I'm Hungary

Timmy: I'm Hungary,

Mum: Why don't you Czech the fridge.

Timmy: OK I'm Russian to the kitchen.

Mum: Hmmm.. may be you'll find some Turkey.

Timmy: Yeah but its all covered in Greece. yuck!

Mum: There is Norway you can eat that.

Timmy: I know, I guess I'...

What do you do if you grew up In Hungary?

Move to Turkey

Why did Germany invade Hungary in WW2

They were jealous of the Hung-Aryans

I was Hungary so Iran to the store to get some Turkey

Which I cooked in Greece, and served with a side of Chile, which I ate with my friends Jordan and Chad. Sudanly we had Togo because we were Ghana get in trouble because we didn’t Finnish paying. But I’ve Benin trouble before, there was Norway they were going to catch me, I Congo much faster than the...

I was a magician in Europe who specialised in doing magic with pens. In England, Germany, France, Hungary, Portugal and many other places I was adored by the people. But when I got to Spain no-one liked me.

I guess nobody expects the Spanish ink wizard shun.

Why was Austria-Hungary?

Turkey wasn't around yet.

Do you know why I named my stomach "Budapest"?

Because it is the Capital of Hungary!

Asked my grandpa if he watched Austria Hungary football match

he asked me who played against

What did the Carolingian Empire say when the Hungarians invaded?

Stop it, you're making me Hungary!

What's it called when you take over one half of the capital of Hungary?

Pest control

“Grandpa, grandpa! I’m watching a soccer game!”

Grandpa: “Who’s playing?”

Grandson: “Austria-Hungary”

Grandpa: “Against who?”

During the 80’s, many college students from Eastern Bloc countries - Poland, Hungary, and Romania met each other at a summer camp

Sitting around the campfire after supper, these young people tried their best to communicate with each other (Polish, Hungarian, and Romanian are totally not related), ultimately having to resort to some kind of sign language

Then one dude got an idea: “Hey, we all learned Russian in high sch...

What would happen if Hungary invaded and conquered Turkey?

A new kingdom would be formed known as full.

Why was Austria-Hungary lonely after 1914?

Because they didn't have Franz.

In India rats are celebrated...

but in Hungary they Budapest.

What do you call a religious termite in Hungary?

Buddha-pest

A man from Hungary is fighting a well-endowed German

It's a Hungarian vs. a Hung-Aryan

Joke I heard while in Hungary

Two cops are standing by the street side in New York City. A foreigner approaches them looking slightly panicked.

"Parlez vous Francais?" He asks them. The cops, not knowing a word of French merely shrug their shoulders at the man.

Frustrated, he asks them, "Ustedes hablan español?" Ag...

Is she Hungary?

"Is she Hungary?" Jimmy asked.

"Alaska," said Johnny.

"Yes, Siam," she replied.

"All right. I'll Fiji," Jimmy offered.

"Oh, don't Russia " Johnny admonished.

"What if she Whales?" Jimmy demanded.

"Give her a Canada Chile," Johnny suggested.

"I'd rathe...

I'm Hungary

I'm Russian to the kitchen to czech the fridge

There is turkey
But it's covered in Greece
There's Norway I can eat that.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why did Hitler have a thing for men from Hungary?

Because they are Hung Arian's

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why did Hitler invade Hungary?

Because he can't resist a HungAryan :)

A kid comes to his grandfather...

*"Hey Gramps, do you want to watch soccer with me?*

*"Sure, who's playing?"*

*"Austria-Hungary"*

*"Against whom?*

I’ve been asked if I want to go for a weekend away to a Central European country by a guy at work.

Hungary?

No, Dave the cleaner. Gary is married.

Where do the world's skinniest models come from?

Hungary.

Three americans are competing to paint a foreign flag on a white sheet of canvas ...

The three are given only 30 minutes to complete their assignment.

The first student decides to paint Germany's flag, the second will paint the United Kingdom's, and the third Hungary's.

The first and second are already making good progress. The third's about to take his first brush str...

Three generations apart, watching a soccer game

"Hey great grandpa, watch this soccer game!"

"Sure, which two countries are playing?"

"Austria - Hungary."

"Against who?"

You wanna hear a geography joke?

Bob : "Hey Tom if you're Hungary I'll Serbia a Turkey Sandwich"

Tom : "Oman that was a bad joke"

Bob : "Yemen I know"

Tom : "You Syriasly need to stop with these jokes..."

Bob : "But Iraq at making jokes :("

So, I was at the UN headquarters...

So, I was at the UN headquarters and I was feeling a bit Hungary, so I was Russian to the kitchen to get a slice of Turkey, but it was covered in Greece. There's Norway I'm eating that, so I got some Chile instead. Something just Francy enough for me.

A brunette and a blonde visit a motel

Before they go in, brunette warns her friend "Don't fill in your own address. Pick some European country. They won't know the difference.".

In the form brunette states her country of origin as "Hungary" while the blonde, trying to remain inconspicuous, writes "Thirsty".

If you know anyone called Gary, warn them to not go to Budapest

I hear that's where they Hungary.

Did you know how Ukrainians felt in 1932?

Hungary.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So my blonde, Hungarian girlfriend goes to the doctors office...

The doctor ask what’s wrong and my Hungarian girlfriend replies and says since she’s waken her stomach had been hurting.

The doctor then ask if shes eaten anything that she thinks might have upset her stomach.

My girlfriend says no, she hasn’t eaten anything out of the ordinary.
...

I really like European food...

...so I decided to Russia over to a European restaurant because I was Hungary. After Czech'ing the menu I ordered Turkey. When I was Finnished I told the waiter 'Spain good but there is Norway I could eat another bite'.

I didn’t find the food in Budapest very filling,

so I left Hungary.

How do you end world hunger?

Put Turkey in Greece to cook it, then cut it up and put it into Chile. Then put it on China and give it to Hungary.

A Mercedes picks up a Hungarian hitchhiker...

This being Hungary, the hitchhiker isn't used to seeing Mercedes on the road, and asks what [that thing on the front of the car](http://www.automotive-stock-images.com/photos/hood-ornament-1928-mercedes-benz-680s.jpg) is. The driver, somewhat amused, jokes:

"Why, that's the car's sights. Like...

19th century monarchy humor, anyone?

So Otto von Habsburg walks into a sports bar, sees a game on, and asks the bartender who's playing. "Austria and Hungary," he replies. Otto: "Yeah, who are they playing against?"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Don't know why some countries have food problems

If you're Hungary you could pour Greece over Turkey and fry it in Japan.

Why did one european country eat the other?

Because it was Hungary

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Some translated Italian jokes on the European immigrant crisis

Venezuela offers refuge to 20k immigrants. *Now I want to see how you even get here.*

France suggests bombing Syria. To drive out the last refugees.

Clashes on the border between Hungary and Serbia. If I were an Austrian archduke, I would stay home.

Merkel: "Refugees will change...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Food and Country

Yesterday I was so Hungary, I decided to Czech if there was any food.
I was Russian to the fridge, but found only a Turkey full of Greece.
Iran to the store to get some salt, pepper, Chile and Korea-nder, because I was in the mood for some Sweden sour.
I found Iraq of pork chops but there w...

[Discussion] Regional targets

I am wondering who are the preferred targets of jokes from where you are from, I have done a little research and have come up with the following so far:

| Region | Target |
|:--|:--|
| Canada | Newfies |
| England | Irishmen |
| America | Polacks |
| France | Belgians |
| Br...

TIL Ethiopian warriors conquered part of Central Europe in the 1300s

That's why they call it Hungary.

Map jokes

How do you get around in Italy? You Rome.
Why does everyone love Thailand? They Bangkok.
I Congo to Africa, Kenya?
Why do the French take there time? They hate to Russia
What's the unhappiest state? Misery
Who are the unhappiest Europeans? The Hungary ones.
Why are the so many Subw...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.