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A linguistics professor says during a lecture

A linguistics professor says during a lecture that, “In English, a double negative forms a positive. But in some languages, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, in no language in the world can a double positive form a negative.”

But then a voice from the back of th...

Yay, linguistics.

waiter: what kind of beer would you like?
customer: IPA, please.
waiter: /wɑːt kaɪnd əv beɪr wʊd juː laɪk/?

What did the linguistics professor fail Geometry?

He was really bad a translating!

A junkie broke into the local linguistics department

They were looking for morpheme

How did the linguistics professor punish the late student?

He gave him a harsh sentence.

I asked my friend if he preferred prescriptive or descriptive linguistics....

...he said, "It's **pro**scriptive".

Linguistics Student: "What's a glottal fricative?"

"*Heavy sigh*"

NSFW During a Linguistics lecture today, the teacher demonstrated how nouns can be turned into verbs;

for example "a brush is used to brush some one". My teacher gazed around the class, asking us for another example.

In retrospect, I don't think she liked the word "fist".

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

- Is there a doctor in the room?

\- I'm a doctor

\- This man is having a heart attack

\- Well, I mean I'm a doctor in Spanish linguistics

\- He's dying, for fucks sake, he's dying!

\- Se está muriendo, coño, se está muriendo!

The Pope Dies and Goes to Heaven

The Pope dies and, naturally, goes to heaven. He's met by the reception committee and, after a whirlwind tour is told that he can enjoy any of the myriad recreations available.

He decides that he wants to read all of the ancient original text of the Holy Scriptures, and spends the next eo...

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