UPJOKE
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Why did the bike fall over?

Because it was two tired

Why did the polynomial tree fall over?

It didn't have any real roots

My wife said we needed to childproof our upright piano, so it wouldn't fall over on our toddler...

... I said that was a good idea, because I wouldn't want a flat minor.

I saw a poor old lady fall over today on the sidewalk!

At least I presume she was poor - she only had $1.20 in her purse.

Why do motorcycles fall over?

Because they're too tired.

(Told to me by my 5 year old).

What do you call a table that doesn’t fall over during an earthquake?

A stable

TIL: if you push one pizza delivery man over, all the pizza delivery men fall over.

It's known as the domino's effect.

Why did the drug addict fall over?

He tripped.

A German man walks into a McDonald's in the United States...

After waiting in line, he finally gets to the counter, and he orders a pint of beer, because you can get beer at McDonalds in Germany.

An American customer overhears the man's order, and he approaches the German man and says, "How could you be so stupid? you cannot order beer here." while lau...

Why did the pine tree fall over?

It had too many cones.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Confucius say, man who fall over book case...

...gets the sore arse.

I just saw my wife trip and fall over with the basket of clothes she just ironed.

I watched it all unfold.

A Sheep, A Blonde, and A Snake fall over...

....Baaa Dumb, Tsss

Why do bicycles fall over?

They are two-tired.

Why did the cup fall over?

Because it was drunk.

Why did broke man fall over?

He ran out of balance

Why did the bicycle fall over?

It was two-tyred.

Alexa gave me that one. Bing Bang boom.

Do people think you are YOUNG or OLD? The test, fall over in a supermarket…..

If everyone laughs, you are YOUNG.

If people run over to help, you are OLD.

You know how you feel when you're leaning back in a chair and you almost fall over backwards but at the last instant you catch yourself?

I feel like that all the time.

*Credit Steven Wright*

A man on a train gets up and moves to the doors..

..a conductor notices and says "Sorry sir, this train doesn't stop at the next station on a Sunday night." Seeing how disappointed he is, the conductor says "It does slow down going through the station though, perhaps there is a way I could help you if you like."

So as the train slows down th...

Two Jersey cows are in a field under a tree. The 1st cow says to the 2nd “Hey George have you heard about mad cow disease? They say it makes us cows go crazy and then they fall over dead!"

George replies "Well it's a damn good thing I‘m a helicopter!”

Why does a flamingo lift up one leg?

Because if it lifted up two, it would fall over

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Some great one-liners.

My daughter asked me for a pet spider for her birthday, so I went to our local pet shop and they were £70!!! Blow this, I thought. I can get one cheaper off the web.

I was at an ATM yesterday when a little old lady asked if I could check her balance, so I pushed her over.

My neigh...

[Long]A squad of soldiers-in-training stood in line to get their practice weapons...

...for an upcoming simulated battle. As the last guy got up to the sergeant, the sergeant said, “sorry son, we’re all out. Take this broom instead.” The private looked puzzled so the sergeant explained, “When you see the enemy, point the broom at them and say ‘bangity, bangity, bang.’ Don’t worry, i...

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