Freedom Jokes

[removed]

The bird of wisdom is the owl. The bird of love is the dove. What's the bird of true love?

The swallow.

No nevermind, the Chinese won't get it.

An american and a russian both praise their homeland.

\- Russian freedom is not different to US freedom.

The american says:

\-Now look, I could go right now in front of the white house and hold a protest against president Biden and nothing would happen to me.

\-My friend,... read more

An American tells a Russian that people in USA have the freedom of speech and that he even could go to the White House and shout:"Go to hell, Ronald Reagan!"

The russian answers:"Oh, we also have freedom of speech. I, too, can go to Kremlin and shout:" Go to hell, Ronald Reagan!"

The first man was brought forward and before they could shoot him he yelled "avalanche"! The firing squad panicked and in the confusion, the man jumped over the wall and into freedom before the firing squad could regroup.

The second man thought what the first man did was clever and when he wa... read more

Friend: There isn't a F in China

Me: Exactly

But we do not guarantee their personal safety after their speech.

but there is no freedom after speech.

... and only an old ugly witch can cure him. But the witch demanded a young handsome knight for husband, and Galahad took it for the team and married her. On the night of the wedding, the witch turned into a beautiful woman and offered Galahad the choice, she can be old and ugly during the day, and ... read more

... unless they're flashing behind you.

Looks like Americans are finally gonna get a taste of democracy and freedom.

"Miss, My mother says freedom is the most beautiful thing in the world. What does freedom mean?"

The teacher seeing the importance of this question for the sweet, innocent child, thinks quickly about how best to respond.

She smiles sweetly and says "Why don't you come up and tell the c... read more

The American says, “I can walk right up to the White House and shout 'Down with Joe Biden!' and nothing bad will happen to me.”

The Russian replies, “Guess what? I can walk in front of Kremlin and shout 'Down with Joe Biden!' and nothing will happen to me either.”

can't choose between comic sans and liberation serif

They never mention that part to us, do they .

Because freedom rings!



Happy Independence Day my fellow Americans!

Your parents in 2017: Freedom Eagle dot Facebook says Hillary invented AIDS.

Yes.

But depending on the speech, there may not be much freedom after the speech.

Independence.

While they wait to be executed they come up with a plan. Right before they are to be shot, each one will yell that some natural disaster or emergency is happening to distract the soldiers and they would be able to escape.

The brunette is first. As she hears the captain counting down to 0 she... read more

LiberTEA

(Im not sorry)

because it's the end of their sentence.

Because they shoot all the ones who go to school

EDIT: I love jokes and comedic freedom... but I AM SO SORRY ABOUT THIS ONE LOL

EDIT 2: Thanks for letting me share the pain of this one with you, internet. And I’m not European (where are ppl getting this lol), I am also 🇺🇸

If you do the math, that's only 180 people.

I don’t think that is true, there are controls everywhere!







(Seeing as Americans don’t know what orienteering is I foresee this joke bombing!) :D

It's good to see that, even decades later, the freedom fighters we trained can still drive out a superpower.

Seriously, Praise Be A Law

Turns out they were quite unhappy with the man-date.

American: Look, in my country I can walk into the Oval Office, pound the President's desk and say Mr. President, I don't like the way you're running our country.

Russian: Well, I can do that too.

American: You can?

Russian: Yes. I can walk into the Kremlin, go to the General Se... read more

He said "Im glad its free but what the hell is 'dom'"

Stupid auto-correct: I meant "Trump's presidency" not "teen pregnancy".

Apparently they're having such a hard time filling office space in the new Freedom Tower, they've opened it up to big chain department stores...

Just what America needs — another Target.

You can stand in front of the White House and yell, "Down with Reagan!", and you will not be punished.
Equally, you can also stand in Red Square in Moscow and yell, "Down with Reagan!", and you will not be punished.

1. "Partial mobilization" is when you are drafted in whole, and returned back in parts.

2. "Dad, why are we hauled off to the trenches?" "I don't know, son, I'm not into politics."

3. For a long time, the government told us, "if you don't like Russia, go to another country." Now they t... read more

I had to liberate the toilet for hours.

In principle, yes. In the USA, you can stand in front of the Washington Monument in Washington, DC, and yell, ´Down with Reagan!´, and you will not be punished. In the Soviet Union, you can stand in the Red Square in Moscow and yell, ´Down with Reagan!´, and you will not be punished.

Handcuff them

Soon changes their tone.

Because I always let Freedom Ring.

for cops and politicians from prosecution

Turns out it stands for United States of America


ALTERNATE JOKE:

I used to think the USA stood first and foremost for freedom and equality...

Turns out that was my imagine nation

Rudy, the longest standing resident explains they should all meet along the Southern wall at precisely midnight, whereupon he will use his recently illegally acquired hospital issue flashlight to vault them over the wall. Then it’s a short walk across the border into Mexico.

Upon hearing the ... read more

~~because freedom rings~~ because we have no-knock warrants as our pun-ishment of choice.

During World War II, four paratroopers each from England, Scotland, France and the US, were on a plane about to jump when they realized there was only one serviceable parachute.

The French paratrooper downed a glass of cognac, said "Pour la France!" and jumped without the parachute.

Th... read more

His father said, “In principle, yes. I could stand on the White House lawn and yell, ‘Down with Reagan!’ and not be punished. Similarly, I could stand in the Red Square and yell, without punishment, ‘Down with Reagan!’”

To make it to freedom, they have to climb over seven high walls. The first two are no problem, but they are starting to get tired after wall three. Wall four is quite challenging for them, but they make it with little issue. After wall five, they are exhausted, but they keep going. Smelling freedom,... read more

The Constitution guarantees freedom of the press