Asked my grandpa if he watched Austria Hungary football match

he asked me who played against

During the 80’s, many college students from Eastern Bloc countries - Poland, Hungary, and Romania met each other at a summer camp

Sitting around the campfire after supper, these young people tried their best to communicate with each other (Polish, Hungarian, and Romanian are totally not related), ultimately having to resort to some kind of sign language

Then one dude got an idea: “Hey, we all learned Russian in high sch...

“Grandpa, grandpa! I’m watching a soccer game!”

Grandpa: “Who’s playing?”

Grandson: “Austria-Hungary”

Grandpa: “Against who?”

Why was Austria-Hungary?

Turkey wasn't around yet.

Romania: Hey Hungary!

Romania: Wanna hear a joke?

Hungary: Sure!

Romania: Transilvania.

Hungary: I don't get it.

Romania: You will never get it.

I'm Hungary

Timmy: I'm Hungary,

Mum: Why don't you Czech the fridge.

Timmy: OK I'm Russian to the kitchen.

Mum: Hmmm.. may be you'll find some Turkey.

Timmy: Yeah but its all covered in Greece. yuck!

Mum: There is Norway you can eat that.

Timmy: I know, I guess I'...

A kid comes to his grandfather...

*"Hey Gramps, do you want to watch soccer with me?*

*"Sure, who's playing?"*

*"Austria-Hungary"*

*"Against whom?*

Why was Austria-Hungary lonely after 1914?

Because they didn't have Franz.

What is the capital of Hungary?

Starving

Joke I heard while in Hungary

Two cops are standing by the street side in New York City. A foreigner approaches them looking slightly panicked.

"Parlez vous Francais?" He asks them. The cops, not knowing a word of French merely shrug their shoulders at the man.

Frustrated, he asks them, "Ustedes hablan español?" Ag...

I was Hungary...

so Iran to Turkey

I'm Hungary

I'm Russian to the kitchen to czech the fridge

There is turkey
But it's covered in Greece
There's Norway I can eat that.

What would happen if Hungary invaded and conquered Turkey?

A new kingdom would be formed known as full.

A man from Hungary is fighting a well-endowed German

It's a Hungarian vs. a Hung-Aryan

What do you call a religious termite in Hungary?

Buddha-pest

Is she Hungary?

"Is she Hungary?" Jimmy asked.

"Alaska," said Johnny.

"Yes, Siam," she replied.

"All right. I'll Fiji," Jimmy offered.

"Oh, don't Russia " Johnny admonished.

"What if she Whales?" Jimmy demanded.

"Give her a Canada Chile," Johnny suggested.

"I'd rathe...

Why did Hitler invade Hungary?

Because he can't resist a HungAryan :)

Why did Hitler have a thing for men from Hungary?

Because they are Hung Arian's

Where do the world's skinniest models come from?

Hungary.

A brunette and a blonde visit a motel

Before they go in, brunette warns her friend "Don't fill in your own address. Pick some European country. They won't know the difference.".

In the form brunette states her country of origin as "Hungary" while the blonde, trying to remain inconspicuous, writes "Thirsty".

So my blonde, Hungarian girlfriend goes to the doctors office...

The doctor ask what’s wrong and my Hungarian girlfriend replies and says since she’s waken her stomach had been hurting.

The doctor then ask if shes eaten anything that she thinks might have upset her stomach.

My girlfriend says no, she hasn’t eaten anything out of the ordinary.
...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A 20 year old man visited his 100 year old grandmother

The 20 year old asked what was her secret to living so long.
His grandmother replied, "I will tell you if you do one thing for me, tell me how grains of sand on every beach in the entire world!"
The 20 year old planning to travel the world took this challenge and set off counting every grain ...

If you know anyone called Gary, warn them to not go to Budapest

I hear that's where they Hungary.

Three americans are competing to paint a foreign flag on a white sheet of canvas ...

The three are given only 30 minutes to complete their assignment.

The first student decides to paint Germany's flag, the second will paint the United Kingdom's, and the third Hungary's.

The first and second are already making good progress. The third's about to take his first brush str...

You wanna hear a geography joke?

Bob : "Hey Tom if you're Hungary I'll Serbia a Turkey Sandwich"

Tom : "Oman that was a bad joke"

Bob : "Yemen I know"

Tom : "You Syriasly need to stop with these jokes..."

Bob : "But Iraq at making jokes :("

So, I was at the UN headquarters...

So, I was at the UN headquarters and I was feeling a bit Hungary, so I was Russian to the kitchen to get a slice of Turkey, but it was covered in Greece. There's Norway I'm eating that, so I got some Chile instead. Something just Francy enough for me.

Did you know how Ukrainians felt in 1932?

Hungary.

Three generations apart, watching a soccer game

"Hey great grandpa, watch this soccer game!"

"Sure, which two countries are playing?"

"Austria - Hungary."

"Against who?"

I really like European food...

...so I decided to Russia over to a European restaurant because I was Hungary. After Czech'ing the menu I ordered Turkey. When I was Finnished I told the waiter 'Spain good but there is Norway I could eat another bite'.

I didn’t find the food in Budapest very filling,

so I left Hungary.

The media reported that two Eastern European countries were to play a part in a trade deal during negotiation.

The press later realized that they had misinterpreted a memo from the negotiating parties regarding their lunch order.

An intern was fired for leaving out many crucial details in the memo, including the side dishes and salads, failing to catch an important spelling error, and simplifying thei...

How do you end world hunger?

Put Turkey in Greece to cook it, then cut it up and put it into Chile. Then put it on China and give it to Hungary.

Why did one european country eat the other?

Because it was Hungary

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Don't know why some countries have food problems

If you're Hungary you could pour Greece over Turkey and fry it in Japan.

A Mercedes picks up a Hungarian hitchhiker...

This being Hungary, the hitchhiker isn't used to seeing Mercedes on the road, and asks what [that thing on the front of the car](http://www.automotive-stock-images.com/photos/hood-ornament-1928-mercedes-benz-680s.jpg) is. The driver, somewhat amused, jokes:

"Why, that's the car's sights. Like...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A letter from small mid-european country to world.

Dear World,

First the Romans come to us. They are now just dust in history, while WE are still here. Then Austria-Hungary hold us. The kingdom fell, while WE are still here. The Ottomans try to conquer us. They empire lies in ruin, while WE are still here. Nazis think us allies - they lose ba...

19th century monarchy humor, anyone?

So Otto von Habsburg walks into a sports bar, sees a game on, and asks the bartender who's playing. "Austria and Hungary," he replies. Otto: "Yeah, who are they playing against?"

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Some translated Italian jokes on the European immigrant crisis

Venezuela offers refuge to 20k immigrants. *Now I want to see how you even get here.*

France suggests bombing Syria. To drive out the last refugees.

Clashes on the border between Hungary and Serbia. If I were an Austrian archduke, I would stay home.

Merkel: "Refugees will change...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Food and Country

Yesterday I was so Hungary, I decided to Czech if there was any food.
I was Russian to the fridge, but found only a Turkey full of Greece.
Iran to the store to get some salt, pepper, Chile and Korea-nder, because I was in the mood for some Sweden sour.
I found Iraq of pork chops but there w...

TIL Ethiopian warriors conquered part of Central Europe in the 1300s

That's why they call it Hungary.

[Discussion] Regional targets

I am wondering who are the preferred targets of jokes from where you are from, I have done a little research and have come up with the following so far:

| Region | Target |
|:--|:--|
| Canada | Newfies |
| England | Irishmen |
| America | Polacks |
| France | Belgians |
| Br...

Map jokes

How do you get around in Italy? You Rome.
Why does everyone love Thailand? They Bangkok.
I Congo to Africa, Kenya?
Why do the French take there time? They hate to Russia
What's the unhappiest state? Misery
Who are the unhappiest Europeans? The Hungary ones.
Why are the so many Subw...