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What’s the definition of trust?

Two cannibals giving eachother a blowjob

My boss said that for this new contract need someone someone he can trust, someone reliable. I replied "You can count on me, my second name is reliable."

My first name is Un.

You can never trust farmers

They are always plotting something

Never trust an atom.

They make up everything.

Why i don’t trust the stairs at “hogwarts”?

Because they are subject to change.

Why does nobody trust big cats?

Because they're always lion

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Never trust a fart

Trust me I'm not full of shit

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My therapist says I have trust issues.

I don't believe her though, because she's crazy.

Never trust a train.

They have loco motives.

Trust me, you can dance

yours sincerely,

Vodka

Never trust math teachers who use graph paper.

They're *always* plotting something.

Why can't you trust a bard with your finances?

Because they always add more when they're recounting.

Why can't you trust people who wear sunglasses?

Cause they are shady as hell. You can see it in their eyes

Detroit isn't That Bad... Trust Me

A guy boards an airplane to Detroit and makes his way to his seat where he notices the guy sitting next to him looks very worried. He asks him if he's afraid of flying.

"No, my company is moving me to Detroit. I've heard terrible things about Detroit; I'm worried about my family."

The ...

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Always trust people who like big butts

They cannot lie

I don’t trust caricature artists.

They sketch me out.

A relationship with no trust is like having a phone with no service

You just play games.

Person 1: Trust fall

*Thud

Person 2: I trusted you!

Person 1: you were supposed to fall forward

I trust the doctors performing my Spinal cord bypass surgery

because they have my back.

Why can't you trust anything that comes out of a duck's mouth?

Because they're all quacks

Trust is important in a relationship

If you're with a woman and you don't completely trust her, how do you know she won't tell your wife?

A good romance starts with trust, kindness, and mutual respect.

A bad romance starts with RAH RAH AH AH AH...

Never trust Velcro shoes

They’re a real rip off

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Never trust someone who really needs to take a dump

They're full of shit

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One day I'll pretend to be gay. I'll make lots of female friends, gain their trust. Become their confidant, and when they least expected...BAAM!!!

I'll have sex with their boyfriends

Never trust people who channel their negative life experiences into creative expressions

... they're all a bunch of con artists

I Don’t Trust Comercials

...I always feel like they’re trying to sell me something

Why shouldn't you trust the awning company?

Because they are shady.

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I call my dick trust

Because I don't trust anybody.

Two reasons I dont trust people

1) I dont know them
2) I know them

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What do you trust more than the government?

The ads on Pornhub telling me girls within 3 miles of my location want to hook up.

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As the boy led me to the window he said “all it takes to fly is faith, trust, and a little bit of pixie dust.”

As I leapt I quickly came to the conclusion that PCP is a bitch.

I don't trust museums

They have too many skeletons in their closet.

Why can’t you trust anything a snake says?

They’re only tales

Why do you never trust a horse out in a field?

He’s unstabled.

Why can't you trust animals with six legs?

Because they are in sects

I just got an idea to get "i trust no one" tattoo on my arm

But I don't think any tattoo artist would do it properly

Your parents in 1996: Don't trust ANYONE on the Internet.

Your parents in 2017: Freedom Eagle dot Facebook says Hillary invented AIDS.

Smugglers have began hiding drugs in the soles of their shoes. You shouldn't trust them

They're probably laced

A good romance starts with a foundation of trust and friendship.

A bad romance starts with a rah rah rah-ah-ah, roma roma-ma gaga ooh la la

Why do the Sisters in a convent not trust their gut instincts?

It's usually just nunsense!

Dad: I don't trust those trees son.

Son: why not dad?
Dad: I don't know, they seem kinda shady



How do you know when you can trust a cow?

When you have udder confidence in it.

I don't trust the ocean

It looks fishy

Why doesn't Jesus trust mankind?

He's afraid he'll get double crossed

Don't trust your Spotify discover weekly because it was updated on April fool's.

Just sayin

Crush: Why should I trust you? All the guys I've been dating have been dogs.

Me: .........

Crush: Well? Aren't you going to say anything?

Me: ........... meow?

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I don’t trust anyone named Richard.

If you ask me, they’re all kind of dicks.

Why I don’t trust joggers?

Well, they are usually the ones to find the dead bodies.

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Why can you always trust a vampire to practice safe sex?

They can't come inside without being invited!

My dad always said, "Don't trust anybody".

But I don't know if his advice is genuine.

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My girlfriend wanted me to put more trust in her

So i name my penis trust.

Why cant you trust math teachers in the spring time?

Because they'll always play matrix on you.

I don’t trust my shadow

He’s a shady guy

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My two friends are dating and are toxic for each other. The only time i see them is together because of their trust issues...

Or when I'm fucking his girlfriend.

Why can't you trust an artist?

Cuz they're sketchy, shady, and they'll frame you

How did the artist with the trust fund pay for all his supplies?

With the money he got from his dada.

I give excellent relationship advice..

Trust me, I've been in hundreds of relationships.

Why can't you trust people without fingers?

they can't be counted on.



Sorry if this isn't OC.

Why doesn’t Jesus trust all of humanity?

He’s afraid someone is going to cross him

Don’t trust cats

I was talking to this cat who insisted he was the biggest house cat in existence.

Turns out he was lion

Worrying about money kept me up at night. My mom told me to put my money in my mattress because you can’t trust banks.

So I bought a $100k mattress and now I sleep like a baby.

You really cannot trust your drug dealers. One day they appear genuine,

Next day they’re methin’ around

I don't trust Greek instruments.

They're mostly lyres.

Whom Do You Trust?

A redneck returns to the doctors after having some tests and asks what the results were. The doctor explains that he has some bad news, in fact, the patient is HIV positive.
"Hell, " says the man, "You can't trust anybody nowadays, not even your own kids!"

I trust my fingers

I can count on them.

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