Distribution Jokes

A pastor, a priest and a rabbi discuss how they split up the collection between themselves and god.

Said the pastor "I draw a circle on the ground, then I throw the money in the air. What falls in the circle is mine, what's outside is god's".

Said the priest "I have a similar method, I... read more

UwUbuntu.

Boss: What have you been working on the last few hours?


Employee: A graphic display of convergent asynchronous load distribution.


Boss: The tracker flagged you on bukkake sites.


Employee: I stand by my previous statement.

One is an outlier to the right, the other is an outright liar.

A woman is driving with her son in the back seat to a new drive through service that allows for letter and parcel drop offs without having to get out of the car. It's supposed to be convenient.

When she gets there to drop off her letter there's a boom gate and a sign that says, "this boom gat... read more

First come, first served?

It's a dead giveaway.

They now block all movies with an IMDB rating of 3.14 ;)

Pi-rated .. sorry ;)

He went on to condemn the beverage as a tool of the WOKE agenda.

Witnesses were aghast, astonished, bewildered, confounded, confused, dazed, dumbfounded, flabbergasted, numbed, paralyzed, rattled, shocked, startled, stunned, stupefied, and surprised.

Propaganja. Thank you. I'll let myself out.

\*tips fedora\*

Her: What do you do?

Me: Global prosthetics distribution.

Her: So you’re an artificial limb salesman?



Me: I prefer ‘international arms dealer’.

If William Shatner really wanted to go “where no man had gone before”, He should have just used the associates bathroom At the Amazon distribution center.

Putin. He really loves the Poisson distribution.

You know, the Corona Distribution Center.

In the near future, a scientist makes the revolutionary discovery of a cure for aging. Filled with enthusiasm, he is immediately prompted to the political leaders of his country.

'This is truly amazing, Dr Smith! But before we can finally authorize the distribution of your medicine to the gen... read more

The distribution was random.

He said, "after extensive trials I have figured out a way to rotate a planet so it receives an even distribution of sunlight and evening."

"Wow," said one angel. "What are you going to do now, sir? "

And God said, "Call it a day."

IQ distribution graph

I got bullied because I couldn't even explain that that meant I was talking all the time with big and overly complicated words.

That's when the excrement made physical contact with a hydro-electric powered oscillating air current distribution device.

Poisson Distribution

A relative of mine works at a toy distribution center. They specialize in talking dolls. They recently received a Muslim one, but nobody knows what it says because they're all afraid to pull the cord.

She diagnosed me with multiple personality disorder.

Now I feel like a distribution.

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. As they lay down for the night, the fire dwindling nearby, Holmes said: "Watson, look up and tell me what you see".

Watson said "I see a fantastic panorama of countless of stars".

Holmes: "And what does that tell you?"

Watso... read more

They meet in a stylish bistro where the French businessman orders "un cafe".

Not wanting to be outdone the Saudi orders two cafes, a restaurant and a distribution warehouse.

I'm utterly opposed to any form of egg cracking on anyone's head and I totally condemn the act of the underage violent vigilante who cracked an egg on senators head. However with that being said what it highlights is the endless distribution and importing of eggs all around the world. Rising fear of... read more

Discreet uniform distribution

Lockdowns have been imposed, and the infection rate is rising fast. An overweight and diabetic anti-masker is standing on the steps of the church, going against lockdown procedures, when a bystander coming from the grocery store walks by. “Better return home man, the infection rate is rising fast!”<... read more