I want to move to Switzerland

The people are pleasant, the economy is great, and the flag is a big plus.

What's the best part about living in Switzerland?

I don't know, but the flag is a big plus.

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I was riding my motorcycle down a serpentine in Switzerland

When I entered a small forest in the valley a deer showed up in the middle of the road, and in spite of all of my maneuvering I crashed in to it and flew into a ditch going along the road and passed out. When I woke up and climbed up back to the road i saw a beautiful old cabriolet with a hot brunet...

From what I've learnt during my education about European countries, Switzerland seems like a great place

The best part about it is its flag. It's a big plus

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My dick is like Switzerland’s military

Impressive but useless because it never gets used.

What’s the difference between Switzerland and America?

In Switzerland, the cheese is filled with holes


In America, the kids are

An old professor of Particle Physics and his assistant were having beers at a pub in London when the conversation drifted to the experiments with the Large Hadron Collider near Geneva, Switzerland.

The assistant mentioned one of the wonderous things the famous particle collider can do. "The Collider can accelerate protons," the assistant began.

The professor smiled and said, "Yes, I've seen it do that, personally."

Surprised and intrigued that his mentor had worked with ...

There was a peasant married couple in Switzerland during WWII.

They had just had twin sons that they knew weren’t safe in Europe with the bombing and havoc around their country. They separated them by sending one of them to Mexico and one to Arabia. The Mexican brother was named Juan by his foster parents, and the Arabian family named the other brother Ahmal. T...

A German sneaks into a swiss bank:

"I want to invest one million euros." he whispers.

The banker says: "You can talk aloud, poverty is no shame in Switzerland."

I need to make a presentation about why Switzerland is the best country in the world.

There are many downsides.

But their flag is a big plus.

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Franz was reading his book on death row...

It was the ‘storm of the century’. On death row, Franz was reading his religious texts, looking for God, even as the inmates of the neighbouring cells were having an explosive argument about who should get to shower first. ’14 days to execution’, Franz thought, as he physically and mentally trembled...

During the First World War, Switzerland was the coat hanger of the other fighting countries,

When war ended, Switzerland gave the coats back ...

But without the wallets

Breaking News: All liquids in Switzerland are being converted to a pH of 7

The government were asked if they thought this was good idea. They claimed to be neutral

My wife said she'd love for us to go and see the Monkees reunion concert in Switzerland.

I thought she was joking.

Then I saw her face ........ Now I'm in Geneva..

What's the callsign of an aircraft carrying the president of Switzerland?

Tobler One

A distinguished young woman on a flight from Switzerland asked the priest seated beside her: "Father, may I ask a favor?"

A distinguished young woman on a flight from Switzerland asked the priest seated beside her: "Father, may I ask a favor?"

"Of course. What may I do for you?"

"Well, I bought an expensive electronic hair dryer that is well over the customs limits and I'm afraid they'll confiscate it. ...

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A popular joke in Nazi Germany

A Nazi Bigwig is on a diplomatic trip through Switzerland and notices a large government building. He asks his guide what agency it is.

The guide replies: "It's the head quarters of the marines"

The Nazi is surprised and laughs. "Why does Switzerland need a ministry of marines?"
...

Switzerland is a great country, with amazing views and nice people

And their flag is also great, which is a huge plus.

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A Nazi enters a bank in Switzerland

A Nazi enters a bank in Switzerland with some money illegaly earned he has to deposit.

Then he silently walks towards the banker and whispers "I have to deposite, ehm... 2 milion...".

"It's all OK - says the banker smiling - here in Switzerland to be poor isn't a shame".

During WW1 Switzerland had 250 000 soldiers

The German Kaiser asked the Swiss ambassador in Berlin: "What would Switzerland do if I invaded with 500 000 soldiers?"

The ambassador replied: "Shoot twice and go home."

So I'm weighing the pros and cons for moving to Switzerland...

The flag is a big plus...

Credit to my 13yr old for this one too!

Where is the most extravagant brothel in Switzerland, with the most expensive hookers?

The FIFA headquarters.

A busload of retired Americans was touring Switzerland.

On the third day, they visited a farm known for its excellent quality goat cheese.

The young farmer's wife gave them a tour, a cheese making a demonstration, and finally some samples.

As the retirees were tasting the cheeses, she pointed to a pasture full of goats.

She said, "T...

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“God bless you.”

3 sisters were sitting in the porch drinking mint juleps.
Mary says, “My husband loves me so much, he built me a beautiful house with a wrap-around porch! Mable says, “That’s nice.” Irma says, “Bless your heart.”
Mable says, “My husband loves me so much, he bought me a brand new Cadilla...

Why doesn't Switzerland make good cars?

You can only put them in neutral.

My teacher was talking to us about our favourite countries

I said "I don't really mind Switzerland, but the flag is a big plus."

So I asked my friend what its like to live in Switzerland..

He said It's pretty cold but the flag is a huge plus

What happened to Donald Trump when he travelled to Switzerland?

He Felt the Bern

The German tax evader in Switzerland

A German wants to bring his untaxed savings to a number account in Switzerland.

He sneaks into the bank, looks around and whispers to the bank assistant:
"Psst! I've got 2 million euros in my suitcase!"

The bank assistant replies in a normal voice:
"Why do you try to be so unsusp...

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