Marry Jokes

I can't wait to introduce my parents to my bride 2B

He said, “NO!”

I told him, “She is Bill Gates’ daughter.”

He said, “OK.”

I called Bill Gates and said, “I want your daughter to marry my son.”

Bill Gates said, “NO.”

I told Bill Gates, My son is the CEO of World Bank.”

Bill Gates said, “OK.”

I called ... read more

Once again, immigrants are doing the jobs no American want to do.

A young man went to his father one day to tell him that he wanted to get married. His father was happy for him. He asked his son who the girl was, and he told him that it was Samantha a girl from the neighborhood.

With a sad face the old man said to his son, "I'm sorry to say this son but I h... read more

An ugly one will too, but you just won't care as much.

but apparently you can't end a sentence with a proposition.

Dad: Wonderful; do you have a girl in mind?!

Boy: Yes... grandma! She said she loves me, I love her, too....and she’s the best cook & story teller in the whole world!

Dad: That’s nice, but we have a small problem there!

Boy: What problem?!

Dad: She happens to be my m... read more

“She makes bad decisions, but sticks with it.”

"will i marry you?"

Then, I gave them to your mother and told her to try them on, which she did. They were huge on her and she said that she couldn’t wear them because they were too large. I said to her, 'Of course they are too big for you, I wear the pants in this family and I always will.' ...Ever since that day, son... read more

She said no both times.

She's a keeper.

A newspaper asked if she wouldn't mind talking about her first 3 husbands and what they did for a living.

She smiled and said, "My first husband was a banker, then I married a circus ringmaster, next was a preacher and now in my 80's, a funeral director."

When asked why the... read more

But I’m pretty sure she’ll figure out I’m just after my money.

Love means nothing to them

Sure, like my son is going to marry someone twice his age...

you should first make them use a computer with slow internet service to see who they really are.

But she figured out I was only after my money.

First, a tractor.

I wanted to make it my Wifi

And I felt a really strong connectio

I thought I saw all the right signals

Plus I really wanted to tap that

So I gave it a ring

Turns out it was already engaged

Besides, I wasn't its type

We would have been such a great we... read more

They got gold feet.

It is so cool in the beginning, then they hit you.

Apparently "Your sister was already taken" was not the right answer.

His mother was shocked and told him, "No. You can't do that. She's only a commentator."

Because, it was all relative.

Boyfriend: "Wow, how many men do you plan to marry?"

His lawyer is trying to talk him out of it.
After an hour of arguing with his client for the lawyer says, “Do whatever you want, but I warn you, these May/December weddings often end in death!”

That stops the older man for a second. He stops, ponders, and finally says, “Well - If she dies... read more

Three friends married women from different parts of the world.

The first man married a Greek girl. He told her that she was to do the dishes and house cleaning. It took a couple of days, but on the third day, he came home to see a clean house and dishes washed and put away.

The second ... read more

In Europe we call them Royals

She has a slight impediment in her speech.

What is it?

She can't say "Yes".



Source: 1913 Newspaper

The mother says 'you can find someone better, why would you wanna ruin your life with it'.....
'mom, don't say it like that, she will get hurt' says the son.

Mom says 'i wasn't talking to you, son'

I don't wanna be Obama self.