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Ensures Jokes

For-profit healthcare is a great system that benefits patients and ensures higher quality care.

lul

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An Englishman, an American and an Irishman walk into a Bar.

Each orders a double scotch.

Through a stroke of misfortune, a fly lands in each of their drinks.

The Englishman calls the waiter, points out the fly, and gets his drink returned.

The American looks around a while, ensures no one is looking, takes the fly out with a pair of twee...

I really love playing my Nintendo Switch on the bus during my commute to work.

Ensures plenty of Mii time.

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A young guy drops off his girlfriend at her home after being out together on a date

When they reach the front door he leans up against the house with one hand and says to her,

"How about a blowjob?"

"What! Are you crazy!"

"Dont worry, it will be quick," he ensures his girlfriend.

"No! Someone might see us..."

"Its just a sm...

What is the difference between a Mother and Wife?

One woman brings you into this world crying and the other ensures you continue to do so.

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Three programmers in the bathroom

The first programmer finishes, walks over to the sink to wash his hands. He then proceeds to dry his hands very carefully. He uses paper towel after paper towel and ensures that every single spot of water on his hands is dried.

Turning to the other two, he says, "At Windows, we are trained to...

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A man holding a monkey walks into a bar .

He sits on a stool and asks for a drink, the bartender is a bit surprised to see someone with a monkey, but leaves him be.

Mid drink the monkey jumps to a table nearby and starts eating stuff, first some peanuts, then a sip of beer, the bartender starts to say something, but the man instantly...

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Camping with your friend

Two friends are camping and they're sitting around the fire when one gets up to take a leak. He starts screaming "A snake bit my dick! A snake bit my dick!" His friend calms him down and ensures that he'll call a doctor. Once he calls the doctor, he starts to relay the doctors instructions to his fr...

will you enjoy some humour?

Q: Why doesn't law permit a man to marry a second woman?
A: Because as per law you cannot be punished twice for the same offense!

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Man: Is there any way for long life?
Dr: Get married.
Man: Will it help?
Dr: No, but the thought of long li...

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Hung Like a Baby

A young, and very conservative couple is planning to get married. They are deeply in love, but have scarcely done more than hold hands, and only with each other. As they walk along the downtown streets of their city, admiring wedding dresses and cakes at various shops, and making notes about what th...

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