Netflix has devised the perfect way to stop the distribution of pirated movies
They now block all movies with an IMDB rating of 3.14 ;)
Pi-rated .. sorry ;)
At this mornings press conference, Ron Desantis announced that the state of Florida will be outlawing the consumption and distribution of coffee.
He went on to condemn the beverage as a tool of the WOKE agenda.
A truck carrying thousands of copies of “Merriam-Webster’s Thesaurus” overturned on I-91 shortly after leaving its distribution facility in Springfield, MA, spilling its cargo all over the highway.
Witnesses were aghast, astonished, bewildered, confounded, confused, dazed, dumbfounded, flabbergasted, numbed, paralyzed, rattled, shocked, startled, stunned, stupefied, and surprised.
What's the cutest Linux distribution?
What's the difference between a point in a distribution whose value is much higher than the rest and Boris Johnson?
One is an outlier to the right, the other is an outright liar.
Distribution of collection money
A pastor, a priest and a rabbi discuss how they split up the collection between themselves and god.
Said the pastor "I draw a circle on the ground, then I throw the money in the air. What falls in the circle is mine, what's outside is god's".
Said the priest "I have a similar method, I...
Employee on NSFW Sites...
Boss: What have you been working on the last few hours?
Employee: A graphic display of convergent asynchronous load distribution.
Boss: The tracker flagged you on bukkake sites.
Employee: I stand by my previous statement.
A woman and her 4yo son are driving to a new drive through letter distribution service.
A woman is driving with her son in the back seat to a new drive through service that allows for letter and parcel drop offs without having to get out of the car. It's supposed to be convenient.
When she gets there to drop off her letter there's a boom gate and a sign that says, "this boom gat...
What do you call the mass distribution of news and information regarding marijuana, as well as the demand for its legalisation?
Propaganja. Thank you. I'll let myself out.
What do you call the distribution of items on a will?
It's a dead giveaway.
I just donated some money to the maintainers of a Linux distribution derived from Red Hat
God spoke to His angels
He said, "after extensive trials I have figured out a way to rotate a planet so it receives an even distribution of sunlight and evening."
"Wow," said one angel. "What are you going to do now, sir? "
And God said, "Call it a day."
Captan Kirk & Today’s Shuttle Launch
If William Shatner really wanted to go “where no man had gone before”, He should have just used the associates bathroom At the Amazon distribution center.
Which politician is the biggest supporter of statistical sciences?
Putin. He really loves the Poisson distribution.
You are what you think you are
Her: What do you do?
Me: Global prosthetics distribution.
Her: So you’re an artificial limb salesman?
Me: I prefer ‘international arms dealer’.
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
Why don't they sell aspirin in the rainforest?
Because it would be economically unsound to attempt to establish a pharmaceutical distribution network in such a sparsely populated area
I've heard that if you drink 6 Coronas a night you can't get sick. I think it was the CDC.
You know, the Corona Distribution Center.
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. As they lay down for the night, the fire dwindling nearby, Holmes said: "Watson, look up and tell me what you see".
Watson said "I see a fantastic panorama of countless of stars".
Holmes: "And what does that tell you?"
COVID-19 plagues a rural country town in the States.
Lockdowns have been imposed, and the infection rate is rising fast. An overweight and diabetic anti-masker is standing on the steps of the church, going against lockdown procedures, when a bystander coming from the grocery store walks by. “Better return home man, the infection rate is rising fast!”<...
During the early 1900s the Heinz ketchup company was struggling to meet the increased demand for their product. They had invested heavily in factories and infrastructure but nothing seemed to increase their output of ketchup.
The CEO decides to hire an investigator from Germany who is well kn...
I used to be sesquipedally loquacious
I got bullied because I couldn't even explain that that meant I was talking all the time with big and overly complicated words.
That's when the excrement made physical contact with a hydro-electric powered oscillating air current distribution device.
What's Asian on top and black on bottom?
IQ distribution graph
I'm utterly opposed to any form of egg cracking on anyone's head and I totally condemn the act of the underage violent vigilante who cracked an egg on senators head. However with that being said what it highlights is the endless distribution and importing of eggs all around the world. Rising fear of...
What is a Statistician's preferred method of killing people ?
I made a graph to plot the curvature of bells.
The distribution was random.
Something happened at a friend's work
A relative of mine works at a toy distribution center. They specialize in talking dolls. They recently received a Muslim one, but nobody knows what it says because they're all afraid to pull the cord.
I felt like I was just a statistic, so I went to see a psychologist...
She diagnosed me with multiple personality disorder.
Now I feel like a distribution.
What do you call it when a statistician secretly gives out clothes?
Discreet uniform distribution