UPJOKE
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Thank you student loans for helping me get through college and for all that you've done for me!

I don't know how I'll ever repay you.

Just when you think the celebrity deaths are done for 2016,

Wham! there's one more.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Scarlett Johansson and some guy were the only survivors of a shipwreck.

They didn't know each other before the shipwreck, but he did know who she was...

At the beginning it was hard, but as time passed, this guy learnt how to provide food and shelter, he started taking care of her, and eventually she started caring about him... after all, there wasn't anybody els...

A Priest, a Doctor, and an Engineer are playing golf

An engineer, a priest, and a doctor are trying to enjoying a round of golf. Ahead of them is a group playing so slowly and inexpertly that in frustration the three ask the greenkeeper for an explanation. “That’s a group of blind firefighters,” they are told. “They lost their sight saving our clubhou...

I'll never understand why people say Taco Bell isn't "real" Mexican food.

It gets the job done for half the price. That's about as Mexican as it gets.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Woman in the 1800s becomes very upset after seeing the painting an artist had done for her. She says to him, "I tell you I want a painting commemorating my husband's last thoughts, and you give me cows with halos and Indians making love?”

"Miss," he says. "Those are your husband's last thoughts." "Holy cow, look at all those fucking Indians."

Q: Why are baby otters born furry?

A: The mother pre-furs them that way.

[Came up with this while nursing today's hangover, lol. My brain is now done for the day.]

Yesterday I spotted an albino Dalmatian

It was the least I could have done for him.

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