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Worlds Jokes

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George claims that his dick is the "Hardest Dick In The World!"

George will pay anyone $5000 cash to anyone who can bring him something absolutely harder than his dick.


One man brings a basketball-sized boulder. George easily smashes the boulder with his dick. The man picks up the boulder pieces and angrily walks off.


A second man brings a ...

Brian, the world's leading expert on European wasps and the sounds that they make, is taking a stroll down his local high street. As he passes by the record shop, a sign catches his eye. "Just Released - New LP - Wasps of the World & the sounds that they make - available now"

Unable to resist the temptation, Brian goes into the shop. "I am the world's leading expert on European wasps and the sounds that they make. I'd very much like to listen to the new LP you have advertised in the window."

"Certainly, Sir," says the young man behind the counter. "If you'd like t...

I had a party for the worlds greatest historical figures, here are their RSVPs

Isaac Newton: "I'll drop in."

Socrates: "I'll think about it."

Charles Darwin: "I'll wait to see what evolves."

Marie Curie: "I am radiating enthusiasm."

Ivan Pavlov: "I'm positively drooling at the thought."

Albert Einstein: "It will ...

What's the worlds manliest job?

A male man

An optimist believes this is the best of all possible worlds.

A pessimist is afraid he's right.

What are the worlds smallest handcuffs?

wedding rings

Best Of Both Worlds

Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.

What do you call the worlds most famous oil painting?

The Gulf Of Mexico.

I bought the worlds worst thesaurus yesterday

Not only is it terrible, it’s terrible

I was on the verge of winning the "Worlds Most Congested Nose " competition....

And then I blew it.

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