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Bakers Jokes

A young baker buys a shop

He is very excited as this is his first venture since qualifying. He sells ok on everyday items like bread, but runs into trouble with his 'special items'. One day he makes beautiful cakes, however his customers only want pastries that day. So the next day he makes pastries, but now they want muffin...

I bought a chessboard cake from the bakers last week.

Took one bite, looked up, and said "it's stale mate".

He seemed surprised, said "no, mate".

So I handed him the cake and said "check mate".

Why are French bakers so masochistic?

They just knead to feel some pain.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why bakers are good at sex?

They always pull out on time

83% of bakers nowadays are female.

It looks like they’ve finally overthrown the pastryarchy

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Student 1: My name is Tom Archer because my ancestors were making bows and arrows.

Student 2: My name is Sam Baker because my forefathers were bakers.

Student 3: My name is John Dickinson, and I hate this game.

Two bakers were trying to have a talk about leavened Indian breads...

The topic was a naan-starter.

How do German bakers greet people

Gluten tag

Why are bakers great at baseball?

They make the best batters

What do you call a fistfight at an international gathering of bakers?

A contention convection confection convention

French pastry bakers are scary.

They give me the crepes.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The best bakers use real butter so . . . .

. . .
there is no margarine for error.

Why do Bakers need a separate toilet?

For when they knead a poo

You should tip bakers often.

They really knead it.

Why do bakers always go to heaven?

Because the cake is the best way to get karma.

Why do all bakers marry their sisters?

Because they are in bread.

What did Jesus say to the crowd of bakers?

Let he who is without sin cast the first scone.

A man walks into the bakers...

A man walks into the bakers with a salmon under his arm. He asks the woman behind the counter "Excuse me, do you serve fish cakes?"

The woman replies, "Of course we don't!"

The man points to the fish and shouts - "Well what am I supposed to do?! Its his birthday!"

Which martial art is the bakers favorite?

Tae Kwon Dough

When do bakers stop making donuts?

When they get tired of the hole thing

Bakers trade bread recipes...

on a knead-to-know basis.

Where do bakers pick up their hookers?

The breadlight district

Where do the best bakers in the city live?

The yeast end.

Why do bakers start working so early in the morning?

Because they knead dough.

Why do rednecks make the best bakers?

Cuz they’re inbred.

Are your parents bakers?

Cause youre inbread.

Do bakers get depressed...?

Or do they just experience extreme self-loaving?

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