How do I know China has Free Speech?

No one says otherwise.

My 7 year old nephew showed me with pride the "telephone" he had just made from a string and two tin cans...

I pulled out my iPhone and said, "That's nice, but look at what kids your age make in China!"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

"Hey! I heard China just legalized same-sex marriage!", says a white man to a Chinese national.

"No we didn't.", replies the Chinese national.

"But Taiwan just legalized same-sex marriage!"

"No… Taiwan is not… uh… Yes, China is … uh…"

Trump says to Pence, "China's mining too many ores"

Pence: What are you going to do?
Trump: Order more tariffs to make them mine less.
Pence: Mine fewer.
Trump: Shhh, don't call me that yet.

In America, dogs are K9.

In China, dogs are E10.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

While in China, an American man is sexually promiscuous and does not use a condom the entire time he is there.

A week after arriving back home in the States, he wakes one morning to find his penis covered with bright green and purple spots. Horrified, he immediately goes to see a doctor.

The doctor, never having seen anything like this before, orders some tests and tells the man to return in two days ...

What would China respond with regards the recent Hong Kong protests?

Tank you!

Well...you know what they say...What happen's in China stays...

with the Chinese government

Please send help. I barely hacked onto the internet from China. My country is censoring and controlling us.

Edit: Just kidding. China is a wonderful place. They treat us well and care very much about our human rights. Thank you.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

In China, archaeologists recently discovered the oldest known statue of a penis...

...carbon dating estimates it came from the Dong Dynasty.

The trade war between the U.S. and China is really devolving

Into a case of he said, Xi said.

Trumps wall is fool-proof...

Take china for example, they've had a wall for 2000 years and still no mexicans.

A worldwide survey was conducted by the UN...

The only question asked was: "Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?"

The survey was a huge failure...

In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant.

In Eastern Europe they didn't know what "honest" meant.
<...

If Mexico is paying for the wall and China paying for the tariffs

Can somebody pay for my bills?

China has been the most important country for American schools.

Because they invented both paper and gunpowder.

Why did China get invaded?

They weren't ready to face the Khansequences.

What do you name a dead end road in China?

Wong way.

My first wife was from China, but my friends never liked her

They said I married the Wong woman

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I bought cheap Viagra from China.

It didn't last very long.

Do you know why China is such a great and loving country?

Because they have a very friendly and open minded government. All voices are heard and everyone is welcome , we are treated very well and our country is in a stable position. (Post this to a website to increase your social score and to increase international investment , remove this last part)

I have a friend, Celine, from China. She is beautiful but so fragile.

Poor Celine.

There’s a reason why China has so many fake items

And the reason is because the Chinese have mistaken ‘Copyright’ for ‘Copy Is Right’

Who are the loudest people in china?

The Shao Ding people

I heard China recently banned plastic waste

They better not let Kim Kardashian in this week.

I heard China's president, Xi Jinping, is having a little red book made of his quotes like Mao Zedong had.

I hope it will be called "That's What Xi Said"

What do you call children in China?

Euthanasia

What is the most common illness in China?

Kung Flu.

In their 5th marriage anniversary the guy took his wife to china

when he came back his friend asked him "what did you do for the anniversary?"

"I took her to china", the man said.

his friend: "wow, that was only for your 5th anniversary, I wonder what you gonna do for your 50th one?"

he replied: "I'm gonna go get her back".

What did Trump say to China during the Trade War Negotiations?

It's my way, my way or the Huawei.

For our 25th anniversary, I took my wife to China

For our 50th I plan on picking her up

A joke I heard in China that may or may not be known to the outside world

Tom visits Bob’s house and notices that Bob doesn’t have a clock. Surprised, he asks Bob how he tells time. “I have a piano,” Bob explained, “you want a demonstration?”

That night, Bob started playing All Star on his piano. A neighbor knocks on his door and yells, “WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING...

What is China's national sport?

Homework

A murder-for-hire occurred in a rice field using small china ornaments as the weapon

It was a knick-knack paddy whack

you know happened after I nuked china?

I Burned myself on the plate.

There are only two phone numbers in China the wings and the wongs

So you might wing the wong number

I wouldn't date anyone from China

That's a HUGE red flag

In his CV, a Job applicant mentioned country of origin as China

That's a red flag.

Chinese people all have the same answer when I ask what red flags to look out for when I go to China.

They all say the national flag

There once was a lady from China, who had a great big....

...cargo liner.
Shipping drinks of crushed fruit
90 sailors to boot
She had a boat load of sea-men 'n cider

Say what you want about Trump’s wall

But China has had a great wall for thousands of years and you still don’t see any Mexicans

Edit: Apparently this joke *whooshed* over a lot of people

Edit 2: ITT People who don’t realize it’s a joke about a wall and not the demographics of China

I recently hired two interns from China to help with my business

Hua Ta Yu and Biyuchica Mi. Because it was easier, they both asked me to call them by their last names.

I needed to sign up for a new online service and asked Yu to do so. I gave her my credit card and off she went. After an hour I went to see if she had completed the task and she was gone! W...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A joke my dad sent me today but I translated it to English

Jack was bored out of his mind in the classroom on a friday afternoon, as were many of his friends. The teacher noticed this and came up with a small challenge to get their attention back to her.

"Alright, class. I tell you a famous saying and the first one to tell me who said it doesn't hav...

Why are there no casinos in China?

Because the Chinese hate Tibet.

Doctors in china don't ask if you want an abortion

They just ask if you want takeout or delivery

China: "We give up, Donald. What'll it take to end the Trade War?

Trump: "You'll have to move all of your factories to the US."

China: "We can't do that."

Trump: "That's too bad, because it's my way or the Huawei."

Why does China have such a big population of 1bn people?

Because their condoms are "Made in China"

China's so good at censorship

They gave themselves 5 stars.

I called a Chinese friend of mine to ask how he was doing while he was visiting his family back in China.

He said he couldn’t complain.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

We all know that if you assume in the USA it makes and ass out of u and me. But what does assuming do in China?

Makes an ass out of u and Ming

Three brothers moved to America from China.

The brothers names were Chu, Bu, and Fu. These brothers decided they wanted more American sounding names so they went to City Hall to change them.

Chu decided to go by Chuck, Bu decided to go by Buck, and Fu went back to China.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Kung Fu student in ancient China goes to meet his wise old master...

A Kung Fu student in ancient China goes to meet his wise old master. He says:

"Master, I keep trying but I cannot do the Kick of a Thousand Exploding Suns. Help me Master!"

His master gives him an anecdote.

"Have you seen the waves of the ocean crashing into the white cliffs whi...

Why do people in China buy so much chips?

It's the cheapest way to get good clean air.

If King Kong ever went to China, he'd be called

Ching Chong

What is Apple's greatest fear about China?

That they stop their sensor ships.

What do they call a cup of coffee in China?

A cup of Zhou

My boss fired me for making too many Asian jokes.

It was the end of my Korea.

I'm still China find another job.

Everything comes from China these days, except for babies...

They come from the vaChina

Isis sent 8 terrorists to China

A few years ago, ISIS did train eight people for many months before sending them on terrorist missions to China.

The first guy’s target was Beijing’s most complex interchange. He passed out due to motion sickness.

The second guy wanted to blow up a public bus in Shanghai during rush ho...

What's worse than an elephant in the china shop?

A hedgehog in the condom factory.

What is the difference between kids in China and putting down a dog?

Nothing, they are both Euthanasia

When a china man haves to pay what him name is ?

Ka Ching

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

China has largest population not because the men are extra horny nor the women are extra fertile.

But their condoms are "Made in China"

Ancient China should be credited for inventing toilet paper.

The inventor was Wai Ping.

Where would you take your partner if you went to China?

Baejing.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do ghosts, China, pansexuals and unicorns have in common?

They’re all not real

A man phones his wife and asks her: “Honey I’ve been asked to go fishing in China with my boss for a week ...

A man phones his wife and asks her: “Honey I’ve been asked to go fishing in China with my boss for a week. This is a good opportunity for me to get the promotion. So could you please pack enough clothes for a week, set out my rod & fishing box. We’re leaving from office & I’ll swing by the h...

The Communist Party changed things so that China uses single time zone.

It's always Party time.

I still don't know why people think Donald Trump's wall would never work.

China did it, and they barely have any Mexicans

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Viagra was banned in China by the government.

They don’t want to admit they have election ploblems.

(Bad but OC)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Chinese man moves to USA after having lived 50 years in a small Chinese province

He bought a home on a small piece of land.

The friendly American neighbor decides to go across and welcome the new guy.

He goes next door
but on his way up the drive-way he sees the Chinese man running around his front yard chasing about 10 hens.

Not wanting to interrupt thes...

Why don't you ever see Golf clubs that are "Made in China?"

Because you can't trust Asian Drivers.

Why was the UN concerned when the waiter dropped Thanksgiving dinner?

Because it meant the fall of turkey, the ruin of grease, and the breakup of china.

I went to China

It was excellent. I left a review on their flag.

What sound do chickens make in China?

Woof

So I adopted a 5 year old child from China

And she said to me: "Why is the sky blue?"

The heads of state of the US and China sit down to a meeting.

Donald Trump says to Xi Jinping, "I'm gonna build a wall, it's going to be the best wall, Jinping, you've got a wall, I'm going to build it better than yours."

Xi replies, "It took thousands of Chinese workers a very long time to build the Great Wall. Are you sure your country is ready for th...

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