Due to COVID-19, this was the first year I could not go to Switzerland for my summer vacation

Otherwise it's due to the lack of money.

What’s the best thing about Switzerland?

I sure don’t know, but their flag is a big plus!

I want to move to Switzerland

The people are pleasant, the economy is great, and the flag is a big plus.

An English lady, while vacationing in Switzerland, fell in love with a small town and the surrounding countryside.

She asked the pastor of a local church if he knew of any houses with rooms to rent that were close to town, but out in the country. The pastor kindly drove her out to see a house with a room to rent. She loved the house and decided to rent the room. Then, the lady returned to her home in England to ...

Switzerland is arguably one of the best countries on the planet

The Alps are pretty cool, and the flag is a big plus.

An english schoolteacher was in Switzerland...

An English schoolteacher, was in Switzerland and looking for a room to rent for when she would begin her teaching there the following fall. She asked the schoolmaster if he would recommed any. He took her to see several rooms, and when everything was settled she returned home to make final preparati...

What’s the difference between Switzerland and America?

In Switzerland, the cheese is filled with holes


In America, the kids are

Why don't Switzerland's cars have brakes?

Because their always on neutral.

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I was riding my motorcycle down a serpentine in Switzerland

When I entered a small forest in the valley a deer showed up in the middle of the road, and in spite of all of my maneuvering I crashed in to it and flew into a ditch going along the road and passed out. When I woke up and climbed up back to the road i saw a beautiful old cabriolet with a hot brunet...

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My dick is like Switzerland’s military

Impressive but useless because it never gets used.

There was a peasant married couple in Switzerland during WWII.

They had just had twin sons that they knew weren’t safe in Europe with the bombing and havoc around their country. They separated them by sending one of them to Mexico and one to Arabia. The Mexican brother was named Juan by his foster parents, and the Arabian family named the other brother Ahmal. T...

From what I've learnt during my education about European countries, Switzerland seems like a great place

The best part about it is its flag. It's a big plus

An old professor of Particle Physics and his assistant were having beers at a pub in London when the conversation drifted to the experiments with the Large Hadron Collider near Geneva, Switzerland.

The assistant mentioned one of the wonderous things the famous particle collider can do. "The Collider can accelerate protons," the assistant began.

The professor smiled and said, "Yes, I've seen it do that, personally."

Surprised and intrigued that his mentor had worked with ...

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A well-traveled man goes to a strip club

When he gets a lap dance from one of the strippers, he asks if she is Chilean

‘Yes, I am!’ she says ‘How did you know?’

‘Well’ says the man ‘Much like Chile, you are tall and slim’

He later gets a lap dance from another stripper, and asks if she is Swiss

‘Yes, I am!’ she ...

A distinguished young woman on a flight from Switzerland asked the priest seated beside her: "Father, may I ask a favor?"

A distinguished young woman on a flight from Switzerland asked the priest seated beside her: "Father, may I ask a favor?"

"Of course. What may I do for you?"

"Well, I bought an expensive electronic hair dryer that is well over the customs limits and I'm afraid they'll confiscate it. ...

Breaking News: All liquids in Switzerland are being converted to a pH of 7

The government were asked if they thought this was good idea. They claimed to be neutral

A nervous-looking man walks into a Swiss bank, clutching a suitcase

He walks up to one of the tellers, his face damp, and says, in a low whisper:

"Hello, I'd like to deposit one million dollars... in cash."

The teller leans forward and smiles in a friendly way, and replies, in a normal tone of voice:

"You don't need to whisper here. In Switzerla...

Switzerland is a great country, with amazing views and nice people

And their flag is also great, which is a huge plus.

The next generation of the Nigerian email scam is here :P

Hello My Dear


Calvary Greetings in the name of the ALMIGHTY


I am Mrs Monica Gorgia from Switzerland I am married to Mr Joseph Gorgia who is a wealthy business man here in Burkina Faso. we are devoted christian.
We own a papermill in Nigeria where we currently have ...

During the First World War, Switzerland was the coat hanger of the other fighting countries,

When war ended, Switzerland gave the coats back ...

But without the wallets

"The Dog Story" from Lewis Grizzard

One of the greatest, "The Dog Story"

>We are playing Auburn. Sanford Stadium. National Television. Winner wins the Southeastern Conference; goes to the Sugar Bowl.
85,000 people jammed into Sanford Stadium. National television audience. This game is on the Armed Service Network. Peopl...

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A Nazi enters a bank in Switzerland

A Nazi enters a bank in Switzerland with some money illegaly earned he has to deposit.

Then he silently walks towards the banker and whispers "I have to deposite, ehm... 2 milion...".

"It's all OK - says the banker smiling - here in Switzerland to be poor isn't a shame".

Switzerland is such a cool place.

I honestly don't know much about the country itself, but the flag is a plus.

My wife said she'd love for us to go and see the Monkees reunion concert in Switzerland.

I thought she was joking.

Then I saw her face ........ Now I'm in Geneva..

What's the callsign of an aircraft carrying the president of Switzerland?

Tobler One

I'm rooting for Switzerland in the World Cup.

I don't know much about the team, but their flag is a big plus.

Where is the most extravagant brothel in Switzerland, with the most expensive hookers?

The FIFA headquarters.

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Franz was reading his book on death row...

It was the ‘storm of the century’. On death row, Franz was reading his religious texts, looking for God, even as the inmates of the neighbouring cells were having an explosive argument about who should get to shower first. ’14 days to execution’, Franz thought, as he physically and mentally trembled...

So I'm weighing the pros and cons for moving to Switzerland...

The flag is a big plus...

Credit to my 13yr old for this one too!

Why doesn't Switzerland make good cars?

You can only put them in neutral.

A busload of retired Americans was touring Switzerland.

On the third day, they visited a farm known for its excellent quality goat cheese.

The young farmer's wife gave them a tour, a cheese making a demonstration, and finally some samples.

As the retirees were tasting the cheeses, she pointed to a pasture full of goats.

She said, "T...

A German sneaks into a swiss bank:

"I want to invest one million euros." he whispers.

The banker says: "You can talk aloud, poverty is no shame in Switzerland."

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