Hook Up With Jokes - 14 Hilarious Hook Up With Jokes

My job allows me to hook up with as many women as I want

I love being a mortician

A lot of Russian girls are trying to hook up with American guys online.

But it’s really just Putin trying to interfere with our erections.

How do you call the site where you hook up with old women?

Instagran

If somebody is looking to hook up with a girl over 6 foot tall

They really want 2 meter

What’s it called when you hook up with a set of twins?

A doppelbänger

How did the shirt hook up with the pants?

By asking "you down to tuck?"

A recent survey of women on Tinder revealed that a majority of women would rather hook up with an amateur pilot than an experienced military jet pilot.

"DAMNIT!" a young airman yells as he slams his phone onto the bar.

"Tom, calm down! What's got you so riled up?" his buddy says to him.

"I just read an article that says women wanna hook up with amateur pilots over good looking pilots like us that keep the skies safe" Tom says.
...

A rich old man goes golfing with his friends

And he brings along a gorgeous young lady.

"Well guys, meet my new fiancée" he says, full of pride. And for the rest of the afternoon the friends can't take their eyes off the beauty.

After the round of golf the rich man goes up to the bar to order drinks for the group. One of his frie...

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NSFW The National Anthem and a blowjob

While at lunch, Joe tells Phil that he hooked up with someone the previous night. Joe mentions that the woman he hooked up with (let's call her Ann) gave him some of the best head he's ever had. Curious about this amazing blowjob, Phil asks Joe what made it so special. Joe then says that Ann sang th...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Germans are weird

In my recent trip to Germany I managed to hook up with this really cute German girl, but for some reason she just kept yelling her age during sex..

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

One guy tell his friends he got the best blowjob he ever had but there was 1 thing that bothered him......

She turned off the lights and started giving him the best blowjob he ever had but then she started singing the national anthem during it.

So his friend decides to hook up with her as well and comes back and says it was the most amazing blowjob he ever had but that she also sang the national ...

I'm tired of following my dreams

I'm just gonna ask where they're going and hook up with them later.

(I used to miss Mitch. I still do, but I used to too.)

I accidentally downloaded Timber instead of Tinder the other day

Unfortunately I didn’t hook up with anyone, but I did have a lot of trees fall for me

Met Roy Moore at a bar once...

Chatted him up about wanting to hook up with twenty-nine year olds.

He looked at me with disbelief and asked "how are you going to do all twenty at once?"

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