There was a man in Romania who drove a train for a living...

There was a man in Romania who drove a train for a living.

He loved his job, driving a train had been his dream ever since he was a child.

He loved to make the train go as fast as possible.

Unfortunately, one day he was a little too reckless and caused a crash.

He made it...

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

Two nuns are driving down a dark, winding road in rural Romania. . .

when they turn a corner to see a vampire hovering over what appears to be a body in the middle of the road. It looks up and hisses as the headlights illuminate blood-covered fangs.

Sister Mary looks at Sister Elizabeth and says, "What should I do?"

Sister Elizabeth answers, "Show him y...

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

best jokes about Albania, from Romania:

Why the Albanian submarines resurface every 2 minutes? So the rowers can breath.

How do you destroy an Albanian tank? You shot the guy that pushes it.

Why did the Albanians lost the war? The archer was sick.

The Albanians managed to releases on market their fist computer, it's k...

I took a novel around Romania with me but it got tired.

So I gave the Bucharest

A van full of nuns is driving through Romania

The nuns get to Transylvania and a vampire jumps onto their windshield. The nuns panic and one in the back yells to the driver โ€œSpeed up! Speed up!โ€ So the driver hits the gas and no matter how fast they go the vampire holds on tight.

โ€œHit the brakes! Hit the brakes!โ€ Another nun yells fr...

Why did the Romanian stop reading?

They wanted to give the Bucharest

A very rich American gentleman...

A very rich American gentleman was walking along minding his own business, briefcase in hand. He wore glasses, a suit, and a well-trimmed beard.

Suddenly, a shorter, poorly dressed man appeared in his path. He desperately needed a shave and his eyes seemed to bug out.

"Sir! May I ple...

Two nuns are driving through Romania

And they pass by Transylvania when a vampire leaps on their car. When the passenger nun fails to get the vampire off, the driver nun tells her, "Quick! Show him your cross!"

The passenger nun shouts "GET OFF THE DAMN CAR!"

Communism in Romania.

A homeless child walks into a Romanian store that has relatively empty shelves. He asks the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, if you don't mind, do you have any bread you can spare for someone hungry?"

The shopkeeper responds, "Sorry man, in this store we don't have any cheese. Next door is where they ...

Three girls are vacationing in Romania when they come across a gypsy

The gypsy says, "I'll bet you 20 leu each that I can guess which country you're visiting from just by looking at you." The girls think there's no way this hack gypsy can tell where they're from just by looking, so they take the bet. The gypsy scans them for a few seconds and says, "you're all Americ...

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

The autonomous hungarian

Somewhere in Transylvania, Romania.

Hungarian ethnic Istvan marries a romanian woman. His dad gives him the last advices for the wedding night:

- ''Istvan, my son, when you get back home take her in your arms and carry her over the doorstep, so she'll see hungarians are strong. Then yo...

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

A 20 year old man visited his 100 year old grandmother

The 20 year old asked what was her secret to living so long.
His grandmother replied, "I will tell you if you do one thing for me, tell me how grains of sand on every beach in the entire world!"
The 20 year old planning to travel the world took this challenge and set off counting every grain ...

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

These puns are Capital!

So I had a productive day at work coming up with these Capital City puns a year ago today. Thought they were too good not to share!

Why did the Geordie arrange a holiday to Romania?

To book a rest!

Bob Mortimer was speaking to his comedy partner's wife saying he wanted to take h...

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

In 1993, the American Government funded a study to see why the head of a man's penis was larger than the shaft.

After one year and $180,000, they concluded that the reason the head was larger than the shaft was to give the man more pleasure during sex.
After the US published the study, France decided to do their own study.
After $250,000.00, and three years of research, they concluded that the reason wa...

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

A company is holding job interviews for a position of Financial Analyst

3 people apply: A blonde, a jew and a mathematician.
The blonde enters, the interviewer asks her: What is 2 + 2 ? The blonde thinks for 10 minutes, answeres 5.
The jew enters, receives the same question, answeres: What do you want it to make ?
The mathematician enters, receives the same que...

Remember the undies with the days of the week on them, Monday, Tuesday....?

In Romania we had something similar, our girls on their undies had January, February....

Old joke from when my dad was a kid

My dad told me that when he was a kid in Romania (late 1960's). The old people in the town told him that if you take meat and rub it against the school at night that dogs would come and eat the school and there would be no school the next day.

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.