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What’s the best thing about Switzerland?

I don't know but the flag is a big plus.

You could say a lot of bad things about Switzerland

But their flag is a big plus.

I met my new neighbor today. Turns out he's Swiss.

I told him I'd never met someone from Switzerland before, and asked what he likes most about his home country.

He shrugged. "I dunno. The flag's a big plus."

Did you know Darth Vader’s cousin lives in Switzerland and drives a cab?

He’s called ‘Taxi Vader’

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I was riding my motorcycle down a serpentine in Switzerland

When I entered a small forest in the valley a deer showed up in the middle of the road, and in spite of all of my maneuvering I crashed in to it and flew into a ditch going along the road and passed out. When I woke up and climbed up back to the road i saw a beautiful old cabriolet with a hot brunet...

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In 1944, Germany was losing WWII and was desperate for money. Nazi party officials secretely visited Switzerland bankers and offered to trade an entire division of Panzers in exchange for precious metals.

Tanks for the gold!

Why did the pervert moved to Switzerland?

Because he likes to watch.

I move to Switzerland a year ago.

A friend asked me how much I like the country.

I said "Well, the flag is a big plus."

A man wants to deposit money at a Swiss bank.

"How much do you want to deposit?" asks the bank employee.

Whispers the man, "Three million."

"You can speak up," says the bank clerk. "In Switzerland, poverty is not a disgrace."

What’s the difference between Switzerland and America?

In Switzerland, the cheese is filled with holes


In America, the kids are

Breaking News: All liquids in Switzerland are being converted to a pH of 7

The government were asked if they thought this was good idea. They claimed to be neutral

An English lady, while vacationing in Switzerland, fell in love with a small town and the surrounding countryside.

She asked the pastor of a local church if he knew of any houses with rooms to rent that were close to town, but out in the country. The pastor kindly drove her out to see a house with a room to rent. She loved the house and decided to rent the room. Then, the lady returned to her home in England to ...

Due to COVID-19, this was the first year I could not go to Switzerland for my summer vacation

Otherwise it's due to the lack of money.

An english schoolteacher was in Switzerland...

An English schoolteacher, was in Switzerland and looking for a room to rent for when she would begin her teaching there the following fall. She asked the schoolmaster if he would recommed any. He took her to see several rooms, and when everything was settled she returned home to make final preparati...

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Three Professors travel in a train in Switzerland...

A professor of sociology, a professor of mathematics and a professor of philosophy travel to a congress by train into Switzerland.

Looking out of the windows, the professor of sociology sees a black sheep.

"How interesting" he exclaims. "it appears there are black sheep in Switzerland"...

A 16 year old boy arrives home...

A 16 year old boy arrives home with his new driving license, and says to his father:

\- Dad, I bought a brand new Bentley.

\-What? Those cars are worth >$200.000 and you don't have a buck.

\- Yes, look at it parked there: it cost me $50.

The father looks out of the win...

Why doesn't Switzerland make good cars?

You can only put them in neutral.

During the First World War, Switzerland was the coat hanger of the other fighting countries,

When war ended, Switzerland gave the coats back ...

But without the wallets

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A hiker was traveling through Switzerland when he got tired, so he decided to stop at the next house he passed.

In that house lived a farmer, his wife, and his daughter. When the hiker knocked on the door, the farmer told him to sleep in the barn. Then the farmer went straight to bed.

The farmer's daughter went down to the barn and returned an hour later covered in straw, with her clothes all dishevele...

I really thought my wife was joking when she said she wanted to see a Monkees tribute band play in Switzerland.

And then I saw her face, now I’m in Geneva...

I'm thinking of moving to Switzerland

No particular reason, but the flag's a big plus

Switzerland is a great country, with amazing views and nice people

And their flag is also great, which is a huge plus.

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My dick is like Switzerland’s military

Impressive but useless because it never gets used.

There was a peasant married couple in Switzerland during WWII.

They had just had twin sons that they knew weren’t safe in Europe with the bombing and havoc around their country. They separated them by sending one of them to Mexico and one to Arabia. The Mexican brother was named Juan by his foster parents, and the Arabian family named the other brother Ahmal. T...

They locked down and instituted a curfew in the capital of Switzerland.

It's a controlled Bern.

Switzerland is arguably one of the best countries on the planet

The Alps are pretty cool, and the flag is a big plus.

Why don't Switzerland's cars have brakes?

Because their always on neutral.

Where is the most extravagant brothel in Switzerland, with the most expensive hookers?

The FIFA headquarters.

An old professor of Particle Physics and his assistant were having beers at a pub in London when the conversation drifted to the experiments with the Large Hadron Collider near Geneva, Switzerland.

The assistant mentioned one of the wonderous things the famous particle collider can do. "The Collider can accelerate protons," the assistant began.

The professor smiled and said, "Yes, I've seen it do that, personally."

Surprised and intrigued that his mentor had worked with ...

From what I've learnt during my education about European countries, Switzerland seems like a great place

The best part about it is its flag. It's a big plus

A man enters (not a bar) a bank...

... in Switzerland. "Shhh" he whispers, "I want to open an account with one million Dollars!"

"No need to whisper" says the teller, "poverty is no reason for shame in Switzerland".

What's the callsign of an aircraft carrying the president of Switzerland?

Tobler One

The German tax evader in Switzerland

A German wants to bring his untaxed savings to a number account in Switzerland.

He sneaks into the bank, looks around and whispers to the bank assistant:
"Psst! I've got 2 million euros in my suitcase!"

The bank assistant replies in a normal voice:
"Why do you try to be so unsusp...

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