How do you say ‘direction’ in pig Latin?

Hope you had a good one!

What's the similarity between a latin speaker and a necrophiliac?

They both appreciate a dead tongue.

I hate the misuse of Latin phrases...

...and vice versa.

Can somebody help me translate 'orbis terrarum ad mihi' from Latin?

It would mean the world to me.

My friend said he was into Latin

I said me too. Guess we have a Latin common.

Hey, Latin isn't dead

It's just Roman around

What do you call a Latin popstar with big nipples?

Areola Grande

What’s Latin for abortion?

Fetus Deletus

The professor gave me a C on my Latin exam...

Aced it!

For all those people that didn’t know that some Latin American countries don’t primarily speak Spanish...

You better Belize it.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

What did the Latin guy say after he had sex?

Veni. Veni. Veni.

If you play a Coldplay song backwards, you'll hear a lot of creepy, Satanic chanting in Latin

But if you play a Coldplay song the normal way, you'll hear something much worse. A Coldplay song.

Donald Trump...

-A big earthquake with the strength of 8.1 on the Richter scale hits the Middle East.

-Two million Muslims die and over a million are injured.

-Iraq, Iran and Syria are totally ruined and the governments don't know where to start with providing help to rebuild.

-The rest of the ...

50% of being a lawyer is the ability to use latin phrases that people don't understand

the other 50% is *ad hoc ergo propter hoc*

A Roman walks into a bar... (Latin joke)

A Roman walks into a bar and says "I'll have one martinus please." The bartender a little puzzled replies, "don't you mean one martini?" The Roman scoffs and says "oh please, if I wanted two I would have asked."

How many Latin Americans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A Brazilian.

UK: We call it "Autumn", from the French word "Automne", and later, from the Latin "autumnus".

USA: WE CALL IT FALL BECAUSE LEAVES FALL DOWN

My Latin/Greek teacher always gets the English and Greek 'U' mixed up

oopsilon

If you are at a restaurant and see the Pig Latin Admiral Ackbar special, beware..

It's an app tray.

ḱley (Proto-Indo-European)-> κλίμα, κλίνω (Greek)-> clima (Latin)-> climat (French)-> climate

Climate change is man-made.

TIL Chicago is the #1 supporter of Latin women.

They always yell: Go Chica! Go!

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A British Jew is waiting to be knighted.

He is to kneel before the Queen and recite a sentence in Latin as she taps him on the shoulders with her sword. However, in the excitement of the moment, he panics and forgets the Latin phrase. Thinking fast, he recites the only other foreign phrase that comes to mind, which comes from the Passover ...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Homosexuality should not be accepted in a civilized society.

It is an abomination. "sexuality" has a Latin root and "homo" is Greek. Really the word should be ideosexuality!

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Two university professors were arguing...

...over who was the better teacher. The first professor boasts that he could teach anybody any subject in a matter of days, so the second professor makes a proposal. He tells the first professor that if he really can teach anyone, then he should have no problem going downtown, finding a prostitute, ...

An etymologist, an entomologist, and an etiologist walk into a bar.

"What'll it be?" The bartender asks.

"I'll have a beer," the etymologist says. "A word which comes from Latin *bibere*, meaning "to drink".

"I'll have a Campari," the entomologist says. "It was originally dyed with crushed beetles!"

The bartender gets them their drinks. "And for...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

The end is nye

Fun fact; you know the saying The end is nigh? Well the latin origin of the word nigh use to be spelt: n y e.

Another fun fact; nye can be an abbreviation of New Year Eve.

Anyways what's your guys' new year's resolution? Mine is to stop making shit up for small talk.

A professor teaches his students about Chinese history

Professor: Allright class, let me start off today with a fun fact. During early industrial times, a lot of British engineers went to China to start up new businesses there, because of their low taxation rates. Because of this huge increase in migration, the Chinese government invested in the proper ...

I came, I saw, I died

or as we say in Latin:

Veni, Vidi, Avicii.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A rabbi and the Pope have a religious debate

Several of the Pope's officials are concerend about the growing Jewish population in Rome, so the encourage the Holy Father to set up a religious debate with the head Rabbi. If the Rabbi loses, he must leave Rome. If he wins, they can stay.

However, the Rabbi doesn't speak Italian or Latin an...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A blonde participates in the television show Who wants to be a millionaire...

The TV host asks her the following questions:

1st
How long did the 100-year war last?

a) 116 years
b) 99 years
c) 100 years
d) 150 years

The blonde chooses to use the opportunity not to respond.

2nd
In which country did you find the Panama Cabin?

a) ...

The nature of Reddit ingrained throughout history

The Latin word Reddo means to return.
This means that Reddit means "it returns"
and Redditor means "one who returns".
This makes a lot of sense, because when you see a post on Reddit, it returns, it returns, it returns.

What Language Do Trees Speak?

Latin, because of all their roots.

What's the difference between a Yankee zoo and a Southern zoo?

The Yankee zoo will have the name of the animal and its Latin name. The Southern zoo will have the name of the animal and a recipe.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

New US dollar announced today...

They've decided to change the motto. After much pressure from atheist groups, they're removing 'In God We Trust' and going back to Latin. However, 'E Pluribus Unum' sounds too foreign and reeks of socialism, so they're going with a more simple and straightforward 'Carpe Vulva'.

The runner up ...

[NSFW] What do the Zika Virus and Catholic Priests have in common?

They're both giving kids a little head all over Latin America.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Marcus and Yacov, two Hasidic Jews,

went to Pincus the tailor for new suits.

"Pincus," Yacov said, "the last time we came to you for new suits, we told you we wanted black suits. The suits you made were not black. They were sort of dark grey maybe, but not black, We need new suits, and this time we want black suits, from the da...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

vsauce in a relationship joke.

"michael, im breaking up with you"

michael: "this woman is a bitch, which comes from the latin word 'bitchus', which means a whore. now, she wants to break up with me because i cheated on her sister.
but what exactly is 'cheating'? Well, cheating occurs when someone stick their dicks in ...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Desert Deployment Story [OC] [Long]

When I was deployed to middle east there were these Asian or Arabic guys who made food and cleaned out the port-a-johns and things like that. (I can’t tell what ethnicity they were because I’m from the Midwest and I don’t meet anyone who isn’t white or Latin-American or Vietnamese.)

Anyway o...

What’s a Roman law enforcement officers favorite language?

Pig Latin

A blond is asked the definition of Politics.

She says "Simple! It comes from two words. The first, poly- which is Latin for many. And ticks, which are blood sucking bugs."

credit - Taylor Mason

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

While explaining sexual orientations to a classmate...

My classmate asks "wait, what's polyamory?"

-

I begin to explain that it's when one person can be involved in many different intimate relationships with the knowledge and consent from all of the parties involved.

When my professor overhears from the front of the class....and eru...

What's the dirtiest language?

Latin, its absolutely filled with *cum*.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

My Rooster Ramón

I used to have a Mexican rooster named Ramón. He liked to have sex with anything that moved. I kept telling him that all this boning was going to kill him one day. Ramón just laughed about it and kept giving the animals the chorizo. Yesterday, I walked outside and saw Ramón lying flat on his back wi...

German language is easy.

The German language is relatively easy. Those who can speak Latin and are used to declinations, normally learn it very rapidly. At least that is what German teachers say in their first class. They start learning: der, die, das, des, dem, den and the rest just comes naturally. It’s amazingly easy! If...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A pope in the middle ages is trying to kick the Jews out of Rome...

And the Jewish population is able to convince him to hear out their side first before making them leave. The pope agrees, but the only Jewish man who thinks himself to be a good enough debater is the rabbi, Moishe. But since Moishe only speaks Hebrew and the Pope only Latin and Italian, they agree t...

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Pope and a Jew

Several centuries ago, the Pope decided in all his wisdom that all the Jews had to leave the Vatican.

Naturally there was a big uproar from the Jewish community.

So the Pope cut a deal a juicy deal.

He would have a religious debate with any chosen member of the Jewish communit...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A Trip to the Psychic of Piccadilly Lane

A man driving his morning route spots an old corrugated plastic sign planted in the brown, yet overgrown yard of a decrepit house. The once-colorful sign reads "Psychic readings performed; $20.00 per palm reading, first question answered FREE." The man, intrigued, decides that he could skip his usua...

Mitt Romney and the King of Saudi-Arabia are having a dinner party...

...the mood of the night is very good and after they spent a while talking about what new amazing things they have bought for themselves and the amount of money they managed to acquire in the past year, as well as all sorts of political matters they come to some lighter topics.
So the King says t...

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sexual misconceptions

so a guy gets on a plane and takes his seat when all of a sudden he sees the most beautiful woman he's ever laid eyes upon come aboard. She walks down the aisle and gets closer and closer and to his luck she takes the seat right next to him. Trying to make small talk he leans over and asks the god...

Why did the pervert buy 16.5 pints of salsa?

[2 gals 1 cup](http://www.reddit.com/r/Canning/comments/yyhsp/my_20_trip_to_the_local_latin_market_netted_165/)