UPJOKE
jointagglomeratemasssocialistcorporateaggregateclusteredsocialisticagglomerativeagglomeratedaggregativecollectivizedcommunityowncooperative

Collective Jokes

What is the standard unit of measurement for the Borg collective?

Cubits

I Like Jung's Theory of the Collective Unconscious

I think we're all asleep at the wheel!

My daughter says she now identifies as a small group of words that have a collective meaning

Should I be worried, or is it just a phrase?

What do you call the collective of all movies, songs, and stories about dogs?

Pup culture

What is the collective noun for a group of depressives?

A melancolony

What’s the collective noun for sneezes?

A choo.

What’s the collective noun for a group of bloodsucking parasites?

A Senate.

My family have been doing a collective workout challenge.

It was tough at first, very intense. As of this weekend though I can say we've collectively lost 80kg....


...or, Grandad.

A commissar goes to a collective farm...

... And hails a farmer to ask about how his village's farms are doing.

The farmer says "Oh Comrade Commissar, if we stacked all the potatoes in a pile, it would reach the foot of God!"

The commissar raises an eyebrow and says "Comrade farmer, we live in the USSR. There is no god."
...

What is the collective noun for three dyslexics?

A riot.

A Communist Party Bureaucrat drives down to a collective farm to register a potato harvest

"Comrade farmer, how has the harvest been this year?" the official asks.

"Oh, by the grace of God we have had mountains of potatoes", answers the farmer.

"But there is no God" counters the official.

"Huh", says the farmer, "And there are no mountains of potatoes either"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

For those who don't understand why management at Netflix has collectively shit the bed.

It's a Heard mentality.

A man from Moscow decides to move to a new collective farm in Siberia.

His family is excited at the possibility of leaving their cramped flat in the city for a nice country house, but they have heard mixed things about the new Siberian farms so the man agrees to go on his own first, and write back to let them know if they should follow him or not.

They know the ...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.