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Rights Jokes

Liberal people support human rights and the idea that people with disabilities should have equal labor market opportunities.

Now there is a disabled guy in the White House and all they do is compalain about it.

I heard a bunch of Chinese people chanting "We want rights! We want rights!"

They must be scared of the dark or something.

A professor is called to speak on human rights in the middle east.

A professor is asked to speak in the middle east on the subject of human rights.

He boards his plane and arrives without trouble. He continues his way to the podium he is about to speak on. To his astonishment the room is completely empty with the exception of one man.

Since his subje...

Ducks have more rights than you think

They have a whole bill of them

Gun rights

Fix this joke:

A blonde was getting heated arguing with her brunette friend. Her friend was trying to stay calm as she explained the importance of gun rights for personal and property protection.

"That's all anyone talks about, gun rights, gun rights, gun rights. All I'm saying is tha...

A Canadian and an Inuit representative were arguing over land rights...

The Canadian representative insisted on having all of northern Canada to themselves, but the Inuit representative immediately cut them off, saying they were having Nunavut.

we all know two wrongs don't make a right. but what do two rights make?

An airplane

What mythical creature fights for the rights of other mythical creatures?

Unioncorns.

What do you call a girl that raps about women rights?

Feminem.

We need to stop giving women rights.

We need to give them lefts as well.

That way they can finally drive as good as men.

My girlfriend is like the Miranda Rights.

Anything I say can and will be used against me.

Why do Texas women make sandwiches with their left hands?

Because they have no rights.

What did the conservatives say to the abortion rights supporters?

You'll never de-fetus.

Ray Rice doesn't believe in giving women rights.

However, he has no problem giving them a couple lefts

Walking hand in hand, a daughter looks up at her father and asks, "Daddy, what did YOU want to name me?"

"Zelda honey," he responded, "I wanted to name you Zelda. But on the night you were born, mommy said there was no way I was naming you Zelda. You see honey, mommy went through a lot that night, and I was in no position to win naming rights."

"But why Zelda?" she asked.

"Bec...

Texas:

Where a virus has reproductive rights and a woman doesn’t.

What do you call a Polish person’s rights?

Their pierogitive.

A large corporation hires a Tribe of cannibals...

And they tell them: "You have full rights as employees, but you're not allowed to eat anybody."

Things go well for several weeks and then the CEO calls the Tribe into his office. The CEO says:

"Somebody has been reported missing. Did you eat them?"

The chief of the Tribe checks ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An Englishman, an American and a Japanese guy are on a boat, moments away from plunging over a waterfall to their doom...

Suddenly a genie appears. The genie explains that he is of limited power. He cannot prevent their inevitable deaths, but he can grant each man one wish before he dies.

The American steps up first. 'I love my country. Before I die I want to sing my national anthem one last time. The full versi...

Lads if you are bored! Phone up women's rights groups...

And ask to speak to the man in charge.

I like women's rights

and the lefts - I love 'em both equally.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Teacher is talking to her class about Prostitutions rights in Nevada

She explains that Nevada has several brothels that have been in operation since the frontier days, and so legislature has been written to allow them to practice prostitution.

She then goes on to explain that, with the exception of Las Vegas, Nevada is mainly comprised of silver mining towns, ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Adulthood gives you 4 rights that you don't enjoy as a minor.

The powers are:

1. The right to drink
2. The right to drive
3. The right to vote
4. The right to fuck

But the catch is that you can only legally exercise one right at a time.

Drinking while driving, illegal.
Voting while fucking, DEFINITELY illegal.

Let's try ...

A school teacher in Hyderabad was once asked, "Can you make a sentence without using 'E'?"

"I doubt I can. It’s a major part of many many words. Omitting it is as hard as making muffins without flour. It’s as hard as spitting without saliva, napping without a pillow, driving a train without tracks, sailing to Russia without a boat, washing your hands without soap. And, anyway, what would ...

I'd like to get the rights to show Miami Vice backwards

I'd call it Miami Vice Versa

An older man is finally able to leave the Soviet Union in the late 1980s for the first time in his life.

His wife and son have already left and settled in the States, and he's finally able to go and join them.

On his way out through the Soviet border, the guard looks through his luggage and finds a bust of Lenin.

"What is this?" he asks.

"Don't ask me *what* this is, ask me *who* ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I don't support equal rights...

The left is fucked up too

Interviewer: What is your stance on women's rights and issues

Trump: Look, I know a lot of women, and they all have issues, next question..

I always see people saying we need to exercise our rights...

But how come I never hear anyone talking about our lefts?

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