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Breaking And Entering Jokes

What is the legal loop hole in breaking and entering laws?

The Santa Clause

There's an exception in the breaking and entering laws for people coming in through the chimney

It's called the Santa clause

I got arrested for breaking and entering a car dealership ..

In my defence, the salesperson told me I could sleep on it.

Rockstar Just Annouced A GTA Spinoff About Breaking And Entering

Its called GTFO

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

After taking a long needed break, Goldilocks decided it was time for some more breaking and entering.

She found an unlocked, unoccupied house and let herself in.

She first found an iPhone 4. "This phone is too small," she said. Then she found an iPhone 6 plus, but that phone was too big. Then she found an iPhone 6, and Goldilocks said, "doesn't anyone here own a fucking Android?"

T...

An old lady calls 911 late one night...

So an old lady calls 911 late one night. The dispatcher answers "911, what is your emergency?"

"There appear to be two men rummaging through my shed."

"A breaking and entering? We'll have an officer over in an hour."

"An hour? But they won't be here in an hour. They're breaking ...

A young boy asked his dad “why does Santa only visit once a year?”

The dad replied “because he’s in jail the rest of the year for breaking and entering”.

NSFW: Drunk driving Jethro hits two black pedestrians. Jethro asks Buford the Sheriff why he's cuffing the two dying black men...

... Buford says, "I'm arresting this one in your windshield for breaking and entering, and the other one laying in the corn field for leaving the scene of an accident"

"♪ ♫ He sees you when you're sleeping He knows when you're awake... ♪, ♫"

Which is why Santa Clause was arrested and convicted for aggravated stalking and unlawful breaking and entering by a jury of his peers in a court of law.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man was arrested for having sex with a virgin

He was charged with breaking and entering.

A drunk white guy swerves and hits 2 black teens walking down the sidewalk

One went through the windshield, the other was flung 50 yards away.

When the police show up, they charge the first kid with breaking and entering and the other with fleeing the scene of a crime.

Two black guys were walking down the road in Los Angeles....

When they were hit by a police car driven by a drunk cop. One guy was thrown through the windscreen and his buddy was sent hurling down an embankment. The first guy was charged with breaking and entering, and the second was charged with leaving the scene of an accident.

(I'm not racist but I ...

A joke my dad has been telling for 45 years

My dad played high school baseball, and the second baseman, John, eventually grew up to be a very successful accountant and married his high school sweetheart. Over the next 25 years, John also collected rare and antique baseball cards, eventually accumulating the world's most expensive collection…<...

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