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Clock On Jokes

My dad spent all day putting a clock on his belt

It was a waist of time

They're going to put a clock on the leaning tower of Pisa...

That way, it'll have both the time and the inclination.

(Grandma told me this one) why did the teach put a clock on the floor of her desk?

Because she wanted to work overtime

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A businessman has designed a clock which moves one minute forward whenever it hears someone swear. To test it, he decided to set it up in three bars different bars.

First he went to a Japanese bar and anonymously set up the clock on one of the walls.

A day later, he returns to that bar to see that the clock is only one minute too early from the current time.

He repeats the process, but now in an American bar.

A day later he returns to see t...

A German man is sitting in a waiting room.

The clock on the wall is going Tick,.....Tick,.....,Tick,.....,
Suddenly he jumps up, rips the face off the clock, bends it's hands behind it's back and says...
"Ve have vays of making you Tock!"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A traveler walks into a bar in a foreign land...

He started up a conversation with a bar owner, Greg for confidence. Eventually they were talking about his business.

Greg: you see this bar? It took years to build this bar, to find every perfect piece of brick, to hone it into a perfect bar. But do they call me Greg the bar builder? No.
...

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