After having failed his exam in Logic, a student goes and confronts his lecturer about it.

Student: "Sir, do you really understand anything about the subject?"

Professor: "Surely I must. Otherwise I would not be a professor!"

Student: "Great, well then I would like to ask you a question. If you can give me the correct answer, I will accept my grade as is and go. If you howev...

A professor in a Logic class says "Alright class, if you know what 'affirming the consequent' means, then raise your hand."

A student raises her hand.



The Professor says "Ah, yes. You know what it is?"



The student says "No, why would you think so?"

Male Logic...

***Woman: And how long have you been drinking?***

***Man: About 20 years, I suppose***

***Woman: So a beer costs $5 and you have 3 beers a day which puts your spending each month at $450. In one year, it would be approximately $5,400 ...correct?***

***Woman: Do you know that if ...

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Talmud logic exposed

A young man in his mid-twenties knocks on the door of the noted scholar Rabbi Shwartz. “My name is Sean Goldstein,” he says. “I’ve come to you because I wish to study Talmud.”

“Do you know Aramaic?” the rabbi asks.

“No,” replies the young man.

“Hebrew?” asks the Rabbi.

“N...

Two clever nuns

There were two nuns

One of them was known as Sister Mathematical (SM),

and the other one was known as Sister Logical (SL).

It is getting dark and they are still far away from the convent.

SM: Have you noticed that a man has been following us for the past thirty-eight and...

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Three school teachers go to the nude beach: the math teacher, the history teacher, and the logics teacher. Suddenly, the female principal goes by them. So the math and history teacher put their newspapers on their private parts, while the logics teacher puts it on his face.

After the principal leaves, the first two ask the logics teacher: Why did you put your newspaper on your face? She clearly saw your junk!

That's the thing! I'm mostly recognised by my face!

Fiction Logic: How many anime dudes does it take to change a lightbulb

One...

But it takes them 10 god damn episodes.

So explain this logic for me. So a girl can cuddle another girl and still be straight right?

But when I cuddle another guy I’m “a creep” and “need to leave the morgue immediately”

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Logic

Bob and bill are at a bar drinking and talking.

Bob: I have been taking this new class at the local university lately. The class is called logic.

Bill: tell me more

Bob: ok let me give you an example. Do you have a lawnmower?

Bill: yes

Bob: so that means you ha...

Logic

A logician's wife is having a baby. The doctor immediately hands the newborn to the dad. The wife says, 'Is it a boy or a girl?' The logician says, 'Yes.'

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The Logical Redneck

Two rednecks decided that they weren't going anywhere in life and thought they should go to college to get ahead. The first goes in to see the counselor, who tells him to take Math, History, and Logic.

"What's Logic?" the first redneck asks.

The professor answers by saying, "Let me giv...

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Why did the Helium atom feel lonely? No one wanted to bond with it would be a logical answer.

The truth is, it is just an asshole!

I’ve realized I have a logic fetish

...I can’t stop coming to conclusions.

Logical fallacies are annoying.

Therefore, people that don't know about them are annoying.

A Man's Logic

A couple wants a divorce, but first they must decide who will be the main guardian of their child. The jury asks both the man and woman for a reason why they should be the one to keep the child. So the jury asks the woman first. She says, "Well I carried this child around in my stomach for nine mont...

The tale of Sister obvious

Once upon a time there was a nun called Sister obvious, they called her that as she was very logical and had a solution for most things.

One day, Sister obvious and a fellow nun was walking home from the market when her fellow nun (let’s call her Sister May) said “Sister, I think there’s a ma...

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Rabbi Eliezer was the most brilliant Rabbi of all time...

Nevertheless, his fellow Rabbis would often disagree with his opinions, leading to lengthy philosophical and theological debates.

During one debate on the subject of the legal minutiae of a religious ritual he found himself at odds with three of his colleagues. While everyone recognized that ...

Problem about being in IT. You go by requirements and logic.

Husband is a programmer.


Wife : Honey, please go to the super market and get 1 bottle of milk.
If they have bananas, bring 6.


He came back with 6 bottles of milk.


Wife: Why the hell did you buy 6 bottles of milk?!?!


Husband (confused): BECAUSE THEY HAD...

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My mother taught me...

My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

My mother taught me RELIGION. "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. "If you don't straighten up, I'm go...

I must have a fetish for circular logic

because I just came to this conclusion.

Canadian Logic

If I can hit you with a Hockey Stick...(And I will) You're too close.

\#covid-19

Why did the bicycle go to the psychiatrist?

It had cycle logical problems

Blonde logic...

A man walks into a sports bar. He sits down next to this blonde at the bar and stares up at the TV as the 10:00 news comes on. The news crew was covering a story of a man on a ledge of a large building preparing to jump.

The blonde looks over and says “Do you think he'll jump?"

The ...

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My teacher said people who study programming are better at "If-Then" logic

I've determined it's a bunch of booleshit.

Logic.

In class I learned:
Nothing is better than ice cream to eat on a hot summers day.
I also learned that if stranded on a desert island and you have crackers then at least they're better than nothing.
My professor then pointed out that crackers are better than ice cream and he logically prove...

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Boris Johnson,Donald Trump and Angela Merkel are fishing..

Boris Johnson, Donald Trump and Angela Merkel are fishing on the North Sea coast .

Boris Johnson starts to brag while looking at the Water : „We British have the best submarines in the World. Our subs can be submerged under water for over one month without refueling!“

Merkel is looking...

Don’t argue with the logic of a sonogram technician

It’s ultrasound

Logic

The amount of people who don't know the difference between too and to is two damn high

Anti-Vaxxers are immune to logical arguments

too bad for them they aren't immune to everything else

My friend told me that he thinks pennies are not logical

I just don’t get it. They make perfect cents

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Santa wants to learn the subject Logic

he goes to his friend Banta, and says, this 'Logic' is really difficult for me to understand. Could you please help teach it to me.

Banta: well its really simple. let me give you an example. Do you have an aquarium in your house?

Santa: Yes

Banta: logically there must be fishes ...

your faith was strong but you needed proof

you saw Nietzsche bathing on the roof

his philosophy and logic overthrew ya

My dad told me this joke in Serbian years ago. Hope it translates well.

A man is terminally ill and has 3 months left to live. Seeing as he was a holy man for all his life, God gave him a visit and granted him 3 wishes. The man ponders for a few minutes then asks for his first wish.

“God, I’d love to have a nice steak dinner and some brandy to wash it down with.”...

When logic goes wrong...

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says, "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he...

What does an anti-vaxxer say when confronted with logical reasoning?

“BEGONE, THOUGHT!”

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So two people are discussing logic..

One of them asks what logic is an the other one explains:
A_”So, you have a fish tank?”
B_”Yeah”
A_”So you like fish and water?”
B_”Yes”
A_”Where else can we find fishes and water together?”
B_”The sea!”
A_”Yes. And you also like beaches considering how close they are to sea”...

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If a female ferret doesn't have sex for a year, she will die. By that logic then, if my wife was a ferret...

She'd be a lot sexier.

Earth is the third planet from the sun.

By this logic, all countries are third world countries

No one uses logic anymore

I miss the Godel days.

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Logic

Three professors visit a nudist beach, and strip off. After some time they notice the Dean and his wife approaching. Two of the professors immediately cover their private parts with towels, but the professor of logic covers his face. When asked why, he says "My face is the way that I am usually reco...

My ex told me we broke up because I'm too reliant on logic and refuse to acknowledge my emotions.

I told her, correlation is not causation.

Logic hurts.....

*Wife:* I have a bag full of used clothing I’d like to donate.
*Husband:* Why not just throw it in the trash? That's much easier.
*Wife:* But there are poor starving people who can really use all these clothes.
*Husband:* Honey, anyone who fits into your clothing is not starving.

Blonde Logic

Three blondes were all applying for the last available position on the Highway Patrol.
The detective conducting the interview looked at the three of them and said, "So y'all wanna be cops, huh?"
The blondes all nodded.
The detective got up, opened a file drawer, and pulled out a folder.
...

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One day Bill is on a walk, when he sees his new neighbor, John.

He greets him and they start getting to know each other.

"So what do you do for a living, John?"

"Well I'm a logic professor"

"What's that?"

"Instead of telling you, it would be easier if I showed you. Do you own a dog house?"

"Yes, I do"

"Well then ...

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Logic 101

Mitch sees Nick, an old friend, and walks up to him: "Where have you been? Haven't seen you for a while at the pub. Wanna join us on the card game tonight?"

"I can't. I have a lecture in an hour."

"A lecture? Aren't you too old to study?"

"You're never too old to study the logic...

Have you heard the song ISIS by Joyner Lucas ft Logic

The song has been really blowing up recently

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A radio station was running a competition – words that weren’t in the dictionary yet could still be used in a sentence that would make logical sense. The prize was a trip to Bali...

DJ: “96 FM here, what’s your name?”

Caller: “Hi, my name’s Dave.”

DJ: “Dave, what’s your word?”

Caller: “Goan... spelt G-O-A-N.”

DJ: “You are correct, Dave, ‘goan’ is not in the dictionary. Now, for a trip to Bali: What sentence can you use that word in that would make se...

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Sounds logical

A little boy is on the toilet with diarrhea. He tells his mom to give him some viagra. “ What on earth would you need viagra for?” says the mom. The little boy says,” isn’t that what you give dad when his shit won’t get hard?”

Little girl logic

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher...

My wife and I split up because of psychological reasons...

She was Psycho and I was Logical.

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Proof that men are logical:

I was riding to work yesterday when I observed a female driver cut right in front of a pickup truck causing him to have to drive on to the shoulder. This evidently pissed the driver off enough, that he hung out his window and flipped the woman off.

"Man, that guy is stupid" I thought to myse...

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Logic at the Community College

Looking for a little knowledge, Jimmy walks into his local community college and asks the admissions clerk on duty what classes are being offered. The clerk tells Jimmy there is a logic course starting up soon.
"Logic?" Asks Jimmy, "what's that?"
"Logic is real easy, let me explain it this way...

Yodas Logic

Anakin: Are we going the right way?

Yoda: Offcourse we are.

Legal but not Logical

A young Law student, having failed his Law exam, goes up to his crusty old professor, who is renowned for his razor-sharp legal mind.

Student: "Sir, do you really understand everything about this subject?"

Professor: "Actually, I probably do. Otherwise I wouldn't be a professor, ...

The Exam

Three Highschool Sr's decided to blow off their final exam for their logic class, and spend the day getting wasted.

When they returned to class the next day they explained to the professor that they were unable to get to class the day before due to a flat tire and no cell phone coverage in th...

For Electrical Engineers Only !

What do they do with logic gates that behave erratically?

They call an XORcist.

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Professor of Logic

A guy sees his new neighbor out in his backyard, so he decides to get acquainted. After introductions, he asks the new neighbor what he does for a living.

The new neighbor says, "I'm a professor." The first neigbhbor then asks, "Oh yeah, what do you teach?"

"Logic," the professor repon...

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Redneck logic..

A redneck is peeing in a urinal looks downs and sees a quarter and thinks about it... Reaches in his pocket and throws in another quarter. Then reaches in the urinal and pulls out both quarters. Another man is staring at him and the redneck says "not for a quarter but for fifty cents hell yeah".

I read that Logic's touching performance at the Grammys tripled calls to the suicide prevention line,

Apparently Fergie's national anthem more than quintupled them

“Some people ask ‘why’ to determine a motive, I ask ‘why’ because I don’t believe there’s any logical reason to do anything.”

-Nietzsche on the habits of road crossing chickens

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Blonde Logic Highlights

Blonde Logic

January - Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.

February - Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels..."duh"...bottles won't fit in typewriter!

March - Got excited...finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months...box said "2-4 years!"

Apr...

Three logicians walk into a bar

The bartender asks: ”All of you want a beer?”

The first logician answers: ”I don’t know.”

The second logician answers: ”I don’t know.”

The third logician answers: ”Yup.”

Two nuns were walking home one night down a very dark street.

One nun was called Sister Mathematical because of her gift for numbers and the other nun was called Sister Logical because of her gift for reasoning. They soon noticed that a man was following them. They would speed up, and he would speed up. They would stop, and he would stop. Sister Mathematical s...

Anti-vaxxers are the most logical people that ever existed.

The joke ended right there , pretty much like their kid's life.

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So there are 2 farmers named Bob and Joe..

Bob never went to college, so one day he tells Joe he is going to enroll at the local university to get an education.

The next day Bob meets with the Dean of the university, and the Dean signs bob up for 4 classes.

Science, Math, Literature and Logic.

“Logic? What’s that?” Bob...

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If we used the same logic behind Aftershave...

We would call hand soap ‘Aftershit’.

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There are 2 farmers, Jim and Bob, sitting in a Bar having a beer..

Jim turns to Bob, and says, "You know what, I'm going to go to college!" He then leaves the bar and makes his way over to the local college. He is met with the Dean of Administration, who is explaining to Jim what classes he is going to take.

"Alright, Jim. You are going to take 4 classes," t...

Three pregnant women: a brunette, a redhead and a blonde are sitting in a bar.

The brunette says, "I know what I'm going to have."

The redhead asked how. She replied, "Well I was on top when I conceived, so I will have a baby boy".

The redhead said, "If the logic is correct then I will have a baby girl because I was at the bottom when I concieved.

The bl...

He walks through the midday heat, an occasional shot clips through the trees overhead.

He and many men like him question their logic to sign up. They could be home, spending time with their families but instead they are outside, dehydrated, fighting a battle they probably won't win. Their frustration mounts as they realize it's nothing at all like all the games they played as kids. ...

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College Level Logic

Jim and Bob, are sitting at their favorite bar, having a brew.

Jim turns to Bob and says, "You know, I'm tired of going through life without an education.

Tomorrow I think I'll go to the Community College and sign up for some classes."

Bob thinks it's a good idea, and the two le...

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Doctor of logic

Two Irish men are sitting down in a pub. They notice a man walk in with an amazing suit on. They both start talking about what job he has. So one of the Irishmen goes over and asks what job he has.

Irishman-"Excuse me mate, that's a lovely suit you've got there, could I ask you what job you h...

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John owned a Pizzeria with his buddy Harry.

But John wasn't satisfied with only making pizza every day. He wanted to study and walk a different path in life. So he decided to get back to school.

He told his buddy Harry that he would go see a consultant to talk about which subjects he should study.

The next day he went to meet wi...

Why did the Republican hate his logic course?

Because Philosophy is considered a *liberal* art

The logical positivists accuse the existentialists of not being sufficiently analytical.

But the existentialists accuse the logical positivists of not being sufficiently.

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Did you hear about the man who thought sex was better than logic?

He couldn't prove it

Sounds logical

Q; If your wife is shouting at the front door and your dog is barking at the back door, who do you let in first?
A: The dog -- at least he'll quiet down after you let him in.

A guy in a Law School walks into the Headmaster's office....

He tells the Headmaster, "Sir I have failed my exams, but you have to pass me if you are unable to answer one question that I have. The Headmaster accepted the condition and the guy asked, "Give me a scenario where there is: 1. Something legal but not logical 2. Something logical but not legal 3. So...

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Yokel Logic

Two country types are sitting outside a university, when a man comes out. One of them stands up, and goes over to talk to this man.

He says ''Ello there, son. You look loike one of them clever university toipes. What is it that you're studyin' then?'

The man, slightly stunned, says, '...

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4 men walk into a pub

They all sit down at the bar and get settled. The first guy to the left leans over to the bartender and asks, “Excuse me, ma’am, can I get a can of olives?”

The bartender hesitates with a confused look, and responds, “I’m sorry, but we actually don't have any olives, or any food items, on the...

Logic Lesson

A Fourth-grade teacher was giving a lesson and logic in class one day.

"Here's the situation" she said." A man is standing up in a boat in the middle of a river, fishing. He loses his balance, falls in,and begin splashing around and yelling for help. His wife hears the commotion, and knowing...

What is logic?

A mute telling a deaf guy that a blind guy saw a paraplegic running behind a bald guy while grabbing his hair.

Which president was the most logical?

Lincoln. He made the most cents.

Senior Moment Explained

An 86-year-old man went to his doctor for his quarterly check-up.
The doctor asked him how he was feeling, and the 86-year-old said, "Things are great and I've never felt better. I now have a 20 year-old bride who is pregnant with my child. So what do you think about that Doc?"
The doctor cons...

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