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The 1st day at school: the new student named Jose Armando, the son of a Mexican restaurateur, entered the 5th grade. The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American history.Who said 'Give me Liberty, or give me Death?'"

She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Jose, who had his hand up. "Patrick Henry, 1775."
"Very good!" apprised the teacher. "Now, who said, "Government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth?"
Again, no response except from Jose :"Abraham Lincoln, 1863....

Why did France give the Statue of Liberty to the USA?

Because the French had no use for a statue with only one hand in the air.

From my fiancée: Once upon a time, there was a gal who lived in Liberty, OH.

She followed her dream of becoming a fashion designer and opened a store with her own fashion line.

There was a cranky old guy living down the street who absolutely loathed her work, and every day he would come to the store and publicly denounce whatever was in the window.

Then, he mov...

Can a kangaroo jump higher than the statue of liberty?

Of course. The statue of liberty cant jump.

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An American and a Russian are arguing over which country offers their citizens more freedom.

The American says, “I could take a piss on the Statue of Liberty in the middle of the day and nothing would happen to me.”

The Russian says, “Oh ya, I could drop my pants and take a shit in the middle of Red Square at lunch time and nothing would happen to me.”

They finish off a couple...

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The American flag used to be a symbol for freedom and liberty...

But now it means, "Oh yeah. This person is about to say some real dumb shit on Facebook".

Why do so many Incels take a tour to the Statue of Liberty?

So they can finally get into a woman.

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Translation of the Bulgarian variation of the 1st day of school joke.

It's the 1st day of school at an American Middle School.

The teacher introduces the new student - Takiro Suzuki from Japan.

Class starts and she says:

- Now we will see if you know your history. Who said "Give me liberty, or give me death!"?

No one knows b...

MILK THE COW

A young man was staying on a farm with his uncle and aunt for the summer. One morning the aunt and uncle walked in the kitchen and the young man was drinking an extremely large glass of milk.

The young man said "I took the liberty of milking your cow this morning!" He then continues and says ...

A terrorist tells the suicide bomber they shouldn't attack the Statue of Liberty, because she's "too easy" ...

The bomber shrugs and replies "Eh, I'd still bang"

A pregnant woman is hit by a car....

She is sent into a coma for 1 year. She wakes up, no longer pregnant, screaming," Doctor! Doctor! Where is my baby?!"

The doctor replies, "Calm down, your babies are fine. You had twins! a girl and a boy. We gave them to your brother to watch while you were in the hospital."

She says,...

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Osama goes to heaven.

Osama made his way to the pearly gates. There, he is greeted by George Washington.

"How dare you attack the nation I helped conceive!" yells Mr.
Washington, slapping Osama in the face.

Patrick Henry comes up from behind. "You wanted to end the
Americans' liberty, so they gave you...

Paul Revere’s Chicken (OC)

Paul Revere has a chicken named Gallo. When the American Revolution was well underway, he spent several nights training the chicken secretly in his barn. When he finally felt Gallo was ready, he brought it with him to the Sons of Liberty. At first, they laughed.

“Well, now, laugh if you want,...

What does the Statue Of Liberty stand for

She can't sit down.

Statue of Liberty

How do you know the Statue of Liberty isn't French?
It doesn't have both arms raised.

And yes I know the French manufactured the Statue of Liberty and gave it to the United States

An American, a Frenchman, and a Colombian are all on a plane

The American sticks his hand out of the window and says,
“Look! We’re in my country.”
“How can you tell?” Says the Frenchman
“I can touch the Statue of Liberty.”
Sometime passes, The Frenchman then sticks his hand out of the window and says,
“Oh, we’re in my country now.”
“How can...

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Donald Trump.

I heard this was the subreddit for old jokes that aren't funny and won't die.

 

 

 

 

______________________________________________________
**Edit:** My goal (reddit bucket list type thing) was to create an organic, original,...

What do they call American Liberty in Israel?

A valid target.

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Grandpa's tale

Last week, I took my grandchildren to a restaurant. My eight- 
year-old grandson asked if he could say grace.  As we bowed 
our heads he said,


   
"God is good, God is great. Thank you for the food, and I would 
thank you even more if Grandpa gets us ice cream for dessert. ...

There was a water shortage in town and and an order came down from the commanding general,

“No liberty until the water situation improves.” All of the units on the base complied except a small contingent of navy Seabees led by a crusty old warrant officer. Come Friday night all of the troops on base were confined to base except the Seabees. They were turned loose in the town and proceede...

Benjamin Franklin and George Washington walk into a bar and sit down next to Trump.

Franklin turns to Trump and says: "I do not believe you understand the value of liberty, my good fellow."

Trump turns to Franklin and gives him a $100 dollar bill and says: "Of course I do. Money rules this world, Mr. Franklin. That's all I need to know!" Trump taps Franklin's portrait on ...

What kind of tea did the American colonists like?

Liberty

Why did they put Patrick Henry in a submarine?

Because he said "Give me liberty or give me depth".

Denise and WHAT?!

A woman falls into a coma as she is giving birth. When she wakes up a few weeks later, the doctor greets her with some news.

"Congratulations! You had twins; a boy and a girl. Since you were in a coma, we gave your brother the liberty of naming your children."

"What did he name them?" ...

World Trip

An American, a Englishman and a Russian are on a plane flying around.



Suddenly, the American puts his hand outside and exclaims: "Wonderful, the land of the free below us."

The Englishman and the Russion look at him and ask: "How do you possibly know?"

The American says:...

You know this country is in bad shape

When the Statue of Liberty has to work part time as a sign spinner.

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History lesson

A teacher was attempting to teach American history to her elementary students. She said I will give you a famous quotation from history and I want all who know who said it and when to raise their hand. She said "Give me liberty or give me death." The only one that raised a hand was a Japanese boy. S...

A french guy, an italian guy and an amarican on a plane.....

Among others, there are three guys on a plane. One is french, the other is italian and the third one is american.

The american says: "I bet I can guess where we are without looking outside, just by extend my arm out of the window". The other two go "Well, lets see". So he puts his arm outside...

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How do you piss off a 132 year old woman?

Stand on the Statue of Liberty and piss off.

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Three explorers...

...were going through the Amazon forest, one American, one French and the last Portuguese. Suddenly, they were captured by a cannibal tribe.

Tied to woods in the middle of the village, they hear scared for the proposition made by the chief cannibal.

"Each of you can make any wish. If I...

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The long-distance eyesight competition

A world championship eyesight competition is taking place in Japan. After several days, the 3 final runner-ups have to prove to the world, the audience and the judges who has the world's best long-distance eyesight.

The first guy steps up into the podium. He looks toward the West and squints ...

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It was the first day of class...

For Susuki, son of a wealthy Japanese businessman. The teacher introduces him to the 7th grade class.

"Ok class, let's start reviewing some history." said the teacher.

"Who said, 'Give me liberty or give me death.'?"
The class was in silence, until Susuki said:
"Patrick Henry, 17...

Don't blame Trump for this immigration policy,

Lady Liberty tried to come over from France 130 years ago and they still haven't let her in!

One nation, under Trump, divisible...

Trade liberty and justice for Wall.

The presidents of the United States, France, and Brazil are on a plane

At one point, the president of the United States sticks his hand out the window and proclaims,

"We are flying over the US."

The others ask how he knows.

"Because I just touched the Statue of Liberty."

A while later, the president of France sticks his hand out the window ...

On a dark and stormy night...

...a comet flies past Earth. This comet was enchanted, and after it flew past the world, it caused all statues to come to life, solely focused on destroying every country in the world.

No nation was left safe from this attack. The gargoyles attacked France. The Statue of Liberty led a revolt ...

Emigrating to America

Two brothers have a lifelong dream to immigrate to America. They work hard and save their money. After many years, they have saved enough money and finally emigrate into New York.

Before they begin building their new lives in America, they decide to see some of the famous places they dreamed ...

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Asian students

The teacher asked the class 'Who said "Give me liberty or give me death!"?'
Little Aiko raised her hand. "Yes" prompted the teacher.
"Patrick Henry said that".
"Very good, Aiko! Who said "Early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise."?
Little Aiko...

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