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Values Jokes

Did You Hear About The Women With An Odd Fixation On Bulgarian Values?

She was looking for someone who was stroganoff to be her man

Pit bulls are the dog breed that most values higher education

A lot of them go after their masters.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Roy Moore says he’ll bring “Alabama values” to Washington, but I’m not so sure. I mean, he sexually assaulted teenage girls...

But he wasn’t related to any of ‘em!

What do you call a Norse god that values privacy?

Tor

Apparently, stating letters and their Scrabble values is a good idea...

...I for one agree.

A priest goes in a safari...

A priest goes on a safari in Africa. He gets separated from the group and has the bad luck of finding himself alone, facing a hungry lion.
Priest: "Dear Lord, I haven't asked for much in life, but if it is of Thy all-knowing will, please concede me the grace that this lion be imbued with Christi...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Premarital sex

Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage, and values.

Dave said, "I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married, did you?"

Frank replied, "I'm not sure, what was her maiden name?

What is the favorite boat of a sailor who really values the people in his life?

The friend ship

Undefined values are not useful for opinion polls

0 out of 0 statisticians agree.

My great great grandparents sacrificed a lot for our family. So as an Alabamian, family values are important to me...

I have to honor my incestors.

You can't see me. I am a man with inseparable values, but I cannot do the splits. :(

**INDIVISIBLE MAN!**

They say that Republicans no longer embody the Christian values they preach...

That's a little unfair if you ask me. They follow the golden rule perfectly. Whoever has the gold, rules.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Ted Cruz takes his religious values very seriously

He always pulls out before finishing

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy from Apple promised me a pre-release of a new product if I sucked his cock this morning. As if I would compromise my values for such a materialistic item!

Sent from my iPhone XI

Putin and Obama meet in Moscow

They're debating the merits of their respective societies. They argue about moral values and which country is doing better.

Obama: I've heard that all Russian are alcoholics.

Putin: That's a Russophobic myth. I bet there's not a single drunk out in Moscow tonight.

Obama: I don'...

3 men die and head to the gates of heaven

One is a mathematician. One is a philosopher. One is a lawyer. St. Peter is there to determine if he will let them in. He tells all three men he is going to ask them a question and that if they get it correct they will enter heaven.

He pulls the mathematician into a room and asks him: “What ...

Happy Pi Day

Me: I dreamed my teacher is making me read out endless values of π.

Psychiatrist: Is it recurring?

Me: Not as far as anyone can tell.

TIL that if you press and hold 0 on your keyboard it turn into degree (°)

As both have no values.

It was the mailman's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighborhood.

When he arrived at the first house on his route he was greeted by the whole family there, who congratulated him and sent him on his way with a big gift certificate envelope.
At the second house they presented him with a box of fine imported cigars.
The folks at the third house handed him a sel...

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