What is the best thing about Switzerland?

I don't know, but the flag is a big plus...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was riding my motorcycle down a serpentine in Switzerland

When I entered a small forest in the valley a deer showed up in the middle of the road, and in spite of all of my maneuvering I crashed in to it and flew into a ditch going along the road and passed out. When I woke up and climbed up back to the road i saw a beautiful old cabriolet with a hot brunet...

Did you know Darth Vader’s cousin lives in Switzerland and drives a cab?

He’s called ‘Taxi Vader’

An English lady, while vacationing in Switzerland, fell in love with a small town and the surrounding countryside.

She asked the pastor of a local church if he knew of any houses with rooms to rent that were close to town, but out in the country. The pastor kindly drove her out to see a house with a room to rent. She loved the house and decided to rent the room. Then, the lady returned to her home in England to ...

Due to COVID-19, this was the first year I could not go to Switzerland for my summer vacation

Otherwise it's due to the lack of money.

What’s the difference between Switzerland and America?

In Switzerland, the cheese is filled with holes


In America, the kids are

A man wants to deposit money at a Swiss bank.

"How much do you want to deposit?" asks the bank employee.

Whispers the man, "Three million."

"You can speak up," says the bank clerk. "In Switzerland, poverty is not a disgrace."

I move to Switzerland a year ago.

A friend asked me how much I like the country.

I said "Well, the flag is a big plus."

Breaking News: All liquids in Switzerland are being converted to a pH of 7

The government were asked if they thought this was good idea. They claimed to be neutral

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A hiker was traveling through Switzerland when he got tired, so he decided to stop at the next house he passed.

In that house lived a farmer, his wife, and his daughter. When the hiker knocked on the door, the farmer told him to sleep in the barn. Then the farmer went straight to bed.

The farmer's daughter went down to the barn and returned an hour later covered in straw, with her clothes all dishevele...

Why did the pervert moved to Switzerland?

Because he likes to watch.

I really thought my wife was joking when she said she wanted to see a Monkees tribute band play in Switzerland.

And then I saw her face, now I’m in Geneva...

< Hell Around The World >



A man from Russia dies and goes to Hell. There he finds that there is a different Hell
for each country. He goes first to the German Hell and asks "What do they do
here?" He is told "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then
they lay you on a bed of nails...

A distinguished young woman on a flight from Switzerland asked the priest seated beside her: "Father, may I ask a favor?"

A distinguished young woman on a flight from Switzerland asked the priest seated beside her: "Father, may I ask a favor?"

"Of course. What may I do for you?"

"Well, I bought an expensive electronic hair dryer that is well over the customs limits and I'm afraid they'll confiscate it. ...

An english schoolteacher was in Switzerland...

An English schoolteacher, was in Switzerland and looking for a room to rent for when she would begin her teaching there the following fall. She asked the schoolmaster if he would recommed any. He took her to see several rooms, and when everything was settled she returned home to make final preparati...

During the First World War, Switzerland was the coat hanger of the other fighting countries,

When war ended, Switzerland gave the coats back ...

But without the wallets

There was a peasant married couple in Switzerland during WWII.

They had just had twin sons that they knew weren’t safe in Europe with the bombing and havoc around their country. They separated them by sending one of them to Mexico and one to Arabia. The Mexican brother was named Juan by his foster parents, and the Arabian family named the other brother Ahmal. T...

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My dick is like Switzerland’s military

Impressive but useless because it never gets used.

An old professor of Particle Physics and his assistant were having beers at a pub in London when the conversation drifted to the experiments with the Large Hadron Collider near Geneva, Switzerland.

The assistant mentioned one of the wonderous things the famous particle collider can do. "The Collider can accelerate protons," the assistant began.

The professor smiled and said, "Yes, I've seen it do that, personally."

Surprised and intrigued that his mentor had worked with ...

They locked down and instituted a curfew in the capital of Switzerland.

It's a controlled Bern.

Switzerland is a great country, with amazing views and nice people

And their flag is also great, which is a huge plus.

Switzerland is arguably one of the best countries on the planet

The Alps are pretty cool, and the flag is a big plus.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

American beer

American beer is like having sex on a canoe
- fucking close to water

Marry Christmas from Switzerland

From what I've learnt during my education about European countries, Switzerland seems like a great place

The best part about it is its flag. It's a big plus

Why doesn't Switzerland make good cars?

You can only put them in neutral.

Where is the most extravagant brothel in Switzerland, with the most expensive hookers?

The FIFA headquarters.

During WW1 Switzerland had 250 000 soldiers

The German Kaiser asked the Swiss ambassador in Berlin: "What would Switzerland do if I invaded with 500 000 soldiers?"

The ambassador replied: "Shoot twice and go home."

A French Man tried to kill himself near the Switzerland border.

He was stopped and taken by the police to the nearest Police Station for Interrogation

Interrogation Officer: Why do you want to kill yourself? Also, don't you live in Paris? Why did you come all the way near the Border?

Man: Ah officer, That's because I love Swiss-side.

Why don't Switzerland's cars have brakes?

Because their always on neutral.

I'm rooting for Switzerland in the World Cup.

I don't know much about the team, but their flag is a big plus.

So I'm weighing the pros and cons for moving to Switzerland...

The flag is a big plus...

Credit to my 13yr old for this one too!

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