made the plane. All the teachers immediately gets off except one. When questioned about why the teacher didn’t get off the teacher responded

I have complete faith in my student, if they made the plane, there is NO WAY that this plane will even ta...

Praying for salvation...

One rainy day, a very religious woman was standing on her front porch watching as the river across the street started to rise up its banks. A policeman drove down the road and saw her, pulled his cruiser up her drive, and got out.

"Excuse me miss," he called over to the woman, "but the rains ...

I went to see a faith healer last night

I wasn’t expecting much as I don’t believe in that sort of thing. I was right though, he was awful. It was so bad, even the bloke at the front in a wheelchair got up and walked out.

A group of engineering professors are all sitting on a plane waiting to take off...

The captain comes over the intercom and announces that as a surprise, the entire plane has been designed and built by their students.

Understandably, all the engineers immediately begin panicking, desperately scrambling to get off the plane, all except for one who is still calmly sitting in h...

A Jewish father was very troubled by the way his son turned out and went to see his rabbi about it.

“Rabbi, I brought him up in the faith, gave him a very expensive Bar Mitzvah and it cost me a fortune to educate him. Then he tells me last week, he’s decided to be a Christian. Rabbi, where did I go wrong?”

The rabbi strokes his beard and says, “Funny you should come to me. I too, brought ...

An old man goes to a church, and is making a confession.

Man: Father, I am 75 years old. I have been married for 50 years. All these years I had been faithful to my wife, but yesterday I was intimate with an 18 year old.

Father: When was the last time you made a confession?

Man: I never have, I am Jewish.

Father: Then why are telling ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Yes, empirical evidence is the foundation of science. Yes, blind faith is the death of reason.

No, this does not mean that I am obligated to show you my breasts to prove their existence

A Buddhist, a Muslim, and a Christian all jump off from the top of a 100-floor building to prove their faith can save them.

The Buddhist jumps first. As he's falling, he chants "Buddha, Buddha, Buddha, Buddha, Buddha, Buddha, Buddha, Buddha, Buddha, Buddha." Sure enough, about halfway into falling down, he magically starts slowing down and he gently lands on the sidewalk. "Thank you, Buddha." he says with tears.

T...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[NSFW] A business man was robbed in Las Vegas on his way to the airport

After he had checked out of the hotel late at night, 2 muggers have robbed his purse, mo and notebook, leaving him behind with his luggage.

He had hours left to get to the airport, and he was lucky that his ticket was at the side compartment of his luggage. He walked up to the street to the ...

Faithful dog for sale

Faithful dog for sale read the add, as such John called up the owner for details.

- Hey, I saw your offer for a faithful dog, I have a couple of questions.

- Shoot.

- He good with kids?

- Very. He’s kind and gentle and has endless patience.

- yard dog or house do...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three guys die and go to hell [LONG]

Satan meets them for orientation. He asks the first one "What was your favorite sin in life?" He replies "It would have to be booze, I stayed drunk all the time." So Satan leads him to a door and opens it to reveal a giant room containing acres of every type of alcoholic drink imaginable; beers, ...

Two men were sitting next to each other at a bar.

After a while, One guy looks at the other and says,"I can't help but think, from listening to you, that you're from Ireland."
The other guy responds proudly, "Yes, that I am!" The first guy says, "So am I! And where about from Ireland might you be?"
The other guy answers, "I'm from Dublin,...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An old Irish Catholic is on his deathbed

An old Irish Catholic is on his deathbed, and while his family gather round him he asks one of his sons to do him a favour.

"Son" he says, "Bring me a Protestant Vicar".

"But why father, why would you want a Protestant Vicar?" Asks the son.

The old man insists and the Vicar is d...

A waiter is working and sees Jesus come in

Waiter: “Hello sir, welcome to our restaurant! What can I get for you?”

Jesus: “Hello Matthew. Today I would like a steak please.”

Waiter: “How did you... oh right, you’re Jesus! Duh. Anyways, how would you like that?”

Jesus: “Well done, good and faithful servant”

A priest, a Baptist and a rabbi walk into a bar

A priest, a baptist and a rabbi walk into a bar and start getting sloshed.

They decide that they need to test their faith to see which one is the best. They decide the ultimate challenge is to see if they can convert a bear.

So the next day they all go out into the wood to try and meet...

A poor old lady was forced to sell her valuables to avoid eviction.

As she rummaged through her dusty belongings, she came across a dull copper kettle. Intrigued by it’s possible value the old woman dusted it off and BAM! A genie erupted from its neck.

The genie says “I have seen your plights, and will grant you three wishes.”

The woman, astounded, t...

Why did Rihanna abandon the Catholic faith?

She found love in a Popeless place.

A christian hears that there is a flood coming to his town. (long)

A fireman knocks on his door and says, "You need to come with me, there's a flood coming."

The christian says, "No, no, I'm a faithful christian, God will save me."

The fireman leaves and the flood waters come in. Eventually the flood waters get so high that he has to move to the first...

A man dies and arrives at the Pearly Gates...

St. Peter is there with his book and asks for his name.

The man says "Gordon Jones."

St. Peter finds his name and says "Okay. Let's review your life to see if you can enter Heaven."

St. Peter is reviewing Gordon's life and sees that he was a loving father, faithful husband and ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Friendship...

A true friend is like a penis, he stands up for you in times of need. A genuine friend is like a bra, she supports you at all times. A faithful friend is like a condom, he protects you from all harm. A loving friend is like a vagina, she accomodates you fully despite the size of your problem.
...

Jack, a renown atheist, dies...

... and to his utter surprise ends up in hell where he's greeted by Satan himself.

Completely shocked he talks to the devil and says: "Welp, I've been wrong all my life and I guess I'm now to pay the price for my lack of faith"

Satan laughs and replies: "Awh it's not so bad down here, ...

Three men die one day, and are admitted into heaven.

God approaches them and says, “this is the road to heaven. The class of the vehicle you drive to heaven is determined by how faithful you were to your significant other.” The first man says, “I was very faithful to my wife, I didn’t cheat on her once.” God said, “very good, take that Lamborghini int...

I once met a member of the Catholic faith who could only face North, East, South and West...

His name was Cardinal Directions

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I regret telling people that I want a lover that's faithful.

Now my priest won't leave me the fuck alone.

A Doberman, German Shepherd, and Cat are sitting before God in the judgement hall

God looks at the Doberman and asks "Doberman, what did you believe in?"

The Doberman replies "I believed in being faithful and loyal to my master until the day I died."

God answers "Very well. You may come sit to my left side. Shepherd, what did you believe in?"

The Shepherd say...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A blonde is down on her luck

So she pleads to God, "Please let me win the lottery! I need the money so bad. Please help your faithful servant!"

A week comes and goes, and she doesn't win the lottery. Upset, she gets down on her knees, looks up to the heavens with tears streaming down her face and pleads, "God, I beg of y...

My girlfriend was faithful to the end

Unfortunately, I was the quarterback

Jesus and Moses are having a conversation in heaven...

Jesus "Moses, people are starting to lose faith and I don't know what to do about it"



Moses "Well, the last time you preformed some miracles in person, it really made people gain faith"



Jesus "Thats a good idea"



So Jesus and Moses go down to earth to a he...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

One Sunday morning in the middle of a blizzard

One Sunday morning in February, the young new pastor slowly made his way to the rural church in the middle of a blizzard, arriving with just five minutes to spare. He walked in, turned on the lights and looked around. No one else was there.

As he was about to turn everything off and go back...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A priest, an immam and a rabbi are discussing the miracles in their lives that had truly cemented their respective faiths.

The priest says "once I was out on a boat, and a storm hit. The boat was about to capsize, but when I prayed to God suddenly the oceans 100 feet around us became calm".

The immam says "that is good, but once I was in the middle of a warzone with bullets flying through the air all around me. I...

Converting a Bear to the Faith

A rabbi, priest, and a preacher meet every Monday in a coffee shop to talk things over about their spiritual life.

One day, the priest makes a bet with the other guys that he could convert a bear in the woods over to his religion. The others nod and say "Yeah, I'll bet we could do it quicker...

Because it wasn't good for Adam to be all by himself, the Lord came down for a visit.

"Adam," the Lord said, "I have a plan to make you a very happy man. I'm going to give you a companion who will fulfill your every need and desire. She will be loving, and beautiful, and faithful. She will make you feel wonderful every day of your life."

Adam was stunned, "That sounds incredib...

King Arthur returns home after a long battle and begins to suspect Gwendolyn has been unfaithful.

He orders his most trusted advisor, The Count, to see him.
King: Count, I want you to tell me if my wife has been faithful.
Count: I'm sorry your majesty, I'm sworn to secrecy.
King: What?! You swore an oath to me! Now tell me what has my wife been up to?
Count: I'm sorry your ...

The government denied tax exemption for my church that believes Jesus spoke with a lisp

It was a real slap in the faith

What do you call the diary of a woman of the faith?

nun-fiction.

Fishing

I was out fishing yesterday when I heard a soft voice saying "Kiss me, then I will turn into your faithful mistress"
I looked down and saw a little frog, " I said "Was that you speaking"?
The little frog said "Yes, kiss me and I will turn into your faithful mistress"
So I picked the little ...

How much faith does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, faith can only move mountains.

Faith may not be able to move mountains

But I've seen the impact it has on buildings.

Why is faith a virtue?

Doesn't matter, I have faith that it is.

Three devotees decide to prove the power of their faith...

...they all decide to jump off a cliff one by one, all the while invoking the name of their chosen deity.

The first devotee, a Buddhist, proceeds to stand at the edge of the cliff and begins reciting the mora sutta. At the end of the chant he jumps and calls on Buddha three times: ***"Buddha ...

Faith is everything

A man is about to jump from a plane. Right before he jumps, he looks down and freezes in place.

"Don't worry," says the pilot, "If something goes wrong - start chanting 'Oh great Buddha, please save me'".

Skeptical but with renewed confidence, the man jumps. At the right height, he t...

What is the difference between Faith and Hope?

Depends on the strip club.

A Catholic priest is drowning in the Ocean.

A Catholic priest is drowning in the Ocean. A lifeguard swims past and asks the priest: "Do you need help?"
Priest replies: "Don't worry. God will save me."
A few minutes go by and another life guard swims past. He says: "Here, grab my hand I can help you get back to shore"
Priest rep...

An angry teenager from a Catholic home began dressing as a monk to mock his parents' faith.

When asked by a friend how her son had been, the boy's mother replied, "Well, he's been-a-dick-teen lately."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Faith healer visits a small town

And sets up a prayer meeting. All the faithful are there and are ready for a miracle.

One man hobbles up and says "I've been lame since I was a boy. Can I be healed?"

The preacher says "All who believe will be healed. Now go behind the curtain"

Another man walks up and says...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

It was hard until I came into Faith and found bliss

She was kind of pissed when she realized I wasn't using a condom though...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.