Trumps wall is fool-proof...

Take china for example, they've had a wall for 2000 years and still no mexicans.

My 7 year old nephew showed me with pride the "telephone" he had just made from a string and two tin cans...

I pulled out my iPhone and said, "That's nice, but look at what kids your age make in China!"

I have a friend, Celine, from China. She is beautiful but so fragile.

Poor Celine.

A murder-for-hire occurred in a rice field using small china ornaments as the weapon

It was a knick-knack paddy whack

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

NSFW while in china an American is sexually promiscuous and doesn't use a condom the entire time he is there.

A week after arriving back home in the states, he wakes one morning to find his penis covered with bright green and purple spots. Horrified, he immediately goes to see a doctor. The doctor, never having seen anything like this before, orders some tests and tells the man to return in two days.

In America, dogs are K9.

In China, dogs are E10.

you know happened after I nuked china?

I Burned myself on the plate.

Doctors in china don't ask if you want an abortion

They just ask if you want takeout or delivery

I wouldn't date anyone from China

That's a HUGE red flag

What is the most common illness in China?

Kung Flu.

There are only two phone numbers in China the wings and the wongs

So you might wing the wong number

I hated my trip to China

Left my review on their flag.

What is Apple's greatest fear about China?

That they stop their sensor ships.

If King Kong ever went to China, he'd be called

Ching Chong

What do they call a cup of coffee in China?

A cup of Zhou


This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

We all know that if you assume in the USA it makes and ass out of u and me. But what does assuming do in China?

Makes an ass out of u and Ming

Why does Donald Trump hate China?

Because it has a bigger wall

A worldwide survey was conducted by the UN...

The only question asked was: "Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?"

The survey was a huge failure...

In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant.

In Eastern Europe they didn't know what "honest" meant.

Three brothers moved to America from China.

The brothers names were Chu, Bu, and Fu. These brothers decided they wanted more American sounding names so they went to City Hall to change them.

Chu decided to go by Chuck, Bu decided to go by Buck, and Fu went back to China.

Why are there no casinos in China?

Because the Chinese hate Tibet.

Ancient China should be credited for inventing toilet paper.

The inventor was Wai Ping.

The Communist Party changed things so that China uses single time zone.

It's always Party time.

What is the difference between kids in China and putting down a dog?

Nothing, they are both Euthanasia

I called a Chinese friend of mine to ask how he was doing while he was visiting his family back in China.

He said he couldn’t complain.

Say what you want about Trump’s wall

But China has had a great wall for thousands of years and you still don’t see any Mexicans

Edit: Apparently this joke *whooshed* over a lot of people

Edit 2: ITT People who don’t realize it’s a joke about a wall and not the demographics of China

USA, Russia and China gather together at a weapons convent

The spokesman of the USA says: „Our submarines are great! They can get along 4 months without refueling!“

Russia counters: „Our submarines can even swim 6 months without refueling!“

China smiles and says: „what, only 6? Ours can go 8 months without refueling!“

Suddenly, a submar...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

What do ghosts, China, pansexuals and unicorns have in common?

They’re all not real

When a china man haves to pay what him name is ?

Ka Ching

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A Kung Fu student in ancient China goes to meet his wise old master...

A Kung Fu student in ancient China goes to meet his wise old master. He says:

"Master, I keep trying but I cannot do the Kick of a Thousand Exploding Suns. Help me Master!"

His master gives him an anecdote.

"Have you seen the waves of the ocean crashing into the white cliffs whi...

What's worse than an elephant in the china shop?

A hedgehog in the condom factory.

Where would you take your partner if you went to China?


The heads of state of the US and China sit down to a meeting.

Donald Trump says to Xi Jinping, "I'm gonna build a wall, it's going to be the best wall, Jinping, you've got a wall, I'm going to build it better than yours."

Xi replies, "It took thousands of Chinese workers a very long time to build the Great Wall. Are you sure your country is ready for th...

Everything comes from China these days, except for babies...

They come from the vaChina

Why don't you ever see Golf clubs that are "Made in China?"

Because you can't trust Asian Drivers.

I still don't know why people think Donald Trump's wall would never work.

China did it, and they barely have any Mexicans

What do you call 69 in china?

Two Can Chew.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

In the USA a dogs go "woof woof", in Japan dogs go "wan wan", and in China dogs go

"Sizzle sizzle"

Donald Trump dies and goes to hell

In 50 years, he comes to the devil and says: "I know I'm going to spend an eternity here. I would like to ask you for a favor. I miss my country, I miss the United States. Can I go back to Washington DC for 15 minutes? I will go to the nearest bar, drink some beer and have a little chat with the bar...

So I adopted a 5 year old child from China

And she said to me: "Why is the sky blue?"

A man off the boat from China is looking for a job.

A local business man decides to hire him.

He tells the immigrant,

“I will have help out my store with supplies.”

In which he responds in broken English,

“Thank you mista thank you!”

After he shows him around the store, the business goes out for the rest of the day...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Viagra was banned in China by the government.

They don’t want to admit they have election ploblems.

(Bad but OC)

A man phones his wife and asks her: “Honey I’ve been asked to go fishing in China with my boss for a week ...

A man phones his wife and asks her: “Honey I’ve been asked to go fishing in China with my boss for a week. This is a good opportunity for me to get the promotion. So could you please pack enough clothes for a week, set out my rod & fishing box. We’re leaving from office & I’ll swing by the h...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

China has largest population not because the men are extra horny nor the women are extra fertile.

But their condoms are "Made in China"

Break ups are the worst in China

You see her face everywhere

When the kids said they were going to dig a hole to China . . .

I warned them that it would be boring.

Joke about China


How do you destroy the great China wall?

You put some paper on it

What does a bull say leaving a china shop?


What did Kim Jong Un say after a nuclear war with China?

"when I said nuke the Chinese, I was talking about the left overs!"

Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House in Washington D.C. One from Bangladesh , another from India and the third, from China.

The Bangladesh contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some figures with a pencil. "Well", he says, "I figure the job will run about $900. ($400 for materials, $400 for my team and $100 profit for me)".

The Chinese contractor also does some measuring and figur...

I met an Asian girl today with the last name of "China."

It was her made-in name.

What Is The Hardest Job In The World?

Sketching For Police Officers In China

My wife recommended I do some light reading to relax at the end of the day

Not really relaxing, as my eyes are in pain, but I managed to make out, "60 Watts - Made in China."

What’s Trump’s code name when he visits China?

Orange Chicken

My grandma is kind of like the Chinese government.

Visitors only see the nice china.

Why do children in China all have iPhones and wear Nike?

Employee discounts

Please post any animal jokes here. I am collecting outstanding animal jokes, or puns. Thank you.

Start it off with a classic.

A panda walks into a bar. He orders a sandwich, eats it, then draws a gun and fires two shots in the air.

"Why? Why are you behaving in this strange, un-panda-like fashion?" asks the confused waiter, as the panda walks towards the exit. The panda produce...

What does Trump think about trading with China?

It's tariffic.

The President of the United States and the Prime minister of China are comparing their bodyguards.

The president orders his secret service agent to jump off a 40 foot platform. The agent heisitates and does so.

The prime minister immediately orders his bodyguard to do the same. The guard jumps without batting an eye.

The president, feeling a little defeated, orders his bodyguard to...

After I cancelled our trip to China, I told my wife I had a surprise for her...

Close you eyes... no Peking!

I took my sick dog to the vet, and they told me that the best option was for my dog to go live with some children in China.

Although, I'm surprised that he referred to them as the "youth in Asia".

A Chinese family of 5 decided to immigrate to the United States

Chu, Bu, Hu, Su and Fu were told that in order to get a visa, they would have to Americanize their names.

Chu became Chuck.

Bu became Buck.

Hu became Huck.

Su and Fu decided to stay in China.