My grandad lost his job after the war as a coleman's mustard powder salesman.
His boss told him to mix it with other cheaper powders like flour and chalk but grandad was an honest man, and would only ever sell genuine 100% pure stuff.
His boss fired him as he plainly didn't cut the mustard
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Two Irishmen met in a pub...
Two Irishmen meet in a pub, and in a slur one says to the other, "I'm thinking I ought to know ye."
The other replied, "You've got a familiar face, where ye be from?"
"I be from County Cork."
"Well I'll be dipped! I be from County Cork too, from Middleton!"
A skydiver's parachute failed to open.
So he immediately pulled the ripcord of his reserve chute, and that failed to open as well.
As he was falling to the earth, he came across a guy that was flying up from the ground. So the skydiver that was going down yelled to the guy that was going up, "Hey, do you know anything about parac...