Never trust atoms....

They make up everything.

You can never trust stairs

They're always up to something

Detroit isn't That Bad... Trust Me

A guy boards an airplane to Detroit and makes his way to his seat where he notices the guy sitting next to him looks very worried. He asks him if he's afraid of flying.

"No, my company is moving me to Detroit. I've heard terrible things about Detroit; I'm worried about my family."

The ...

Never trust a volleyball-playin bartender...

They might spike your drink.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Never trust someone who really needs to take a dump

They're full of shit

Trust is important in a relationship

If you're with a woman and you don't completely trust her, how do you know she won't tell your wife?

A good romance starts with trust, kindness, and mutual respect.

A bad romance starts with RAH RAH AH AH AH...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

what is the ultimate sign of trust?

two cannibals giving each other blow jobs.

I trust the doctors performing my Spinal cord bypass surgery

because they have my back.

Never trust Velcro shoes

They’re a real rip off

Why shouldn't you trust the awning company?

Because they are shady.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

One day I'll pretend to be gay. I'll make lots of female friends, gain their trust. Become their confidant, and when they least expected...BAAM!!!

I'll have sex with their boyfriends

Never trust a math teacher holding graph paper.

They are always plotting something.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I call my dick trust

Because I don't trust anybody.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

As the boy led me to the window he said “all it takes to fly is faith, trust, and a little bit of pixie dust.”

As I leapt I quickly came to the conclusion that PCP is a bitch.

Two reasons I dont trust people

1) I dont know them
2) I know them

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you trust more than the government?

The ads on Pornhub telling me girls within 3 miles of my location want to hook up.

I don't trust museums

They have too many skeletons in their closet.

Never Trust a Train

They have Loco Motives

Why do you never trust a horse out in a field?

He’s unstabled.

I just got an idea to get "i trust no one" tattoo on my arm

But I don't think any tattoo artist would do it properly

Why can’t you trust anything a snake says?

They’re only tales

Smugglers have began hiding drugs in the soles of their shoes. You shouldn't trust them

They're probably laced

A good romance starts with a foundation of trust and friendship.

A bad romance starts with a rah rah rah-ah-ah, roma roma-ma gaga ooh la la

Why do the Sisters in a convent not trust their gut instincts?

It's usually just nunsense!

Don't trust your Spotify discover weekly because it was updated on April fool's.

Just sayin

Dad: I don't trust those trees son.

Son: why not dad?
Dad: I don't know, they seem kinda shady



How do you know when you can trust a cow?

When you have udder confidence in it.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why can you always trust a vampire to practice safe sex?

They can't come inside without being invited!

I don't trust the ocean

It looks fishy

Why I don’t trust joggers?

Well, they are usually the ones to find the dead bodies.

I give excellent relationship advice..

Trust me, I've been in hundreds of relationships.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Never trust a fart

They will always talk shit behind your back

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I don’t trust anyone named Richard.

If you ask me, they’re all kind of dicks.

Your parents in 1996: Don't trust ANYONE on the Internet.

Your parents in 2017: Freedom Eagle dot Facebook says Hillary invented AIDS.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My girlfriend wanted me to put more trust in her

So i name my penis trust.

Why cant you trust math teachers in the spring time?

Because they'll always play matrix on you.

I don’t trust my shadow

He’s a shady guy

Why doesn't Jesus trust mankind?

He's afraid he'll get double crossed

Crush: Why should I trust you? All the guys I've been dating have been dogs.

Me: .........

Crush: Well? Aren't you going to say anything?

Me: ........... meow

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My two friends are dating and are toxic for each other. The only time i see them is together because of their trust issues...

Or when I'm fucking his girlfriend.

Why can't you trust people without fingers?

they can't be counted on.



Sorry if this isn't OC.

Why doesn’t Jesus trust all of humanity?

He’s afraid someone is going to cross him

Worrying about money kept me up at night. My mom told me to put my money in my mattress because you can’t trust banks.

So I bought a $100k mattress and now I sleep like a baby.

Why can't you trust an artist?

Cuz they're sketchy, shady, and they'll frame you

How did the artist with the trust fund pay for all his supplies?

With the money he got from his dada.

Don’t trust cats

I was talking to this cat who insisted he was the biggest house cat in existence.

Turns out he was lion

You really cannot trust your drug dealers. One day they appear genuine,

Next day they’re methin’ around

I trust my fingers

I can count on them.

Whom Do You Trust?

A redneck returns to the doctors after having some tests and asks what the results were. The doctor explains that he has some bad news, in fact, the patient is HIV positive.
"Hell, " says the man, "You can't trust anybody nowadays, not even your own kids!"

Why should you never trust what it says on a bar of soap?

They always lye.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I didn’t trust my wife home alone with the roofers...

So I hired an all gay roofing crew. I don’t know if it worked, she said they’ve been outside banging all day.

I trust fat people more than anyone.

Everything they say has a lot of weight behind it.

Why can't you trust r/AntiJokes as a Car salesman?

They lie about the wheels.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

You can always trust a pornstar who’s doing anal

Because you know she isn’t full of shit

I don’t trust my blind girlfriend....

I’m afraid she’s seeing other people

“You simply cannot trust quotes found on the internet.”

—Abraham Lincoln, November 19, 1863.

I trust anyone who can pick me up

It's not a good rule, but it's carried me this far

Why does no one trust the man on the moon?

He has a dark side.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I dont trust people that dont masturbate

I mean how can i fuck with someone that doesnt even fuck with themself?

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