UPJOKE
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What do you call an abortion in the Czech Republic?

.. a cancelled check ..

A lawyer and his friend from the Czech Republic were camping, when they heard a rustling sound.

They looked behind them and saw a huge male grizzly bear jumping out at them from behind a bush. The two friends fled for their lives, and the bear chased them.

The lawyer escaped, but his friend wasn't so lucky. The lawyer watched in horror as his friend was swiped by the bear's mighty paw a...

In today’s European Championship soccer match, several players from the Czech Republic were seen slipping on the grass repeatedly in their loss to Denmark, while their Danish opponents didn’t seem to have an issue at all.

Must be an issue with Czechs and balances.

Why do kids in the Czech Republic get twice as many Christmas presents?

Because Santa Clause made a list and he Czeched it twice.

My son went to school in the Czech Republic just for the attractive women

He wanted to study a broad

Bohemia just announced its plans to secede from the Czech Republic.

Is this the real life?

Did you hear about the place in western Czech Republic where they do hip-hop covers of Queen songs?

It's the Bohemian Rap City.

I ordered a mail-order bride from the Czech Republic

Czech mate

I have a couple of friends from Czech Republic who are sound technicians

Czech one. Czech two

There is this guy from the Czech Republic that plays chess with his Austrian friend.

Czech mate.

What's the most popular kind of music in the Czech Republic?

Prague Rock

What country does not accept cash or credit cards?

The Czech Republic

Germany and the Czech Republic have left the EU to form their own fully integrated economy.

Their currency is called the ✓

What's a chess player's favorite country?

Czech Republic

A Czech joke translation

Since we're all translating jokes, this is one I heard when I lived in Prague. FYI, it was a big hit when I told it in Sweden using Norway as the other country.

So an incredibly nefarious criminal escapes from prison in the Czech Republic. Rumor is he went across the border to Slovakia. So th...

Where did the practice of signing a piece of paper in exchange for services and goods start?

The Czech Republic.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A tourist is eaten by a python at the zoo.

Two tourists from the Czech republic are visiting New York. At the zoo, one leans forward, trying to get real close to the pythons. He falls down into the enclosure and is quickly swallowed whole.


Panicking, the other guy runs up to a caretaker and cries out for help. The caretaker asks h...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The most effective way to commit suicide;

Step 1: Move to the Czech Republic

Step 2: Run for office

Step 3: Implement policies that piss off the majority of the population

Step 4: Go to the top floor of a building in Prague

Step 5: Wait

A very wealthy lawyer vacationed for several weeks each year...

... at his summer home in the backwoods of Maine. Each summer, he would invite friends to come to visit him.

One summer he invited a lawyer from the Czech Republic to visit. The friend, eager to see how a wealthy American vacationed, gratefully agreed. They had a wonderful vacation, and spen...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Slovak oligarch, Japanese nationalist, communist and a pirate meet in a parliament...

This isn't a joke. It's Czech Republic.

Two famous explorers decided to trek across Canada...

They planned for months to make it the perfect trip, and they each had the support of their respective governments. Each explorer was to make a daily video call to their country's #1 news station to update them on their trip, in return for funding.
The explorer from Poland set out, and he met th...

Which country's people are least likely to use cash?

The Czech Republic.

A group with a man from every country goes to a restaurant, but one refuses to enter. Who and why?

The guy from the Czech Republic, because the sign read that you can pay with Czech.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A couple had only been married for two weeks.

A couple had only been married for two weeks. The husband, although very much in love, couldn't wait to go out on the town and party with his old buddies. So, he said to his new wife, "Honey, I'll be right back."

Where are you going, Coochy Coo?" asked the wife.
"I'm going to the bar, Pre...

Manyard Begley, a wealthy patent lawyer, had a lovely summer house in rural maine.

Manyard Begley, a wealthy patent lawyer, had a lovely summer house in rural maine. Each year, he invited a different friend to spend a week or two with him.

One year, he decided to invite a friend from the Czech Republic. The two friends had an amazing time together, rising early and going h...

At The Zoo

One day, a man from the Czech Republic came to visit his friend in New York.When asked what he wanted to see, the visitor replied, "I would like to see one of the zoos in America."

To his delight, the New Yorker took him to the Bronx Zoo. They were touring the zoo, and standing in front of th...

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