This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

"Hey! I heard China just legalized same-sex marriage!", says a white man to a Chinese national.

"No we didn't.", replies the Chinese national.

"But Taiwan just legalized same-sex marriage!"

"No… Taiwan is not… uh… Yes, China is … uh…"

Why is suicide illegal in China?

Destruction of government property

Thailand was having troubles trading with China.

China refused to accept Thailand's official currency, (the Baht) but the Thais noticed that China had no problem trading in South Korean Won.

So they made a plan to buy 3.2 trillion Won from Korea and use it as an official currency for international trade exchanges.

Unfortunately, it t...

I don’t know why people hate China. I love it and can’t say I have a whole lot wrong with it.

It just sucks they’ve been stuck on that island for so long.

Three men were buried under a landslide in China

Three men were buried under a landslide in China.

They're inside a car when it happened, and miraculously still have cell phone connection.

The first man made a phone call to the police:

"I'm a good citizen and husband, please come save us!"

The police tell him they will ...

China is already welcoming Biden

China is already welcoming Biden.

They have even named a central landmark in Beijing for Biden.

"FOR BIDEN CITY!"

At a Diplomats' dinner, a waiter tripped and shattered the beautiful plate in which he was carrying a large turkey.

Hushed silence turned into a roar of  laughter, when the quick-witted Diplomat  announced:


"Gentlemen ! 

You have just witnessed 4 major international events happening :-


Fall of Turkey

Breakup of China

Spillage of Greece 

 and

Frustration of ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

China started anal swabbing covid-19 patients for rapid results...

Step 1: Insert swab into butthole.

Step 2: Remove, and insert swab into nose.

Step 3: If you smelled it, congrats, you are COVID negative.


Results: Instantaneous.

I guess China finally got what they want

They managed to coronise the world.

The protests in Hong Kong have been continuous for 160 days, proving the country does not belong to China.

Because nothing made in China has ever lasted more than a week.

Mr. Chu, Du, and Fu were three friends from China that wanted to come to the US.

In order to get a visa, they were told they needed a more “American” name.

So, Chu became Chuck,

Du became Duck,

And Fu,

... well, Fu remained in China.

A joke I heard while working in China a few years ago

A Chinese state-owned container ship is highjacked by pirates. A Chinese Communist Party official is sent to negotiate.

The pirates’ leader, waving his gun, shouted: “the ransom is TEN MILLION dollars! Or everyone on the ship will die!”

The official responded, calmly: “I will give you ...

Happy Chinese New Year! Or as they say in China:

Happy New Year!

Why do people in China smoke so much?

They need fresh air

What is China’s national sport?

Hard labour.

How do we know that the COVID virus wasn't made in China?

Because it has been 3 years and it's still working

Little Ken Fok grew up working hard in his father’s restaurant in China

Every day before school he would get up at 6am and help prepare the dishes for that days lunch before coming home from school at 4pm to help with the evening shift by preparing and serving customers. He would make Spicy crab cakes, shredded pork and tofu. He would work until midnight and then repeat...

Trains in China

Heard this joke in China but it probably applies in most major capital cities.

A guy from Beijing and a guy from Shanghai were talking about travelling on trains in their cities and how crowded the trains were.

The guy from Beijing says “In Beijing the trains are so crowded that the ot...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

China's economy is like America's pornography.

Cacheless.

China should never take part in the Cricket World Cup

They can screw over any country with just a bat

Ukrainian Peasant finds a Genie in a Bottle

A Ukrainian peasant finds a genie in a bottle. The genie offers him three wishes. He’s a stupid peasant but he knows what he likes.

The peasant says, “I want the Chinese to invade Ukraine from the east and then go back to China.”

So it happens and the Chinese army invaded Ukraine from ...

what do you call a knight made of fine china?

sir ramic

Say what you like about China...

[This post has been removed by the Communist Party of China (CPC) of the People's Republic of China at the discretion of General Xi Jinping]

Xi and the Chinese Farmer

Xi Jinping, the president of China, went to Guangxi and spoke with the governor about the fine and loyal people of China.

The governor: "Fine people sure. Loyal? I don't know."

Xi: "I will show you. Hey you! Come here! What do you do?" Farmer: "I'm a farmer."

Xi: Let me ask y...

So I got deported from China with a permanent travel ban for talking about my son

One day I decided to visit china. When I landed in the Chinese airport i found out that I received a text from my son Tyler saying that he won the town's annual drinking championship.

I decided to tell the wife about it and called her. It was very loud in the chinese airport and she couldn't...

I went on a trip to China and it wasn’t great. 2/5

But the flag was five stars

Peng Shuai was asked in the interview how is her life in China after this media debacle ?

She said "can't complain"

My partner is a diehard communist and loves China and Russia.

I saw red flags on day one but ignored them.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A woman has to decide between three bachelors

A woman in her early thirties is desperate to get married and goes on dates with three elegible bachelors: One from Italy, one from France, and one from China. They have all been equally amazing to the woman, who took years and years to make her decision because she just couldn’t pick.

One da...

Which dinosaur does the government of the People's Republic of China hate?

Taiwanasaurus

(popular indian Joke) Why doesnt china have a cricket team?

They eat bats and don't understand the concept of boundaries..

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

While in China, an American man is sexually promiscuous and does not use a condom the entire time he is there.

A week after arriving back home in the States, he wakes one morning to find his penis covered with bright green and purple spots. Horrified, he immediately goes to see a doctor.

The doctor, never having seen anything like this before, orders some tests and tells the man to return in two days ...

What do they call Jehova Whitness in China?

Ding Dong

Another joke I heard in China

The function of the United Nations:

If there's a conflict between a small (weak) nation and a small (weak) nation, there is peace.

If there's a conflict between a large (powerful) nation and a small (weak) nation, the small (weak) nation is gone.

If there's a conflict between a ...

A Chinese man came to India

He took a taxi at the airport.

On his way by seeing a bus he told the taxi driver that in India buses run very slow. In China buses run very fast.

After sometime, he came near a railway bridge and saw a train passing over the bridge. Then the Chinese guy told the driver that the trains...

What’s worse than a bull in a China shop?

A hedgehog in a condom factory

Whats the difference between going to war with China and eating at a Chinese restaurant?

Wanton destruction vs Wonton consumption

There is freedom of speech in china

but there is no freedom after speech.

Thatll do it.

A man bought what he thought was a porcelain tea pot at a trader's market,when he finally made it home he was polishing it before putting it in his China cabinet. Smoke began pouring out of it and low and behold a genie appeared. The genie told the man he had three wishes,the only thing is your ex w...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man yelled on the GreatWall of China, "Xi the pooh has a tiny penis"

He was caught by the police in a minute.

He was then notified that all of his family members are held up by the police. In the same evening, he was brought to the court.

The judge: You committed a very serious crime, you need not talk, you are now sentenced to death, so are you...

In Communist China you don't use iMessage

You use WeChat

My 7 year old nephew showed me with pride the "telephone" he had just made from a string and two tin cans. I pulled out my iPhone and said, "That's nice, but..."

"Look at what kids your age make in China!"

People of China, do you want to hear what happened on Tiananmen square in 1989?

No tanks.

All countries will get the corona virus eventually...

China just got it right off the bat...

How do they laugh in China?

L-MAO!

A worldwide survey was conducted by the UN

The only question asked was: "Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?"
The survey was a huge failure.
In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant.
In Eastern Europe they didn't know what "honest" meant.
In Western Europe t...

Which is the largest wall in the world?

The Great Firewall of China

Do you know what China is famous for?

\[REDACTED\]

A man who is riddled with guilt confesses in a sms message to his next-door neighbor.

A man who is riddled with guilt confesses in a sms message to his next-door neighbor.

Dear neighbor, I'm sorry. I've been riddled with guilt and I have to confess. I have been helping myself to your wife for some time now. It's been so good I have not been able to stop myself. Sometimes it's ...

In America, dogs are K9.

In China, dogs are E10

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So my brother had this beautiful motor cycle.

So my brother had this beautiful motorcycle. For years he had that thing, shined like a diamond. It was his baby. Well, he's getting older now, just got married, has a kid on the way, big new promotion in the city, new house, the works. It's about time to settle down for him so he decided to pass it...

People in China are all preparing to celebrate the 100th anniversary - and so should we!

Winnie the Pooh's birthday is August 21, 1921 which is only about a month off :)

Every thing is made in China apart from babies.

They are made in Vachina.

A memer, an antivegan activist, a teenager, a GTA Online player, a LoL player, an anti-China activist, and a Redditor walk into a bar.

The bartender says upon their entry, “Happy Cake Day, Elson!”

So, last semester I met this guy in my business class

He was cool & an international student. His name was Ving and was from China. His English was really good for a second language, better than I could ever be learning a second language. We’d often hang out and I show him the sites and tourist destinations in my city. He's much cooler as well as b...

What do cats in china say?

Mi Hao!

Trump says to Pence, "China's mining too many ores"

Pence: What are you going to do?
Trump: Order more tariffs to make them mine less.
Pence: Mine fewer.
Trump: Shhh, don't call me that yet.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The protests in Hong Kong have been continuous for 120 days, proving the country does not belong to China

Because nothing made in China has ever lasted more than a week.

What is common between Reddit and China?

They both don't like opinions.

Stevie Wonder went to play a concert in China, and he began by asking if the audience had any requests. They shouted: "Play a jazz chord! Play a jazz chord!"...

Stevie was a little puzzled, but he responded by playing an E minor scale, and then continued with a complex jazz melody that went on for over fifteen minutes.

He finished, but instead of applause, he heard the audience shout again: "No, no! Play a jazz chord! Play a jazz chord!"

A lit...

Kim Jong Un decided to send Donald Trump a letter

Kim Jong Un decided to send Donald Trump a letter in his own handwriting to let him know he was still alive. Trump opened the letter which appeared to contain a single- line coded message: 370HSSV – 0773H. Trump was baffled, so he scanned it and emailed it to his aides, who had no clue either, so th...

I wanted to run for president of China, but apparently I'm not allowed to.

At least, that's what Xi said...

Covid is like the iPhone

Made in China but popular in the USA

If someone on a first date tells me their hobbies include drawing the flag of China without the stars I think to myself...

that's a big red flag!

On their way to a summit, both Reagan and Gorbachev end up in car crashes, knocking them both into comas.

Ten years later, they wake up in adjacent rooms in the hospital, a screen separating the rooms but allowing them to see and hear each other. Both are curious about how the world changed in their absence, so Reagan asks for a copy of the New York Times, and Gorbachev asks for a copy of Pravda.
...

Two girls are applying for a job interview, one was super beautiful while the other with super ugly,

The boss looked at them and said " I don't care about your looks, my only criteria is if you are qualified for the job, the one who answer my question will be hired"

Then he asked the beautiful girl " what is China's population?" the girl answered " 1,400 billion"

The boss said " good...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How do they call elevator in China?

Well,on a button like everywhere else in the world

China may be catching up to the US economically...

...but they definitely won’t outweigh us.

This Easter, the catholic church is sourcing all of it's bread and wine from a factory in China.

It's called mass production.

I used to live in Turkey, China, and Morocco, but I left ...

there were too many red flags.

A joke my Polish friend loved.

[Full of errors I'm sure. On to the brilliant joke.]

A polish farmeris tilling his field. It's another beautiful spring day when suddenly his plough hits something. Upon inspection he sees that it's some sort of golden lamp. He dusts it off and a genie comes out of it and says to the humble p...

Do you know what Mao, the first leader of communist China, becomes when he laughs

LMAO

My friend Ty came first in the Beijing marathon 5 years ago, but still has not been awarded a gold medal.

China refuses to acknowledge Ty won.

A huge guy walks into a bar, approaches a little guy and karate chops him in the back. When the little guy gets up, the huge guy says, "That was a karate chop from Korea."

"A little later, the huge guy walks back over to the little guy and karate chops him in the back. The huge guy says, "That was a karate chop from China."

The little guy leaves the bar, comes back and hits the huge guy on the back. The huge guy lies unconscious on the floor. The little guy te...

Why was France not allowed to join AUKUS?

Because FAUKUS wouldn't sound right to scare China.

Genghis Khan stumbles across a great palace in Northern China

It was a magnificent golden palace, with beautiful ornaments covering every surface as it towered over the surrounding landscape with its size. The steps leading up to the front entrance were crafted from the finest marble, the pillars holding up the ceiling sculpted with the rarest jade. It was tru...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A long time ago in China, man decided to marry a concubine.

But he insisted the new woman be a virgin. Someone suggested that after he found a suitable woman, on their wedding night he should show her his penis. If she didn't know what it was, that would mean she was truly virginal.

So on the wedding night his pulled out his penis and showed it to t...

They’re running out of face masks in China

No big supplies there.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Family Planning

In 1983, China launched an extensive 12 month program that was carefully designed to teach the fundamentals of birth control to the rural populace. Doctors and nurses were televised demonstrating the use of condoms and birth control pills.
The people were encouraged to faithfully practice thes...

Why is the Great Wall of China considered one of the seven wonders of the world?

Because it is an actual long-lasting Chinese product.

Who is the president of china?

An entrepreneur was looking to do business overseas. He asked his assistant "Who is the president of China?"

His assistant replied, "No, Xi is the president of China."

"Who's she?"

No boss, "Hu is Hu, Xi is Xi"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I thought it was just the U.S's insatiable need for inexpensive, single-use, remote controlled electronic junk that my son always wants crappy toys made in China that break after 5 days

But it seems China feels the same way about their rockets.

what did the british guy say when he discovered that tea was first made in china?

real tea is often disappointing



repost because the first one had too many spelig misteks

Why does China have the most accurate step-counters?

They track your every move

In China, citizens *are* allowed to express their own free opinion

So long as the government agrees with it.

I'm glad China only spread a virus and not a bear.

Otherwise we'd have a pandademic.

Canadian query

Last month a world-wide survey was conducted by the UN.
The only question asked was:

"Could you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food
Shortage in the rest of the world?"

The survey was a massive failure because of the following:

1. In Eastern Europe ...

In china, they invented a machine that can capture thieves

They tested out the machine in china for a week and they caught 2 thieves. The following week the russians decided to test this machine in Moscow, they caught 10 thieves. Seeing the machine's success, the Mexican government wanted to try this in the City of Mexico, they caught 400 thieves. Then the ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

US Government furious at China for making Covid anal swabs mandatory for all foreign arrivals

If anyone's going to fuck our citizens, it's gonna be us! The US government!

So china is making phones without Google apps now

Guess it was always my way or the huawei

*i'm so sorry, I tried*

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Japanese, a German and a Chinese are sitting on a park bench

they start to talk and gets an urge to brag.
First the Japanese takes a pen out of his pocket and dismantles it, then shows it's body and says 'We made this'
the German takes out refill and says 'We made this'
the Chinese takes them and reassembles them, then takes a small marker and writes...

A man in China was killed by a group of underaged doctors.

He died by euthanasia.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Anal swabs are made compulsory for all international travellers to China.

This is in line with their "China first" policy. First China enters you, then you enter China.

What is a Karen called in China?

Kalen

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.