Due to COVID-19, this was the first year I could not go to Switzerland for my summer vacation

Otherwise it's due to the lack of money.

What's the best thing about Switzerland?

I don't know, but the flag is a big plus.

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American beer

American beer is like having sex on a canoe
- fucking close to water

Marry Christmas from Switzerland

So there was this man in Switzerland who drove trains for a living.

He loved his job. Driving a train had been his dream ever since he was a child. He loved to make the train go as fast as possible. Unfortunately, one day he was a little too reckless and caused a crash. He made it out, but a single person died. Well, needless to say, he went to court over this incid...

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I was riding my motorcycle down a serpentine in Switzerland

When I entered a small forest in the valley a deer showed up in the middle of the road, and in spite of all of my maneuvering I crashed in to it and flew into a ditch going along the road and passed out. When I woke up and climbed up back to the road i saw a beautiful old cabriolet with a hot brunet...

What’s the difference between Switzerland and America?

In Switzerland, the cheese is filled with holes


In America, the kids are

I really thought my wife was joking when she said she wanted to see a Monkees tribute band play in Switzerland.

And then I saw her face, now I’m in Geneva...

They locked down and instituted a curfew in the capital of Switzerland.

It's a controlled Bern.

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Problem solving

A software engineer, hardware engineer, and departmental manager were on their way to a meeting in Switzerland. They were driving down a steep mountain road when suddenly the brakes failed. The car careened out of control, bouncing off guardrails until it miraculously ground to a scraping halt along...

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Henry Kissinger was once asked to explain what shuttle diplomacy was.

– Oh! It is a never-failing old Jewish method. Let me give you an example. Suppose you want to marry Rockefeller’s daughter to a lad from a Siberian village.
– How would you do that?
– Easy. I go to a Siberian village, find there a young man and ask him, “Would you like to marry an American Je...

A French Man tried to kill himself near the Switzerland border.

He was stopped and taken by the police to the nearest Police Station for Interrogation

Interrogation Officer: Why do you want to kill yourself? Also, don't you live in Paris? Why did you come all the way near the Border?

Man: Ah officer, That's because I love Swiss-side.

An english schoolteacher was in Switzerland...

An English schoolteacher, was in Switzerland and looking for a room to rent for when she would begin her teaching there the following fall. She asked the schoolmaster if he would recommed any. He took her to see several rooms, and when everything was settled she returned home to make final preparati...

I want to move to Switzerland

The people are pleasant, the economy is great, and the flag is a big plus.

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My dick is like Switzerland’s military

Impressive but useless because it never gets used.

Breaking News: All liquids in Switzerland are being converted to a pH of 7

The government were asked if they thought this was good idea. They claimed to be neutral

During the First World War, Switzerland was the coat hanger of the other fighting countries,

When war ended, Switzerland gave the coats back ...

But without the wallets

Switzerland is arguably one of the best countries on the planet

The Alps are pretty cool, and the flag is a big plus.

A distinguished young woman on a flight from Switzerland asked the priest seated beside her: "Father, may I ask a favor?"

A distinguished young woman on a flight from Switzerland asked the priest seated beside her: "Father, may I ask a favor?"

"Of course. What may I do for you?"

"Well, I bought an expensive electronic hair dryer that is well over the customs limits and I'm afraid they'll confiscate it. ...

There was a peasant married couple in Switzerland during WWII.

They had just had twin sons that they knew weren’t safe in Europe with the bombing and havoc around their country. They separated them by sending one of them to Mexico and one to Arabia. The Mexican brother was named Juan by his foster parents, and the Arabian family named the other brother Ahmal. T...

Two hydrogen atoms decide that they want to ride on the Large Hadron Collider.

They jump on a plane to Switzerland and sneak in while no one is looking. As they start to speed up one of them realises that they have both lost their electrons. It mentions it to his friend who asks "Are you sure?"

It replys "I'm positive."

Why don't Switzerland's cars have brakes?

Because their always on neutral.

An old professor of Particle Physics and his assistant were having beers at a pub in London when the conversation drifted to the experiments with the Large Hadron Collider near Geneva, Switzerland.

The assistant mentioned one of the wonderous things the famous particle collider can do. "The Collider can accelerate protons," the assistant began.

The professor smiled and said, "Yes, I've seen it do that, personally."

Surprised and intrigued that his mentor had worked with ...

During WW1 Switzerland had 250 000 soldiers

The German Kaiser asked the Swiss ambassador in Berlin: "What would Switzerland do if I invaded with 500 000 soldiers?"

The ambassador replied: "Shoot twice and go home."

I'm rooting for Switzerland in the World Cup.

I don't know much about the team, but their flag is a big plus.

Why doesn't Switzerland make good cars?

You can only put them in neutral.

An English lady, while vacationing in Switzerland, fell in love with a small town and the surrounding countryside.

She asked the pastor of a local church if he knew of any houses with rooms to rent that were close to town, but out in the country. The pastor kindly drove her out to see a house with a room to rent. She loved the house and decided to rent the room. Then, the lady returned to her home in England to ...

Switzerland is a great country, with amazing views and nice people

And their flag is also great, which is a huge plus.

From what I've learnt during my education about European countries, Switzerland seems like a great place

The best part about it is its flag. It's a big plus

Where is the most extravagant brothel in Switzerland, with the most expensive hookers?

The FIFA headquarters.

What's the callsign of an aircraft carrying the president of Switzerland?

Tobler One

Switzerland is such a cool place.

I honestly don't know much about the country itself, but the flag is a plus.

So I'm weighing the pros and cons for moving to Switzerland...

The flag is a big plus...

Credit to my 13yr old for this one too!

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